Confused

Different companies have different rules and regs. I had a £300 order go through without a problem from one online transaction only for a £12 online transaction to be declined the following week because my telephone number did not match what my bank had on record. When I changed the details of my telephone number with my bank I still had to contact the online retailer via that particular telephone line to verify my identity as my card was black listed with the site. I would not sweat too hard about it.

I told my Girlfriend last week and just clearing the air with her took a massive weight off my mind. Personally I hate secrets and in my humble opinion they never do anything but harm. At some point in time unless she is very silly she will find out, something will happen, she may find your shoes or catch you in the act. You said in your original post you think she is the one. If that is true and you do not tell her you will be on edge for the rest of your life worried she may find your shoes (sounds like hell to me). When it comes to secrets I have found the longer you keep them the harder it becomes to come clean until it feels impossible because of the mountains of lies that have to be told to cover for the secret. By the way I am not attempting to be preachy I just tend to call things as I see them and I am quite blunt when typing on forums. I was however terrified before I told my Girlfriend and to be honest the only reason I managed to do it was because it was a snap decision and I didn't give myself time to second guess it. I showed her my thread in this forum as I didn't trust myself to tell her what I wanted to say. She took it better than I ever would have expected and is quite interested in helping me along, she even helped me buy some new heels. Now I know I am bloody lucky to have such a great girlfriend (I had better write that just incase she reads this) but if I had not confessed I would still have been panicking she would find out and questioning my every move. After telling her the whole concept that wearing heels is taboo just seems silly (admittedly I am not running around telling everyone yet, but the idea that I was some kind of nutter is gone). Anyway whatever you decide good luck.

I know I do not need an excuse and just need to get the confidence to do what I want to do. That was a the point I attempted to make in my last post but I obviously managed to fluff it up somehow (I must have had a problem with the translation from my brain to the keyboard). Why I was angry with myself is because I needed the excuse for myself to feel secure. When I know that most of the population could not care less about what shoes I choose to purchase at the weekends. All of the barriers I saw on Saturday were my own creation and can only be broken by me. I guess I was also a little annoyed at myself for being so arrogant in thinking I could change the years of mental conditioning about gender roles I have received in my 28 years in under a week with no problems.

Virtually all the students I know and I know quite a few are up in arms about the rise in tuition fees. They all seem to have this warped sense of entitlement to public money to fuel their education and lifestyle. When I actually question them on what the problem is basically comes down to this "I might end up owing more money if I take more courses". The whole "it will keep poorer students out" and "the Lib Dems are liars" are just whines on the sidelines. I think it is a good thing if students think a while longer about their own education before just taking a student loan and jumping into a course that kind of interests them. I have one friend who is 26 years old and has been at uni since he was 20, he has just been moving from course to course changing his mind about any plans for a career every time I see him. Another of my friends is doing a psychology course because she thought it sounded "easy" she has no real interest in the subject or plans for a career. Both of those two spend more money on drink than anyone else I know, they are both constantly moaning about how they have no cash and neither have any kind of job and both were at the London march this week (to my knowledge they did not partake in any of the rioting). Now I believe they have a right to go to university just like any other person should and if they cannot afford it the tax payer stepping in when we have the funds is no bad thing. But when the private sector is being smashed like it is now, the working pubic should not be paying for people to go to uni so they can experience a life style. They should be there to learn and here is lesson one, nothing in life is free your education has always and will always cost someone money. The other thing I find hard to drum into their heads is that a student is loan is one of the best loans in the world. Imagine if you could walk into the bank and get a business loan for £100,000 with the interest rate of student loan that you would never pay back unless your business was a success. As for the rioters... Bring out the rubber bullets and tear gas.

The thing that annoyed me yesterday was the fact that I used an excuse at all. When you need to lie or use an excuse to do something you want to do, you are almost agreeing with the bigots. It is like you are saying "what I am doing is wrong and needs to be hidden away" and all that does is empower the stupid. After all, all I am doing is buying some shoes. Its not like I am drowning bags of kittens or making bombs for terrorists, I have nothing to be ashamed of. I just need to get my bloody head on strait and get on with it.

