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What Is Your Opinion On This Situation?


Steve63130

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Back in February I ordered and received a pair of Aerosoles Born Free sandals in black. http://www.aerosoles.com/eng/product/born_free/born-free After I got them I wrote a review that I thought was very factual and detailed and would be helpful to others. I clearly noted that I was male. The review was posted just as I wrote it. I posted here on HHPlace about this purchase and the posted product review in one of the threads here. Now it is five months later, the style is on sale, and I happened to look at it again. There are now 6 reviews. I was astonished to learn that my review (the one by "Aeroloyal") not only had the most "helpful" votes (13) but also by far the most "unhelpful" votes (6). Well, I'm glad 13 people thought the review was helpful, and I hope some of them were fellow heelers from this forum, but I'm really perplexed at the 6 who thought the review was unhelpful. How could anyone think that the detail I provided is not helpful? Or were the votes from women who were really saying they thought the review was inappropriate because it was from a male, and men shouldn't be wearing women's shoes? None of the other 5 reviews had more than one "unhelpful" vote, and most had none, What is your opinion? Steve

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Hi Steve, I wouldn't sweat it. It's the Internet, and any schmuck with a pulse can click "like" or "dislike". Just read the article comments of USAToday or MSN, and if you're like me, you'll wonder if some of the commenters just learned how to walk on two legs. My hunch is the ones who found your comment helpful were ones who either found it detailed enough that it was actually helpful to them, or they clicked it because they thought it was cool that you were a guy and not afraid to wear them. The ones who disliked were probably ones who thought it was just too weird that a guy would be commenting on "women's" shoes and that was their only means of expressing their disapproval.

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Sure the "unhelpful" voters might disapprove of a guy wearing heels or even a wife's approval of her husband wearing heels. They might just disapprove of the guy pointing out that he's a guy - maybe they feel it's invaded their space, or just that a guys experiences are irrelevant to them. But do keep in mind that you got over twice as meny "helpful" votes, which is probably disproportionately positive compared to what we sometimes expect society's attitude to be.

If you like it, wear it.

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Steve63130, Like radiodave says it's the Internet where anybody can chime in even if the precious air they breathe is worth far more than what comes out of their mouth or is written by their hand. They are anonymous trolls that you'll never see or hear which is exactly where sewer rats belong. You took the time to write a review and some unnamed and faceless people didn't like it. They don't know what a positive force you are but we do. Their comments are like those bugs you have to scrape off the windsheild every 300-400 miles... just another part of the landscape one has to put up with but one easily remedied. Twice as many people appreciated you and the majority dictates in nearly all situations. HappyinHeels

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Take it as a compliment, i mean it's 1/3rd of the people who didn't like the review, and we can only put up assumptions what their real reaction was. Considering other vote sides and articles where voting is around 50% (men wearing high heels), i think its a big improvement, otherwise agree with the other commenters, you just can't feed the trolls enough to make them happy :D Last but not least, i think those shoes are quite unisex to me :)

Don't worry, be happy - in heels! :rocker:

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How could anyone think that the detail I provided is not helpful? Or were the votes from women who were really saying they thought the review was inappropriate because it was from a male, and men shouldn't be wearing women's shoes? None of the other 5 reviews had more than one "unhelpful" vote, and most had none,

What is your opinion?

Having read a lot of reviews of styles marketed to women, I have noticed that reviews by men who indicated that they wear the style do get more "not helpful" votes. I look for reviews by men and there's no question in my mind about this. One site I've visited moves the reviews by men to a segregated area not accessible from the product page. Reviews on some sites are probably removed when visitors report them as "innappropriate".

I like your review and find it helpful. Personally, a product review from me would indicate my sex, but not discuss issues about acceptance of men's fashion choices.

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Thank you everyone! All very good comments. I'm not "sweating the small stuff" here, just more curious than anything as to why so many negative votes, but I appreciate everyone's support and insights. And yes, I agree the shoes are unisex, and I have them in both black and brown. They're very comfortable, too, and a bargain at the sale price. Any more comments from others? Steve

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This is one of those times; when letting everyone know you do somethoing diffrent can get a bad response. I feel people's response to your review is the same as if someone "comes out the closet". While i understand your review it was as if you felt the need to tell people you are a guy. Then you said but i have narrow feet. So in reality how would that help a guy looking at those shoes? Most guys have avg to wide feet. I have written reviews on payless in the past. The review is on the shoes not by the way i'm a guy who wears these shoes. Sorry if this upsets you.

