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SoCalGal

My curiousity is sparked

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Good Day to all.

I happened upon your website from something I saw while on Pintrest. Being the curious person I am, I just had to look further. In doing so,  I read some postings from some members and of course, as a dumb blonde, finally got the gist of it. 

What I don’t get or understand is: WHY?

Because of my gender, I’m expected to wear heels when wearing certain clothing, especially to work. Some judges even require women to wear a dress and heels in their courtroom. Ugggg!! I used to think that it had to be a man that invented them just to see women suffer. Although I buy the high-end (a persons feet and comfort are VERY important) labels such as Bally, Jimmy Choo, etc, they’re still a, and excuse the term of art o use, BITCH and hurt like hell after so long. 

I’m not criticizing anyone so please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying or asking. I’m just somewhat perplexed why someone would want their feet to hurt. That is, unless they are more comfortable on a larger, tougher and more firm foot, which in that case, I concede based on ignorance.

By the way, I have a great admiration for those who are doing what makes them happy in their respective lives rather than conform to what society refers to as “Social Norms.” Cacaa!!

JQ

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1 hour ago, SoCalGal said:

Good Day to all.

I happened upon your website from something I saw while on Pintrest. Being the curious person I am, I just had to look further. In doing so,  I read some postings from some members and of course, as a dumb blonde, finally got the gist of it. 

What I don’t get or understand is: WHY?

Because of my gender, I’m expected to wear heels when wearing certain clothing, especially to work. Some judges even require women to wear a dress and heels in their courtroom. Ugggg!! I used to think that it had to be a man that invented them just to see women suffer. Although I buy the high-end (a persons feet and comfort are VERY important) labels such as Bally, Jimmy Choo, etc, they’re still a, and excuse the term of art o use, BITCH and hurt like hell after so long. 

I’m not criticizing anyone so please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying or asking. I’m just somewhat perplexed why someone would want their feet to hurt. That is, unless they are more comfortable on a larger, tougher and more firm foot, which in that case, I concede based on ignorance.

By the way, I have a great admiration for those who are doing what makes them happy in their respective lives rather than conform to what society refers to as “Social Norms.” Cacaa!!

JQ

Heels hurt most when they don't fit right. I'm a guy who has worn heels for over 30 yrs, mostly over 4.5 inches. I wear them because I like the way they fit, the way they look and the way they make me feel. But you are right, if they don't fit right they do hurt. It is possible that as a male I may have stronger more muscular feet and legs making heel wearing easier, but honestly I have never considered this. 

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59 minutes ago, SoCalGal said:

I’m not criticizing anyone so please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying or asking. I’m just somewhat perplexed why someone would want their feet to hurt.

Hi SoCalGal,

I'll try to answer some of you inquires, but again I not the most usual member here. There is a tremendous diversity in the members here, and in why each wears heels.

First, heels don't make my feet hurt.  I only buy heels that fit my feet; I learned early these wise words: "life's too short for shoes that hurt." Function OVER Fashion.....LOL

I started to wear women's shoes about 9 years ago after my third ankle reconstruction. I have narrow heels and men's shoes that fit my toe box left over an extra inch of open space around my heel to the sides of the shoes, so whenever I would try to plant my foot, my ankle would slip and turn. No ankle problems since I stop wearing men's shoes. Oh, I'm a US women's size 10 M.

That is, unless they are more comfortable on a larger, tougher and more firm foot, which in that case, I concede based on ignorance.

Many years ago I had a very serious injury, then about 3 years ago I suffered another (different, but major) injury. Because of the first injury, I had to raise both heels 4 inches to heal, took 15 months to heal. During the first 5 months I notice I no longer had back/hip pain left over from the first injury. Later when I went back to flat shoes the pain returned.  

Thus I wear shoes with at least a 3.75" increase between my toes and heels. And my quality of life is so much better!

I can't hide them, especially when I wear shorts in the summer, so if I going to wear heels I might as well have fun with them, and I do.  Women colleagues tell me they envy my shoes.  I must be doing something right

Any more questions....

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SoCalGal.....  Hi.  I too found this site quite by accident some years ago.  Now to answer your question, Why?  I don't know.  

I am a married straight guy who has worn gals shoes since I was a teen and started wearing high heels 20+ years ago.  I like the look and feel of heels and do not necessarily find them uncomfortable - but yes that does depend on the style and where they are being worn.  And, guys shoes are, for the most part, pretty ugly.  

I could go on, but for now will leave it at that.  

