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You know Bubba, I shudder to think what you and your wife would drop in a night here. $400 dinner at Daniel $300 Broadway show $50 cab fares wash-rinse-repeat....get's pretty expensive when you calculate the total cost per month. And don't forget, that women use men too! While I did meet some amazing people in Stockholm, I did have one model ask me to buy her a new dress. Contextually, I had offered her a lunch (no big deal, kind gesture). But she asked about a dress? hahahaha, a laughed the whole time I was checking my pockets for my credit card. It's like if you look over at them in the middle of the night, they are rolling their head left and right, sleep talking with their hand out, "more, more...I want more" And if it's not money, it's status. A lot of girls are "social climbers"....especially during fashion week when you're working for the worlds most powerful fashion site. During fashion week, they are your best friend. Once it's over, regardless of how much you may have done for their career in the meantime, you don't exist. The street goes both ways...

Feminine Style .  Masculine Soul.  Skin In The Game.

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KH, my mother's family lived on the Chessepeak Bay on Maryland's upper peninsula. My Grandfather owned and operated his family's shipping business with the main office in Baltimore. His company owned an apartment in New York where he stayed when he was there on business or on holiday. We used to go to NYC every Thanksgiving, when we were living in this country, for the parade and to do our Christmas shopping. We would stay there for a week or so each year. It was a family tradition that we kept until just a few years ago when we (the company) sold the apartment because we no longer had an office near the port of new york. We (me and my wife) haven't been to New York since 2004. So, I am familiar with "life" in the big city.....and the cost of living in and around that area. And, you are right, it is expensive. As for people being "gold diggers' and using others for their own gain, I know all about that. However, these days I don't have to worry about people hitting on me for introductions or influence because, while I do know many influential people in the business, government and political world, my influence isn't what it used to be. But. I still tend to give people the benefit of the doubt --- and I didn't ever mind lending a helping hand to someone that I judged worthy of it and that sincerely appreciated my help and friendship. Still don't. But then, I've never "ran" with a crowd where you had to be particularlly "watchful of your back" or constantly evaluating someone to ascertain exactly "their purpose" in making my acquaintence. But at 53 (I'm probably almost twice your age (well, maybe not quite)) and I've ilved in many different places and traveled many miles around the world since the begining. So, while you are still trying to climb the road to fulfilling your dreams, I've reached the plateau where I am kinda happpy with what I have..... I work when I want to and don't work when I don't want to. I'll leave the "sweat work" to you younger guys. These days, there's even more windmills out there that need jousting. So, get busy! I wish you well and all of the success you desire. And, while you are doing your thing, I'll be watching the grass and my grandchildren growing.....life's good if you don't loose your prespective, ;)

Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.

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Reading peoples stories and background on this site brings me to the conclusion that the high heel bug can catch people from very different backgrounds, social status etc. It makes you wonder how many "in the closet" high heeler men are out there. 250 a night? Damn! NY (Manhattan) is one expensive place. Is there anything cheap there? Rent costs a fortune (not to say buying/owning an apartment), cabs are expensive, I guess most people eat out in restaurants so that's not cheap either, shopping, going out.... I hope you receive a nice allowance from your company kneehighs for all those social evenings and dates, at least until you start earning the big bucks (if you haven't started earning 6 figures+ yet). I'm curious though, with the dating scene in Manhattan, do people actually form lasting relationships or is it an endless rush from one date to the other and a plethora of one night stands? Do you actually see yourself going out steady with one of these women who accepts your fashion style or are you still "wine tasting" lol? Personally, I'd still be tasting haha, especially if I were the one hanging out with models. What's a models shelf life these days?

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Actually, I'm just part of New York city's middle class (economically). As far as personal relations go here, people are generally free to live whatever marital status they want at any age with minimal professional or social repurcussions. It's not uncommon to meet a single 55 year old man living the dream life of a bachelor. This standard in my experience applies to women too as I've personally met more than a few single professional 40 somethings. I think individual experiences may differ. Now back to work...

Feminine Style .  Masculine Soul.  Skin In The Game.

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....

I hope you receive a nice allowance from your company kneehighs for all those social evenings and dates, at least until you start earning the big bucks (if you haven't started earning 6 figures+ yet).