Might be a translation issue: is "in fancy dress" mean dressed up (perhaps a little more eccentrically), or "in a fancy dress", ie. crossdressed? Either way, I think an alternative story might be, "My wife challenged me to try to walk in heels before she'll wear some new high heels I bought for her." While a little wordy, it provides a cover on

Fancy dress in the UK means to wear a costume like some people do at halloween.

On Saturday after lunch me and Girlfriend decided to do some Christmas shopping in the city with the secondary objective of buying me some heels. After getting a few bits and bobs for Christmas we hit the shoe shops. Alas the bravado I had built up over the week disappeared rather fast. It seems that for me the prospect of sitting down in a shoe shop and trying on heels is a little too much. We tried a couple of places but I lost my bottle each time (I was starting to think that instead of buying shoes I should have been skipping down a road with a Tinman, a Scarecrow and a girl named Dorothy). After 4 or 5 places we decided to have a coffee and a chat. After a little talk we came up with a cover story (not really what I wanted to do but I can get my head strait for next time while I practice) of going in fancy dress for a new years eve party (not exactly original I know). So armed with a plan off we went for the second attempt. As we were walking past a BHF charity shop she noticed some black fabric covered heels in the window. Upon closer inspection they turned out to be a size 7. So in we went we gave the young lady behind the desk our planned excuse and she seemed almost exited by the prospect of selling me some heels (I swear I have never seen a woman smile like that in my life). As she passed the shoes to me I made sure I took it by the heel as I had taken the advice of someone here and measured my own hand, and from my little finger to my index finger was exactly 3 inches. So as I took hold of this shoe I knew it was less than that. While I tried them on my girlfriend made a comment about the lack of heel. They did fit nice and I liked them but it almost felt like normal shoes. The sales girl then left us for a while she had a look in the back. She returned with silver sandals that I think saw better days in the war and a pair of black patent heels with an ankle strap. The sandals were an instant no and as I took the black ones the heel filled my hand so I knew they 3 inches. I tried them on and found them very easy to walk in compared to the dominas at home. After a brief chat with my girlfriend I took the first pair I tried on (turned to be 2 and half inch) and the black 3 inch heels. Although I ended up with charity shop shoes this time the girl in the shop did give me a bit of a confidence boost with how happy about the whole thing she seemed to be. This was not at all what we had planned on, but I now have something to practice in. Also if I damage them it does not matter as they cost next to nothing.

hi,

i dutch, so sorry for my english.

i bougt a new pair boots, named domina 2000, with 5,5 inch heels

but the dilivery time is one week. It's my first time walking on high heels

I have a few questions. how does it feel? does it hurt? how do your feet feel, when you take off your heels? do you have painfull achilles?

tanks!

I got my first pair of heels from the internet last monday. I got a pair of 6 inch Domnia 402's and it is like walking on skyscrapers in a strong wind during an earthquake with the ground greased with butter, after only a few minutes it hurt my calves and made my knees tremble it never hurt my feet though. It reminded me of the feeling you get if you go out for a long run without doing any warm ups first. Yesterday me and my GF bought some 3 inch heels and some 2 and half inch heels so I can get used to it and build up to the 6 inch heels.

I have no interest in having long or short nails, I also do not bite them, shape them or anything like that. I only cut them when they get in way or if I snap one when it gets caught on something, this is mainly due to laziness. So I would say they are normal and right now each one is just past my fingertips, I do make sure there are no funk-tastic shapes but no two are identical, still they are fairly long as I tend not to consume them. I have only had 1 person ever ask me why my nails are that long and response consisted of something like this "huh? Because I can't be bothered to cut them, got a problem with that mate? Or are you offering me a manicure?", that got him to STFU pretty fast. I do a lot of cooking as well and I find it makes chopping up fruit and veg faster and easier if I slide the blade down my fingernails. Plus when I lose control of the knife (it does not happen that often but when it does happen, fun it is not) having a nail between it and my not so knife proof flesh comes in bloody handy. I don't know if you could use that as an excuse.

Given that the iphone is touch screen, there is probably an app for that too

I can see your average iphone user smushing his wang into his iphone even if he don't have an app. But with that feeble screen I am sure you would break it. I think you can damage it just by looking in its general direction with too much gusto.

