wastheels Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Hey community, Im really confused now and i really don't know what to do. Here is the situation: I wear heels since 2 years. I still live at home with my parents and my brother. They all never knew about that thing. I always hide my heels from them but last week i came home from work and some of my shoes were on the table in my room for everyone to see. Then my mom came and asket with a creepy sounding voice what i do with shoes like that. She asked: "Are you gay?" I was shocked.. My dad laughed and just said im a pervert. I really don't know what to do now... What are your thoughts? What would you do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maninpumps Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 I think the truth is the best policy . If you are gay , who cares ? Women's high-heels are just shoes nothing more nothing less . Don't overthink this . Tell them why you wear high heels and let it be . Did they return your shoes to you ? If so they are not to concerned about it. Good luck and keep us posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wastheels Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 Yes actually im not gay but i like wearing heels and yes they gave them back to me but now i don't know if i should still hide them or even wear them when they are around.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovesHiHeels Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Give it a few days, then tell that your not gay. See how they respond. There is not point in hiding your heels now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wastheels Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 Well i don't know.. Maybe i should wait until i turn 18 next year.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heelster Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Well i don't know.. Maybe i should wait until i turn 18 next year..The proverbial 'Cat is out of the bag' so sooner or later, the discussion will happen. Best to have the discussion on your terms and not wait too long.No reason to hide your heels anymore, but I would think some discretion would be advisable.Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbiehhw Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 If anyone asks me if i'm gay - I usually reply something lie; " does it matter?" Parents are often pretty traditional and do not get things out of the mainstream. Their brains default to the first cliché or caricature about things like this. You now have the opportunity to educate them and expand their world. If they are resistant, at least you tried. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wastheels Posted June 21, 2015 Author Share Posted June 21, 2015 Thanks for all the help. And yes my parents are really traditional.. But in my case im not gay but i think i feel like a women but still like girls.. If you know what i mean. All that is growing up in me.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtnsofheels Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Well, that certainly makes it easier now with the family, I would not hide them anymore since they do know about them now. I would still wear them like you have done in the past. But to wear in front of parents may bring more ridicule or unwanted comments towards you. You are who you are, you are learning more about who you are as you grow up, it does not make any difference what anyone says about how you are because that is you. Embrace who are and proceed to be you, that means wear your heels in places where you are accepted. Hopefully they will one day be proud of you for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wastheels Posted June 21, 2015 Author Share Posted June 21, 2015 Thanks alot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Histiletto Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Realistically what can you make happen since their discovery? You can hide it, which will only make you miserable, or you can have an open talk with each parent one at a time or together and help them to understand your history, feelings, and concerns to wear heels. By the way, is this the first time your wanting to wear shoes society has dubbed for females happened? If not, I would talk with them from that point of view. They are concerned for your well-being in the society they understand it to be. Your confidence and assurance can be helpful letting them know how much they have over reacted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Majo Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 I second mtnsofheels, maybe your secret didn't came out in the best way but now your folks know about your taste. Just enjoy using them. The good thing is you don't have to hide them anymore which is a big step. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rockpup Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 I remember my mom finding my heels when a teen. Usually they ended up thrown out. Once I got asked if I wore them in front of anyone. The questions asked did not get honest answers in the end since at the time I was not honest with myself. Be you. Be ok with that. Be as honest with others as you feel safe being, as everyone situation is different. (formerly known as "JimC") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wastheels Posted June 22, 2015 Author Share Posted June 22, 2015 @Histiletto: Sadly my parents aren't that king of people you can talk about everything with them. If i try to explain them, they wouldn't listen and they surely get it wrong. And i don't wanna think about my father when he gets crazy because of that. He would kick me out of the house or something like that.