....

6 figures is barely middle class by New York Standards. Upper class here? I went on a date with a girl whose family bought her a condo on Park Avenue South. When they went to Europe, they used their private jet. Try looking up Dash Snow. That's another perfect example. That type of wealth is very common here. But finding someone with a great wealth and an equally great attitude towards others less fortunate is more rare, and a treat worth recalling.

Anyhow, back to heels!!

Just saying.

Feminine Style .  Masculine Soul.  Skin In The Game.

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There was an interesting article in the NYT a few months ago titled "well YOU try to live on $500k in this town". It was in the midst of the bonuses scandal when AIG and a few big banks were after the bailout billions. I found it very amusing.

Fact is that in Europe in many places 20kEUR makes you pretty poor, but at, say, 50kEUR lifts you into the well-off bracket. That does not include London, Zürich, Luxemburg, Switzerland, much of the Nordics and a few other pockets, but generally it holds. In the NY area though, $30k makes you pretty poor as well but $100k does not make you rich. Unless you are pocketing hundreds you won't stand out, so the spread is much wider. Steep progressive taxation in much of Europe stimulates this.

The spending structure here in the NY area is totally different, and having moved around the world a few times I felt it first hand. NYC is different somehow, it is hard to pinpoint a few key causes.

It is interesting that KH mentions

finding someone with a great wealth and an equally great attitude towards others less fortunate is more rare

as quite many New Yorkers actually have not inherited their relative wealth, but have earned it. You would expect a certain respectful attitude towards the ones who are working on it.

But perspectives change. In Europe, you don't blink an eye filling up your car for $100, but paying $20 for parking would cause an outrage, while I parked off 5th ave yesterday for 2h and it set me back $45 without the tip, and it didn't make me lift an eyelid. But with rising gas prices, my car takes $50 of gas again, and man, does it make me angry!

What's all the fuss about?

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There was an interesting article in the NYT a few months ago titled "well YOU try to live on $500k in this town". .....

Fact is that in Europe in many places 20kEUR makes you pretty poor, but at, say, 50kEUR lifts you into the well-off bracket. That does not include London, Zürich, Luxemburg, Switzerland, much of the Nordics and a few other pockets, but generally it holds. In the NY area though, $30k makes you pretty poor as well but $100k does not make you rich. Unless you are pocketing hundreds you won't stand out, so the spread is much wider....

Ugh! I need to go to bed, but alas, I was "partying" ala networking at the Soho Grand tonight.

Anyhow, Arctic, I love how articulate you are! You write so well and don't even deny it...

That NYT article IS sooo true! What's considerably topical to this discussion is the quote, "But in New York, where a new study from the Center for an Urban Future, a nonprofit research group in Manhattan, estimates it takes $123,322 to enjoy the same middle-class life as someone earning $50,000 in Houston" Sooo, so true!

And I liked the following quote about social circle acceptance too, "“People inherently understand that if they are going to get ahead in whatever corporate culture they are involved in, they need to take on the appurtenances of what defines that culture,” she said. “So if you are in a culture where spending a lot of money is a sign of success, it’s like the same thing that goes back to high school peer pressure. It’s about fitting in." Who said peer pressure disappeared after high school?

Time for bed! Oh, and you should've seen the heels at the Soho Grand tonight! Delicious!

Feminine Style .  Masculine Soul.  Skin In The Game.

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Naturally when I mentioned the 6 figure salary, I was thinking about a higher end salary, not 100+, more like 500+ lol. There's no way that you'd be considered lower upper class in Manhattan with anything less than 1 million a year. Here in Edmonton I could live comfortably with 100K a year. In most parts of the world I'd be considered upper class with a wage like that. Funny how that works. Is it frustrating to live/work in a place where money not only talks but so many people have astronomical amounts of it? I guess women automatically expect the men living/working in Manhattan to be wealthy. Back to topic kneehighs. Since you're a photographer working for a very respected establishment, do you bring your camera with you when going out? If you do, it would be great if you could capture some of these gorgeous women in gorgeous heels. I cursed myself for not bringing my camera with me yesterday while going out to a trendy lounge in Edmonton last night. Dress code was enforced so men had to dress sharp. Most women wore evening dresses/short skirts. 90+ percent were in heels, the majority of those were stilettos. Why do women wear stiletto pointed toe pumps that look like a size or two too large? I've seen many women with beautiful shoes yet the gap between the back of the foot to the back of the shoes was huge.

