Shopping for heels: try them on?

[Steve63130]

The first time is the hardest. You really have to believe you're an actor. Relax and do it. Although it's the first time for you, you're not the first guy to shop for women's shoes, and if you get asked if the shoes are for you, don't lie. Tell the truth. They've seen and heard all the excuses, and if you're bold enough to tell them the shoes are for you, you'll probably impress them and they'll strive to give you good service. If they don't, leave immediately. Remember, YOU are the customer. YOU stay in charge. It's YOUR money you're spending, and YOU should get what you want. If it isn't right and doesn't feel perfect, don't buy it. There is a concept called the "wow factor." If you try on shoes in a store and you don't say "wow!" then the shoes aren't for you. Shoes that don't fit well in the store usually don't get better, at least without a lot of stretching or alternations. If you try on a pair and the "wow factor" is high, grab them and don't let go. They're meant for you! So shop around and don't necessarily buy the first shoes you see. Compare them, look around, check out others. Even if you end up buying nothing your first time out, if you learn from the experience and are a more enlightened and smarter customer next time, it will have been well worth it. Do your best and let us know how it turns out! Steve

[HeeledTeen]

Customer to staff wise do higher end shops give better more open service than others

[Curt]

Higher end stores stand by their products and will not discriminate customers. Only buy expensive shoes if you can afford them and love their products. Your main priority is to buy your first pair of heels. If you are too afraid, buy them and try them on at home. You will eventually get the courage to try them on in the store. When I started out, I would find a place that is very busy, that way, everybody else are occupied with whatever they are doing. Don't think about it too much. Some of your favorite rock stars wear heels. Elton john, kiss, motley crue, david bowie, heart(my favorite band) and rush. They probably wore girls clothes too. I took fashion design in school, it was no big deal to wear heels and sexy clothes. The only one that didn't like it was my mom. My exwife always wore mens shoes because of her huge feet. She didn't care what people thought. She knew I wore heels, girls jeans, yoga pants and some womens tops. she didn't care, at least I cared enough about myself to look presentable. The first time shopping is the hardest. But it will be worth it. Let us know how you do, and send some pics of your shoes!

[Rockpup]

Customer to staff wise do higher end shops give better more open service than others

Depends on how desperate they are. Shops like Nordstrom/etc thrive on people expecting an excellent level of service in all situations. I know trying on wedge heel sneakers in Nordstroms has resulted in zero indication that me buying from the womens side was anything other then a normal transaction. My first time the sales girl even brought me 3 other pairs of womens sneakers in my size "just in case"

Now, you get no discount from them, but you are paying for it. Other stores that are good are Ross, Marshalls, and TJ Max. No sales people to deal with, and prices are usually half of full retail.

[SleekHeels]

I was about 17 when I bought my first heels (back in the late 1980's) but it was under the pretence of buying them for someone else. It was only 20 years later (and after discovering this forum) that I openly tried heels on in store. I think attitudes are much more open-minded now, but that doesn't make it any easier for you to take that first step because it's the same "fear within" you want to overcome, and I really admire your integrity for wanting to be true to yourself.

My advice would be to walk into as many different shoe shops/departments as you can and get used to feeling like you belong there (it's paradise, not hell, right!), and definitely wear the clothes you think go with the heels you like. The moment might come to you in a self-service store, or maybe you'll find a friendly sales assistant in which case be nice to them and don't be afraid to take the initiative and ask them "How do I look?" or "What outfits would you wear with these?"... basically enjoy it ! All too soon it'll all be over and you'll be thinking "was that it?". It really does get easier every time.

[HappyinHeels]

HeeledTeen, Owing to time difference you may not see this message in time but I want you to carefully weigh the good advice you have gotten here. Every one of us were at the junction where you now find yourself: Stay on the outside looking in and hoping for something to change OR take charge of your identity, open that door, and walk through it with confidence and dignity. We ALL were certain that someone 6'6" ta;; with a large "MOM" tattoo on their arm would come from the shadows to laugh at us or worse, call his equally hapless buddies to the same. When the feared bogeyman failed to materialize we all then realized "hey, why the hell did I wait so long?" And this is just trying on the shoes. There are many of us who decided "hey, wait a minute. If I wore heels into the store then I am REALLY demanding the world meet me on my terms." Exactly. There are no countries that penalize a man wearing women's shoes except maybe Iran, North Korea, or some of the hellholes of Africa where nobody's free to do anything so quit worrying about it--there is no crime being committed. You have the same consumer rights to buy women's shoes as the women have to buy men's shoes. ANd you always have the right to be treated with dignity at all times. Go out and be counted!!!! HappyinHeels

[HeeledTeen]

Thanks :-)

