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New To Heels - Questions.


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Hi there, I am new to heels and would like some help. Never bought a pair, women have such great footwear, much nicer than us blokes norms.

1) Sizing, what size would I take for heels? Are the sizes from male/female the same or do I need to size up?

2) Socks or Stockings? What would I wear underneath? What would be appropriate for heels? Would I need to shave those hairy as hell legs of mine if it was hosiery?

3) If I was to go with my male attire I’d be fine. However I want to eventually become adventurous and wear a skirt. What skirts are best to try first. Do I just go for a mini skirt first? Another question, what underwear would I use, male or female - or is that just personal choice?

4) How long did it take to adjust your walking style? Again, should I start with a small 2.5 inch heel then go to something like a 6 inch heel?

5) What are some great brands that go up to a UK size 10/10.5 men’s? I’ve seen OnlyMaker on Amazon, are they good?

At the start I’d like to get a nice pair of 2.5 inch Oxford Lace Up heels as they look so cute, eventually I’d like to have some 6inch f*** me heel boots with all studs coming out, rockstar type heels I’d like to wear to gigs when we get allowed back to them.  Would I be better off starting with some Cuban heels? I love the look of the closed heels like boots, oxfords, ankle boots. Really don’t care for pumps/strapy numbers.

Kind Thanks.

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Welcome to HHP.

Sizing is a perennial problem. In the UK and European sizing systems, male and female sizes are supposed to be the same. Unlike the US system where they differ. Conversion between systems is also inconsistent. For example UK9 is meant to be the same as EU43. I've had shoes marked UK9 that range from loose on my feet to impossible to put on. Shoes sold for women tend to be narrower than their men's counterparts.

Choices about legwear, underwear, skirts etc are purely personal. HHP is not a cross dressing forum. There are plenty of other places for that.

A small heel of 2" to 2.5" is a sensible place to start. Heel height is not a competition for most people.

 

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1) Sizing on all shoes, men and women, will be subject to variation and the best way is to try them on...

2) I only wear boots so I just wear socks.

3) If you are not used to wearing a skirt I feel like starting with a mini skirt is quite the plunge.  I started with mid-length pleated styles that are similar to how men wear kilts, and it was a comfortable way to get the experience of wearing a skirt.  At those lengths underwear probably doesn’t matter but I wear briefs to keep things simple.

4) I found that 2.5” heels required no real conscious adjustment to walking and mobility, so it is a great height to start with.  Work your way up like a half inch at a time, it’s fun!  You’d be surprised how much difference there is between the slopes (subtracting any platform lift) of 3, 3.5, 4, etc. and certainly by the time you get to 4” I feel like you are getting most of the physical and visual effect of heels.  6” with no platform seems solidly ballet heels territory, or perhaps you are referring to platforms, which isn’t quite the same type of physical challenge.  

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Thanks for your kind replies.

Sizing seems to be all over the place, apart from a couple of brands that have them pretty bang on. Only Maker being one according to the thread earlier on I saw.

I am referring to platforms, a different look from almost ballet territory, but it’s a look that I like.

Already planning to get a pair of 2 inch to 2.5 inch heels, block heel Oxfords probably as they are cute, but also look masculine too.

A final question, is there a difference in feel on a stiletto to a block heel??

Much Thanks!!!

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46 minutes ago, VirginHeels said:

A final question, is there a difference in feel on a stiletto to a block heel??

There definitely is a difference.  Block heels tend to be quite stable, no ankle wobble, and also tend to distribute the weight across more of the foot.  However, they can feel clunky.  I sometimes feel as if I'm clopping along on block heels.  Stilettos are, as would be expected given the very small heel contact point, a bit less stable.  They also tend put more pressure on the fore foot.  That said, I actually feel a bit more comfortable in a narrower heel, all else being equal.  They are to me more graceful to walk in.

