How would you describe yourself?

[Brandy]

Hi,

Why is it that every time a man goes outside of the box he is considerred to be gay. Most people beleive you are gay if you wear skirts, dresses, earrings, nail polish, heels etc. I wouldn't mind if they called us different but the attidude that we are automatically gay makes me angry.

And some info about me. I am a 51 year old male that likes to wear both earrings, skirts and heels. Some days I wear normal male clothes and shoes other days a skirt and the rest male attire and other days the whole shebang. I am however not a cross dresser, I still wan't to be a man wearing female clothing, or male versiosn of female clothers and shoes.

/Stefan

Because it is easier to put a person in a box that has already been defined for them, no thinking required. Many people are very lazy to actually expend time, energy and thought to build a new box is toooo painful for many.

The same laments can be found elsewhere for example; http://onlywhoiam.wordpress.com/2010/01/04/a-totally-random-rant-about-tights/ the rant here is a mother putting her son in tights.

You will find similar comments at skirtcafe.org, leg ware (pantyhose)http://forums.delphiforums.com/LegwearUF/start and in the various threads here.

Most of this is learned at the knees of our parents, and as adults we have not learned to think for ourselves all we do is parrot what was learned. The parroting can be because of fear from external criticism, retribution, or our own internal fears. The internal fears and giving ourselves permission is often the hardest to do. Recognizing that the “box” is truly wrong and trying to do something about it can present real external danger. I’ll leave that to your imagination as the news is full of examples.

Fortunately for most of us in US and Europe the biggest fear is internal. The only way many will learn to accept the new “box” is actually meeting “one of us” and see that we are no different than anyone else. Our choice of attire may not fit the standard “box” but there is nothing wrong with the “new box”.

For me personally I no longer think of “skirts, tights/pantyhose, heels” as “women’s” clothes. It is all just clothes and it is all male when I wear it. This reminds of a true story. I was in a leather store in Nevada City, CA looking at leather jackets. There was a couple in looking at shoes. The wife was trying on boots/shoes and it seemed the women’s sizes were all too small – Not Heels! The store clerk had her try on a pair of men’s and they fit. Her HUSBAND says BUT those are MENS shoes! Her reply was “They will be MINE when I buy and wear them and that will make them women’s”.

[geo]

Right now I only wear them in except a few driving situations let me take them in the car with me.

[yozz]

As happens more frequently, the possibilities do not include my situation. I wear nearly always block heels and conical heels inside, and when I go shopping outside. In discrete mode. Outside that I wear flatter shoes or boots, but because mens shoes do not come in my size (I refuse to go to the section for children) everything is from 'the other part' of the shop. Much nicer selection anyway. I am quite happy about my shoes and boots. Y.

[pr8215]

I wear heels inside when nobody is around and always when driving (I drive alot).

[Martina]

I wear heels at home and in the car. I love high heels

[wood&metal]

I've gone from only wearing them only at home when I joined here, to now wearing them discretely under long jeans, occasionally on the borderline of freestyle..

[Bootking]

I wear heels in and out, openly, whenever possible, especially out of town.

[scrappycoco]

I my self wear skirt, jeans, heels, hose or just what ever I feel like weaing! At the moment I am wearing my Mary Janes with suntan hose and jean's. I wear what ever I want wear I want! If people don't like it oh well. I am who I am and I am not going to change that too make people happy! I can't wait for skirt weather again!

[TooHighJim]

I wear heels at home and occasionally at work. I work in a small office, often alone so it's ok there at times. I would like to wear outside, but havent had the nerve. Someday maybe??

[The Immortal]

I wear whatever suits my taste.

[coolheels]

Like to wear boots under jeans, but only in and around home currently.

[kw2000]

I currently only wear my high heels inside. I hope someday i will gain the courage to wear them outside.

[ClosetHeels]

I voted that I wear inside, and someday outside. Most of my wearing is at night and/or to bed after the family has gone to bed, or during the day when I am off, and everyone else is at work or school. I have, on occasion, worn flat heeled shoes or boots to walk to the end of the block to get my mail, and have driven many times in heels. I used to drive only 5 minutes to get to work, but my new job is a good 20 minutes away now, so I will get to enjoy that a little bit more.

[Claw]

Unfortunately livining in very conservative country does not help with public picture of man wearing any form of feminine footwear. I got few funny looks this year when started wearing rateher unisex looking (or I was just trying to fool me ) loafers with bit softer looking chlotes. I know that sight of me in heels (although I'm wearing them as often as I can while at home or alone in the office) woudl cause some people getting heart attack and some unprovoked violence. But I would love to be able to wear heels openly, even more because they help me relive some strain in my ankles and lower back (had ankle surgery on both legs as kid and have changed ankle geometry so 3 -4 inch heels feels like flats and flas cause ankle pain).

[WhyNotMenToo]

I wear my 3" or 4" heel dress boots all the time here is San Diego,CA and I wear them under the boot so you can see the knee high boots heels all, have never had any thing said.

[Bubba136]

Isn't the weather in San Diego a little warm for boots?

[Bernheels]

I wear my heels all the time at home. When I get up in the morniing there are heels that I wore the night before that I slip on. Then I might change when I get upstairs. Then when I am driving to work I have slip on ankle boots that I drive in the winter. When I get home I slip into something comfortable and of coarse have another pair of heels on. My wife is OK with this and always says - slip into your heels baby. She is the best.

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r173/bernheels/Lots%20of%20heels/SAM_0296Medium.jpg

These are just some of the heel that I wear.

Bernheels

[legs777777]

Really nice selection of heels you have there. love your taste.

[jay jay]

I wear my heels all the time at home. When I get up in the morniing there are heels that I wore the night before that I slip on. Then I might change when I get upstairs. Then when I am driving to work I have slip on ankle boots that I drive in the winter. When I get home I slip into something comfortable and of coarse have another pair of heels on. My wife is OK with this and always says - slip into your heels baby. She is the best.

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r173/bernheels/Lots%20of%20heels/SAM_0296Medium.jpg

These are just some of the heel that I wear.

Bernheels

What a lovely collection . I have some of them.

[jay jay]

I wear the very high one's inside ( Pleasers indulge 543 and have a few 3" ones I wear outside under my jeans with my fine lady. I like to drive with what ever I feel comfortable with.

[Guest]

Certainly an old poll that I/we missed

I wear heels all the time, but prefer to be discrete about it.

As much as I can and not so discrete as the day goes by.

Depending on how much walking depends on the height/shoe.

Block heels for "formal" events otherwise whatever I feel like.

Al

[UpBy5]

I wear my heels all the time at home. My wife is OK with this and always says - slip into your heels baby. She is the best.

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r173/bernheels/Lots%20of%20heels/SAM_0296Medium.jpg

Bernheels

Bernheels, you've gotta' be one of the half-dozen or so luckiest guys on the planet! Cherish that lady!

UpBy5

[kikepa]

"I wear heels all the time, but prefer to be descrete about it." I'd love to say that, but I'm just one level away. Too many factors.

[jerbare]

I voted maybe outside some time but have been out in public to supper, Walmart even work several times this year. Put on a new pair of 3" boots that my wife has never seen me wear before and the 2 of us went to work together once this week. She said that she liked it because how tall i was.