Glad you are here, it's an interesting place......   Take care, sf  (NorCalGuy)

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Another straight married guy here. I too found the site by accident while looking for a pair of over-the-knee boots for myself. I'd always fancied the style. I've only ever worn boots - generally hiking boots - since I was a kid but I liked some of the taller ladies styles and wished I dared buy myself a pair.  Finally I did. I found a nice pair of low-heeled, over-the-nee suede boots and grown used to wearing them, my curiosity about heels was sparked, as you say. I guess that having dared myself that far I wanted to be a bit more adventurous. And so I took a deep breath, bought myself a pair of classic high-heeled knee boots and I found that I quite liked wearing them. They do not make my feet hurt, but then I took good care getting ones that fit well. Perhaps high-heeled boots are easier to wear than high heeled shoes too, I don't know (I don't wear shoes at all except to the gym or cycling)   

As SF says above, for the most part guys shoes (and boots) are pretty ugly. I loathe the desert boots and chukkas that are offered as the general (non-hiking) boot for men.   

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Welcome @SoCalGal. Great to have you and well done for following your curiosity.

as the others have said, there are various reason why one chooses to wear heels... there was a thread recently where folks (men mostly) gave there 2 cents about their personal motivations. Worth a read!

PS - another straight married man here :cheeky: 

 

Edited by jeremy1986

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Haha, yet ANOTHER straight and married guy here. I do think that my feet are stronger and tougher than yours, but not for the reason(s) you might think. It has nothing to do with my foot size or gender (I'm US women's size 9). 

The reason I am able to wear substantial heels for long periods of time is because I have gone to a great deal of trouble to train my feet to handle that particular athletic challenge. Fit is, of course, very important, but it is not the end-all to heel wearing success. Physical endurance, and by necessity, training, is key to insuring that the fun won't stop just because my feet aren't up to the challenge! 

Welcome to our group!

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SoCalGal,

Glad you found us!   First off I will say I am another normal straight guy here,,,, well I think we are,,,,,, it’s everyone else around us here at HHP that aren’t normal!   I have been wearing heels in public for over 5 years now.  For me I like the look the feel and boy do I get better service at the stores, bars, clubs, restaurants, even Home Depot.  My GF is perfectly fine with my choice of clothing and heels, we shop together all the time.  Here are a couple of pics  I am not dressing to pass as a girl,  I am just a guy in a skirt and heels that’s all . No make up no wigs no boobs, period .  It’s always nice to nave a girl here to give us the female opinion  Hope you stick with us normal guys !!!!92060515-B890-4228-BF1A-82FDC6DA8EE2.thumb.jpeg.1cf1ffa76185d783b0afbac2a1e39b25.jpeg9132A1FD-8599-4D9B-9531-00FD4C38F779.thumb.jpeg.eab66e0d0939c82846909d2aba89b565.jpeg5F8797CB-6CCD-4CDF-8895-380E75B3D819.jpeg.e0270f4833fdcc561e1aec8095abfbc7.jpeg45348447-B585-4A13-8DD0-2B0AAAE110F4.thumb.jpeg.e7cd4fd7ddd371857145c6d15cb00ccb.jpegC4D95EC9-A48C-4916-A602-D2955FDA112E.thumb.jpeg.03ad4242f0a9a23f2c129f0f7bb801c4.jpegimage.thumb.jpeg.8738c828d4b48e61704c6820b5375f1d.jpegimage.thumb.jpeg.e833a27e92ef31adb413d54fd38ec5e1.jpegimage.thumb.jpeg.71427f48d28c30162cf2a9353b17cac8.jpegimage.thumb.jpeg.49fe1a343d676509e43900b3a2238298.jpegimage.thumb.jpeg.c1919a37d36394c9fc2be175c9b6f74a.jpegimage.thumb.jpeg.3305edf445e6bcfa99eb33768751f1e9.jpegimage.thumb.jpeg.035ecba45212218826ccd8b4a780b4cf.jpegimage.thumb.jpg.e09631e8875077eb376854e669fa47f7.jpgimage.thumb.jpg.94a8acda43509b2f7440219050e8352c.jpg

Edited by CAT
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Actually a crazy girlfriend got me into it, I've always loved the look of high heels, and once I tried them on I was kind of hooked. I truly believe that if wearing heels wasn't mandated for women in professional spaces, many would still wear them. It's just a sort of taboo for men to do anything feminine, or to try to look different in any way. Luckily, I live in LA, where me in high heel boots and jeans is still not the craziest look on the streets. 

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 Welcome SoCalGal to the site!

To answer your question, Why? Let me give you my thoughts on this from my experience.

Unlike many here I did not think about heels in my youth, rather I found that I liked heels after participating in the Walk a Mile in Her Shoes events. Had done it for a few years and found that I had no trouble walking in heels and that I liked how they felt and looked. So I graduated to wearing heels at home until a few years ago I started to wear heels in public. So that is my story in a nut shell.