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There is even difference between stilettos. there are all sorts of variations. It matters what the heel is made out of (flex) and position on the shoe and the angle it comes out at. In other threads talk about how the show is designed, long-toed/short-toed; how step the rise is an if it is supportive or not.  We each have different foot shapes, I know mine is different from most, large toe box, high arch, thin heel.  I wear mostly size 10, but I need size 11 in some brands (Jessica Simpson and Nine West). So you have to experiment with sizes and brands at the beginning. 

And repeat after me

"I will not purge."

Edited by Cali
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“I will not purge”

I have found some styles I like, some a little higher than the 2 to 2.5 inch I’d like to go wit to begin with.

Onewus Women Ankle Booties with Pointed Toe and Thin Heel https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B076MSNDDR/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_dGK7FbWKNTEK2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

Vimisaoi Women's Vintage Oxfords Brogues Wingtip Chunky Block Heel Shoes, Lace-up Perforated Stacked Pumps Dress Saddle Shoes Gift https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07RRHTQZV/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_EKK7Fb1W4HE4R?psc=1
 

SJJH Ankle Boots with High Heel and Thick Platform Sexy Women Fashion Boots with Lace Up and Large Size https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B074XWJM5L/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_4KK7FbZ6Z6WTA?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

Only maker Women's Platform Round Toe Boots Stiletto High Heeled Lace-up Booties https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B087WJHJSL/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_iMK7FbYBKCHK7?psc=1 (Theese are so extra I love the look!!!)

Onewus Fashion Women Ankle Boots with Mid Block Heel https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B076MV8GP1/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_GMK7Fb5WC77C3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

Onewus Fashion Ankle Boots with Lace Up and High Block Heel All Match Women Boots with Simple Design https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B076MS7L4K/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_kQK7FbSDRCVPS?psc=1
 

What are some good brands that can do a 10/10.5 in the Uk? I might just try a stiletto as it sounds as if I can walk in them, I can in anything.

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On 12/31/2020 at 7:45 AM, VirginHeels said:

Hi there, I am new to heels and would like some help. Never bought a pair, women have such great footwear, much nicer than us blokes norms.

1) Sizing, what size would I take for heels? Are the sizes from male/female the same or do I need to size up?

As a general rule of thumb, 2 sizes up from your male size.  Why that is the case nobody knows. Also as a rule sizings are over the place and some brands are true to size, most run smaller. Zara always runs very small, Italian shoe brands still haven't discovered that wide feet exist. As a rule of thumb a male size EU41, my size, translates as a size UK8 and a US10. Which means I have to get size EU43/UK10/US12 in women's shoes. To further complicate things I've found that you can get 1 or even 2 sizes smaller for sandals though. Or ballerinas for some strange reason.  And God help you if you EVER order anything from Aliexpress, because the sizings there go all over the place.

As another rule of thumb whenever trying out a new brand order the cheapest pair of pumps first to see if it fits, and if it does or not, adjust your sizing when ordering the really cool shoes you want.

On 12/31/2020 at 7:45 AM, VirginHeels said:

2) Socks or Stockings? What would I wear underneath? What would be appropriate for heels? Would I need to shave those hairy as hell legs of mine if it was hosiery?

These I prefer neither. But in general stockings are better as socks might add a little more volume to your foot size. Unless you have a pair that is too wide, then a pair of socks would do fine.

On 12/31/2020 at 7:45 AM, VirginHeels said:

3) If I was to go with my male attire I’d be fine. However I want to eventually become adventurous and wear a skirt. What skirts are best to try first. Do I just go for a mini skirt first? Another question, what underwear would I use, male or female - or is that just personal choice?

Do whatever you want. We live in the time of get your freak out. I only ever saw 1 guy in a skirt and that made me go what the hell? And I think long skirt, medium skirt, mini skirt, it will draw the same response. I also believe that you should do whatever you want, but I also believe that male and female bodies are different, and what works on the one will not always work as well on another. To me, minis skirts are like very high heels, they scream come fuck me to the observer. The wearer shows something off and knows they're showing off something. I love seeing them on women, I'm not sure they work on men.

