Good Responses From Women: The Ultimate Resource

[JeffB]

Something tells me you'll get over it Jeff. Another ebay buying binge perhaps?

Heh! Not a bad idea! But I'm concentrating more on boots as fall is right around the corner and I want to be ready for the season!

[Dawn HH]

JeffB:-) There is nothing like the feeling of a comfortable, good fitting pair of knee or thigh high boots, or 2, or 3, or.... Cheers--- Dawn HH

[JeffB]

This is true! The boots I have in my collection (all bought at Payless) are a good three years old, back when blade heels were the style of choice, so they're pretty well ancient today. Can barely bring myself to look at 'em because they're so dated, so they'll have to be replaced as soon as possible. I'll keep you up to date on my progress!

[dr1819]

I know blade heels may be "dated" simply because they're too few new ones on the market these days, but that doesn't necessarily make them unfashionable.

Personally, I prefer a narrower heel anyway, unless I'm going to be walking across uneven ground. Then I prefer a block heel.

These are kind of nice, though:

[Danielinheels]

This is true! The boots I have in my collection (all bought at Payless) are a good three years old, back when blade heels were the style of choice, so they're pretty well ancient today. Can barely bring myself to look at 'em because they're so dated, so they'll have to be replaced as soon as possible. I'll keep you up to date on my progress!

Are they um... a 13 Wide by any chance?

[JeffB]

Are they um... a 13 Wide by any chance?

They are indeed. But I figure on holding on to them until I replace them with something a little more modern. Hopefully that won't take too long!

[Bubba136]

While I know everyone wants to be equipped with the latest style, I really don't think there's a thing wrong with wearing blade heels -- especially by a man -- because slightly out of date shoes will kinda "soften" the visual "unusualness (not common)" of noticing a man in heels. But then, again, it's a personal preference. And, I won't stop wearing my J-Lo boots with 4½" heels just because they're last years style. They are comfortable and I like the way they look.

[JeffB]

While I know everyone wants to be equipped with the latest style, I really don't think there's a thing wrong with wearing blade heels -- especially by a man -- because slightly out of date shoes will kinda "soften" the visual "unusualness (not common)" of noticing a man in heels. But then, again, it's a personal preference. And, I won't stop wearing my J-Lo boots with 4½" heels just because they're last years style. They are comfortable and I like the way they look.

You have a good point there, Bubba, and I'd be a fool to argue the logic of what you said. The thing is, and this is gonna sound awfully stupid, the reason I've soured on those boots is because they only have 3 1/2 heels, and that's just not tall enough for me these days as I'm routinely wearing four and five inch heels. Ridiculous, huh? Yeah, I thought so too. Still, upon further review, it might well be foolish to give up on those boots.

[Danielinheels]

You have a good point there, Bubba, and I'd be a fool to argue the logic of what you said. The thing is, and this is gonna sound awfully stupid, the reason I've soured on those boots is because they only have 3 1/2 heels, and that's just not tall enough for me these days as I'm routinely wearing four and five inch heels. Ridiculous, huh? Yeah, I thought so too. Still, upon further review, it might well be foolish to give up on those boots.

you don't have to give up on all of them... you know.. just a pair or two...

*creeps away*

[Shafted]

I know the feeling Jeff. For me with my smaller 11 med feet 3.5 to 4 inches seems to be my maximum comfortable height as I'm also required to be on my feet much of the day. While I love wearing my 5 inchers the fact is my feet would not tolorate them under these conditions, although I'm proficient at handling them. But having to go lower than 3.5 inches really bites.