I have a BlackBerry 8900 and I love it, to be honest though the poor thing is getting old if it could make me sandwiches and had a suitable hole I would marry it and make sweet, sweet funky love to it.

hh4evr1 - It looks like my sense of humour does not convert very well into text. That coupled with the fact that it seems I over think my jokes, as the reason she would need to wear flats is so she can make the sound of what people would classify as male shoes and so we would create the ultimate ruse (at least in my head anyway).

JNR - During local campaigns in our area it tends to stay pretty clean. We leave the dirty politics to Cambridge City down the road. Plus we normally fight the Liberal Democrats, as much as I dislike their policies they have fantastic principles during campaigns, something like that would smear their reputation as bad if not worse than mine. But it is good advice none the less. At the moment of course I am not 100 percent sure what my involvement with heels is yet, but when the time comes we will see what happens.

I guess I should post a proper introduction so here it is. I am new to heels (less than a month) and to honest I didn't know what was wrong with me, I questioned myself a lot for the last few weeks and I stumbled here by mistake. I could not believe there were guys who just wanted to wear heels but still dress like a man (not that I have any problem with anyone dressing the way they want) as I figured I must have been a transvestite if I liked heels. I then posted a... I am not actually sure what I posted, a plea for help? Maybe I just want somewhere to vent my problem. Whatever my plan was the other posters here had three main things to say to me. One. Your not mental, there is nothing wrong with you. Two. Tell your Girlfriend. Three. Get lower heels the ones you bought are too high to learn in. That helped me a lot and I decided then and there to tell my girlfriend as the longer I waited the more I would have to lie and hide things. I hate lying and I cannot even hide christmas presents with any degree of success let alone a shoe collection. I was lucky in the fact my girlfriend is awesome and decided to support me. She has even offered to help me buy some new lower heels this weekend. About me. I have three main things that my life revolves around. Music, Games and Politics. The Music I listen to consists of many various styles including 60's and 70's rock (The Kinks, The Rolling Stones, David Bowie ect) 70's and 80's Metal and Punk (Black Sabbath, Motorhead, Motley Crue, The Jam, The Sex Pistols ect) 90's to Now Metal (Rammstein, Fear Factory, Smashing Pumpkins, Machine Head, Pitchshifter, Arch Enemy, Nirvana ect) to EBM and Industrial Dance (VNV Nation, Wumpscut, Front 242, Assemblage 23, Seabound ect). I goto gigs as often as I can, but not as often as I would like. The games I play are mainly FPSs like COD, MOH, Team Fortress 2 and Left for Dead. I do play some RPG's but only BioWare ones. I do not play any MMORPGs as they eat too much time. I play on a mixture of Xbox and PC. Politics is my true love, I am very active in my local area. I consider myself a Libertarian Conservative I am a full member of the Conservative Party, the Tax Payers Alliance and the Freedom Association. In a nutshell I believe in a low tax, small government society free from the level of government meddling we currently have in all of our lives in the UK. Kind of similar to the Tea Party Movement in America (I am not racist, homophobic, or sexist... Just thought I would mention that as some members of the Tea Party Movement gave it a bad name fast). I had better stop there as I can talk politics all day with a sock puppet on my own hand. Anyway that me.

I am from Cambridgeshire. As for the boots it would depend on the gig. I do not know what style of metal you are into. If you went to Rammstein or Manson concert I do not think anyone would even notice them. I find the metal community as a whole is pretty damn cool about peoples personal styles anyway. I just showed my girlfriend the picture of those boots and she said if she saw a guy wearing those at a gig she would have to talk to him because they are badass. I don't know what your style is but I think I would go full on gothmetal with those boots and wear leather trousers and a black vest or net shirt and chuck some chunky arse gothic style pewter jewellery on my fingers.

