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Out in public, finally


thighhighs

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Well, Nyghtfall, that sounds like it didn't go as well as you'd hoped. On the other hand, you and your father still have a strong relationship, and that is the most important thing in the world. I'm sure that what's happened is you've given him one heck of a shock, and he needs to get over it a bit. Well done on telling him - I know it's not easy to tell a parent. (As I have written elsewhere, I've told my father and step-mother, but not my bio-mother - and I don't expect I ever will). I don't know your father, but I'm one, and I like to think that whatever my child tells me won't change how I feel about them, nor that they're my child. And I would always be there for my child, whatever. I guess that when your father's had some time to think, then he'll come around. Perhaps he'll never be happy about it, but I'm sure that he'll accept it, in time. My fingers are crossed for you. I'm sure it'll work out.

Obsessed is such a strong word. I prefer to think of myself as "differently enthusiastic"

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Nyghtfall,

I can only agree with the previous post here. I feel for you too, if that makes you feel any better.

I think it was very strong of you to talk to your father about it. It is a very big step to tell anyone about it, specially if it's family.

Belive me, I haven't told anyone yet, specially not family. And I've been wearing heels in private for almost 20 years now. So I think you did the right thing and I only wish I had the same guts to do it myself.

To all,

I've been going out in heels in public now and then, since november.

I don't know if the 2" block heel boots I posted in a previous reply in this topic counts as 'high heels', but they are still non-masculine and a bit higher than men is supposed to wear (at least in Sweden). These boots, I'm wearing on a daily basis now and haven't received any negative reactions.

I was actually looking for a slightly higher heels when I bought them but it was difficult to find any that wasn't hard. I'd like to avoid the clicking hard sound when walking.

Add to this the 3" stiletto boots in the beginning that I wear at least once a week on well planned trips and the other 3" boots below that I am really beginning to like;

Posted ImagePosted Image

If you should start wearing heels in public, these are my general rules;

+Go for the easier heels; max 3" and block heels that don't make too much sound, something you feel comfortable in. (This rule I break myself beacuse I love stilettos)

+Not too feminine toe-shape. Wide rounded, square or something like that. (Ok, I've broken this also, because I love the pointed toes of the 80's, not todays extreme, and won't wear anything else)

+Use boots, more than ankle high. HH Boots are more accepted than loafers or pumps on guys.

+Choose the same color on the shoes and the pants (preferably black).

+Regarding the length of the pants, it's really up to you how much you dare to show.

You could hide the whole heel with really long pants, this makes it look quit normal when standing or walking slowly. On the other hand, if someone sees the heels, they also notice that you are trying to hide them with long pants. This might give you some negative reactions; you are wearing heels but don't dare to show them, are you gay?

Personally I prefer to end the pants exactly where the heel beginns, displaying the whole heel. I think it gives the best result from an aesthetical point of view, ie it looks good.

Ending the pants too high looks ridiculous, too low looks as you were ashamed of the heels.

+Where you choose to walk in them is also up to you. I'd say that you should start on a crowded place during rush-hour, not in an almost deserted area.

If it's crowded and everybody is in a hurry, they will probably not have time to look or react on your shoes. Also you you can build up your confidence with a lot of people around you.

If you are in an empty deserted area, you will get noticed by the few people there, because there ain't much else to look on. This gives them a lot of time to scan you from top til toe.

I've read some posts on this board where the heelwearer should avoid the cops, have pepper-spray prepared and always be on the lookout for strangers. I think that's a bit schizophrenic. Be yourself and be smart instead, a natural relaxed look don't get attention.

Thighhighs

My favourite boots: Bronx Scarlet Hi, as in my avatar.

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I forgot in the previous post, to draw attention to the fact that this subject seems to be of major concern to a lot of people on this board. Almost 2500 views puts this topic on the top-10 I guess. Did I make a catching headline or is it something else? Doesn't anyone else have a story of their first time in public? Thighhighs

My favourite boots: Bronx Scarlet Hi, as in my avatar.

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6in_pumps wrote: If you start you will find it difficult if not impossible to stop.

That same thing can be said about wearing high heels. Once you try them, you'll never quit. :lol:

Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.