[Dawn HH]

I will still be wearing all of my heeled shoes and heeled boots with blade heels. Bubba has a point in what he says and I agree with him. Besides that...there is still a lot of wear and comfort left in them and I expect to put many more miles on them before I'm done with them. After all, you don't get rid of your new car just because the next years model has come out...you keep it and enjoy putting miles on it. So be it. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[JeffB]

Well, it's certainly good to know I'm not alone in that particular mindset. It's just that I've gotten so used to four and five inch heels, that going below those heights almost takes the fun out of wearing heels in the first place. Dopey as that sounds, it's the way I feel, however, I suppose I can adjust my thinking as it would be folly to give away those blade heel boots I currently own. Oh, and Dawn, I did know someone many years ago who traded in his car every year because he wanted to always drive the latest model! :rofl:

[Dawn HH]

JeffB:-) I went into your site to check out your boot pics, and what a great set of pics they were. You look fantastic in a leather skirt, hose and thigh high boots. Va-va voom!!! I enjoyed myself in there so much that I looked at all 80 pics again. As to the guy who traded in his car every year just to have the latest model...he has more money than brains to be able to do that. The minute you drive a new car off the lot you are losing a lot of dollars in value, in some cases, thousands. He must be the Jones's that everybody is trying to keep up with. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[JeffB]

JeffB:-)

I went into your site to check out your boot pics, and what a great set of pics they were. You look fantastic in a leather skirt, hose and thigh high boots. Va-va voom!!! I enjoyed myself in there so much that I looked at all 80 pics again.

Thanks for the compliments, Dawn. I appreciate the kind words. I'll let you in a little secret, I wasn't wearing hosiery in those new shots. I was curious to see how my legs looked minus pantyhose, and I thought they came through well. And again, I amazed myself at how well I looked in a short skirt, paired with the boots, they made for quite a combination. Wow! I didn't know I was up to 80 shots! I should pay attention to my own stuff more often! HA!

[Dawn HH]

JeffB:-) You could have fooled me on that one. I'll let you in on a little secret...your legs in those shots were as shiny as if you were wearing hose. Must have been a good shave job, eh! TEE! HEE! Cheers--- Dawn HH

[JeffB]

JeffB:-)

You could have fooled me on that one. I'll let you in on a little secret...your legs in those shots were as shiny as if you were wearing hose. Must have been a good shave job, eh! TEE! HEE!

Cheers---

Dawn HH

Now I'll let you in on a secret: I've never shaved my legs in my life! I guess it must be genetics, but my legs have been hair-free since day one. No stubble, no fuzz, no nothing. If there is any hair there, you'd need a magnifying glass to see it. Scout's honor! I just rubbed my legs down with lotion before I put the boots on and took the pics. Not bad, eh?

[dr1819]

I forgot to tell everyone about my outing on Friday!

I was lounging around the house in my skirt, almost identical to this one, but without the frills and with an even hemline. From any distance it just looks like a plain black skirt with an elastic and drawstring waist.

I wanted to hit my favorite watering hole, as I was in a bit of a funk, but I didn't feel like taking off my skirt, so I just unzipped my boots and slipped into my thongs:

I know they're without a heel, but here's the interesting part...

I had on a black long-sleeved shirt, which I've worn to the office with a tie. Tonight, no tie. I just unbuttoned my cuffs, put on my watch and a cuff bracelet, and drove.

As I was nearing the casino, I began to wish I'd worn black jeans and heels, instead, as I don't go out very often in a skirt. But I really didn't want to fight 18 minutes of traffic to get back home, so I pushed on.

The place is fairly large, with the bar at the back, and I thought surely someone would notice, but no one did.

I sat down, noticing a foursome lounging on the couch and a chair about twenty feet away. After about five minutes, one of them, a cute mid-30's lady (CL) with slight oriental features walked up and asked if she could sit next to me.

Here's how it went:

DR - Sure

CL - Thank you. Uh, do you mind if I ask you a question?

DR - Not at all.

CL - I was, well, we were just wondering, uh, are you wearing a skirt?

DR - Yes.

CL - If you don't mind my asking, why are you wearing it?

DR - Well, I like the way it looks and feels on me.

CL - Do you normally wear skirts?

DR - Normally I just wear them around the house. I don't go out very often wearing a skirt.

CL - I can see why.

DR - Really? Why's that?

CL - You probably get a lot of stares and comments, I would imagine.

DR - Actually, hardly any.

CL - You're kidding me!

DR - Nope

She paused for a few minutes, then continued.

CL - Would you mind if I ask you a more personal question?

DR - Go right ahead. I might not answer, depending upon what it's about, but you're welcome to ask.