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...

Is it frustrating to live/work in a place where money not only talks but so many people have astronomical amounts of it? I guess women automatically expect the men living/working in Manhattan to be wealthy.

No, you become desensitized to it. Frankly, I could care less about how much money other people make or have. Heck, most of the time I don't even think about how much I have.

For a lot of New Yorkers, it's the thrill of the playing the game that keeps them ticking. Just get in the game and you'll be accepted regardless of whatever socio-economic class you belong to.

As far as the ladies go, even if they assume all men have wealth (which they don't), when you are busy showing them the best time they've ever had , laughing, flirting, teasing, talking, connecting, and can show them that you live comfortably--wealth doesn't matter. Wealth may open doors for men like beauty does for women, but it doesn't keep the door from closing shut.

Back to topic kneehighs. Since you're a photographer working for a very respected establishment, do you bring your camera with you when going out? If you do, it would be great if you could capture some of these gorgeous women in gorgeous heels.

99.99% of the clubs I go to don't allow camera's inside. They do it to entice the A, B, and C list celebrities to come and party in peace, absent the presence of paparazzi and press. (it also protects the underground drug culture...there was a club in the West Village called The Beatrice Inn that recently closed down. It was notoriously difficult to get into--not even money could buy you past the bouncers. Why? Because the club had an "in house" drug dealer. It was so obvious. The ladies decked out in Balenciaga and Chanel. The dude selling slumped like a beached whale on the leather recliner at the front in baggy jeans with the waist down to his knees, NY Yankees cap, and Neon hued high top Nike's...5 models going into the bathroom at the same time and spending ten minutes in there. The club owner going to the kitchen with his gang....) google it if you don't believe me.

Now back to heeling. All this money talk is making me ill.

Feminine Style .  Masculine Soul.  Skin In The Game.

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Hmmmm! It takes money to "get" the finer things in life....so they tell me! By the way, I read an article today that reported Tokyo to be the most expensive city on the earth. Much more expensive than New York City. So, KH, if you happen to get an photographic assignment to Tokyo, be sure to take at least three suitcases. One for your camera equipment and clothing and two to carry your money. ;):thumbsup:;):lmao::penitent:

Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.

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Hmmm. I was in Tokyo a couple of months ago and don't recall easily spending 250 dollars a night while going out (excluding the hotel room price). I would have spent close to that amount per day as a tourist but not in a few hours going out for drinks/dancing. A decent hotel (3-4 stars) in the good spots in Tokyo would cost about 200-250 dollars US a night (I split the price with the person I went on the trip with). I've eaten well with a 50 dollar daily budget. The train system is so efficient you don't need taxis although if you go out I'd say a ride from one end of downtown to the other would cost around 20 dollars. A club would cost around 20-30 dollars to get in. Alcohol was 30-50 percent cheaper than it is here in Canada so drinks cost less. There is no tipping in Japan so that saves you 15-20 percent. Tokyo is definitely not cheap but I didn't find it outrageously expensive as some articles claim it to be.

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For anyone that is interested, here are the top 5 most expensive cities to live in according to Mercer's 2009 Worldwide Cost of Living survey released on July 8th, 2009.

World's Top Five Most Expensive Cities To Live

1. Tokyo, Japan

2. Osaka, Japan

3. Moscow, Russia

4. Geneva, Switzerland

5. Hong Kong

The article appeared on Yahoo News, Real Estate yesterday. The entire article, and list of the top 20, written by Sarah Lynch, forbes.com. can be read at Most Expensive Cities

Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.

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Kneehighs:-) After discussing the costs of entertainment from place to place around the world, it still appears to me that you are very successful in what you have set your sights on and seem to be achieving it to your liking, and wearing heels while doing so. Congrats! Cheers--- Dawn HH

High Heeled Boots Forever!