On 12/31/2020 at 7:45 AM, VirginHeels said:

4) How long did it take to adjust your walking style? Again, should I start with a small 2.5 inch heel then go to something like a 6 inch heel?

I've never had anything lower then 4". That feels quite comfortable to me, and rather low. 5" to 5" is where I'm at. All single sole of course because I detest platforms. But those 6" Pleaser stripper heels with a 2" platform are incredibly comfortable to walk in. That's why strippers, who spend hours upon hours walking and dancing in them, adopted them and made them famous to begin with. I reckon getting a pair would be excellent for starters and Pleaser also has versions without the platform. 6" heels with single soles will take hefty amount of practice though. Although your large size will probably help big time. I suspect at a size UK10 mens size you won't hardly notice 2,5" heels.

On 12/31/2020 at 7:45 AM, VirginHeels said:

5) What are some great brands that go up to a UK size 10/10.5 men’s? I’ve seen OnlyMaker on Amazon, are they good?

Pleaser,  size US13/14 I guess, Onlymaker same sizes, get them at https://www.onlymaker.com/ not Amazon as they have more choice there, and the old Leatherworks shoes sold by Skyscrapers and now https://www.luxuryfetishheels.com/ UK12.

Those are the brands I trust right now. Anything else is trial and error.

On 12/31/2020 at 7:45 AM, VirginHeels said:

At the start I’d like to get a nice pair of 2.5 inch Oxford Lace Up heels as they look so cute, eventually I’d like to have some 6inch f*** me heel boots with all studs coming out, rockstar type heels I’d like to wear to gigs when we get allowed back to them.  Would I be better off starting with some Cuban heels? I love the look of the closed heels like boots, oxfords, ankle boots. Really don’t care for pumps/strapy numbers.

Kind Thanks.

Get whatever you want, but know that wearing the really high 6" or higher in single sole stuff is for advanced users. And always always always ALWAYS order some pumps from online stores first, cause they tend to be the cheapest ones and buying more expensive boots to try out their sizes is just plain a waste of money.

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On 12/31/2020 at 12:45 AM, VirginHeels said:

4) How long did it take to adjust your walking style? Again, should I start with a small 2.5 inch heel then go to something like a 6 inch heel?

 

5) What are some great brands that go up to a UK size 10/10.5 men’s? I’ve seen OnlyMaker on Amazon, are they good?

At the start I’d like to get a nice pair of 2.5 inch Oxford Lace Up heels as they look so cute, eventually I’d like to have some 6inch f*** me heel boots with all studs coming out, rockstar type heels I’d like to wear to gigs when we get allowed back to them.  Would I be better off starting with some Cuban heels? I love the look of the closed heels like boots, oxfords, ankle boots. Really don’t care for pumps/strapy numbers.

Kind Thanks.

It depends on the individual. It took me several years and hundreds of miles to perfect my walking style, and I still don't have it as good as I would like. On the other hand,  @Cali says there was no real learning curve for him. I suppose it partly depends on what you want for a finished product. If you want a really graceful, effortless style walk, it very well could take a while. And yes, 2 1/2" oxfords would be an awesome place to start, not only because of the lower heel height, but because of the lace-up design. You at least won't have to worry about your shoes falling off like you might with a pump/court. How soon you could wear 6" platform boots is open to question. It might be very quickly, or it might be a while. It depends upon a combination of your natural talent and your dedication to practice. Kind of like playing music, isn't it?

Edited by mlroseplant
Re-worded for clarity
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28 minutes ago, mlroseplant said:

 How soon you could wear 6" platform boots is open to question. It might be very quickly, or it might be a while. It depends upon a combination of your natural talent and your dedication to practice. Kind of like playing music, isn't it?