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Since I moved to the obscure hamlet of Wisbech I hadn't been out in my heels. Partially nerves, partially timing, and a whole lot of lack of confidence. However, recent chats with my lovely lodger (Hi Samantha) has given me one hell of a boost. So I went to work today in 3inch block heeled boots. Timing was good as I knew I"d be the only one in the office all day, confidence was high as I was comfortable and the nerves never got a look in. No one turned around and offered arrogant remarks, infact I think few people noticed at all. He he.. apart from the bosses missus on the way out the office. I do know however that without Sam boosting my confidence and you guys being so open I probably wouldn't have stepped out again for a long while. Doc

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hi all, was off work today so decided to catch up on a few chores,as you will know from my previous post this is not my first time out in public but today was different!!!!! To date i have not been out in daylight for a signifcant period of time in heels so i decided to bite the bullet...... Pulled on my "safest" pair of boots (3/4 length with 1.75" heels) under a pair of old jeans and went outside to clear the rubbish out my garage that has accumulated over the months.Having loaded up the car with rubbish,I started out on the 3 mile journey to the local tip (in the past i have tended to pack a pair of trainers to change into in case i "chicken out",today all i had was what i was wearing so there was no going back..).On arrival at the tip i told myself "take no notice of anyone around you,if you look at them they will look back & you will draw attention to yourself".Don't ask me how but i managed to get out the car (very apprehensive,trying not to show it!)go to the back & unload without incident.Even though it was a Tuesday morning it was suprisingly busy! No one seemed to notice, if they did i certainly was not made aware of it.Now feeling very comfortable & excited in my heels i drove away for my second mission: A parcel needed collecting from my local postal sorting office,so as it was on the way home i naturally would have to go & get it! Now i should explain that the sorting office is right next to a level crossing which is also nextto my local railway station.To visit said premises involves parking across the road & using the level crossing to get there,this i did with the added bonus of the gates being down,so as this is a busy road having to walk past a lot of stationary vehicles thus a lot of spectators as well as passing pedestrians.Without trying to make it too obvious by counting i must have passed 30+ people,while here,did this feel good or what!!!!! Now to find the confidence to do it again with perhaps some higher heels,any ideas anyone???? :lol::(:)

keen to meet other uk male heel wearers to try & boost my confidence to wear heels in public

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As I am more or less broke for the time being... -Buy me a pair of those stiletto boots (size EU44 please), and I *promise* to wear them in public (I can nowadays produce both digital still- and video shots as proof of the deed... :lol: ). -Fair deal? I get the boots to wear and you get the pics in return??? -I'm on! TallSwede PS. I was *first* to make this offer, so everybody else, please queue up. DS

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Posted Image

IF I were to ever wear RED spikes in public, these would be the ones (over tight breeches of course!)

The chance of that happening is about the same as the proverbial snowball surviving in Hell, though! :lol:

"All that you can decide, is what to do with the time that is given you."--Gandalf,

"Life is not tried, it is merely survived

-If you're standing outside the fire."--Garth Brooks

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I actually own a pair of those lace-up boots, only mine are in black. Couldn't resist the metal toe caps and spike heels. The heels are just at 6", as you guessed. The boots have "blind" lacings, meaning that the seams behind the lacings are sewn closed. But, I opened the seams on my pair so that I could adjust the fit with the lacings. I haven't worn them out over my jeans though, but I have worn them around under jeans. Even though the boots are covered, you can't mistake the sound of the heels. Really fun to wear.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello again.

Just thought I'd share my last purchase with you guys. It's a pair of 'cowboy'-styled boots from Gabor International.

Posted Image

These might not count as high heels, but they are still a style somewhere between female and male. I have worn these in public and at work for a week now and only got positive reactions.

See you...

My favourite boots: Bronx Scarlet Hi, as in my avatar.