[Guest]

Higher end stores like dillards, the sales people make commission so They may tend to be more professional and willing to please. I found a sales Woman and try to work only with her. I have even told her the shoes are for me, just So she/they stop making comments towards the shoes being for a woman. Also, buy good shoes. I have gotten to were I can't put on a target or payless shoe. For That matter, rack's quality has gone down too. I think only once in all my years of shoe shopping have I been asked if they were for me. Even to this day I can still get a little nervous, just depends on the enviroment. What has made me kind of angry is when they assume I need mens shoes And try to tell me where they are. I seem to remember one sales person Being quite persistant. I was shopping with my wife one day, I don't remember how it came up, but The sales guy said Monday was the day when the men came in shoe shopping. Said it was less busy. Didn't seem to phase him a bit. But don't let any of that scare you. Just go for it. Do it with confidence.

[HeeledTeen]

Hey guys sorry to bring Bad News :-( , but due to Snowfall the buses weren't running and i couldn't get into Town, still ready to go and do it though!! Once the buses are up and running! But i would l would love to here some heel trying stories and any extra tips until the buses are up again!

[Stilletto2004]

HT I think you're making too much out of this. You can do it. You can. So, well, then... do it! :-)

[HeeledTeen]

I actually agree i think i should bite the bullet and do it! :-)

[Jimnj3]

Yes! Do it! You will find it is no big deal and actually a lot of fun!

[Rick24]

heelsu2 say to them does it matter.

[Curt]

Once you get the heels, you'll be cool like us! Dig it!

[yozz]

I actually agree i think i should bite the bullet and do it! :-)

Actually you will find out that the bullet is made of candy....

Y.

[Maninheels]

Shoes have to fit me correctly or I will not wear them, there are times I see a pair on line and I will make a trip to store just to try them on before I buy them. There are many pairs I have not bought because I tried them on in the store.

[Foxyheels]

Hey guys sorry to bring Bad News :-( , but due to Snowfall the buses weren't running and i couldn't get into Town, still ready to go and do it though!!

Once the buses are up and running!

But i would l would love to here some heel trying stories and any extra tips until the buses are up again!

yes bad timing by the snow although we in the midlands only got a sprinkling, didn't effect us, I guess you are further north.

[SleekHeels]

But i would l would love to here some heel trying stories and any extra tips until the buses are up again!

OK, my first time trying on heels (my avatar boots) in a store went something like this:

Me: "Hi. Do you have these in a size 7 please?"

Sales Assistant: "I'll just check for you."

[A couple of minutes pass and she returns with them in a box, opens the lid and shows them to me]

Me: "Is it ok if for me to try them on?"

SA: "Yes, sure."

[i take a seat and she unfastens the buckles on each boot before handing them to me. She stands a short distance away while I struggle fastening the buckles.]

Me: "I had to pick the fiddly ones." [she smiles. I stand up] "Is there a mirror please?"

SA: "Yes, it's just over there"

[i walk over and check them out in the mirror.]

SA: "How are they?"

Me: "They're great! They probably need a nicer pair of jeans."

[she smiles but doesn't say anything. I walk back over to the seating area and take off the boots.]

SA: "Will you take them?"

Me: "Yes please."

SA: "OK, I'll leave them for you at the cash desk."

Me: "Thank you."

[At the cash desk I pay a different assistant who seems very smiley, the assistant who helped me is nearby.]

Me: "Thanks for being so cool about the boots."

SA: "No problem."

The sales assistant was a young lady, she seemed just as nervous as I was but she was polite and helpful. I wish I'd asked her for fashion advice like how the boots looked with what I was wearing (mens jeans and a brown jacket) or what other outfits I might consider wearing with the boots. There were a couple of other customers in the store while I was trying the boots on, but I didn't get the slightest strange reaction. All in all a totally normal heel shopping experience, I just happen to have a Y chromosome but what's that got to do with anything.

Go into it believing it'll be the experience you want it to be. It might not work out exactly like you expected, but it'll almost certainly go just fine and be a great memory. In the unlikely event they're rude or even just uncooperative or unwelcoming, remember you're not in the wrong, they're in the wrong and they don't deserve your custom. Having said that don't go in all hot-headed looking for a confrontation - just be nice and friendly and polite, have a couple of ice-breaking remarks in mind (like "do you wear heels?" regardless if it's a male or female assistant, or "what outfits would go well with these?") to put them and you at ease.

[Shafted]

HT, read people's personal heeling threads. Mine can be found in my signature.