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IMHO, this all goes back to people reacting the IDEA of a guy in heels as opposed to responding to the REALITY. They are confronted with their own demons from within their imaginations that text based evangelization creates, rather than the reality that could be presented in person. Text based evangelization eliminates voice pitch, voice volume, voice tone, speech rates and body language communications that a heeler can control in Real Life.

Feminine Style .  Masculine Soul.  Skin In The Game.

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Without meaning any disrespect, I cannot believe that there is a thread on this topic let alone that people are serious in their replies to it: A. I would't bother writing a review. B. I just wouldn't give a toss whether people thought it was "helpful" or not. Just don't lose any sleep over it, it really doesn't matter. What I mean is perhaps the dislikes have absolutely nothing to do with the fact you're a guy, perhaps it could be women thinking that you reviewed it as fitting you well but then they have no way of knowing if they will fit them.

Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.

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Without meaning any disrespect, I cannot believe that there is a thread on this topic let alone that people are serious in their replies to it:

A. I would't bother writing a review.

B. I just wouldn't give a toss whether people thought it was "helpful" or not.

Just don't lose any sleep over it, it really doesn't matter. What I mean is perhaps the dislikes have absolutely nothing to do with the fact you're a guy, perhaps it could be women thinking that you reviewed it as fitting you well but then they have no way of knowing if they will fit them.

Yet you yourself write a serious "A, B" reply. haha

Feminine Style .  Masculine Soul.  Skin In The Game.

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wxman, Good comments, thank you. I'm kind of torn between just reviewing the shoes without revealing my gender, and trying to educate the world that some of us guys like wearing heels, too. Sure, I could have ignored the gender comment. I didn't need to state it for my sake. I wanted to let readers know that this was a good choice for guys who may be so inclined. KH: Very good point about perception and reality. Thank you. KH and Dr. S: Play nice, now! LOL Dr. S: I promise not to lose sleep over this. I was just a bit surprised by the ratio of thumbs down to thumbs up and I thought it would make for an interesting discussion. So far I think it has. Thanks for your comments. Steve

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Greetings Steve. Im on the same stance as Dr. Shoe. F-em. You gave YOUR honest opinion of a product. The problem is, we dont know everybody. I did a write-up/Review on a Charvel Guitar. Its the white one in my Avatar. Ive had it since 1986. They did a re-issue of an older line and wanted a comparison to the newer ones. Low and behold, the comments of ' They sucked back then and still suck today ' came out. 3500$ for a guitar.. and it ' sucks '. The thing has seen beatings on tours, been abused night in and night out, still is in one piece and has lasted 35+years.. 1986.. and it ' sucks '. Disregard the negatives. If that type of footware works for YOU, so be it. If others have a problem with it, its their problem, not yours. -ILK

REPEATEDLY ARGUMENTATIVE, INSULTING AND RUDE. BANNED FOR LIFE.

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Steve, Who knows why folks put what they put.. Interesting observation though. The best part is that more folks found your review helpful!! I always review shoes that I have purchased, and always say that I am a guy. And the reviews get posted each time. I just ordered a pair of Lauren "Nance" heeled thongs from Zappos, and will write a review when they get here. Take care... sf

"Why should girls have all the fun!!"

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Me personally, I felt the whole "Im a guy and I wear these and my wife is fine with it" comments were kinda pointless to the whole thing. Your review was good, it gave good insight onto the shoes but people are reading the reviews to see what people thought of the shoes, not to see what sex the person is and what thier home life is like. I could understand if the shoes were aimed at men, like on Solestruck.com, the mens section has heels and they're designed for men, so in that context I can understand, but to me a simple "The sizing is really good, especially as I am a male and have bigger feet!" would have done well enough. Needless to say it's a review on a shoe website on the internet. That kinda sums it up really.

What Other People Think Of Me, Ain't None Of My Buisness ~ RuPaul

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ILK: Thanks for the example and the advice. I appreciate your response. SF: Good comments, and I really like those Lauren "Nance" sandals. Let us know how you like them when you get them. They're cool. LAL: Yeah, in retrospect I was probably too defensive saying what I did and the way I did. I'll take your advice and keep it simpler next time. Thanks for your reply. Steve

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ILK: Thanks for the example and the advice. I appreciate your response.