I am new to heels but personally I have always loved my shoes. Men's shoes tend to be built for substance over style and I cannot call that boring it is just functional. How it seems to be working in my head at the moment when I want to goto to a gig and go moshing I will put on my steel toe capped Caterpillars as they are indestructible, they protect my toes from fat blokes landing on them, they have a grip that stops me falling over while bouncing around on the dance floor and I feel like robocop when I wear them. If I want to go for a run I put my Nikes on they have a good grip so I can run faster, they cushion the blow of my foot hitting the ground so protecting my joints from becoming damaged and I feel like I can run 100 miles an hour when I wear them. While I was writing this I then got to my shoes I wear when I am in one of my suits. Here even after 10 minutes of thinking I have to concede the point. I bought them from clarkes shoes I don't really even know or care what the style they are. They just happened to be black, shiny and they fitted it took me less than 15 minutes to buy them, there was little to no thought. When I wear them feel nothing. This would be where heels would slot into my void (that could be misconstrued but I will leave it there for comedy value). As surly when I am suited up my shoes should make me feel powerful or at least make me feel that I am looking good which sadly they do not. But I am sure that there are people out there that feel exactly that. I guess my point is that while I do want some shoes with style I do also want some more functional footwear on occasion and I do love function.

This is not something I even considered, plus I guess it will be a while before I am confident enough to go out wearing them. I have to admit the idea of click clacking down the road does kind of worry me a tad. Maybe I can get my girlfriend to wear flats and go out with me. If we walk in step and keep real close together we should be fine. But if anyone did give us any hassle I could stamp on his foot for an effective deterrent of messing with a fella in heels before giving him a nice classic right hook. All jokes aside I think the noise is part of the deal it is something else that makes heels different from flat shoes. I also think the main thing that needs to change is public opinion in general. As human beings we are all different and all have a vast range of hopes and desires. Yet men and women are forced to dress and act in a certain way to conform to an idea of male and female decided by people long dead. All that conformity does is drive some of your desires underground and all that does is twist them from something innocuous into something that takes over your life, causes damage to your relationships, career and friendships. Um... I think I have over thought this. Basically yes I am happy with the noise...

The more I think about it the more I find the whole situation I had put myself in hilarious. I am a somewhat alternate looking person, I tend to rock a full beard, I wear my hair to the middle of my back after years of growing it and tend to dress like I fell out of a madmax movie. I listen to some very extreme styles of music including death metal and Industrial Dance. I am very used to small minded idiots assuming I am unemployed, a drug user, an alcoholic, gay (because of my hair) or some kind of thug. Even with this I have a good job I am also heavily involved with local politics being on the conservative executive committee for my town and district and I maybe running for a town council position next year. My sheer force of will tends to get me through as I tend to give people two choices, take me as I am or get out of my way before I go through you. The argument of personal style should not dictate what I can and cannot do in life also seems to get me a long way as well. I do wear a suit and tie for work and for a lot of the activities I partake in for the Conservatives but I see that as a uniform I need to don if I wish to earn the wage I am on or be as involved in local politics as I am. Perhaps one day these things will change but alas at the moment the real world is the real world. Now all I need to do is work out where my new love for heels fits into my life and what clowns I may have to run over that attempt to stifle me. P.S. How do you 'thank' people on the forum (I mean the forum mechanic not just typing the words thank you)? As I am mainly using my phone to use this site and I am finding it hard to navigate.

I still cannot believe how much better everything feels today. Yesterday I felt ashamed as if I was a weird pervert that had to hide my new feelings for fear of being outed as some kind of weird freak of nature. Today I am just a bloke that likes shoes. All of my problems were in my own mind. I also think all the guilt and bad feelings was from the fact I was hiding it from my girlfriend rather than liking a different style of shoe than is considered the norm. Anyway thanks again guys I am now back to being me.