Platforms can be deceptive and treacherous. A small bump in the ground that you'd hardly notice in flat shoes and cause no trouble in non-platform heels can easily turn an ankle in platforms. I have a pair of goth style platform boots, 5" heels, 3" platform, that are very comfortable and easy to walk in. I've had a couple of near misses.

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9 minutes ago, at9 said:

Platforms can be deceptive and treacherous. A small bump in the ground that you'd hardly notice in flat shoes and cause no trouble in non-platform heels can easily turn an ankle in platforms. I have a pair of goth style platform boots, 5" heels, 3" platform, that are very comfortable and easy to walk in. I've had a couple of near misses.

Quite true, quite true. In addition to the platform height itself, there seem to be other factors I have been unable to determine which might make one shoe more treacherous than another. I have some platforms which react violently to stepping on a pebble (or perhaps in your case, @VirginHeels, a microphone cable), and others that cause very little trouble. All I can say is, don't go to a gig wearing "untried" shoes! The last thing you want to do is fall down wearing giant heels in front of a bunch of people. That would be rather embarrassing.

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Virginheels, I surely don't want to so/advise anything that will discourage your enthusiasm and excitement!   I like the idea of starting out in lower block heels, even though you really want to jump into 6" stilettos...  Give yourself some time to build experience gradually in heels and outfits.....Venturing out in untried/ill fitting heels will lead to negative experiences, and I don't want you to get discouraged...  I too would advise visiting thrift shops and online sites for good used heels, so you can get a better idea about sizing/fit/quality.  Just because you spend a lot of money does not guarantee a particular pair will fit properly and be comfortable to walk in.  Having a beautiful pair of boots/heels that are hard to walk in is the ultimate frustration for sure...

As for skirts and other accessories, so much depends on you and your physique.  Not every guy can pull these outfits off well, but when "it works", guys look great....I suppose the same can be said for women, trying to wear outfits that aren't suited for their figures can lead to a poor outcome as well.   Do you have anyone that can help you with outfits that will provide encouragement along with honesty?  In the end, all that matters is how you feel about your look in any particular outfit.  The key is confidence... I'm guessing you have plenty of confidence, just from reading your posts.  

Glad to have you here with us and can't wait to hear about all your upcoming adventures!

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Yes, I went to 4 inch heels and was able to walk in them immediately.

BUT -- there are circumstances that contributed to this:

  • I had been wearing 1.5 - 2.5 inch heels for about a year and I had a 2.5 inch heel from late 70's to early 90's.
  • I had been through three ankle reconstructions, so I had been doing years of physical therapy on my ankles and walking on my toes, toe lifts, balance, etc.
  • I just had a major leg injury where I couldn't walk unless I was on my toes, I couldn't even stand.  I had to raise both heels by 4 inches to heal.

I knew my size, so I purchased some 4 inch heels from the discount rack at nearby DSW during a break. I tried them on in a middle of a lecture. Got up and within a minute I was lecturing without thinking about the heels. I could walk for the first time in over a week.

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Thanks for all your kind replies today.

Ive found a pair of Pleaser ankle heels l adore. Wee black stiletto 3 inch heel, a lace front and a zip to get in/out of quickly, more in than out I hope. I’ve gone with 3 inch as to be a little more adventurous and get used to a little more height into things.

Thing is now, what size is my UK 10 for that brand? Is that a US 12 or 13? According to their size chart it’s a 13, is that a wise size.

I can seriously see my first purchase coming soon. Especially as I’ve watched a lot of Heels of Hollywood videos on Pleaser shoes today. They seem to be really comfortable and cute!

Thanks to you all!!

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You are certainly welcome.  Don’t go away!  Please keep us updated on your progress.  Perhaps your experiences can help others sorting out similar problems or providing answers to similar problems.  

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Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.

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I’m not gonna go anywhere, I’m going to stay a part of this community.

Have decided that a size 14 is probably the wise way to go for these: https://pleasershoes.com/collections/all/products/divine-1020?variant=42676432325

On size, is that the right way to go, or should I go one size smaller?

Im already looking at stocking/suspenders to wear with them!!