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For the first time ever, this last Saturday night I braved the New York City nightlife scene wearing a pair of black Nine West 3.5" blade heeled boots with the heels totally exposed. My initial commitment and desire to "come out" overcame my intial hesitations. The environment was a very popular dance club. A few excerpts from my adventure: First, no one really seems to notice your heels. If they do, they really don't seem to care at all. People have more things on their minds--like themselves--than they do someone elses shoes. Second, I actually went up to 4 women and asked their opinions about my entire dress code. I was wearing black slacks and a grey DKNY shirt which I directed their attention to. Once I had their O.K. on that, I asked, "and what about my shoes?" The first girl who was Turkish laughed out loud. She looked down at them again and laughed out loud again. Fortunately, my self-acceptance is powerful enough to strenghten in this and I moved onto the Second girl, who was college aged and blonde. She made a thumbs down gesture. Then her friend came over and she too made a thumbs down gesture. This didn't phase me even a bit as I replied, "thanks and I appreciate your honest feedback." She said, "you know what. Fuck it. If you like the shoes, wear them. You think I give a crap what people here think of what I wear. All that counts is that you like them." So, to me, that was POSITIVE and encouraging comment. The third girl who was wearing leather pants said, "the shoes look okay!" I said, "you know they have a heel on them" and she smiled and shook her head up and down. Then she asked me to walk around a little in front of her. When I came back she said they looked feminine. I asked if it would be better if I wore pants that totally covered the heel and she said yes. Again, a POSITIVE and encouraging comment. The fourth girl was such a brief and fleeting converstation that her opinion didn't resonate with me either way. This was overall a GREAT and uplifting experience for me. I realized that I really do feel safe and secure wearing heels totally exposed in public. Most people in New York are conditioned to expect the unusual so I expect a desensitized response from most. I do not depend on that desensitization as my starting gun though. My starting gun starts with my heart. And if I feel like wearing high heels, feminine and dainty and all out from now on, I will forever confidently and fearlessly wear them with pride.

Feminine Style .  Masculine Soul.  Skin In The Game.

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Nice one kneehighs :lol: Good on you. When I made my first venture out into the world I didn't dare ask anyone what they thought, so good for you for asking people what they thought! I hope you make many more ventures out into the world with heels like this... cos from this experience I think you'll have many more better experiences! Some very positive comments came out from that... it's really good. I'm jealous now! :( Happy heeling! SH

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Kneehighs wrote:

Second, I actually went up to 4 women and asked their opinions about my entire dress

Why did you even bother to ask? I would think these women wouldn't have even noticed your shoes if you handn't focused their attention on them.

your first sentenance, "First, no one really seems to notice your heels.", is correct. So, next time, wear them and forget it. If someone comments, then you can handle it when it occurs.

Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.

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I asked the girls what they thought because I was curious and it was fun. I do not need anyones approval for me to enjoy wearing heels but my own, but my desire is to find a woman who encourages me to wear high heels on our dates out, and our dates in...(you know)...so, just to get some feedback on my STYLE and overall FASHION sense, I asked...Plus, its tremendous fun if you ask me! You should have seen the girl in black leather pants. I didn't even look at her shoes before I talked to her. And when I looked at her shoes and she looked at mine, we both smiled and I said, "My god! They're the exact same kind." This goes to mention a story of some Nine West DONEDEALS I bought. As I was walking up the steps of a bus and looked to my left for a seat, only one was available next to a pretty brunnette. She too was wearing DONEDEALS so that made for an interesting moment.

Feminine Style .  Masculine Soul.  Skin In The Game.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Dear all

Well, I`ve done it, finally been seen out in public wearing high heels!

I had been away for the weekend and ended up in Leeds to see an ex-girlfriend, who I still get on extremely well with. As I was on my way to meet her I passed The Garage Street Shoes, having previously tried the one here with no luck. In there I found a nice pair of black calf length boots that had a 1/2" platform and thin block heels, about 4" which had the appearance of varnished laminate wood.

I have been looking for a pair of high heel boots / closed shoes that were not Black Patent, did not have a pointy toe nor stilletto heels, just as a change you understand, so that i would be more at ease to be seen in public.

I asked if they had them in a UK9, which I do ususally fit into (I prefer my heels to be a firm fit) but the girl replied saying that they only generally go up to 8 but only did these up to a 7, not really an option, so i left it there. :(

Anyway, yesterday I couldn`t take it any more, had got my self into such a frenzie that i had to go and buy something to wear. I tried New Look, Evans (plus sizes but no good) then tried The Garage. Joy of joys I found a couple of pairs, I asked again about the black ones but got the same reply but the brown pair I asked after, thay had in an 8. Such was my state of mind that I bought them anyway.

