Fog Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 I was thinking about this as I posted in the thighboot thread. My thoughts went along these lines. Wearing something as noticeable as thighboots in public sorts out small minded conservative biggots from the liberal broad minded people who I want to associate with. Following on from that thought, I mused that the reason that Mrs F doesn't want me to wear heels in our home town is that people will be shocked, think I'm a weirdo and that we'll loose friends. I'm sure I would loose some friends, but I'm not convinced that would be a wholely bad thing. I'd be interested in your experiences of acceptance or rejection from friends. (I'm not talking about partners, that's been covered in many other places here). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sscotty727 Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 My wife was less for the idea of me wearing heels before, but then she confessed a while ago it was because she was worried for me on how others would view me. I told her I didn't care what others thought of me and she said fine then (of course certain types of heels would be unacceptable to her like thin heels). Anway, so far no one has treated me different at all. And even if they do, I am prepared with the "it's for medical reason, I have a bad back and wearing the heels alleviates the pain". Maybe you could use that excuse and wear less feminine heels in your home area and save the others for when your away? You can offer her that suggestion and see how she feels about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey S. Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Hi! I guess I need to spend my two cents here... ... "it's for medical reason, I have a bad back and wearing the heels alleviates the pain". ... In my case I wouldn't say it's an excuse - it's really so - it eases back pain a lot!!! Although not prescribed I found that when monotonously walking for long distances and standing in line for some time it felt a lot better if higher heels are worn. CU! -Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sscotty727 Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Hi! I guess I need to spend my two cents here... In my case I wouldn't say it's an excuse - it's really so - it eases back pain a lot!!! Although not prescribed I found that it felt a lot better when walking long distances and standing in line or so for some time wearing higher heels than doing this in flat shoes. CU! -Mike Mike, Same as you, it also helps my back (I actually DO have a very bad back as well). That isn't the primary reason for wearing heels, it's more like a positive side effect, BUT for situations like work and family who might ever question as to why I am wearing heels, my back issues will be the primary reason Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeelD Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 No, heel wearing hasn't lost me friends. But that's probably beacause they don't know about it. Heel wearing has in fact made me some new friends. Heel-D - Freestyling since 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey S. Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Hi! However, doing step-aerobics, for example, is fine, even if it lasts for 1 1/2 hour and it's done usually in some sort of flat-heeled trainers. But I got hold of some dance-aerobic-sneakers which provide a one inch heel. @sscotty727: BTW, sorry that the quote doesn't match my post anymore but I thought the grammar I used sucked in the first place. CU! -Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zero Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 haven't lost any friends. I can only make new friends and I mostly use my filter system to get new friends who are open minded. Those who chose to depart me, are simply not worth my time. A little crazyness has filled my spirit with joy, and sharing that is like being an example to those who wish to do the same in their way: love the old hippie days Though my mother won't side with me when going onto the streets with her me wearing my heels. On accident moments in the first days of wearing heels openly in public I did, and she simply explained to me that she doesn't wan't to get noticed by familiar people. After arguing a little with her I threw my biggest mind breaking question: Who should feel more ashamed? Me or you? and... this question was a tricky one since I didn't intend to force her to answer this multiple question by its rules... and she didn't. She said, neither of us should be ashamed for the things we love to do as long as it doesn't harm others and yourself. She was absolutely correct and I rewarded her with a hug and promised her out of respect to not wear heels in public when she's near. Since that is only a family matter, friends are always different from family... still my 'half-bloodlined' aunt fully supports me for doing the weirdest hippie things, even if it includes female expression (no intensions to be one fully, no proxy breasts for me!) so I'll go explain her about Visual Kei (Japanese j-rock style) next time I see her. Friends come and go, as I accepted that remark from a great philosopher, but always wear sunscreen! hehe but still there is one friend of mine who's walking around with the idea that female expressions among men is just an excluded issue meant for actors only. However, by carefully explaining my drive to him, I might manage to keep him within the circle of friends. Still I can never prove to him the weirdest thing on earth since his (Nick is his name) mind is full of lunatic ideas and a pile of chaotic experiences that made him as he is today. To manage the maintainance of our friendship, I simply have to invite him over to my place so he can discover the black pumps that I also put on the desk's special place as decoration. If he asks what my obsession with those are, I'd simply say that it's cultural. Aside all that I'll just see what happens. If all is lost as it may seem, in a cruel endless game, I'd rather live to redeem, than to die in shame! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danielinheels Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 I don't think it has lost me friends, though I think it could. Then again, it has gained me a few people with whom I could connect, though; mainly people who work at shoe stores who I don't/wouldn't see otherwise. All of this is essentially cross-cancelled by the fact that I don't have any heels now, and when I did, I only wore them around 2 or 3 people who knew I had them. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmc Posted March 31, 2006 Share Posted March 31, 2006 Seems to me that "friends" who cannot deal with your heel-wearing are not really friends at all. Have a happy time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kobo Posted March 31, 2006 Share Posted March 31, 2006 in my case I got to know a lot new friends, and cant say lost any, because they (old friends) simply don’t know all about me. But all new friends, whom I met in my outfit, are most valuable as I don’t have to pretend, hide or be ashamed being with them. They accept me, and I trust them. actually i found somethig more then friendship about old friends, I just don’t spend much time with them, they are from my hometown, mostly. it is just impossible to show myself in front of them in female shoes, female cloths, with painted nails…. and as they don’t know me wholly it is hard to be close friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shoe Posted March 31, 2006 Share Posted March 31, 2006 I too have made some very good friends since wearing heels in public, mostly from the heelmeets. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fog Posted April 1, 2006 Author Share Posted April 1, 2006 Thanks for your responses. I'm just pondering the idea of how far to take heel wearing. It's one thing to perhaps wear heels in public where you don't expect to meet anyone you know, a far different thing to chat to your neighbours wearing heels. I have to take my partner's view into account as if people she considers "our" friends ditch me, it affects her. Zero: I like your idea of filter system, I've been thinking along the same lines. I suppose reaching the age of 50 and finding out I've got high cholesterol, and knowing my dad died at 58 is making me think about how I want to live my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heelme Posted April 1, 2006 Share Posted April 1, 2006 fogborkenvv: Love the sig pic, btw. Those yours and where'd you get them? I have no doubt that I would lose an acquaintance or two, but not friends. My definition of friendship may differ from others. I put weight to friendship. My friends know they can count on me and that I'd go the extra mile for them. They also know I have an open mind. I expect the no less. Otherwise, they were not really friends from the start. I won't miss them. I'm also pushing toward the half century mark and though I don't expect to expire anytime soon, I feel that being happy is increasingly important to me and heels are one form of happiness I expect to exploit for some time to come. Sometimes I think people worry too much about what others think. Since I have a relatively private form of expression or desire, I often wonder about what my friends or others might be into. Brings smiles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LthrRam Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Hi everybody, As to my two cents, I have not lost any friends. I am a gay male in a ten year monogomus relationship. We own the local GLBT department store in town and are considered to be leaders of our community. My mate does not mind me wearing my thighhigh hiheeled boots at home but would rather I did not wear them "out". I do however wear womens cowgirl boots out and they have just as high a heel at 4 inches. I have never had anyone say a word in any unkind fashion only compliments. Yes a few people sometimes look disapproving but I have noticed they quickly change when they see that it does not affect me or my attitude. My mate was a little concerned when I first approached the subject. He wanted to know if I wanted to be a crossdresser/transgender or a dragqueen. But when I explained I just liked heels he quickly got use to it. Now if I can only get him in a pair of thighhigh boots! Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr1819 Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 Yes, I've lost friends, including my very best one. Some say that if she was more open-minded we'd still be together, but that's not there was to it. Still, the heels didn't help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexyplatforms Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 I've found that, on many occasions, heel wearing has actually been helpful in making friendships! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
balacau Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 I can answer a definite yes to that question, I've lost many friends, but its not quite as straightforward as that; and is probably more my fault than not... Here is my story :sleeping: During the second year of high school I began to get a bit more friendly with one of my teachers and she was a pretty consistent wearer of knee length boots. I found myself admiring these very often and was pretty sure that I should say something but just not quite sure of how to break the ice and hit on the subject. Eventually when I was studying during a lunch break, she gave me that chance by dropping into the room to prepare some notes for the next class and I just dropped it into the conversation. He response was friendly, and I got a good view of her boots which had me almost realing! I remember them perfectly really. Knee length glossy (but not patent), with a short about 1 1/2" block heel, and a gold bar feature at about foot height. This was wonderful to me as I figured she might wear them more often........unfortunately someone else must have overheard the conversation and possibly one of the most depressing periods of my life began. The next day some complete stranger came up to me and asked if I was gay. High schools arent exactly the most nice places to be around most of the time, so I shot her an icy look and said no. After about 12 or more peope asking the same thing I was beginning to think someone was spreading rumours about me. Never did find out just who it was who kick started the whole thing (just as well for their sake perhaps) but to cut a long story short; I went into highschool with 14 friends, and came out with 2. Since then I've been very quiet on the subject of boots, although there are a few close friends who know that I love that type of footwear, that I have several pairs and that I have a serious thing about what many term as "hooker boots", ie: platforms with chunky heels etc. Its little wonder that I couldnt wait to leave high school :rofl: Was it my fault? Most likely it was, sometimes I wonder if I hadve kept my mouth shut, would things have been different? I learned the truth a long time ago, being afraid of the dark is what keeps most of us alive... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 Was it my fault? Most likely it was, sometimes I wonder if I hadve kept my mouth shut, would things have been different? Nope it was not your fault and no keeping your mouth shut would not halved changed any thing one way or the other. Hello, my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee! 👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
balacau Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 Well getting a good look at those boots (well fitting boots too!) was worth alot of agro, just not sure if it was worth 3 years of it! Its probably the main reason why I don't compliment women more on their boots, because subconsciously I fear the same thing might happen again? The mind works in strange ways! I learned the truth a long time ago, being afraid of the dark is what keeps most of us alive... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 No, I think you just don't want to look like a pervert, how ever women love to hear complements, just don't focus on the shoes to much. Hello, my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee! 👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kneehighs Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 No, I think you just don't want to look like a pervert, how ever women love to hear complements, just don't focus on the shoes to much. Ain't that the truth. "Those are some amazing boots. They color coordinate will with your (top, skirt, scarf)." Her, "thanks" "I like the gold buckle on there (point n flirt), where did you get them?" Her "Harvey Nichols...ON SALE!" "So your a bargain hunter, eh?" ...blah, blah, blah.... Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
balacau Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Almost wish I had asked that! With a low sturdy heel like those, it would have made a good start getting me used to heels, plus they were quite classy boots too! Would have been great to find a pair similar, but there is pretty well no hope of getting them now! I learned the truth a long time ago, being afraid of the dark is what keeps most of us alive... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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