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luvnheels

Who Else Know You Like Wearing Heels, Other Than Yr Partner

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Most of my partners friends know about my heel 'kink'. She told them all to try to shame me. Funny thing is, they all accept it and she doesn't. Some of them even want to see me in my shoes.

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luvinheels First let me start off by saying I feel for you in your situation of someone trying to "out you" and make it seem like a bad thing. My ex still tries to do that to this day. As to the question of who knows. For me, as of a few months ago, anybody and everybody. I wear my heels as part of my daily wardrobe. You will find that a bunch of the guiys that post also wear their heels out and about in their daily life. There is also a large group that still only wear heels 'out of site'.I have nothing but respect for both 'sides of the fence' as I have been there. I would also like to welcome you to the site. -Nikki

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Thanks Nikki, I would love to be able to 'come out' if even just among my friends. I'm sure with a more understanding partner I'd be able to. It would be great to just go to a party or bbq in my heels and have everyone accept me. Unfortunately she's so stubborn about it that there's no point talking anymore. I somehow still live in hope though.

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Who all knows.. Hmm.. Everyone I have ever met or spoken to in the last year or 2.

Whats to be worried about?

Thanks Nikki, I would love to be able to 'come out' if even just among my friends. I'm sure with a more understanding partner I'd be able to. It would be great to just go to a party or bbq in my heels and have everyone accept me. Unfortunately she's so stubborn about it that there's no point talking anymore. I somehow still live in hope though.

I say this out of concern, not being a head shrinker or anything.. Your ' hope ' just wont happen.

Your in a relationship. Its a give-n-take kinda thing. Shes not going to give-in to your heel wearing.

Theres a thread on this forum about women accepting a man in heels. All of the women that have posted stated their opinions and after many pages of comments, none have changed their positions and how they feel.

What I have done is ' been myself '. I wear heels. I dont hide it. I dont flaunt it or go out of my way to get in peoples faces and say ' Yeah Im a dude and Im sporting cool kicks on my feet! ' or anything of that sort.

When I first met the woman I am presently with ( known her for 2 years ), we dated and I immediately told her I had a bunch of clothes from the last woman whom I am no longer with. I offered her the chance to take whatever she wanted and while she was going through some of them, I told her I wore several of the outfits before ( halloween/raves/clubbing ).

Being the casual person she is, she laughed and said some of the clothes were rather expensive and I should keep them in case I ever wanted to venture out again ( for a halloween or otherwise ).

Eventually, things worked out and shes known since our first date. She has bought me 4 or 5 pair of shoes/boots and when shes out shopping, she keeps me in mind. ( note : the last woman was the same way. )

All of her friends ( present woman ) know and if you read the story section, her BOSS ran into me and we had lunch with myself in heels and a SKIRT!

What most people fail to do is right from the start, hold no ' secrets ' about liking heels. Be honest from the beginning so your not lying in the end. Im not saying to spill the beans about everything in your whole entire life, but if your going to have a pair of heels in the house, and uou hope to live with a partner someday.. and they dont approve.. whats going to happen when they eventually find them?

If its a woman and your a guy, will they question if your some kind of pervert? Maybe a child molester? How about someone whos a closet transexual or gay? ( note: I still cannot understand how someone can call you gay when you have been sleeping with them ( and nobody else ) and they are of the opposite gender.. Gay? Really? )

Its the can of worms many people get put into. Its one thing if your not married. If your just dating someone, tell them. If they dont like it, then have the discussion. If your married, its a can of snakes and can get ugly ( legally/divorce/counseling.. ).

If things dont work out with the woman your seeing now, make sure you tell the next one sometime in the beginning that you have an appreciation for heels that includes owning a few pairs. If they ask if you wear them, tell them you have tried them before and thats as far as you have come. Maybe let them think THEY can ' help ' you get to know heels and walking in them.

Theres many ways to work your like of heels into the equation but the sooner you do it, the better. Do it before theres any attachment.

Sincerely,

-ILK

Edited by ilikekicks

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My girlfriend of 30 odd years is not keen on the idea of me wearing heels, dead against it. My daughter my two sisters and my mum all know and say so what your not hurting anybody.

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Most people know but as others say it's quite hard to hide when you walk round in public in 4" heels but I am still amazed at people who I am with frequently saying "you've got heels on" when I have worn them numerous ties in their company so it proves some people really don't take an notice.

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Not really - - My son has seen me in boots, and kinda ignores it. My wife tolerates it, but she's not thrilled about it. It scares her more than me to be discovered.