Well I woke up this morning and came on here just after breakfast. I read the messages and started to feel a little better and decided to tell her. Hell I have not been afraid of anything in my life, I make a point of letting people I don't know, know that I don't care what they think. And here I am scared of shoes, I mean what the hell they are just inanimate objects. So anyway my GF walked into the room and asked if she could use the PC after me to check her emails. I tried to say something to her but I could not find the words. I think I started to have a panic attack and my new found bravado disappeared so I just scrolled up and got out of the chair and let her sit down and I managed to say read that please and I walked out of the room and left her to read my post while I went for a shower. As soon as I walked out I started to full on panic knowing I could not go back and it was out of my hands. I had the fastest shower of my life followed by the longest time looking at a door I have spent in my life as in my head as long as I stayed in the bathroom I was safe. When I finally walked back into the living room the PC was turned off and she was sitting on the sofa and told me sit down and we had a talk. What I didn't think about at all this last week was how weird I have been acting she had noticed me looking at every girl that walked by. I thought I was being sly and looking out of the corner of my eye but she said I was nearly turning around every time I heard the click clack of heels and she wishes she knew I was checking out the shoes rather than the wearer, as she thought I had lost interest in her. Then she told me she felt a little hurt that I thought she would leave me over something as silly as my choice of shoes and socks but could understand why I was so scared. She then asked to see my shoes, I got worried again but told her where they were. She said she wanted to see me in them. At this point I am still not sure if I was exited or terrified. Anyway I put them on and called her into the bedroom wishing my jeans were longer so they would cover them up. When she came in I expected her to laugh or be disgusted but she seemed more surprised and made fun of the fact that my first pair of heels were "stripper heels" that she would struggle to walk in. She then said we would get some lower heels at the weekend from town. Then she left for work. I cannot believe how this all played out if had not have bought those shoes last week while drunk, been able to cancel the order, been able to walk in them, not come here, not posted and not read your posts then my GF would have gone to work today thinking I was going to cheat on her or leave her when all I was worried about was bloody shoes... To be honest I feel like a proper idiot now. Thank you so much for giving the strength to man up. Also sorry about the grammar and spelling I am writing this on my phone while on the way to work.

Until a couple of weeks ago I had never worn a pair of heels. But at work they had a fancy dress day for children in need. I am a metalhead and have very long hair (down to the middle of my back) and some of the girls wanted to dress me up. Having never been interested in dressing as a woman at all I said no for well over a week until for some reason that I still cannot fathom I said ok. One of the girls took some measurements and my shoe size. On the day I got to work an hour early and they put makeup on me put my hair into pigtails and braided it. Then helped me get dressed. They had me wear white knee high stockings with little red bows, a bra stuffed with tissue, a big white dress that reached my ankles and some shiny black high heels (I do not know how high). I expected to feel humiliated but I found myself fascinated by the shoes and stockings. I stayed dressed like that for 4 hours until lunch then everyone was changing back into their normal clothes. I pretended to be relieved but I actually felt disappointed, especially when I gave the shoes back. The girl that brought in the dress told me it was from a charity shop and I said I would donate it while I bought my lunch that day. But I kept in it my car instead where it stayed for a few days. A couple of days later my GF was out. I then got the dress out and tried it on again. Unfortunately it did nothing for me so I put on some of GF's makeup and used some of her hair scrunchies. That still didn't really make me feel like I did that day so I put on some of her stockings and tried to wear some of her shoes but she is a size 4 and I am a 7. But just the thought I trying to wear them exited me but I would like to mention not in a sexual way, I find it hard to explain. I then took it all off and hid the dress. For days afterwards I found myself looking at high heels in shoe shops when I walked by and on amazon but I didn't have the courage to buy any. Then last monday I got a little drunk and when I got home from the pub I decided to buy some high heels from the internet. I went on amazon and looked at loads of pictures trying to find some that looked like the ones I wore before. But the only ones I could find in black patent and my size in stock were really high. I bought them anyway for £50 and went to sleep. When I woke up I remembered what I had done and went to cancel the order but it was being processed. For a week I have not been able to think about anything else, half exited about wearing them and half terrified my GF will be at home when the package arrived. Luckily I was home alone when it came yesterday. I got dressed up again and put the shoes on but found I could not walk in them at all even standing up was hard. I managed to get around the house by leaning on the walls and I stayed dressed up for over an hour knowing my GF was at work and I would be alone. But it never got easier to walk or stand. So I did a google search for how to walk in heels and I found this forum. My problem is that less than a month ago I was a normal guy with 1 pair of steel toe capped boots for gigs, 1 pair of trainers and some shoes for my suit and I was happy, but now I seem to be obsessed with womens shoes and stockings the rest of it like dresses, makeup and stuff like that seem not matter so much. At work I seem to looking at all of girls shoes in the office and trying to remember how they stand and walk so I can copy it later myself. I also want to tell my GF but I don't know what it is I want to tell her and I am afraid she will think I am gay. I know I do not want to be a woman and I am not attracted to guys. Sorry for the long post and sorry if it makes no sense or if it does not belong here I just had to get this off my chest. Infact I have not even posted yet and I feel better. The shoes I bought are called Pleaser Domina 402's.