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krazykev64

Am i a crossdresser

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Ok.  so i wear womens heels in public as my daily footwear.

What i would like to know is what i am classed as.  Am i a crossdresser or could i be termed gay.

first let me tell you a bit about myself.  I am a 51 year old widow who lost my wife just over a year ago.  I now have a new girlfriend who i have been seeing since Febuary.  the thought of even kissing another bloke in a romantic way is enough to make me cringe.  I am a full blooded man in the bedroom department as well when im engaging in some romantic activity.  i do not dress in womens clothing (unless its a fancy dress outfit for fundraising) and i only wear womens shoes.  The style of shoe i prefer to wear in public are normally black or brown and the most lady like footwear i would wear is an open toe boot/sandal.

so what am i classed as?

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You're obviously not gay, but you might lead some of the unwashed masses to think so. Remind them that gays are attracted to men, not necessarily to men who wear women's shoes.

"I see you're wearing women's shoes. Are you gay?"

"No, but I have a friend who is gay and he has a shirt just like the one you're wearing!"

Get it? It's only clothes, not lifestyle.

 

A crossdresser is one who dresses in clothes of the opposite sex. I would add for the purpose or intent of passing as the opposite sex. You're not doing that. You're not even wearing other clothes, just shoes. So you're not a crossdresser. But I would also add that you shouldn't be concerned. Some people might think you are crossdressing. Others won't even notice. Most people will be polite and not say anything insulting. You might get an occasional smile or second glance. Teenage girls in groups will giggle. Keep your head high and be proud and you'll be fine.

 

Why are you (and other people) hung up on being classified as one thing or another? You're a human being. You're an individual. You have the guts to wear what you want to wear instead of what society dictates as customary. Some women will find that confidence is sexy and be attracted to you.  You're sensitive. You're gender bending. And perhaps you're  a little insecure. Don't be. Wear what you like with pride and you'll be fine! Don't worry about pigeonholes. They're only for pigeons!. Like Oscar Wilde said, "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken!"

Steve

 

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3 hours ago, krazykev64 said:

Ok.  so i wear womens heels in public as my daily footwear.

What i would like to know is what i am classed as.  Am i a crossdresser or could i be termed gay.

first let me tell you a bit about myself.  I am a 51 year old widow who lost my wife just over a year ago.  I now have a new girlfriend who i have been seeing since Febuary.  the thought of even kissing another bloke in a romantic way is enough to make me cringe.  I am a full blooded man in the bedroom department as well when im engaging in some romantic activity.  i do not dress in womens clothing (unless its a fancy dress outfit for fundraising) and i only wear womens shoes.  The style of shoe i prefer to wear in public are normally black or brown and the most lady like footwear i would wear is an open toe boot/sandal.

so what am i classed as?

Krazy KeV - - - who else!!

 

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If you, as a guy, were classed a crossdresser simply for wearing what are billed as women's shoes, than about 90 per cent of women you see on the street must be crossdressers. Women quite freely adopt clothes, styles, fashions from the men's section of the department store and nobody ever suggests they are crossdressing. It would not even cross anybody's mind (so to speak).

I like tall boots - not concerned about heels really - and have no interest in wearing any other bit of women's clothing whatsoever. Not even trying on out of curiosity. Vive la difference in that regard, as far as I am concerned. I do like tall boots and wish they were fashionable for men. That they are not is something I just choose to ignore. I would not in any sense regard myself as a crossdresser any more than I would regard a woman who wore Caterpillar work boots or men's Levis to be cross dressing.

Edited by Shyheels
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10 hours ago, Shyheels said:

If you, as a guy, were classed a crossdresser simply for wearing what are billed as women's shoes, than about 90 per cent of women you see on the street must be crossdressers. Women quite freely adopt clothes, styles, fashions from the men's section of the department store and nobody ever suggests they are crossdressing. It would not even cross anybody's mind (so to speak).

