Pumps Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 Your words made me cry for joy. I guess someday I'll go to Sweden; I've heard that it's a land with no / hardly any sexism nor homophobia, . This is certainly NOT true. In fact the local branch of the swedish gay rights movement have had to close down their office in my city due to harrasment and vandalism. And if you think the swedes are cool with heel-wearing, think again. The law of Jante rules here and as Admirer say, sticking out is not a good idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kneehighs Posted June 7, 2009 Author Share Posted June 7, 2009 Outfit for last night was a white sequin mini dress I bought from Zara. I tucked the mini dress into my right and left sides, leaving the front and back hanging, which created a pretty cool effect. Layered a womens Mango blazer over that and wore women's Urban Outfitter tight straight leg jeans with black 4.5" inch cone heeled booties from Nine West. My goal for the night was to test the limits of my "escalation anxiety" with girls. Personally, I've got good control over my approach anxiety and wanted to see what would happen when I went out and flirted, and physically escalated as much as possible, as fast as possible with the girls I met. The goal wasn't a same night "lay", but to build my escalation skills. I anticipated a fun night, and as usual, it was fun! Arrived at the club and deliberately stood outside talking to the manager for about 5 minutes. I did this because I enjoy her company, but also because it's good social proof for the bouncers and people walking into the bar. Now all the bouncers there respect me for knowing the head manager and people who saw me talking to her suspect I must be somebody of high value, since they saw me talking at length with her. Went in and saw a sandy blonde and blue eyed girl walking with her friend across the bar. She had some amazing stiletto pumps on and was fierce in her walk. So I opened her and her friend with something to the effect of, "so are you working on your runway strut? I saw you working it (and motioned my body like a runway model, putting one leg criss cross in front of the other when walking)." That got them both laughing. Instantly, I went in for escalation on the blonde. It's weird how far girls will let you go when you just try. In a matter of minutes we were embracing each other, she had her hands in my hair, her arms around my neck, and her friend was telling her to "go and parade him around!" So she did that! Amazing! Within minutes, she was parading me around the bar, giving me amazing preselection social proof to all the other girls in the bar (it wasn't a club, but a bar). haha, how's that for a freebie? Did you ever notice that when you are with another girl, other girls seem to notice you more? It's because you are demonstrating pre-selection! Again, my goal last night wasn't to go home with some girl, but to perfect my escalation skills. So wound up practicing with two other girls in addition to the blonde. Again, I surprised myself how far girls will let me go with flirting as in a matter of minutes, legs were crisscrossed in each other, waists were touching, hands were a holding. If a girl pulled away because I was flirting too fast, I'd re-flirt, but on a smaller level and build back up to where I had tried before. Overall, a great time was had by all (the girls had fun too!) and an it was an amazing learning experience. Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arctic Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 @ pumps: It is a matter of perspective. As a whole, the Nordic countries and the Netherlands ARE the most liberal of any worldwide. It does not mean you can get away with everything everywhere. It also does not mean you might not have more liberal areas elsewhere: Tokyo, San Francisco, NYC, for example. The difference is here that we are talking about a metropolitan area, or even a part of a city, versus a general society wide attitude towards individual expression. Visiting any town an hour's drive out of Stockholm vs. an hours drive out of NYC makes it very clear. Of course you are going to find morons in Sweden making life difficult for people with different perspectives, but all things considered, Sweden, Norway, Finland, and Holland are good societies to be different. But obviously things are not the same a village in Lapland and on Drottninggatan. @KH: "It's weird how far girls will let you go when you just try. In a matter of minutes we were embracing each other, she had her hands in my hair, her arms around my neck, and her friend was telling her to "go and parade him around!" Yep, there seems to be some kind of sixth sense in women that allows them to identify harm from fun, and it is rarely fooled, nor understood, by men. As soon as you are labeled "not a hazard" they go for the fun What's all the fuss about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thighbootguy Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 Kneehighs – I have never had the opportunity to develop social skill at your level and I don’t think, after all these years, that I’m really wired to develop them. I read your posts with endless fascination and hope you will keep us posted when you write your book. Possible titles: My view of the World from on top of 4” stiletto pumps How to wear pumps and influence people Heels make the Man Girls need Heeling The Law of Social Heeling . . . I dream of a world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 Kneehighs:-) Flirt all you want as long as you can and enjoy doing it. I'm like TBG as I'm certainly not in your league on flirting. But, then again, with a pardner like Mickey, who needs to flirt? Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kneehighs Posted June 8, 2009 Author Share Posted June 8, 2009 Kneehighs – I have never had the opportunity to develop social skill at your level and I don’t think, after all these years, that I’m really wired to develop them. I read your posts with endless fascination and hope you will keep us posted when you write your book. How to wear pumps and influence people ROFLMAO haha, love the Dale Carnegie reference. Glad somebody thinks I have good social skills. Personally, I think a ton of men are deluded about their about their social skills, meaning they think they are better with people/women than they really are. Truth be told, I have a ton of learning and progress to make and enjoy just enough "skill" to get some really great results, both in my professional life and with girls. Yeah, I may have won Toastmasters Awards in public speaking, yeah, I may be able to close a 3 some in stiletto pumps, BUT, there remains a large plot of unchartered territory of learning for me to explore. And I can't wait! Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyFeat Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Kneehighs, first I want to thank you for introducing me to the concept of "social proof." Though I have studied sociology, I have avoided psychology as much as possible. Since you first posted about social proof, I have done quite a bit of reading on the subject and understanding of the concept has made my heeling experiences more interesting as of late. In my evolution as a heeler, I have gone from being consumed by what others think to not caring what others think. But since I have been thinking about social proof, and begining to apply the concept, I have become more interested in influencing how others think. It is not enough to hope that you are accepted it is creating a situation where you are accepted. Better yet, its about making others want to be accepted by you! That being said, I like they way you were thinking when you were out. (The outfit sounded incredible by the way.) Its not that I go out looking for a one night thing, or even a thing for that matter. Its that I love to go out and just have a fun evening in the company of fun people. It totally agree how positive women respond when you just try. I also think that being unique in appearance and attitude is also quite attractive to women and that the group will follow once you have made an impression with the first (social proof at work). You continue to bring whole new dimensions to heeling and social activity to me. Makes me think fashion isn't just about the clothes! Style is built from the ground up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kneehighs Posted June 8, 2009 Author Share Posted June 8, 2009 Thanks, the outfit worked well. It just takes sooo much effort and time to post a photo, ugh. I respect you, JeffB, and especially Thighbootguy (for his video editing, whew). I should probably take the time to post a few as my style sense has greatly increased over the last year. The blazer toned down the sequins, I rolled up the sleeves on the blazer, and the sequins made a great "touching" icebreaker with many a girl. My goal was always to inspire women in the fashion industry to wear what I wear. Now, I can say I've had that effect on editors and models (heels included). And as far as the girls go, last nights objectives were merely elements of me learning to categorize my interactions into sequential phases, from approaching to escalating to qualifying to closing. I don't just want to be good with women, I want to be Great! p.s. I did witness one dusty blonde girl standing in a corner with a friend. She was secretly changing from her heels into flats. So I went up to her as soon as she had put her heels into her bag and said, "that was almost slick, changing into your flats" with a friendly smile. Before she had time to reply, I added with "how long had you been in your heels for?" I'm good at opening conversations with girls though, and remembering my objective for the evening was to enhance my escalation skills, I moved in with hardcore flirting. With both her and her friend. My new attitude is generally "below me, or below me out". Meaning, give me what I want or just get so irritated with my approach, that you leave. Oh yeah, I leave the kissing details that ensued for the imagination. Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyFeat Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Oh yeah, I leave the kissing details that ensued for the imagination. Of course a gentleman does not kiss and tell. However at 6'2" without heels I have found that kissing women while they are NOT in heels to be quite a physical challenge. A challenge that I am not one to pass up... Style is built from the ground up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kneehighs Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 OK, taking a break from some work right now. Went out on Saturday night. Girl originally objected to the idea of a man in heels. She emphatically stated that heels should be saved for the girls. I wasn't wearing heels the first time. The second time we got together, this last Saturday night, I wasn't wearing heels at the beginning either. But in true "girl" mode, I whipped out some 4.5" heels from my bag and changed into them right before her very eyes. Naturally, she didn't object to the Reality of a man in heels. "that is all for now"... Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyFeat Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 I may have to start carrying a bag with heels to slip on spontaneously. To me, this is an example of my theory...it is less about the shoes a man wears than about the man wearing the shoes. Style is built from the ground up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 What a great idea. Have a bag (back pack, courier bag) to carry your heels, get to your destination and put them on. Ladies do it for work all the time. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kneehighs Posted June 18, 2009 Author Share Posted June 18, 2009 I....To me, this is an example of my theory...it is less about the shoes a man wears than about the man wearing the shoes. The difference is that I address the WHAT, you address the WHY. Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danielp6406 Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 Greatings Kneehighs :-) Only have one word: WOW ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 I think this is the first time that we've heard that you went out with the same girl more than once -- Hmmm! Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kneehighs Posted June 18, 2009 Author Share Posted June 18, 2009 I think this is the first time that we've heard that you went out with the same girl more than once -- Hmmm! Hmmm, the Good Guy in me says, "more than once = possible start of romantic relationship, full of flowers, picnics, wine, skipping through fields of daisies together, and kisses under the moonlight" The Adventurous Guy in me says, "woman in tow = preselection for other women, proof of value to bouncers at clubs..." I think it's implicit which side I leaned on and ultimately, we both had a good time and both of us benefitted from conjoining forces for the night... Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 we both had a good time and both of us benefitted from conjoining forces for the night... Unless the dating scene has drastically changed since I was eligible, isn't that the objective of having a "date?" (and, never underestimate the power of female attraction.....so many single men have "fallen" for just a "casual" friend...... (just "poken" a little fun atcha, kh ) Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kneehighs Posted June 18, 2009 Author Share Posted June 18, 2009 Point well taken Mr. Bubba136! I'm getting into a different league of girls now though, so my standards have gone up, not only for physical attractiveness, but for what goes on inside their head too. The girl from Saturday is just too emotionally unbalanced for my taste. Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gwl1 Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 Be careful, KH. "The boy chases the girl until she catches him!" LOL GWL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 Kneehighs:-) Nice stratigy. I always started out from home wearing heels and I generally don't change them along the way. But the girls do it sometimes daily, why shouldn't we? Hmmmm! Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyFeat Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 The difference is that I address the WHAT, you address the WHY. Ah...but I am all about the why...the what is a given. Style is built from the ground up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kneehighs Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 Ah...but I am all about the why...the what is a given. If the WHAT is a given, then why do we have years of duplicate threads asking for women's opinions of men in heels? The WHAT that I refer to in this case is the the fact that women respond differently to the IDEA of a man in heels as opposed to the REALITY. That's not a given for a lot of people. Otherwise we wouldn't have years of duplicate threads here asking the same question over and over again. "What do women think of men in heels?" "Ladies, what do you think of a guy in heels?" And we all know how text based critiques over the internet can draw the worst out in some people. WHY women respond differently to the reality of a man in heels depends more on the man wearing the heels, than it does the heels alone, which is what your theory addresses. Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 --- That's not a given for a lot of people. Otherwise we wouldn't have years of duplicate threads here asking the same question over and over again. "What do women think of men in heels?" "Ladies, what do you think of a guy in heels?" And we all know how text based critiques over the internet can draw the worst out in some people. The "What do women think of men in heels?" question is only one of a large number of questions repeatedly asked. There is a set of "basic" questions that occur to every male that wears high heels. Questions that are generated by society's dividing clothing by gender. Skirts and dresses = women's wear. Shoes, highly decorated, dainty, high heels, strappy sandals, etc., female wear. Thick soles, lace-up, rugged boots, muted colors = male wear. So, as we all personally know, social taboos play a huge role in the general population's not accepting any male dressing in female attire, anyplace at anytime. While