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Tonight's plan: Dinner in Tribeca at Industria Argentina, malbec, chorizo, baked provoleta, entrana skirt steak, 4.5 inch Nine West bootie heels and the grey mini dress I posted about in the fashion pics section last week. Lounge life at the Tribeca Grand. Electro, and The Golden Filter Live! Another club stop in Brooklyn if all works out as planned

Feminine Style .  Masculine Soul.  Skin In The Game.

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Ahh, it was a good time, but it's time to move on. It was a Day 2, and things about this girl that I didn't realize on Day 1 came out on Day 2: 1. she has zero fashion sense--she wore this faded black t-shirt with a gold tiger on it (think metal head) and rolled up the SHORT sleeves a bit on the side. No blazer, no jewelry to dress it up. It looked really tacky at the "upscale" restaurant and at the Tribeca Grand--both venues where appropriate fashionable dress code is the expectation. We weren't going to a music festival or rock concert! The first time out she wore this hideous baby doll dress with flip flops too. ugh. She also has this annoying layer of peach fuzz facial hair ;)...a pet peeve turn off of mine. 2. personality wise, she's a Thinker and therefore takes an objective approach to her decision making. Personally, I prefer Feelers, which balance out my objectivity resulting in better chemistry. Couple that objectivity with her "rough around the edges" mannerisms and. Well. you know. time to move on.

Feminine Style .  Masculine Soul.  Skin In The Game.

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Ahh, it was a good time, but it's time to move on. It was a Day 2, and things about this girl that I didn't realize on Day 1 came out on Day 2:

1. she has zero fashion sense--she wore this faded black t-shirt with a gold tiger on it (think metal head) and rolled up the SHORT sleeves a bit on the side. No blazer, no jewelry to dress it up. It looked really tacky at the "upscale" restaurant and at the Tribeca Grand--both venues where appropriate fashionable dress code is the expectation. We weren't going to a music festival or rock concert! The first time out she wore this hideous baby doll dress with flip flops too. ugh. She also has this annoying layer of peach fuzz facial hair ;)...a pet peeve turn off of mine.

2. personality wise, she's a Thinker and therefore takes an objective approach to her decision making. Personally, I prefer Feelers, which balance out my objectivity resulting in better chemistry. Couple that objectivity with her "rough around the edges" mannerisms and. Well. you know. time to move on.

lol, on this occassion its a case of "Sorry love, its not me, its you...." ;)

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Ahh, it was a good time, but it's time to move on. It was a Day 2, and things about this girl that I didn't realize on Day 1 came out on Day 2:

1. she has zero fashion sense--she wore this faded black t-shirt with a gold tiger on it (think metal head) and rolled up the SHORT sleeves a bit on the side. No blazer, no jewelry to dress it up. It looked really tacky at the "upscale" restaurant and at the Tribeca Grand--both venues where appropriate fashionable dress code is the expectation. We weren't going to a music festival or rock concert! The first time out she wore this hideous baby doll dress with flip flops too. ugh. She also has this annoying layer of peach fuzz facial hair ;)...a pet peeve turn off of mine.

2. personality wise, she's a Thinker and therefore takes an objective approach to her decision making. Personally, I prefer Feelers, which balance out my objectivity resulting in better chemistry. Couple that objectivity with her "rough around the edges" mannerisms and. Well. you know. time to move on.

"Off with her head then" lol

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Like the old saying goes....."if the shoe doesn't fit, don't buy it...." While some pairs might be "stretched" to size, they are not really comfortable. Best just to leave them on the shelf for another customer. ;)

Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.

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...personality wise, she's a Thinker and therefore takes an objective approach to her decision making. Personally, I prefer Feelers, which balance out my objectivity resulting in better chemistry. Couple that objectivity with her "rough around the edges" mannerisms and. Well. you know. time to move on...

Kneehighs, I think a woman with facial hair would transcend "pet peeve," for you...but tactfully put anyway.

As for the thinker/feeler, you wouldn't be dropping the old Myers Briggs types here would you? If so, the good thing is that about 70% of women usually come out as feelers. Makes the odds better...

As I have found on many occasions, day 2 is so often different than day 1...

Style is built from the ground up!