I like tall boots - not concerned about heels really - and have no interest in wearing any other bit of women's clothing whatsoever. Not even trying on out of curiosity. Vive la difference in that regard, as far as I am concerned. I do like tall boots and wish they were fashionable for men. That they are not is something I just choose to ignore. I would not in any sense regard myself as a crossdresser any more than I would regard a woman who wore Caterpillar work boots or men's Levis to be cross dressing.

Beautifully said!!

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When it comes to crossdressing it is funny that it is acceptable for women to wear anything in the man's side of the closet, but heaven forbid a man wear something out of the women's side!! Totally unfair!

IMO, we have many here that are crossdressers. Many here wear woman's jeans, pantyhose, and we have at least couple guys that will wear skirts and dresses. Again, IMO, you don't need to go the full monty and wear breast forms, make up, wigs, what ever and try look like a woman to be a crossdresser. Just wearing woman's clothing presenting one's self as a man and you are a crossdresser. Many here will argue that, fine, go ahead. I have done some research on it over the years and even crossdressing forums will agree with me.

Also, crossdressing has nothing to to with sexual orientation. Certainly does not mean one is gay! Most crossdressers are hetro same as most men. My bet the percentage of gay crossdressers is not far off from the percentage of gay men in general.

Wearing women's shoes would be considered crossdressing by many people.

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3 hours ago, Pumped said:

 

Also, crossdressing has nothing to to with sexual orientation. Certainly does not mean one is gay! Most crossdressers are hetro same as most men. My bet the percentage of gay crossdressers is not far off from the percentage of gay men in general.

Wearing women's shoes would be considered crossdressing by many people.

I've been wearing woman yoga gear for many years. Majority of people seeing believe i must be gay which i'm not.  Difficult to change people's minds while others tried on my behalf arguing it to no avail. 

Lost prospective female from others bad mouthing me as gay no point in pursuing him... Woman turning their backs or avoiding me entirely because of someone's vast experience, assumption of my feminine clothes equals sexual orientation.

 

Times you see people laughing upon me from a distance instinctively i know they don't support or find it odd seeing attired in women's wear. Sometimes i just want to give the person mocking me with their giggles or stares the middle finger. Yet i never get use to the prejudice i get from people about my clothes. Only stand bitter scowling or entirely ignore them as they were not their as some do to me because they disapprove adamantly about my appearance.

 

On a rare occasion someone might feel pity upon me seeing others negative reactions upon how i look. Then they try to compliment me or build up my confidence saying don't listen to them.. be yourself.. Even though they themselves don't agree with the clothes i wear but find others insults or putting up walls around them keeping me out as unkind.  This attempt to help me often catches me off guard and lowers my walls making me vulnerable to others.

 

  

Edited by MackyHeels

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Without revealing much, I posted on a crossdressing forum and asked if wearing heels, or shoes normally intended for woman was crossdressing. So far the comments are unanimous, yes!

So there you are guys, quit the denial! :cheeky: 

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43 minutes ago, Pumped said:

Without revealing much, I posted on a crossdressing forum and asked if wearing heels, or shoes normally intended for woman was crossdressing. So far the comments are unanimous, yes!

So there you are guys, quit the denial! :cheeky: 

Thanks @Pumped

having recently spent some time with knowledgeable medical folks exploring this, they say No. I am not, however of all the possible generalistic names out there CD is likely closer than most.

yet if you ask me i will tell you i am not a CD. Denial ? Maybe ? 

Im just a bloke with a interest in heritage shoe weareing, with a modern twist, remember heels started for men with king louis of france

hope that has muddied the waters!

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1 hour ago, Pumped said:

Without revealing much, I posted on a crossdressing forum and asked if wearing heels, or shoes normally intended for woman was crossdressing. So far the comments are unanimous, yes!

So there you are guys, quit the denial! :cheeky: 

So then you would say - indeed, would have to say to be consistent - that a woman wearing workbooks designed for men, or men's brogues, or men's Levis, or a man's shirt is also cross-dressing?  In which case you are left with a huge proportion of the population defined as cross-dressers. At what point does it cease being cross Dressing?

