Incognito Heels

[Magickman]

Shy about heels, does not describe me. I let them show. Wearing heels of 3" to 5", out and about, is common for me. Most men ignore it, but women often say they like it. When I go out socially and for dancing, it is usually in stiletto boots of 4" or 5". The women love the boots, and are always trying to get me to dance while I am wearing them. Except in rain, snow, and mud, I normally wear heels for business, but sensible styles of around 3" or 4". For those who are concerned about the adverse consequences of wearing heels in public; Don't worry. Nothing bad happens. Out in the world, folks have their own problems and priorities. They don't care what shoes you wear.

[joeshoething]

I really like these heels, and would wear them on a daily basis if I had them.

[Bubba136]

I really like these heels, and would wear them on a daily basis if I had them.

What is preventing you from buying a pair?

[Histiletto]

Since the pupose of this thread is to tally men in the amount of high heels they are willing to show as they are out heeling, I feel there must be some qualifiers included. I can't help think this thread is aimed at those who risk their reputation wearing high heels with the feminine qualities. For those who wear heels with the perceived masculine properties, the poll taken would be skewed and not realistic as to the social acceptance. With this qualifier, the subdued view is for any man wearing women's high heels with a portion of the toebox showing. It's very obvious to any one with an ounce of observation skills, no matter now much of the footwear is showing. They may not be able to reveal the particulars about the heels, but your feet positions or silouettes are obvious give-a-ways. Now, in the moderate view, the wearer is willing to exhibit just enough of the shoes for their identification, as to whether they are pumps, boots, or sandals with wedgies, platforms, blocks, or stilettos, but still keep them covered for the most part. Then of course, the show off view reveals all the footwear, leaving no doubt as to the feminine qualities. I am the moderate heeler and in my bolder moments, I have no intention of hiding the fact of being male or that I'm wearing stilettos, for it is my desire to let the world around me to know it is my right to choose what I want to wear. SOAPBOXING: The idea of using an incognite identity comes from having to be deceptive in presenting the vision of a certain status a person should not be able to achieve in the eyes of others, due to the social perception of who and what they are. Many a tale from history has told of actual events and the exaggerated wishes in author's yarns of people having to be deceitful about their identity so the public perception would not compromise their purposes for such secrecy. Whether these deceits were for a person's or a nation's security, the changing of social status, the outcome of business or war, or the matters of love interest, they have been a big part of how we have come to view our world. Could all of this deceit have been avoided had we been correctly taught concerning the realities of who we are, so that we wouldn't have to hide behind the trumped up social ideals of perfection to be accepted? In a clearer perception of personalities, even the simple matter of what a person wears would be in its rightful place: a matter of an individual's free agency which includes their right of personal choice as to how they want to present their appearance. Maybe this concept is beyond the scope of reality, because of the views and policies we have become accustomed too. Yet, even right now, we are in a global conflict, trying to change peoples perceptions of life to make their world better in our eyes. However, they look at it as an invasion into their world, no matter how badly they wanted it to become better before we tried our version of aid for their plight. Love and associating with them for true understanding, while using universally correct principles as they govern themselves will achieve far greater world harmony than forced reindoctrination. The process sometimes can be a harder way to initiate and even be more costly over a greater period, but the immediate lessening of the mortality toll will we be well worth the effort and who knows the friends one can find even among apparent adversaries.

[Evan Radio]

I picked subdued... I am new to heeling though. ... as my confidence builds, I may venture out. I would wear them to the right club or party. Just not everyday... daytime... loud and proud. I hope one day I can be more bold.

[Histiletto]

Thanks Evan Radio for sharing. Your thoughts convey the general sentiments of this forum. There has to be a way that we can set the stage, so to speak, and open the door so that our heeling can be accepted without upsetting the people around us. You've heard of the walk a mile in heels events. How about challenging your friends to join you in practicing for such an event and then if enough interest is shown, check in to see how to make it official. Perhaps engaging in a conversation with good friends about each others fantasies and casually bring in your interest in wearing heels. Organize costume parties and wear heels as part of a disguise. I heard of some schools having crossdressing day, where the girls have to wear boy's stuff and boys wear girl's stuff. Get others to dare you to wear heels for a day and then get as many as you can to join in also. Once the idea of guys wearing heels is not such a forbidden activity in your area, finding acceptance would become a lot easier. At least, you'd have memories of heeling with your friends.

[joeshoething]

As cheap as they are, I cannot afford them. For now I just have to make due with the one pair of heels I have, which are too flashy to wear in public (Gold, High, and Strappy). If I had a pair of wedge sneakers, I would definately wear them. On a side note, I have purchased some heel pads, and put them in my regular shoes. They lift my heel about an inch on the inside of my shoes and nobody is the wiser. They give me the feeling of wearing heels, and nobody knows.

[Guest]

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT&item=260387233725

[GTMHP]

There's nothing "subdued" about red patent pumps. They literally scream "hey world, look at me.!" Any man wearing them in public has to have a lot of self-confidence, not to mention a huge set of balls. Well done, Jeff....Can't wait to see the pictures.