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My wife does not like it at all. I do wear 3" boots at work and most of the people there never say a thing I have taken my office manager out to lunch and then we went shoe shopping once and we both tried on shoes she knows and says that its no big deal.

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Heeling for 1 1/2 year now. First 14 months only wife and 2 sons know. Sons shrug shoulders, wif sees me happy so she happy, Last 4 months I have shown u in heels with visiting and with being aroud friends. Reactions more shrugged shoulders.

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Lots of people know. Wife, 2 sorority sisters of hers, everyone at the salon we go to, assorted cousins, one of whom works for Brown Shoe Co. and has got me employee discounts on Naturalizer shoes in the past, aunts and uncles, various friends including online friends I've not met in person yet, next door neighbors, office staff, our Ebay distributor, former secretary from previous job, and everyone on this forum. Steve

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I don't keep my heeling a secret, but I'm not and extrovert about it either. My kids know (but I don't heel around them), and many of my friends and neighbors know as well. Just last week the wife and I spent 4 days at a mtn cabin with a couple that we have known for years, I wore heels (wedgies) and women's flats the entire time. No one cared...

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Thanks for all yr responses so far. I did tell my current partner when we first started dating, told her everything. I showed her all my outfits and photos of me dressed up. (note, I don't fully crossdress anymore). She was definitely dead against it and she did, and still does call me a pervert, and yes she also thought I was gay, or that I might become a transsexual. The latter I can sort of understand, but gay? Really? My previous two partners were ok with my crossdressing, one of them even liked it to the point of it turning her on. I've always told any woman I get serious with as soon as possible so we have no secrets. Unfortunately this one had a negative reaction. I guess I could have ended it right then but hey, love is a powerful thing. I haven't crossdressed since we've been together as I have no need but my desire for heels has been too strong to resist. I was honest about this with her nearly 2 yrs in to our relationship. It caused huge problems and we split up for a while. (i even started seeing another woman and she thought I looked cute in heels). Love, however brought us back together so my heel wearing had to go 'underground'. The whole thing is quite difficult to deal with as my son (13) and her son (20) both now live with us. I'm not about to tell either of them. My son I feel is too young and her son has the same attitudes as her, (go figure). Lol. This forum has been a total godsend for me as I can talk freely to likeminded people. It's a great way of being able to tell my story to people who will listen and care. It's also comforting to read of other people's experiences and know I'm not alone in the world. I thank each and every one of you for every post. I intend to keep collecting and wearing my heels whenever I can. I'm even thinking about going out somewhere one night where it's crowded noisy and busy just so I can heel in public. Somewhere far from home. Not sure I have the nerve for that, even though I almost have my black belt in karate. You guys will definitely be the first to know if I ever do it. Keep heeling Luv'nheels

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Like SF, I don't brag about wearing heels / "women" shoes. Everyone that noticed it knows it, but only few may have realized I don't own "men" shoes anymore (even baskets, flats or sandals are "women" shoes). My parents know it, my ex-girlfriend knows it since the beginning (and we split for other reasons, in fact she liked that I could be taller so she could wear higher heels herself), and most of my friends know it. Among these, some are curious, other are "too shy" to speak about that, and most just don't care. After all, with or without heels, I have always felt been a weirdo, so... :-D

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Who apart from my Girlfriend knows...? hmmm... EVERYBODY! :)

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  • my dear Friend U.
  • my friend S. (he also likes heels) and his girlfriend F.
  • my ex girlfriend P.
  • my chat friend S. (a girl that I met a few times and that lives at 500miles far from me)
  • my psychologist
  • E., a friend of my girlfriend and her brother

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My girlfriend knows and doesn't like it anymore Idk why that happen. Also my friend from college knows and she was the one who got me into them My girlfriend knows and doesn't like it anymore Idk why that happen. Also my friend from college knows and she was the one who got me into them

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It came out talking to a neighbour once, she didnt believe me, only once since did she ask me to show her, I still have this feeling of being abnormal somehow. so no, I havnt shown her my heels

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Terry, you're not abnormal. You're unusual, perhaps, but not abnormal. As it's been said on here a number of times, the only normal people in the world are those you don't know very well. It's better to put it in a positive light. You're blessed with the appreciation for some of the finer things in life, including a passion for high heels. Think of yourself as a pioneer, exploring new territory. You only live once, so make the most of it. Steve

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Normal is very over rated

That's for sure!