You mentioned pain in your post and I think I have a reason why as a man I do not have pain when walking in heels. Actually there are a few reasons, which I will list:

  1. As a man I have a larger foot than most women. I take a size 12 in women's. Looking at the foot and the high heel show geometrically we can see that the foot and shoe create a 90 degree angle with the ball of the foot, heel and height of the heel shaft as it's points. Let us call the line between the ball of the foot and the heel as line A. We cannot change line A's length, right? By varying the height of the heel shaft we affect the angle at the ball of the foot. So a woman with a size 8 foot would have a greater angle at the ball of the foot than a guy with a size 12. His angle would not be so extreme at the same heel height as the woman. Less angle, less stress on the foot.
  2. I took the time to learn to walk in heels and then I spent hours practicing walking in them.
  3. I buy shoes that fit me well and feel good on my feet. They may not cost hundreds of dollars, but I make sure that they fit well and are made well.

So, I hope that answers your question. If you have any questions, just let me know!

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SoCalGal, one more straight married guy reporting in.  While many of the guys here report that they can wear heels all day without pain, I am not in that category.  While the level of tolerance is greatly influenced by fit, I can only go so long before having pain in the ball of my foot area regardless of fit.  I do admit that fit is a tough place for me, as I wear a man's 10.5 wide, and a women's equivalent to that is very difficult to find.  There is also no doubt that wearing four inch heels is a lot different than something lower in the three inch range.  That said, I have some 2.5 inch heels that start to give me discomfort before others that approach 4 inches.  You say that you are basically "required" to wear heels in your job.  But do they specify a specific height?  If you are wearing Jimmy Choo's, you are likely at least 4 inches and in some approaching five.  Yes, I do believe you will have painful feet at those heights.  There are hundreds of good looking women's shoes these days that still look quite stylish but have heels in the 2.5-3 inch range.  Kitten heels seem to be all the rage right now, as well as the lower block styles.  Can those not pass muster as heels in the courtroom?  You might not experience so much discomfort if you went that route.  I love to see ladies in heels - nothing looks better than an attractive woman in a dress and heels.  But they don't need to be 4-5 inches high to be attractive.  Maybe try some lower styles and see if that reduces your pain - you can still look stunning in a feminine styled 3 inch heel!  Best wishes - please stay with us for a while! 

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I answered earlier, but I wanted to point out a common theme, most if not all mentioned, they buy heels that fit.

It took me less than 10 seconds to adjust, get my balance and walk in 4 inch heels.  Why? I had done many months of rehab therapy after having my ankles reconstructed. A lot of balancing on the toes of one foot while standing on an incline. 

This is very similar to the exercises Korean Airline teach their flight attendants so they can walk on airplanes while in high heels.

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In my case having done much fencing in my youth, and many thousands of miles of cycling, I have very strong and flexible ankles so walking in four-and-a-half inch heels was not that tricky at all, not even the first time. 

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Posted (edited)

Straight, married for 18 years.  I like the challenge in trying to wear high heels.  I'm relatively new to it, but find my fav style is a platform stiletto with a heel to platform difference of 4-5".  4" Height I find is extremely easy for me.  I primarily keep my eye out for heels either cheaper online, or the local thrift stores.  I don't really have the money to break the bank to buy super designer ones.  Haven't worn them outside the house unless I'm in the car, or if no-one is around.  I'm still in the military so i don't really want my Soldiers to think differently of me seeing me that way.  I've always liked the look of fit, female legs in wicked heels, and I guess I just got jealous enough, and society gets more and more accepting, so I wanted to wear them too.  My wife isn't 100% on board with the idea, but I explained to her that I like the look of them, and how they make me feel good wearing them.  I don't wear them around her often, but she tolerates me anyway.  That's pretty much my whole reason for wearing them...because I like them, so I wear them.  Welcome to the site!

Edited by TKHeels

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SoCalGal couldn't have had her curiosity sparked  that much; she's never been back after posting her query, six weeks ago

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Posted (edited)

Maybe she didn't like the answers. Her whole thesis is based on the principle that heels hurt, indeed have to hurt.  And I think the major opinion here is that heels don't need to hurt.  

I think she was trying to mock us and end up mocking herself for buying heels THAT hurt.

Edited by Cali
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Posted (edited)

Fraid not. She has never returned since she posted the thread, so she never read any of the answers. If you tap on her profile you’ll see she last visited the day she posted her query. Never been back. A momentary impulse. Lost interest or forgot all about it.

Edited by Shyheels

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Posted (edited)

The fact that she never logged into her account does NOT imply she never read any of the answers.  She could have read them without logging in and notice the trend.

The fact that she waited for her account to become active and then post only to never be back.....?????????

Edited by Cali

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Happens all the time

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No big deal to me..  She was curious, asked a few questions, and may or may not have returned to get an answer.  Over the years I have gotten the same type of questions asked personally.  I wish her the best....   sf

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