Will be glad to help anybody else on their journey!!! Especially to those Only Maker 6 inch platform boots I would love to have one day!!!

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I like to add one thing to this conversation. Money.

Don't go crazy until you find your size.  Be sure that you can return it if it does fit right. Life's too short for shoe that don't fit. Some here buy pre-loved, some buy inexpensive shoes, some buy expensive name brands, the only thing that really matters is fit.

.

 

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For UK10 the usual conversions are EU44, US women 12, US men 11. But as several have said, sizing is a bit of a jungle.

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@VirginHeelsPeople have said so many sensible things here, I hate to add more, lest I add to your confusion. This whole sizing business will probably be a bit of trial and error. Luckily for you, you seem to like boots, which do allow a bit more room for error, for three reasons. 1) You don't have to worry about them falling off, unlike with some other styles. This means that if they're too big, it's not necessarily a catastrophe. 2) You have several hosiery options if the boots don't fit quite like you'd planned. You can wear anything from thick wool socks to bare feet (not a recommended practice with plastic shoes), or anything in between. 3) There is plenty of room for fitment aids, if socks alone don't do the trick. Of course, none of this matters if your boots are too small. In that case, they're just going to hurt you, and we don't want that!

I have only one pair of Pleasers, and they are size 9. They're a little tight, but not unreasonably so, but they are pumps/courts. I usually take a UK 7, though some would argue 6 1/2. No way it's a 6, as the Pleaser size chart suggests. Usually, that translates to EU 39, except when it doesn't. In certain brands, typically Italian in flavor, it translates to 40. I would hesitate strongly about going with size 14, if at first you thought you might possibly take a 12. I'm not sure how wide your feet are, but just guessing, 13 might not be a bad place to start. If they're too big, you can either return them or wear them with socks. I'm just afraid 14 is going to be way too big.

Having said that, I have owned several pairs of boots over the years that were technically too big, but never more than one size too big. I believe I have only one pair left that would fit that category, and they're not even technically boots, they are (to me, anyway) clearly oxford style shoes. I will probably never get rid of them, because they are my first pair of truly high heeled shoes. But they are too big. They are U.S. Women's 9 1/2, and I really take a 9. I can easily wear these shoes with thick wool hiking socks. If that doesn't work looks-wise, I have to wear a pair of dress socks over no-show ankle socks. That works out just fine. I could never wear thin socks or nylons with these shoes, it is not possible.

 

19 hours ago, Cali said:

Yes, I went to 4 inch heels and was able to walk in them immediately.

BUT -- there are circumstances that contributed to this:

  • I had been wearing 1.5 - 2.5 inch heels for about a year and I had a 2.5 inch heel from late 70's to early 90's.
  • I had been through three ankle reconstructions, so I had been doing years of physical therapy on my ankles and walking on my toes, toe lifts, balance, etc.
  • I just had a major leg injury where I couldn't walk unless I was on my toes, I couldn't even stand.  I had to raise both heels by 4 inches to heal.

I knew my size, so I purchased some 4 inch heels from the discount rack at nearby DSW during a break. I tried them on in a middle of a lecture. Got up and within a minute I was lecturing without thinking about the heels. I could walk for the first time in over a week.

Aha! And now we know, as Paul Harvey used to say, the rest of the story. I never knew there was any rest of the story. I just figured some people are luckier than others, and can just walk in heels easily right away. I am not such a person. Oh, I could walk just fine in short order, if by "walk" you mean simply "not fall down." I can also water ski and ice skate without falling down, but I'm not necessarily very pleasant to look at while "not falling down," if you get my meaning.