Edited by Shyheels

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Well. I' ve been thinking 'bout this for a while. The ones that makes fun out of other people wearing "opposite gender" clothes does not have the balls to do it theirselves. ;)

Wear what you like. :)

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7 hours ago, Shyheels said:

So then you would say - indeed, would have to say to be consistent - that a woman wearing workbooks designed for men, or men's brogues, or men's Levis, or a man's shirt is also cross-dressing?  In which case you are left with a huge proportion of the population defined as cross-dressers. At what point does it cease being cross Dressing?

Yes I would! Too bad it is acceptable for the fairer sex to pull on a pair of work jeans, boots and a flannel shirt. Like I said earlier, it is unfair.

Much of this we, (men in general), bring on ourselves. I believe the majority of woman could care less what men wear but men see someone wearing something different and for what ever reason the macho comes out. How many times have you been sitting with a bunch of guys and someone makes a comment about some guy waking by, be it gay, or a bit feminine, or his clothing and we either join in, or clam up and say nothing. You have just helped continue the prejudice.

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We must have different sorts of friends. And very different attitudes. I have never hung out with anyone who would make comments such as you describe. Ever. I can imagine that type of person, but I would hardly be sitting around with such people, let alone have them as friends, and if such a person - a friend of a friend, say, did join my table and made remarks like that then, no, I would not sit quietly and say nothing as that would reflect poorly on me. I would most definitely say something, sharpish, to let them know how I felt about that kind of boorishness and attitude

I take it from your response that you do feel that women who wear men's jeans are cross-dressers. And presumably those who wear men's work boots as well. I would suggest that that is a very unusual point of view. The girls at my daughters school all are required to wear blazers and neckties as part of their school uniform.  Are they all cross dressing? If I walk out the door to go hiking in the mountains wearing a pair of unisex hiking boots, am I adopting an androgynous look? 

 

 

Edited by Shyheels

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7 hours ago, Pumped said:

Too bad it is acceptable for the fairer sex to pull on a pair of work jeans, boots and a flannel shirt.

When I pull on a pair of work jeans and boots (I generally don't wear flannel shirts), does that make me one of the fairer sex?  Just kidding, but what makes the gals "fairer" then the guys?

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Shyheels, look up the definition of "crossdressing", it simply states wearing clothing intended for the opposite gender. 

 

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10 hours ago, Pumped said:

Shyheels, look up the definition of "crossdressing", it simply states wearing clothing intended for the opposite gender. 

 

Exactly.

A man who wears skirts or dresses would be cross dressing since those items, in Western society at least, are exclusively  designed for, and assigned to, women.

But everybody wears shoes or boots. 

Imagine this. You have a pair of dress brogues. They have heels on them, about five eights or three quarters of an inch, as nearly all dress shoes do. Okay. Add a quarter of an inch. Are you now cross dressing? No? Add another quarter of an inch. Are you cross dressing yet? Keep on adding quarter inches to those heels. All other things being the same in your outfit, at what point would you consider yourself to be cross dressing?

Another example involving footwear. Ladies wear tall equestrian or biker-style boots with and without heels as articles of fashion. Men generally wear them only if they are actually riding horses or motorcycles, not for fashion's sake. Okay. So - how far does a man have to stray from his horse or motorcycle before he would be deemed to be cross dressing - wearing his tall boots fashionably without a specific purpose, as women do? If he wears his tall boots to the office one day, commuting by train - same pair of boots, mind, that he wore while riding his bike or horse over the weekend - would he be cross dressing? Is cross dressing situational? Suppose a guy buys (and wears) a pair of such boots without first owning a motorcycle or horse, is he cross dressing? If however, the following week, he buys (and rides) a Harley is he then no longer a cross dresser? 

A final example. Rubber Wellington boots. Typically green, worn by both sexes for tramping around muddy lanes and rain sodden fields. Available at every garden shop. You can buy them in colours though. Suppose I buy a pink pair - same make, model, shape and style as my Hunter green ones - would I be cross dressing by wearing them? Is colour determinative in establishing what is and is not cross dressing? If so, then presumably - following the same line of logic - a man wearing a pink shirt must also be cross dressing. True?