I can't accurately estimate the number, I would bet a Dollar to a donut that close to 100% began wearing high heels in secret and behind closed doors (and, would guess 85% still do). The natural curiosity of all of the guys to compair experiences with other likeminded men is overwhelming. When these heel-wearing guys find an outlet where they can discuss men-in-heels, with other guys, they really want opinions and answers to these basic questions. --Why do you wear heels? How long (when did you start?) -- How did you start (or, what prompted you) to wear heels? -- Does your wife/girlfriend/partner/SO (whatever you identify her/him) know about your high heels? -- How did your partner find out about your heels? -- what does your partner think about you wearing them? -- do you ever wear them outside of your home? Plus many other questions that occur as new members become more involved and comfortable with discussing their heel desire with other men that also wear high heels. Actually, if you stop and think, these same questions are usually posed by the general population, when they come upon someone out and about in their high heels.....as wittnessed by the large number of posts relating "what reaction did you get " when they appearance in public wearing high heels. So, if anyone is looking for a reason why these same questions are asked over and over, again and again, the reason is found in the initial eagerness to "bond" with other like minded people..... That being said, however, it doesn't mean that the repetition of the same questions doesn't become "boring" to time members of this forum or other forms like it. So, while I've answered these questions many times since I've been a member here, I always remember how excited I was when I discovered Internet contacts that shared the same wonderful (to me) desire to wear high heels, and tried to answer them with patience and understanding. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kneehighs Posted June 20, 2009 Author Share Posted June 20, 2009 .... --Why do you wear heels? How long (when did you start?) -- How did you start (or, what prompted you) to wear heels? -- Does your wife/girlfriend/partner/SO (whatever you identify her/him) know about your high heels? -- How did your partner find out about your heels? -- what does your partner think about you wearing them? -- do you ever wear them outside of your home? .... GREAT ideas for sticky threads! Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heelium Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 Kneehighs, I dont come to this forum too much these days, last time was when you were saying that you wouldn't be around here much either, I am pleased to see that you do still post here. PS, I had a great day last week pounding up & down oxford street in a pair of lowish stiletto boots, & managed to pickup a couple of pairs of shoes from my favourite store, what doesnt show up too well in the photo of the 1st pair is they have a really slender & high stiletto heel, glad I saw them in the shop & tried them on as they look much nicer on the foot. http://www.faith.co.uk/productdetails.aspx?pid=273800&language=en-GB&cid= http://www.faith.co.uk/productdetails.aspx?pid=281400&language=en-GB&cid= Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 nice choices, heelium. Newest styles, latest fashion in shoes. I like both pair. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyFeat Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 I love both pair, especially the peep toes! Style is built from the ground up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Helium:-) Both pairs are very nice purchases for you. I like them both. It's good to see that you check back in here on the Site from time to time. Don't forget from whence you came? Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyFeat Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Kneehighs, I guess what I meant when I said heels are a given is that if you CHOOSE to wear heels, then it is GIVEN that you are a guy wearing heels. At the risk of appearing to engage in circular logic, I just think that for me to evolve as a heeler (and as a person) it is vital to engage in the deeper questions that just about how people react, if I can be taken seriously in heels, etc. Oh, don't get me wrong, the reactions will always be fun and interesting, but the ontology of the act begins to break down into certain predictable patterns. Most of the threads that address how people react, if women like a guy in heels, etc. are all wonderful, but by not by far the only insight that can be gained from social observation. For me, by addressing the WHY, such as why do people react the way they do or why do they hold the assumptions about what is socially acceptable, etc. even goes beyond heeling for me. I guess WHAT is given is that I am going to wear my heels where I want, and when I want regardless of whether society approves of not. I hope this clarifies my statement. Style is built from the ground up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Both are good looking shoes. I really like the Coshi - "Leather court shoe featuring unique T-bar and buckled ankle straps. The Coshi courts have a covered platform and back." I love closed toe strappy shoes and these have a hidden platform. It allows the heel to be higher but is easier on the ankles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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