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Exactly what person gets to define what is or isn't normal?

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Alot of people have dennis me in heels. Not many close people know of my feminine side. I may change that in the near future. I have talked to this guy who is a family friend of my girlfriend. When I first met him you could tell he liked the feminine side of things. We just recently located some pics of him dressed in drag. I think I will be asking him about his heel collection.

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Officially, just my wife. I keep my heels and other stuff in the bedroom closet. My kids are grown now, but I remember when I was a kid home alone I would explore all over the house, so I'm sure my kids did that as well. Bottom line is that they probably know but they never said anything about it and neither did I. Maybe one of these days I'll ask them... Which actually leads me to another question. Has anybody asked their grown kids whether or not they know about it? I'm not quite sure how I would go about it, but would love to hear about anybody else's experience.

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I told my partner about three years ago, and I felt so good after getting that off my chest. After that, I thought I wanted everyone to know, so that I could could be free to wear heels all the time. I started wearing heels out in public more and more about 6 months later, and it seemed to go pretty well, gradually increasing my confidence. I started to feel quite confident and people seemed to be accepting. Then, after a few months of thinking all was good and I was just about ready to tell my my parents and siblings, I started to have a long series of one bad experience after another with negative reactions from strangers. Most of them were humiliating, one made me fear for my safety, all left my feelings badly hurt. I don't believe that I am generally thin-skinned, but my confidence after all that was completely shattered, and I now have no desire to even try public heeling again. Also, I don't think there's any chance that I will ever tell anyone else, family, friend, whatever. I do still wear my heels at home all the time, even outside where my neighbors can see because they have already seen me in heels previously, but that's it. Sorry to be a downer, but that's my experience to date.

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My partner HATES my boots as well...Ridicules me when I wear even higher heeled cowboy boots...We have been together for many years, but this is a big problem in our relationship. Other than that, just my online buddies, and a few real life bootbuds know about the hiheel boots I love/wear..

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I told my partner about three years ago, and I felt so good after getting that off my chest. After that, I thought I wanted everyone to know, so that I could could be free to wear heels all the time. I started wearing heels out in public more and more about 6 months later, and it seemed to go pretty well, gradually increasing my confidence. I started to feel quite confident and people seemed to be accepting. Then, after a few months of thinking all was good and I was just about ready to tell my my parents and siblings, I started to have a long series of one bad experience after another with negative reactions from strangers. Most of them were humiliating, one made me fear for my safety, all left my feelings badly hurt. I don't believe that I am generally thin-skinned, but my confidence after all that was completely shattered, and I now have no desire to even try public heeling again. Also, I don't think there's any chance that I will ever tell anyone else, family, friend, whatever. I do still wear my heels at home all the time, even outside where my neighbors can see because they have already seen me in heels previously, but that's it. Sorry to be a downer, but that's my experience to date.

No need to be sorry, that would have been a terrible experience. One that more than likely is the reason most of us keep our heel wearing private. I don't think anyone would feel good after that. Glad ur still wearing yr heels.

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Thanks for your honesty dblair, unfortunately there can be negative reactions out there too, and fear for your safety is a very rational concern to have. You seem to feel that it was probably more than just chance that things turned bad. Of course I can't speak for you, but I think my most negative reactions were either because I became over-confident and wasn't so cautious about where I wore my heels, or conversely when I was lacking in confidence and perhaps my nervousness showed and made me more exposed to negative reactions. I think that wearing heels in public doesn't have to be "all or nothing" and I hope you find the confidence to wear your heels in a safe environment if that's what you really want.

Edited by SleekHeels

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Thanks for your honesty dblair, unfortunately there can be negative reactions out there too, and fear for your safety is a very rational concern to have. You seem to feel that it was probably more than just chance that things turned bad. Of course I can't speak for you, but I think my most negative reactions were either because I became over-confident and wasn't so cautious about where I wore my heels, or conversely when I was lacking in confidence and perhaps my nervousness showed and made me more exposed to negative reactions.

I think that wearing heels in public doesn't have to be "all or nothing" and I hope you find the confidence to wear your heels in a safe environment if that's what you really want.

That's very well said, and that must be why there are days when I don't feel like streetheeling, and some other days when I wear heels without thinking twice about doing it.

The mood and the occasion are certainly major keys to avoid negative experiences.

Edited by Marion

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how did you tell your partner dblair.

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how did you tell your partner dblair.

I had multiple glasses of wine (for courage, lol), then just came right out with it.

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