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pebblesf Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Wastheels Well, you are certainly in a difficult position. I agree with everyone, it is kind of a blessing that they found your heels, that forced the issue of revealing your interest in heels. I surely wouldn't wear your heels in front of your parents, but I wouldn't go to great lengths to hide them either. Simply put your heels away in your closet like any other shoes. Be truthful if they ask again, which you already have been I guess, simply tell your parents you enjoy wearing women's shoes and that does not mean you are gay. At this point, I'm hoping your parents will try their best to be understanding and accepting, but I understand that they are traditional people who live by traditional ideas of years ago, so you will have to be patient with them as well. Don't over think this, wearing heels does not mean you are gay, it just means you enjoy wearing heels and nothing more. I'm hoping you have a trusted friend or family member who you can freely discuss this with. I know how nervous/anxious you must be about your parents, but having them find your heels might actually help you accept yourself and move forward. Plenty of friends here, be sure to keep us posted. Don Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wastheels Posted June 22, 2015 Author Share Posted June 22, 2015 Thanks Don Thanks to all of you here. It helps to know there are other people out there trying to help. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cl0setheels Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 What I'm wondering about. Did you leave the shoes out or has someone been snooping about in your room? If the latter, I'm asking because my parents never ever searched my room for anything, not even in my early teens. They never had a reason not to trust me so they didn't have to. And the only valid reason for doing something like that that I can think of if I would have gone off track really bad like serious drugs or something. The way I've been raised I'd consider it a lack of respect for you if they searched your room and an invasion of privacy. Don't know how you see this? I agree with most of the replies already posted. I would give it a little rest and then start the conversation. If it where me I would explain myself but also let them know how I feel about what happend and the comments that where made. Parents expect you to respect them, but in my opinion that should be mutual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wastheels Posted June 23, 2015 Author Share Posted June 23, 2015 Yeah i think that they searched in my roomm was the biggest mistake they did. What if the did this earlier.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rockbass19 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I'd say - wear the shoes more often in front of them. They'll see that you're still the same person, despite your footwear... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gudulitooo Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Yeah i think that they searched in my roomm was the biggest mistake they did. What if the did this earlier.. wastheels, First I think everybody does mistakes so I would suggest to be forgiving because your turn is coming sooner or later. Second everybody has a hard time deciding what to do when confronted to an out of ordinary situation. Try to imagine you mom in your room for any reason (chores, or a window to close or anything) stumbling on your shoes. Was it one year ago or yesterday, your parents may have sweat a lot, as you do know. This should bring you and your parents together. I would ask them how long did they now and try to be understanding. In turn, you can hope a similar effort from them. Third, a decision is a valuable effort. Your parents finally _decided_ to let you know they know. Most parents woudl have said nothing but let the situation deteriorate. They would become more short tempered, irritable regarding insignifiant things, so you cannot link it to their discovery, but somehow you know and finally the atmosphere becomes unbreathable. instead, they moved. I would let them know I appreciate their effort. This post is not progressing very fast, is it ? Ok now what next: There are two paths for you, and at your age, you may not have decided you way. Either your interest is fashion, then go 100% into fashion. If you have another job, start a hobby, go to runways instead of superbowl, write a fashion blog, etc. You will have numerous occasion to wear anything and to meet fashion opened people, and to become gay also.. Or you decide to follow the transgender path, which is going to be a hard time thinking (for everybody). Anyway, my suggestion is : be patient. How long did it take you to order your first pair. How many questions did you have to answer yourself before accepting this taste ? Before your parents accept you, they will have to follow a similar intellectual path. But there is a major issue : this is not a hobby for them. Their mind is busy with many other things and maybe also personal hobbies. Thus they can't (and would have preferred not to) allow as much time as you to this thinking effort. It may take a while... Just my 2 cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wastheels Posted June 26, 2015 Author Share Posted June 26, 2015 Thanks Gudulitooo for your words. It helps me alot with my thinking about all that happening to me. But i think it would be better to stay as a straight guy in my case. All that would turn into a horrofic time with my parents here.. And i only feel like a girl when it comes to fashion you