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VirginHeels : Welcome to the group that know how to have fun . Sizing can be a problem . Not all shoe makers - manufactures - sizes are always the same. One high heel shoe size 44 EUR can be a perfect fit with Onlymaker and to loose or tight with Wonder Heels. If I meet a guy who appears to have an interest in wearing high heels I direct him to a local shoe store - The Chamber - to try on there shoes, Then go order on line. "Providing he does not like the shoes from that store." My first pair of high heels had a 5" high heel. The only way to get used to the higher heel is to buy a pair and practice in them. Best of luck.  DSCF4008.thumb.JPG.7f3ee03c19cb11dad67a05957b8c5b5d.JPG

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12 hours ago, Cali said:

I like to add one thing to this conversation. Money.

Don't go crazy until you find your size.  Be sure that you can return it if it does fit right. Life's too short for shoe that don't fit. Some here buy pre-loved, some buy inexpensive shoes, some buy expensive name brands, the only thing that really matters is fit.

Oh yeah, that! At first I thought I was a size US14 and got me a lot of stuff in that range. Eventually I noticed I had a lot of real estate at either end, experimented with smaller sizes and found my true size. And getting 2nd hand is also a very good way to try out things at a lower cost. As for starting at a low height, me personally I went straight to 5" to 5.5" right away. This wasn't by choice or desire but because that was the only thing available to me. In 1990 there was no internet. No webshops. What was in retail didn't fit me and the only available shoes to me were the really high fetish heels in sex shops. That was it and I had to do it with that. So I never got into the habit of wearing anything lower then 4" and frankly I'd sooner put on a pair a sneakers.

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2 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

Aha! And now we know, as Paul Harvey used to say, the rest of the story. I never knew there was any rest of the story. I just figured some people are luckier than others, and can just walk in heels easily right away. I am not such a person. Oh, I could walk just fine in short order, if by "walk" you mean simply "not fall down." I can also water ski and ice skate without falling down, but I'm not necessarily very pleasant to look at while "not falling down," if you get my meaning.

After years of 4 sets of incline ankle lifts per ankle per day, your ankles are strong and your balance is great.  (This is the same exercise Korean Air stewardess use to wear heels while flying.)

I had found the shoes at DSW and tried on my shorter -wider foot there.  I put them on during a (catch-up) break from lecturing. Stood up, found my balance in under a minute and 10 minutes later I was walking around and not think about the heels. After two hours, I got on my cart, got in my car and drove home. After over week not being able to stand or walk without tippy toeing around, it was fantantic to walk.

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Rule number one: Never wear ugly!  Lace up oxfords in plain kidd leather can be very cute. Unfortunately, shoe manufacturers  think you won't buy them without a bunch of extra holes, stitching ETC. I have a few pairs of female ortho shoes in my bunch Plain lace up leather very comfy. I guess I like shoes that are extremely feminine or ortho.  I enjoy both at times.

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To be completely honest, I’ve been thinking that I should do a 5K walk in heels for charity? It would give me an incredible amount of time walking with them and would give me time to adjust almost free. It would also give me time to order maybe 3 different types of cute heel.

I am physically fit as I do 7Km walks in all weathers in normal speed running shows.

Only thing I’d need to change is the route as my route has many changes in terrain at present. After, it would be worth still wearing them as not doing so would be ouch for the body.

Thanks one and all!!

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On 1/2/2021 at 6:25 PM, VirginHeels said:

To be completely honest, I’ve been thinking that I should do a 5K walk in heels for charity? It would give me an incredible amount of time walking with them and would give me time to adjust almost free. 

I wouldn’t wait for a special event, just start taking walks through the store, down the street, and live in your heels for a while.  It’s fun!

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I agree 100% with ping74. If you want to wear heels out then just do it. I do it all the time and I have no regrets what so ever.

Happy Heeling,

blujay

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Personally I wouldn't do a charity walk even if I had the desire to walk outdoors. I just don't like the charities that organize them.

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I've done three Walk A Mile In Her Shoes walks. Keep a little tube of lip Vaseline in your pocket. Stop and apply to any part getting rubbed the wrong way. It will save you from blisters. When doing the walks it feels like getting away with something taboo. Afterwards we sit and eat putting up our feet and admire our heels.

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