They are ankle/calf length dark caramel brown, 1/2" platform with about a 4" block heel similar to the others, inside zipper and a lovely "square" toe box and stitching that crosses diagonally a couple of times.

I tried them on in the toilets back at the office and to my obvious delight, they fitted :lol: . I had thoughts of making my way home in them all through the afternoon, much to the consiquence of getting very little done.

I was trying to formulate a plan so that i could put them on as close to the office as possible but had to settle with the shopping centre at the top end of town.

So when the time came I made my way into the toilets and changed. My trousers were a little short though and i tried to pull them down as far as possible but they only made it just passed the top of the heel, Oh well here goes. I found that they were no problem to walk in straight away so made my way out into the public, a nerve wracking moment as I`m sure you`ve all experienced at least once.

I passed a number of people along the main concourse and didn`t appear to attract any interest, (I must have been standing at least 6'8" tall!) they made a nice noise but no more that normal male flats with a hard heel. I made my way out of the shopping centre and began up the hill walking towards the oncoming traffic and decided to walk all the way home, all 3 miles or so! Bear in mind I don`t normally walk this in normal shoes or when I`m pissed, so this was a bit of a baptism of fire.

I think I only attracted the attention of one woman who was sitting a bus stop and she appeared to try to be ignoring the fact. I would have been pleased to have had somebody stop me and ask why or something like that. I like the anonymous attention but not that of those I know out of heels.

The biggest test came whan I made it back to the house, my housemate was in then I realised my housemates boyfriend was also about. I`m not too woried about my female housemate catching me in my heels but I`m not as prepared for her boyfriend to catch me. Anyway i shot through the front door and straight up to my room to admire my new purchase. Oh and to sort out the killer blisters I had formed to the balls of my feet. Bu**er, and I`m mountain climbing over the weekend, oh well, the price you pay for your fetish/fashion.

Not sure when I`ll try it next or where but I`ll let you know.

05 Mar 03

sorry see above

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Hey nice one Big D :lol: I find garage shoes to be disappointing size wise, as they never have the styles I want in the right size! Curses! Ah well, I'm leaving purchasing heels for the moment... my money is going elsewhere right now :( Keep it up! SH

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I read your story with sympathy. Wasn't it a fascinating experience in your live? But don't wonder about the blisters on your foot balls - 3 miles at your first excursion on high heels?! BTW: I like mountain tours and climbing too. Relating to climbing enhanced calf muscles are guaranteed advantageous. But I'm very careful with extreme heels. I don't want problems with long hiking tours on flat shoes. micha

The best fashion is your own fashion!

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Nice one, Big D! Three miles for one's first outing is a heck of a long way, tho' - that's got to be quite brave. But well done on the day, anyway. Do Garage have a web site? I'm curious as to what your boots look like!

Obsessed is such a strong word. I prefer to think of myself as "differently enthusiastic"

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Sadly, Garage Street Shoes do not have a website. Unfortunately, there are a lot of really good shoe retailers who have a bad website or no website at all, examples being Garage, Steads, Barratts (I've never been impressed with their online selection compared to that instore), and Brantanos too. Ahh well... You'll just have to take some photos, Dan :lol: SH

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05 Mar 03 Further to below Just remembered, I saw someone who I really didn`t want to see me, my last girlfriend`s housemate, who knows far to many people that I know, drove towards me and drew up at the traffic lights as they changed to red!! my heart went bang and adrenalin shot through me like a bullet, needless to say I made a RUN for it, this was one discovery I wasn`t prepared for nor willing to allow...weak and pathetic I know but people have funny ideas about me without this (little) secret. Anyway, Micha, yes a very fascinating experience, one that I enjoyed abeilt the blisters but I had Compeed to sort them out. I get what you mean about ultra heels but there is also the school of thought that means there will be greater flexibility from flats to Ultraheels. I have to admit, though, my calves have been more painful since the weekend (walked up Ben Nevis 1344m) but that could be because I`ve been very inactive over the winter period. Oh and my bad knee is aleviated when i wear my high heels....is my body telling me something?

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