know. And the problem with my fashion would be that i don't have the body for female clothing or fashion things.. But thanks alot anyways Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cl0setheels Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 I know that feeling wastheels. At least, I partly do. I'm not into dresses but I do like the more feminine look with heels. But don't really have the figure for skinnies and such either. I found middle ground in slim fit trousers which are a little short-ish so thet fully show my heels. Don't let all things happening get you down though. You'll probably end up getting your own place in the near future and than you have more freedom to do whatever you want. Out of curiosity, has the topic come up yet agian with your parents? In general parents love their children and when things get explained they can change their view on things. @Gudulitoo I kinda disagree with the "your parents decided to let you know". Or at least, from what I've read in the initial post they had a pretty bad attempt at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbiehhw Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 . But don't really have the figure for skinnies and such either. I found middle ground in slim fit trousers which are a little short-ish so thet fully show my heels. I would not worry about donning skinny jeans or leggings - plus size women do all the time and look great in them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BTBAIHeels Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Honestly, if I was in your position, I would try to talk it through with your mum, seriously. Mostly because your mum would be more understanding, heck she even gave birth to you of all things. If and when she gets comfortable, she could talk to your dad for you. Now I will be 17 in November so I can relate to how you might be feeling right now. So just lay back a bit, try to relax, it can't do much harm. Your pal, Preston Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chorlini Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 I wouldn't be surprised if this would become one of those things that everyone knows but nobody talks about. Aa long as you're not going about walking in heels and dresses all over the place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wastheels Posted July 2, 2015 Author Share Posted July 2, 2015 Little update: Yesterday i wore some 5 inch platform wedges for a walk around and when i came back home my parents had seen me in them. I said nothing armt all. I went inside just smiling and feelig so sexy.. A hour later i took all my heels i hided in my room and put them on a shelf for everyone to see. Every time i see them now i feel so proud of myself and also a little turned on <3 i think i will wear heels everywhere now even at work. I just love the feeling <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chorlini Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 Well, in that case, good for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Histiletto Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Hey wastheels,This is tremendous that you have been able to lessen the shackles of fear and wear your heels more openly. It probably wouldn't hurt to touch base with your parents because you still value their concerns while you are blazing your high heeling future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thighbootguy Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Little update: Yesterday i wore some 5 inch platform wedges for a walk around and when i came back home my parents had seen me in them. I said nothing armt all. I went inside just smiling and feelig so sexy.. A hour later i took all my heels i hided in my room and put them on a shelf for everyone to see. Every time i see them now i feel so proud of myself and also a little turned on <3 i think i will wear heels everywhere now even at work. I just love the feeling <3 I suggest going slowly especially at work. Just because your parents didn't say anything didn't mean they were happy about you wearing heels. Give them some time to get used to the idea and give them a break now and again by not wearing heels. TBG I dream of a world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pebblesf Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Good for you wastheels! So your parents (father included?) saw you in your heels. Did they just see you outside, or did they see you inside the house as well. Did anyone say anything? If not, I like the idea about gently bringing up the topic with your Mom to see where she/they are at. I know how great it feels and how much you just want to wear heels everywhere now, but I would urge you to follow TBG's advice about proceeding slowly. Give your family sometime to adjust, and be careful at work. Not everyone is accepting, your employer may see your heels as a workplace distraction. Start slowly at work as well, lower block heels covered mostly by your pants/jeans to test the waters, maybe some unisex heeled boots. I'm sure one of your coworkers will notice and comment (hopefully compliment), admit that you like the way you look in heels. Do your best not to draw too much attention to yourself, so the boss won't be able to claim you are a distraction in the workplace. I am so happy to hear about your progress, but be sensitive by giving others a little time to adjust slowly. Again, I am hoping you have trusted friends/relatives you can talk freely about your love of heels. You seem to have made more progress in a few months than I made in twenty years, great job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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