[Cl0setheels]

Been shopping again with my friend last saturday. Another great experience. I was surprised about how many stores are starting to carry size 42 EU! Had a lot to choose from. I found two pair I really liked at a Newlook store in store. Sat down and tried them on. Most people don't even look. Two ladies where nearby and one also wanted to try some one. So she sat down and looked behind her with a surprised face. Then she turned her head and went about her business. One pair I chose I didn't like anymore when I put them on, the other pair where great so I got them. Always funny to see when the sales person gives to shoes to my female friend after I paid. They don't even assume even though I handed her the shoes.

[RonC]

When I first decided to try on heels in store, I phoned ahead to get an idea of the store's attitude toward guys trying on womens shoes. The first place I called told me it was absoluetely no problem, and as it turned it, it was not! I purchased several pairs of shoes there before they unfortunately went out of business. Calling ahead allows you to retain annonimity, and also alows the store to not be taken by surprise when you ask to try something on. They knew it would happen, just not who it might be. To this day, there are places where I will still call ahead. I ask if they carry my size range, and then if there is any problem with a guy trying on womens shoes in store. Responses have nearly always been positive or at least no worse than neutral. One place did laugh at me over the phone. Needless to say, they never received any of my business.

[Matt010487]

I've not tried any on in a shop before but I really want to. I'm just in the frame of mind where I'm terrified someone I know will see me and I don't want that. I don't have any heels at the moment and this morning I was so close to buying the ones below online: http://www.thehighheelstore.com/bliss-30.html What does everyone think? Instead I decided that as I'm driving a long distance next weekend I'm going to get to a department store for them opening and try a pair on in the store. Ill be looking for someone similar to the ones above. I really hope I can do it. What I really want to do though is try them on, realise that I love them and put my shoes in the box and walk out of the store with them on. That's my target

[Steve63130]

That is a worthy target and a good way to go about it. You'll know by trying it on that it fits and you can walk in it. You might see other shoes you like, too. Shopping in the store is always good. And if you can do it with a companion, it's even better. I've had fun shopping with RadioDave, Bluejay, Johnieheel, and others, and of course my wife. Stay on target! Steve

[SleekHeels]

I like those, they're a very smart and elegant style. The black patent courts I have now are quite similar but they fit too small (I didn't try them on in store, it was about 3 years ago, before I went public with my heeling). I'd recommend you wear an outfit that looks good with the shoes you're looking for (it doesn't have to be "womens" clothes) - an overall look that you like and feel comfortable with will make you feel a little more confident.

[Matt010487]

Yeah I've thought about that but I'm not sure what to wear. I don't really wear women's clothes although would like a pair of skinny jeans to go with them. Any tips on what would look good with them?

[Shafted]

Any tips on what would look good with them?

The black pumps. Yep skinny jeans would work as would a decent pair of dress slacks. If you're fit, consider fitted tee's or other top.

[SleekHeels]

A pair of smart trousers, black or grey, would look great with those black patent courts. On top a shirt under a v-neck jumper (no tie) might be a nice combination. An alternative might be smart-looking jeans with a shirt or tshirt under a blazer. If neither of those are your style, don't force yourself to wear something like that - the whole point is for you to feel comfortable and confident. My rule of thumb for guys clothes is "try to look like a girl who's trying to look like a guy" but then I personally prefer more androgynous styles so that's what works for me.

[RonC]

I was in the Nine West outlet store yesterday. It was a rainy morning, and I got there just after opening. I had the store basically to myself. As this particular store carries size 12 in many styles, I enjoyed trying on numerous pairs of heels. I did not end up buying any - for some reason, I just have not seen much that entices me to buy as of late - but did very much enjoy the opportunity to shop without worring about who else was in the store. Lately, it seems that I'm more enjoying the shopping part of the experience.

[LuvyourShoes]

I think those are very nice shoes Matt! What you wear would depend on your comfort level. You could wear skinny jeans, but if you're not comfortable, start with some boot cut jeans to cover the shoe a bit until you're ready for a full on shoe display. I know how it feels to worry about acquaintances finding out about your love for shoes... but its kind of a risk/reward type of situation. Enjoy yourself!!

[Heelster]

I was in the Nine West outlet store yesterday. It was a rainy morning, and I got there just after opening. I had the store basically to myself. As this particular store carries size 12 in many styles, I enjoyed trying on numerous pairs of heels. I did not end up buying any - for some reason, I just have not seen much that entices me to buy as of late - but did very much enjoy the opportunity to shop without worring about who else was in the store. Lately, it seems that I'm more enjoying the shopping part of the experience.

I was also at a Nine West outlet store. What really surprised me was that although I hadn't been there more than once, and about six month ago, the sales girl remembered me, knew what I had purchased, and even remembered my size - - - damned good memory.

I walked out with a new pair of boots, and a pair of peep toe black patent stiletto heels.