No. The most you could say with footwear - since wearing shoes or boots is common to both sexes - is that you had an unusual fashion sense, not that you were cross dressing. 

 

Edited by Shyheels

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Nice Shyheels

Another example _ my partner and I were having coffee this morning and she passed comment on the girl serving " those RM Williams boots ( a guys cattlemans boot) look great with what she's wearing ( mid length skirt & blouse)". To which I replied " so why do you have a problem if I wear my high heel boots with jeans?". To which she replied"they are girls shoes". To which I replied " and her boots are??"

Pretty much all one way traffic when it comes to blending fashion!

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I'm quite familiar with RM Williams boots! I have a pair of their kangaroo skin dress jodhpurs - and love them.  And yes, the one-way traffic is very odd and utterly illogical.

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6 hours ago, Shyheels said:

Exactly.

A man who wears skirts or dresses would be cross dressing since those items, in Western society at least, are exclusively  designed for, and assigned to, women.

But everybody wears shoes or boots. 

Imagine this. You have a pair of dress brogues. They have heels on them, about five eights or three quarters of an inch, as nearly all dress shoes do. Okay. Add a quarter of an inch. Are you now cross dressing? No? Add another quarter of an inch. Are you cross dressing yet? Keep on adding quarter inches to those heels. All other things being the same in your outfit, at what point would you consider yourself to be cross dressing?

Another example involving footwear. Ladies wear tall equestrian or biker-style boots with and without heels as articles of fashion. Men generally wear them only if they are actually riding horses or motorcycles, not for fashion's sake. Okay. So - how far does a man have to stray from his horse or motorcycle before he would be deemed to be cross dressing - wearing his tall boots fashionably without a specific purpose, as women do? If he wears his tall boots to the office one day, commuting by train - same pair of boots, mind, that he wore while riding his bike or horse over the weekend - would he be cross dressing? Is cross dressing situational? Suppose a guy buys (and wears) a pair of such boots without first owning a motorcycle or horse, is he cross dressing? If however, the following week, he buys (and rides) a Harley is he then no longer a cross dresser? 

A final example. Rubber Wellington boots. Typically green, worn by both sexes for tramping around muddy lanes and rain sodden fields. Available at every garden shop. You can buy them in colours though. Suppose I buy a pink pair - same make, model, shape and style as my Hunter green ones - would I be cross dressing by wearing them? Is colour determinative in establishing what is and is not cross dressing? If so, then presumably - following the same line of logic - a man wearing a pink shirt must also be cross dressing. True?

No. The most thing you could say with footwear - since wearing shoes or boots is common to both sexes - is that you had an unusual fashion sense, not that you were cross dressing. 

 

NUFF SAID

chris_eubank_2005_11_23.jpg

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43 minutes ago, Shyheels said:

I'm afraid I don't get your point. You haven't said anything, let alone enough to convey a message.

The photo is of chris eubank the ex boxer.  with reference to the above post regarding men wearing equestian boots chris eubank is know for his outragious fashion

there are loads of items of footwear and clothing that are the same and worn by both sexes.  dr martin boots. wellies. trainers. hats and caps. t shirts. socks. jumpers. all men should also think how often their partner has nicked/borrowed there pyjamas. personally i have come to the conclusion that i just have a strange sense of fashion. i dont care what people think either.  if i want to walk around wearing a pair of heels i will do so.  i wont go as far as a pair of bright red stiletto courts as i prefer a little comfort and prefer the conservative approach. black peeptoe boots are my limit

Edited by krazykev64

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Ah, yes, of course!

I have heard of Chris Eubank and know of his unusual tastes in fashion, but I am not familiar enough with him to recognise the photo. I had thought the image might be one of the fashionable 'sapeurs' you see in Brazzaville in the Congo. The Societe des Ambiancieurs et des Personnes Elegantes (Sapeurs) otherwise known as The Elegant People are reknowned for their extravagant fashion sense. No heels or anything like that, more of an extreme take on the English gentleman of eighty years ago.