I must say Jeff gives me something shoot for!

GTMHP

[Dawn HH]

JeffB as well as several others here have given us all a lot to shoot for when it comes to wearing heels in public. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[kikepa]

Before I begin, I'd like to say that I added to your reputation in response to post #66, as I thought it was right on target!

Since the pupose of this thread is to tally men in the amount of high heels they are willing to show as they are out heeling, I feel there must be some qualifiers included. I can't help think this thread is aimed at those who risk their reputation wearing high heels with the feminine qualities. For those who wear heels with the perceived masculine properties, the poll taken would be skewed and not realistic as to the social acceptance.

I think the title is somewhat misleading, as the poll itself doesn't appear to be about "incognito" heels, but rather, about one's comfort level with respect to letting others know you're wearing heels.

With this qualifier, the subdued view is for any man wearing women's high heels with a portion of the toebox showing. It's very obvious to any one with an ounce of observation skills, no matter now much of the footwear is showing.

I completely disagree. Shoefly used to have (maybe he still does) some pics of his heeled boots. Beneath jeans the toebox looks like any other pair of black men's workboots. I have some similar pairs of heels I wear out, one of which no-one ever twigs on, despite the 3-inch full block heel, and while the other is 3.5 inch tapered stacked heel on a leather boot, the rounded toebox gives nothing away, regardless of their observation skills.

Then of course, the show off view reveals all the footwear, leaving no doubt as to the feminine qualities.

Just because it has a heel?

What about this picture? Is he "feminine" because he's wearing a heel? Are his heels feminine? He can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think thighhighbootguy's boots aren't feminine so much as they are his choice of footwear. I'm not into thighhighs, but I've several pair of kneehigh boots, some of which are more masculine and othes of which are more feminine.

I have no intention of hiding the fact of being male or that I'm wearing stilettos, for it is my desire to let the world around me to know it is my right to choose what I want to wear.

Good for you!

The idea of using an incognite identity comes from having to be deceptive in presenting the vision of a certain status a person should not be able to achieve in the eyes of others, due to the social perception of who and what they are.

And yet 99% of all usernames of online message forums are incognite identities, regardless of whether the forums are discussing heel wear or gardening, so I think don't think it's necessarily "deceptive," and there are other reasons why we humans don't advertise our true identities, either online, or in public, whether we're wearing heels or not.

Many a tale from history has told of actual events and the exaggerated wishes in author's yarns of people having to be deceitful about their identity so the public perception would not compromise their purposes for such secrecy. Whether these deceits were for a person's or a nation's security, the changing of social status, the outcome of business or war, or the matters of love interest, they have been a big part of how we have come to view our world.

Well, that sounds like war, espionage, and similar intrigue. I think this issue involves one of fashion.

Could all of this deceit have been avoided had we been correctly taught concerning the realities of who we are, so that we wouldn't have to hide behind the trumped up social ideals of perfection to be accepted?

I think part of the reluctance on the part of our parents, teachers, guardians and elders to teach us the realities of who we are, and part of their drive to help us conform to our society, is that conformity is a powerful social motivator, and the stigma of non-conformity, while it's seriously abated from most Western societies due to global homogenization of cultures, remains a powerful motivator.

Thus, merely teaching us to be who we are isn't enough. The re-education of society must continue in order to fully allow for individual expression without societal backlash.

In a clearer perception of personalities, even the simple matter of what a person wears would be in its rightful place: a matter of an individual's free agency which includes their right of personal choice as to how they want to present their appearance.

I wore a dark gray sarong and sandals (men's flats) to the Rennaissance Festival this summer, and despite the wild garb worn by many, there, including painted fingernails (usually black) and makeup (usually mascara, eyeliner, and eyeshadow) worn by many men, my simple sarong was a suprising head-turner. I didn't mean to - I thought I'd blend!

But no....

Yet, even right now, we are in a global conflict, trying to change peoples perceptions of life to make their world better in our eyes.

I think in some ways our efforts are good (towards cooperation/collaboration/nutrician/sanitation/basic medical care), but in others they're off-target (any attempt to change their culture, religion, politics, etc.).

However, they look at it as an invasion into their world, no matter how badly they wanted it to become better before we tried our version of aid for their plight.

I'd be just as upset if someone told me I had to change my way of thinking...

Love and associating with them for true understanding, while using universally correct principles as they govern themselves will achieve far greater world harmony than forced reindoctrination.

I agree, completely!

The process sometimes can be a harder way to initiate and even be more costly over a greater period, but the immediate lessening of the mortality toll will we be well worth the effort and who knows the friends one can find even among apparent adversaries.

Actually, I think it's a lot less costly over the long term than our apparent tendancies towards conflict, but this is beginning to border on politics, so I'll not comment further, except to get back to the thread topic.

Throughout history, when people have engaged in any activity or behavior which:

1. Does not violate expressly written religious prohibitions

2. Does not directly affect the wellbeing of others

3. Is done so in a polite, regal manner

4. Is continued, politely, respectfully, and quietly, in spite of any opposition

That activity or behavior gradually becomes accepted by society. It takes generation or two, though! Examples include women's wearing of pants, women's short hair, male earring wear, male long hair wear.