CL - That's fair, I suppose. Um... How does it feel to be a transvestite?

DR - Are you sure you're asking the right guy?

CL - What do you mean?

DR - Well, just because a man wears a skirt doesn't make him a transvestite.

CL - But of course it does! Skirts are for women! When a man wears women's clothes, he's a transvestite.

DR - Hmmm... I see your point. However, I wonder what the several hundred million skirt-wearing world would think about being transvestites...

CL - Oh, come now! Millions of men don't wear skirts!

DR - Sure they do.

CL - Then why haven't I seen any?

DR - I'm sure you have, but perhaps you didn't recognize it.

CL - I would think I would know it if I saw a man wearing a skirt!

DR - Well, let's try an experiment, if you're willing, ok?

CL - What kind of experiment?

DR - A though experiment. I'll name a movie, and if you've seen it, let me know. Then, I'll ask you how many men wore skirts in the movie, ok?

CL - Ok (with a premature triumphant grin in her eyes).

DR - How about the movie Brigadoon, with Gene Kelly?

CL - No, I've not seen that one.

DR - Ok. What about Four Weddings and a Funeral?

CL - Yes, I've seen it. But there weren't any men wearing skirts in it.

DR - Are you sure?

CL - Of course I'm sure!

DR - Do you remember the wedding scene?

CL - Yes.

DR - How many of the men wore skirts?

CL - Why, none, of course!

DR - Ok, how many of the men wore kilts?

CL - None!

DR - Actually, it was a bunch. Not only was the groom wearing a kilt, but most of the men at the wedding were wearing kilts, too.

CL - They were not!

DR - Well, you rent it again at your leisure, if you're really interested.

CL - Ok, smartypants, let's assume they were wearing kilts. A kilt's not the same thing as a skirt.

DR - Really?

CL - Of course it's not. A kilt is made for a man.

DR - Hmmm... Do you know what a sarong is?

CL - Yes.

DR - Would you say that it's a type of skirt?

CL - Yes.

DR - And how many men have you seen wearing sarongs?

CL - Oh, come, now - men don't wear sarongs!

DR - Are you sure?

CL - Why do you keep asking me that? I'm sure, ok!

DR - Ok. Getting back to movies, have you ever seen the kid's movie, Johnny Lingo?

CL - Yes I did. My nephew has that on DVD.

DR - And who wore the sarongs in the movie?

CL - Well, the women did!

DR - And what were the men wearing?

CL - Pants.

DR - I think that's another movie you might wish to see again. The lead character wore a sarong.

CL - He did not!

DR - Well, I won't argue with you. However, most men throughout the South Pacific still wear sarongs. I don't know how many there are, but I know there are several hundred million people in that region of the world. And many men in India still wear skirts. Although the practice has died down in Scotland, there are many occasions men in Scotland still wear kilts.

CL - But a kilt isn't a skirt.

DR - And a sarong is?

CL - Well...

DR - Yet millions of men wear sarongs, so they're wearing skirts, are they not?

CL - I suppose so.

DR - Let's get back to the movies.

CL - Ok.

DR - Did you ever seen the movie Highlander or watch the series?

CL - Yes. Were they wearing skirts, too?

DR - Quite often. How about Gladiator, Troy, or Ben Hur?

CL - I've watched those too.

DR - Did you notice the lead characters were all wearing skirts? And remember, this is well before the Scots had kilts...

CL - Ok, I'm beginning to see your point.

DR - How about Lawrence of Arabia? The men wore what we who live in America call a dress, but they call them robes.

CL - But that was so long ago. Men don't wear skirts any more. Or robes.

DR - How about The Thomas Crown Affair? There was one scene where Pierce Brosnan wore a dark sarong while visiting the Caribbeans. Have you been to the Caribbeans?

CL - No.

DR - I have, and quite a few men down there wear skirts. Sarongs, actually. It's where I wore my first sarong.

CL - Well, I still think it's transvestism here in America.

DR - You mean like women wearing pants?

CL - That's not transvestism.

DR - How about when women first transitioned from wearing skirts to wearing pants, like in the thirties?

CL - Well, that was different.