Edited by Shyheels

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The thing with crossdressers, the extremely annoying thing, is that while The vast majority of them are straight men, almost all the famous ones that People see are gay. And often flaming gay.

So its no wonder that in the minds of the public crossdressers equals gay. Have fun debunking that!

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10 hours ago, krazykev64 said:

NUFF SAID

chris_eubank_2005_11_23.jpg

Your so correct couldn't wrote it better myself. Wanted to own pair myself knee high boots find it so fashionable amongst woman pairing them with skinny jeans or leggings unlike your photo above. While women would think true i'm wearing police riding boots or female ones. The reaction would be uh huh now i see what he really is about. So what's the difference wearing heels or just sneakers with leggings or skinny jeans, the same opinion would prevail.  Only reason i don't wear knee high boots flat heel is appears to costumey as if someone was doing a play for a period in medieval times.  So i often  laugh inside at female sense of style them looking like they are in some theater play. Yet it also makes me bit bitter that others don't notice this fashion sense is overtly bad or outdated. Suppose it's a way where woman don't want to wear heels have a choice to wear something men did long time ago.

While pink colour often evokes exact same reactions from people. At times i wore a fuchsia pink sports tank top  had few women react by standing still, glaring upon what i was wearing, it wasn't because they liked it believe me. Other females would just laugh upon me wearing what they do time to time themselves..  Silly how colours such as pink and different hues get such reactions from females...

Or when i wear short shorts woman quickly stare making comments it's gay shorts while in fact there the exact same woman wear for running.  So how can one gender be okay wearing it while other is labeled wrongly to less a sexual proclivity or like some family members say i'm naked, put on some clothes.

 

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Good discussion points, I wear many items from across the Isle, my partner wears many things from my side of the shop, so that would make both of us crossdressers. I have no problems with that, "does that make me gay?" No. But a point I would like to make is, nowadays, the term "Gay" is used by the mid to younger generations as something which does not fit into there belief normal guidelines of masculine or binary. The term is used so often as a way to say "ah no way you would catch me in those" =so different. In Rural and centers where strong minded binary stereotypes live, gay is anything which does not fit there stereotypes. I am quite happy to be a crossdresser!

 

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I suppose one could argue the shoes versus clothing aspect of it, but many consider shoes to be an extension of clothing, plus there is definitely foot wear intended for men or women.

If we are crossdressers, is it a bad thing? Do most here have issue with the possibility of being considered a crossdresser? Whether it be shoes or clothing I believe most people would come to a similar conclusion if a man is wearing clothing or shoes intended for women. Personally, I don't see much difference.

Edited by Pumped

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Footwear intended for men or women? Is that the criteria now? I take a UK12-13. Virtually any shoe that comes in my size, or even near to it, is intended for a man, regardless of styling. 

By the same token, were I to go into a shop and buy a dress, one cut to fit a body just over six feet tall and thirteen stone, it would still be an article of clothing intended for a woman.

Dresses and skirts are feminine clothing, certainly in western society. Size, style, colour, doesn't matter. There is no masculine version. They are feminine and a guy wearing them would be cross dressing. Shoes and boots are common to both sexes. No matter how you cut it, or style it, the simple wearing a pair of shoes or boots, on its own, does not constitute cross dressing by either sex.

Edited by Shyheels

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Krazy Kev,

It is in your mind alone.

Crossdressing is mostly related to try to have people (especially the crossdresser himself) think he is a woman (it is hardly seen conversely).

So do you try to fool people (including you) into believing your are a woman ?

Of course you can still do it in this purpose a night or two.... for the thrill or whatever. Then it is only occasional crossdressing.

G.

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5 hours ago, Gudulitooo said:

 

Crossdressing is mostly related to try to have people (especially the crossdresser himself) think he is a woman (it is hardly seen conversely).

Cross dressing is also done presenting as a male we have at least two on this forum that where skirts and dresses that make no effort to look like a woman. Trying to pass as a woman or not has little to do with it.

I think we have a few members here in denial!

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