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The most beautiful girl I know also has peach fuzz on her arms and face, but it's really more than peach fuzz - it's long but almost invisible unless in silhouette. I tend to ignore it as she is so gorgeous otherwise, not that it does me any good. It's a professional relationship, though we are friends to a greater rather than lesser extent. She also likes shoes and heels, though I almost never see her in heels except for dance shoes (dance partner).

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...

As for the thinker/feeler, you wouldn't be dropping the old Myers Briggs types here would you? If so, the good thing is that about 70% of women usually come out as feelers. Makes the odds better...

Yes, that's exactly it. It's my favorite tool for "cold reading" girls and therefore demonstrating authority and value in their world. I can usually discern someone's MBTI accurately within an hour. In the cold read, I go into the generalities that make up the SP, NT, SJ, or NF combo.

Had another date tonight with a Manhattan Attorney. Forgot how much I enjoy the company of highly educated women. Personally, I believe there's a correlation between high levels of formal education and tolerance if not outright support for men in heels. Not only was she attractive, socially calibrated, and dressed appropriately, but she was entertaining too! Oddly enough, I had a run in with the girl from last night going to meet this girl tonight! haha, she looked hideous as usual, only this time she was wearing a camflouge t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops. Yeah, okay, that's a sexy outfit for a stroll through the High Line Park or a Sunday night in the Meat Packing District. ;) puhleeez

Tonight's date consisted of 6 appetizers, caipirinhas in the sunset of the High Line Park and a stroll to the new Jane Hotel Lounge for drinks. It's funny how on the drink menu there, they offer the Jane Hotel Room. :penitent: Guess it's for those that really want to live in the heat of the moment. Of course I wore my 4.5" Nine West heels, UO skinny jeans, Calvin Klein satin blazer, and a white Women's Zara shirt. The one thing I'm personally proud for tonight was not that I wore heels, but that I really, carefully observed this girls mannerisms like Abraham Maslow on speed. I have her nervous nose scratch down to a science, playfully teased her about it tonight, and now have an inside joke with her on it that I can refer back to later. A useful tool for re-installing attraction at a later date. With the proper facial gesture, I'll just be able to scratch my nose without saying anything and make her feel all those great feelings again. :penitent: My dream is to learn how to re-install attraction by clicking a stiletto heel on the pavement. ;)

I'm sure someone here is wondering if I told her about my heels. Again, the answer is a flat, resounding "no". In fact, she didn't notice until about 4 hours into the date. I figured this was going to happen. And when she finally did notice, it was no big deal. I didn't have to explain my sexual orientation, my non desire to have sexual re-assignment surgery and double D breast enhancements (though if I was going to be a woman, I'd want to be Pamela Anderson in a heartbeat...I've always wondered what it'd be like to balance around knockers like hers on spindle thin legs and stilettos), that I wasn't a full out crossdresser. i.e. it would have been more socially akward for me to carry on about it.

When we left, I sat in the main lounge and waited for her to finish in the restroom. Some blonde girl walked by and said, "my favorite shoes" and pointed at mine. When I walked out with my date, she kept staring, even though she was with another man.

fun, fun.

Feminine Style .  Masculine Soul.  Skin In The Game.

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Yes, that's exactly it. It's my favorite tool for "cold reading" girls and therefore demonstrating authority and value in their world. I can usually discern someone's MBTI accurately within an hour. In the cold read, I go into the generalities that make up the SP, NT, SJ, or NF combo.

I fellow member of the "cult of personality", huh? I actually went to a week long training about ten years ago to become qualified to administer and intrepret MBTIs. I have done over 2000 assessments in over 400 sessions since then. I too am pretty good at quicky determining type and find it useful and fun. The four temperments you discuss are a pretty quick way to sum up about anybody and for me it really can help in relating to people in general.

I also see that you dropped Maslow latter in your post. Here's a question - do you think that people are more fashion conscience as they approach self actualization? What has always struck me as funny is the idea of "dressing for success." This always made me think that people who dress for sucess or to impress, are lower on the heiracy of needs, still looking for something to meet a love or esteem need, where as more self actualized people move into the realm of "style" which I define as more of a personal statement and not tied to the more base needs described by Maslow.

...Personally, I believe there's a correlation between high levels of formal education and tolerance if not outright support for men in heels...