Male heel wear in the 70s came and went, as measured by a percentage of the male population who did it. Male heel wear since then has often bordered on (if not crossed) fetish lines, which does nothing to further widestream acceptance, and a lot to harm it.

The more men wear heels in a moderate fashion, in casual settings, in fashionably appropriate attire, the more it'll come to be accepted.

[boots_1000]

I am also definitely subdued. There's no way I will wear them out in public nor reveal this with my family, friends and loved ones. I know for the fact that they will simply not accept the idea. However that does not stop me from meeting others that love heels as much as I do and even trading pictures. Of course the pictures will all be be waist down. I don on my stiletto boots at the first chance I get when I have time alone to myself at home. Also I have no objection with others wearing them out in public and I even encourage it.

[skirtsnhose]

Shout it out loud! It's awfully hard to hide the heels when wearing them with a skirt.

[Magic Heels]

Initially, I voted moderate but since I have just driven to the south of France, with several stops in a kilt and boots with a 3 inch block heel, I suppose I am now shouting it out loud. I have had several compliments on the kilt but no comment on the boots until this morning when a young woman dissolved into a fit of giggles in a supermarche. I glared at her and she shut up !!

[roniheels]

"Male heel wear in the 70s came and went, as measured by a percentage of the male population who did it. Male heel wear since then has often bordered on (if not crossed) fetish lines, which does nothing to further widestream acceptance, and a lot to harm it.

The more men wear heels in a moderate fashion, in casual settings, in fashionably appropriate attire, the more it'll come to be accepted." (kikepa)

I might have to agree with this. Even in the 70's, the acceptance of men in high heels was a gradual acceptance that coencided with the disco era of (almost) anything goes. There was not even total acceptance back then. And I don't think there ever will be now, unfortunately. But, fashionably and not flamboyantly done, I too believe it will be more accepted.

[Crushinboots]

Magic Heels you said it there my man!!!! I glared at her and she shut up !! What more can you say than that. One of the few times I have worn knee boots over my jeans was once in the Peak District when I was out for the day with my female friend that I live with and we went into this cafe, it was near closing time and we were cold and in need of a brew. One of the girls who were serving saw my boots, went back to the serving/kitchen area and together with her mates went into a fit of giggles so I guess I glared at her. Or another time we were in a cafe in Derbyshire that is a bit posh and I had on my tan knee boots under my jeans but the heels were visible and I guess I was in one of my I dont care moods cos these two posh women started talking about my boots so I winked at one of them and you should have seen the look of shock and horror it was priceless I think those boots in your avatar are great and I was wondering where you bought them from and not only that you are an inspiration to me to get a kilt myself

[OleHeeler]

These, from Nine West look like regular cowboy boots....just with higher heels.

http://www.ninewest.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-ninewest-Site/default/Search-Show?q=lyla

http://www.ninewest.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-ninewest-Site/default/Search-Show?q=gorn

I purchased the "Gorn," but haven't received them, yet. I saw them in the store and they look are likely to resemble guy's cowboy boots under jeans. The heel just looks narrow from the rear, which may or may not be identified by onlookers.

Why the chose the name from the classic reptile like alien character that fought Captin Kirk in the 1974 episode, I don't know.

[ChipsHH]

Now, imagine the Oxfords with heels on them, granted they're the high heels and not the actual ones on a guy shoe. Could someone, perhaps, take a glance at them under pants, with them in reasonable view, and declare they were the male or female Oxfords? (If they were on the guy's foot, by the way) And would it also be a factor if there were a platform on them?

[Wali89]

In public: no! but some of my Friends know, I'm wearing high heels

[Bubba136]

Now, imagine the Oxfords with heels on them, granted they're the high heels and not the actual ones on a guy shoe.

Could someone, perhaps, take a glance at them under pants, with them in reasonable view, and declare they were the male or female Oxfords? (If they were on the guy's foot, by the way)

And would it also be a factor if there were a platform on them?

They could if they got a good look at the heels. There isn't a pair of men's shoes made with heels that shape and that high. Don't fool yourself. It doesn't matter how hard you try to disguise your shoes, someone, somewhere and at sometime will take notice and figure out that you are wearing women's shoes.

[Guest]

well, Bubba136, to those who do somehow figure out that I'm wearing "Women's" heels I could REALLY care less, life is way too short to start thinking about that!!!!

[Bubba136]

well, Bubba136, to those who do somehow figure out that I'm wearing "Women's" heels I could REALLY care less, life is way too short to start thinking about that!!!!

Actually, I was responding to HHDude's post. Just answering his question. While I'm really glad that you don't care what anyone thinks about you wearing woman's shoes, I am curious as to why you chose to think I was curious about what you thought?

[JohnH]

I never wear heels with pants, only with skirts or dresses, so there is no way I can hide them. On the other hand I don't make it an effort to show off the heels. The only shoes I wear with pants are traditional men's shoes.