DR - How was it different than when men first transitioned from wearing pants to wearing skirts?

CL - I dunno. It just seems so... silly!

DR - Probably no sillier than it seemed to some people the first time they saw a woman walking down the street wearing a pair of pants.

CL - But that was a long time ago!

DR - Yes, it was. And an even longer time ago, before our nation was founded, men wore skirts and tights, not to mention robes and tunics - you know, they're just a dress with another name, like sarong and kilts are another word for a skirt. It wasn't gay. It was just the style of clothing at the time.

CL - But that was way back then.

DR - But this is now (and pointed to my skirt).

CL - But you're the only man I've ever seen wearing a skirt.

DR - I thought we went over that...

CL - Ooops, you're right. At least you're not wearing heels.

DR - Sorry, but I rarely wear skirts and heels at the same time.

CL - (laughing) You're too much!

DR - I'm glad you think so.

About that time, one of her friends walked over and said, "What's taken you so long?" She then turned to me and said, "We had a bet going that she didn't have the nerve to ask you to come sit with us. Would you like to join us? We'd like to hear what ya'll are talking about."

So, for the next five hours, I spent another hour talking with them before heading off to sightsee before hitting two more watering holes. I wound up talking with them until 1am, and the last half an hour of the conversation went something like this (PG was one of the prettier girls):

PG - So what do you think about men wearing heels?

DR - I'm curious as to why you ask. Do you know of any men who wear heels?

PG - Actually, I do - one of my neighbors. I thought it was kind of gay at first, but he's married, and now he just looks normal in them.

CL - You mean he actually wears heels? Like high heels?

PG - Oh, yeah. I usually see him in a pair of leather boots with spike heels, unless he's mowing the yard or something. But getting the mail, going out - he's always wearing his boots.

CL - That is gay!

PG - No it's not! He's not gay - he's married. (turning to me) Do you think it's gay?

DR - I think the term "gay" should be used to describe a person's sexual orientation, not their choice of clothing.

CL - But don't you find that really weird that a guy would wear heels?

DR - Not really. Unusual? Yes. Weird? Perverted? Not at all.

PG - I'm glad to hear you say that. I've come to the same conclusion. He's one of our best neighbors.

DR - Glad to hear that, PG.

CL - I dunno. It's all a little strange to me.

DR - Sure it is. And why shouldn't it be? After all, you've never seen it before. When people encounter something unfamiliar, it seems a bit strange, such as when they visit a foreign country and the architecture or food is quite different. It's not strange to the natives, but it is strange to the visitors.

CL - I see what you mean. It's just...

PG - What, CL?

CL - I just can't believe a guy could get away with wearing heels.

DR - But you also thought that about my wearing a skirt. So how many times have we had to beat antagonists off with a stick? In fact, when's the last time you noticed anyone taking an interest in the fact that I'm wearing a skirt?

CL - Well, actually, it's been quite a while.

DR - Exactly. Most people just don't care. And if I had to guess, probably one or two out of every ten males who did notice are probably thinking, "that's interesting. I wonder if I could do that..."

PG - (laughing) I'll be you're right!

CL - You two really think so? You think that there are other men out there who're interested in wearing skirts, much less heels?

DR - Actually, you'd be surprised. I think the statistic is something like 35% of all men wear some form of women's clothing at least a couple times a year, and about 10% do so several times a month. As for wearing heels, most men have tried on a pair of high heels at least once in their lives, and perhaps 5% wear heels routinely, even thought the percentage of men who would actually go out in a pair of heels is far lower.

CL - How come you know so much about this?

DR - (laughing) Oh, I just read a lot, I guess!

We said our good-byes, but PG said they'd be at the same place we met earlier on Saturday night, and asked if I'd be willing to show them around some more? I said sure, and here's what happened Saturday:

I wore a natural linen-colored shirt with long, dark charcoal slacks and a pair of wingtip boots with a medium heel:

I walked up, and the only one that was there was PG. We talked for a few minutes before I asked where the others were and she said they were running late. About that time, she spotted my heels:

PG - Ohmuhgod!

DR - What?

PG - You're really wearing heels!