I think there is a correlation between educated people and tolerance in general. Though I have come to discover that people's education level does not directly correlate to the amount of schooling they have. I work with people with a lot of education who would freak if they ever saw any man in heels. However, Lincoln had little formal education, but as an adult taught himself geometry from reading all six volumes of Euclid. I think education can really open people up, but they have to be willing to go the rest of the way.

You pose some really good hypothesizes in this post and described a pretty wonderful night out! What fun!

Style is built from the ground up!

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....

I also see that you dropped Maslow latter in your post. Here's a question - do you think that people are more fashion conscience as they approach self actualization? What has always struck me as funny is the idea of "dressing for success." This always made me think that people who dress for sucess or to impress, are lower on the heiracy of needs, still looking for something to meet a love or esteem need, where as more self actualized people move into the realm of "style" which I define as more of a personal statement and not tied to the more base needs described by Maslow.

Never really thought about it to be honest, but for me fashion and style while intellectually separate ideas, are actually deeply intertwined ideas which reinforce each other in practice. One discovers a relatively consistent dress code they feel best about over time (style) and subtly modifies that dress code by adding from the current trends (fashion). I wear women's blazers for instance. That's my consistent "style". Zara now sells women's blazers with built in pre-rolled up sleeves (fashion).

Dressing for success is actually thrilling and in my opinion, a version of self-actualization, because being well dresssed is a principle based action for me. It's about being ready for that "date with destiny". As Coco Chanel so aptly put, "I don't understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little - if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, maybe that's the day she has a date with destiny. And it's best to be as pretty as possible for destiny." I can see your point thought about creative self expression and wearing heels relating to self actualization.

I think there is a correlation between educated people and tolerance in general. Though I have come to discover that people's education level does not directly correlate to the amount of schooling they have. I work with people with a lot of education who would freak if they ever saw any man in heels. However, Lincoln had little formal education, but as an adult taught himself geometry from reading all six volumes of Euclid. I think education can really open people up, but they have to be willing to go the rest of the way.

You pose some really good hypothesizes in this post and described a pretty wonderful night out! What fun!

Of course, I wasn't implying formal education was sufficient in it of itself to correlate with acceptance, nor did I mean to imply that formal education was a necessary route to achieve education either.

Feminine Style .  Masculine Soul.  Skin In The Game.

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Dressing for success is actually thrilling and in my opinion, a version of self-actualization, because being well dresssed is a principle based action for me. It's about being ready for that "date with destiny". As Coco Chanel so aptly put, "I don't understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little - if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, maybe that's the day she has a date with destiny. And it's best to be as pretty as possible for destiny." I can see your point thought about creative self expression and wearing heels relating to self actualization.

to break the rules, you have to know the rules.

i dont´t think that "men & heels" is the problem. i belive it is the way these men are presenting their passion. what is "well dressed?" in some cases the "uniform of mainstream", in other cases the "going for the extra mile". so this leads to the point where you have to ask yourself: on which stage am i acting?

imagine: studio 54. a stylish skinny outfit and state of the art heels mixed with the right body and attitude...... no problem. a gothic party. all girls trying to impress. a guy in heels mixed with a gender-crossing style...... no problem.

now: daily business. adding some pink 5 inch pink heels to your 15 years old grey suit.... ? going to a local hillbillie party and adding some overknees to the bootcut jeans, mixed with your local football team suppoter t-shirt.....?

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1. she has zero fashion sense--she wore this faded black t-shirt with a gold tiger on it (think metal head) and rolled up the SHORT sleeves a bit on the side. No blazer, no jewelry to dress it up. It looked really tacky at the "upscale" restaurant and at the Tribeca Grand--both venues where appropriate fashionable dress code is the expectation. We weren't going to a music festival or rock concert! The first time out she wore this hideous baby doll dress with flip flops too. ugh. She also has this annoying layer of peach fuzz facial hair ;)...a pet peeve turn off of mine.

2. personality wise, she's a Thinker and therefore takes an objective approach to her decision making. Personally, I prefer Feelers, which balance out my objectivity resulting in better chemistry. Couple that objectivity with her "rough around the edges" mannerisms and. Well. you know. time to move on.

OK, but enough about all that. How big were her....

eyes?

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