DR - Are you surprised?

PG - Well, from our conversations yesterday, not really. I just didn't think you were someone who would.

DR - Happens all the time.

About that time, we spotted the other three and waived them over.

PG - Hey, like, hide your feet under the table a bit, ok? I want to see their reaction as we're walking away instead of letting them know up front.

DR - (grinning) Ok.

The conversation was much the same as before, talking a bit about work before moving on to other subjects.

As we got up to leave, I was the first to stand, but all anyone saw was the front part of my wingtips. We walked out, and it wasn't until we hit the sidewalk that CL looked down at the sound:

CL (stopping dead in her tracks, mouth opening wide for a minute; five seconds later) - I can't believe you're doing that!

DR - Doing what?

CL - Wearing heels!

PG - (coming back, putting her hand on CL's arm) Come on, CL - you're attracting attention. Let's keep moving...

DR - That's ok, but yes, let's keep moving. So tell me, CL, what you think about the way it looks. Do my boots really look bad, or is it just the fact that they have a heel.

CL - (to my surprise, she looks down as we're walking) - No, actually they don't look bad on you. In fact they look very nice. I suppose the heel is a bit incongruous, but only when you're looking.

PG - I'll bet we won't attracting any more attention tonight than we did last night. Come on - let's stop in here for a while. I've always wanted to see this exhibit.

The exhibit was an art exhibit, and while I'm not too much into art, I enjoyed their company, so we strolled around for about an hour before moving on.

At our first watering hole, the women sat down and talked mostly about the art, but they also mentioned they'd noticed a couple of people looking at my boots.

DR - And what was their reaction?

PG - Oh, it was nothing, just a glance, then another. You know.

CL - I was suprised. I thought a few of the couples would start talking about it, but no one did.

DR - That's been my experience. Most people really don't give a hoot one way or the other. There are a lot weirder things out there, you know.

CL - Such as what?

At that point, we began to tell one another about all the differences we've seen with respect to what people do - hair, piercings, tatoos, combinations thereof, etc. And we never spoke about guys wearing skirts or heels again.

Sadly, they had to go home the next day. It would have been nice if they could have stayed.

[HeelD]

Very good encounter dr1819. Reading your post made me smile. Liked the way CL's arguments were all pretty much counted by yours. Another good outing! (Not a bad skirt either!)

[tal]

Wow, fantastic story, i also read it with a smile!

[Bubba136]

CL's attitude, questions, and remarks covered the gamut of sterotype ideas toward anyone poking from beneath the comfortable cover" of what currently is and is not socially acceptable. While I think you might have "opened" her mind a crack to looking a little more closely before making snap assumptions about people and situations, based on popular cultural beliefs, and to assessing and analyzing more deeply her "reactions." If you ever see these people again, I am sure you will have to pick-up where you left off because your work with this group isn't yet done.

[Dawn HH]

Dr1819:-) What a great discussion you had with those girls about men wearing high heels and skirts. You sure did help open her mind a crack for the future. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[JeffB]

dr1819: That was an absolutely fascinating encounter you had. I read it start to finish twice because it was so engrossing. It usually isn't easy to change minds that are set in their pre-conceived notions of what gender should wear what clothing, but you certainly did your best to open the mind of the woman you spoke with. Great reading!

[Tommy]

FANTASTIC !

[Shafted]

Wow dr1819, they don't get any better than that! The very fact that they allowed themselves to be seen in public with you says alot about the kind of women they are. Kudos to you and them!

[JeffB]

Here’s a short but charming little exploit from yesterday. While I was at the office enjoying breakfast, one of my co-workers call up to me and asked for advice. Garbed in a dark navy pantsuit, she wore a light colored navy shoe on her right foot and a black shoe on her left, she said to me, and I quote: “Since you’re the expert on shoes, which color do you think looks best on me?” After staring at the choices for about ten seconds, I said in the firm, confident voice of someone who knows what he’s talking about, “Go with black. It works better with the color of your outfit.” She looked down, nodded, then said, “You’re right. Black does look better. Thanks for your advice. I knew you’d be able to help me.” “That’s why I’m here,” I said jokingly. It was really cool to be called on by a woman for my expertise on women’s shoes.

[ShockQueen]

Boy, if that doesn't give a lift to your day, Jeff....nothing will! (well...except a nice pair of heels that is )

[Shafted]

JeffB, I just love those little ironic stories. It makes one think that heels are probably better suited to men than women, although I will always love seeing them on women.

[jim]

Firstly dr1819,I must make a comment on your avatar…..I love it ! The cut and drape of the models denim skirt is wonderful and feel her boots work the look to perfection.

Thanks for posting your account with these women, I found the interaction you had with them a pleasure to read. I firmly believe that if we dress well, even if our style is somewhat different to the norm, but we're confident with- in our selves, interesting people and pleasant encounters often follow.

As you have shown, to be successful when dressing differently we must be comfortable with what we are wearing and with the person that we are, because if we are not, how on earth can we expect others to be.

Anyway...I have just spent the last 2 weeks or so in Auckland on business and wore my Sachi 4” boots a lot of the time and received only one comment on them. As I walked across a paved area to the Atrium on Elliot I couldn’t help but hear a woman say…

“ GAWD ! LOOK AT HIMMM..!”

LOL…The remark pricked a bit, but I really hope seeing me in heels helped make her day.

While in the city, I shopped for shoes and things and wandered into a store I had not been to before. I soon found a pair of Via Spiga’s with a four inch heel and a pointed toe that just demanded my immediate and undivided attention.

What I found kinda neat was as the sales girl was helping me on with them, the manageress came out, watched a while and then became involved also. She was a rather striking well dressed woman wearing spindly stilettos and was aged in her early to mid 40’s. She suggested a number of other boots I might like and helped me try them on, all the while passing comments and making suggestions as to what she thought would go with them. There was also abit of gentle flirting thrown into the mix for good measure. (which pleased me no end)

The other girl had moved off to help another customer by this time and I was left in the rather capable hands of the manageress .After trying on a good number of shoes, including a very graceful pair of caged, brown suede wedges, I decided to take the VS knee boots that had originaly caught my eye.

I was feeling very pleased with my choice as I handed over the cash to her. These delightful calf skin boots had been marked down from $599.00 to $199.00 which helped make this whole shopping experience even more rewarding.

Just as I was about to leave, the manageress told me her name, wrote it on the inside of the stores business card and gave it to me. It was one of those trendy little deals that fold in the middle and although I didn’t open it, I did take note of the stores name, MIA PIACI printed on the front and slid it into my wallet.

Later that afternoon I stopped off to buy a bottle or two of wine and while paying the guy for the Merlot, the card I had been given earlier dropped out of my pocket book and onto the counter. While returning it I couldn't help but smile,especially after seeing a cell number and 2 other words written above her name..

“ call me !”

jim

(edited for spelling & gwammer)

[Dawn HH]

Jim:-) What a great story that you related to us. You must have made a wonderful impression on that Manageress to have her give you her card and then say "Call Me". Are you going to call her sometime? It might be an interesting conversation. Do you intend to visit that shop again in hopes to get another bargain? You could be personally served again by that Manageress. Oh, how sweet it is! Cheers--- Dawn HH P.S. Any chance of any pics of you in your new boots?

[dr1819]

CL's attitude, questions, and remarks covered the gamut of sterotype ideas toward anyone poking from beneath the comfortable cover" of what currently is and is not socially acceptable. While I think you might have "opened" her mind a crack to looking a little more closely before making snap assumptions about people and situations, based on popular cultural beliefs, and to assessing and analyzing more deeply her "reactions." If you ever see these people again, I am sure you will have to pick-up where you left off because your work with this group isn't yet done.

I think that's why PG and the others sent her over, because she was asking them, "Why is that man wearing a skirt?" and they were responding, "Why not? What's wrong with it if he is?" After a while, they just told CL to "Why are you asking us? Why don't you go ask him?"

The point is that PG and the others really had no problem with it. Just CL.

They've primarily teachers, and have been coming to Vegas once a year for the past three. I didn't get any contact info, sorry. All three were married, anyway.