Steve

Steve.. Just something to ALWAYS remember.

When you hit the power button on your computer, and it turns off.. all those comments/reviews go away and become meaningless. In all actuality, they are irrelevant and shouldnt hinder you in any way.

I wake up in the morning, S/S/S, get dressed and go do estimates. Sometimes I go to the studio.

Theres life away from the internet and its so much more important. ;)

-ILK

REPEATEDLY ARGUMENTATIVE, INSULTING AND RUDE. BANNED FOR LIFE.

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I think this is a thought-provoking topic. As a counter-example I wondered how a review in a male-dominated domain might be received if the review-writer made a point of stating she's a woman. In the article I found on womens soccer boots (link below) there was very little discussion of what makes a soccer boot specifically womens, and most of the feedback posts were actually about guys wanting to wear them, a most unexpected parallel with the world of heels!

http://www.soccerbib...white-pink.aspx

I hope I've not strayed too far from your original topic Steve.

Edited by SleekHeels

If you like it, wear it.

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ILK, thanks for the additional comments. I assure you I'm balanced and don't spend all my life on the Internet. I do have my priorities and my head is on straight (last I checked). SleekHeels, I'm glad you think it's a thought-provoking topic. I thought it was, too. Your counter-example is a good one, but we know fashion is a one way street when it comes to wearing clothing intended for the other gender. Women can do it easily; men have a more difficult time of it. Steve

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I think this is a thought-provoking topic. As a counter-example I wondered how a review in a male-dominated domain might be received if the review-writer made a point of stating she's a woman. In the article I found on womens soccer boots (link below) there was very little discussion of what makes a soccer boot specifically womens, and most of the feedback posts were actually about guys wanting to wear them, a most unexpected parallel with the world of heels!

http://www.soccerbib...white-pink.aspx

I hope I've not strayed too far from your original topic Steve.

I find it rather odd how all those guys raved about the color yet never mentioned anything about the functionality. Those ' boots ' are for playing on the field.. not a one of those ' blokes ' ( I think Im using the right term here ) stated anything about how well or even how badly they gripped turf.

They all just ranted about the color.

I catch some flack about one of my guitars. Its NEON HOT PINK. Same color as the heels in my avatar. The color doesnt matter, the sound does. The same should apply with those ' boots '. Color is secondary after function.

ILK, thanks for the additional comments. I assure you I'm balanced and don't spend all my life on the Internet. I do have my priorities and my head is on straight (last I checked).

SleekHeels, I'm glad you think it's a thought-provoking topic. I thought it was, too. Your counter-example is a good one, but we know fashion is a one way street when it comes to wearing clothing intended for the other gender. Women can do it easily; men have a more difficult time of it.

Steve

This is quite a thought provoking subject.

I think ' Men ' have a ' more difficult time of it ' due to our own hangups and worries. I dont speak too often about endowment or anything of that nature, but last time I looked, I thought I was equipped, yet I dont have that male ' difficult time ' nor do many others ( probably including yourself ).

Im sure there are reservations on the womens side of some clothing items. There are garments of both genders that they wouldnt be caught dead in!

-ILK

REPEATEDLY ARGUMENTATIVE, INSULTING AND RUDE. BANNED FOR LIFE.

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Steve, I am estonished on how hard you take it. Your review got the most feedback !! I have written reviews, I would simply be VERY happy that so many people read my review and, better, give any feedback at all !! On the contrary, I try not to spend too much time reading reviews before buying items. Reading the most helpful reviews, helps to quickly grab the piece of inforrmation that could make you cancel your order. There are great chances that other reviews only apply to the persons that wrote them. As an example for shoes, ou often get the raw information in the description area ("black patent etc."). Now a critical view is not provided ("a bad choice of matter not enough resistant in this shape etc.").. This you can only have in the reviews, provided that the reviewer was diplomate enough...

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ILK, interestingly maybe the colour draws attention to the playing, as in "whoa! that's a pink guitar/boots but hey he plays guitar/soccer really well !"... it's quite a clever way of breaking down daft colour prejudices through talent... I think I take that approach to wearing heels in general with the "whoa! he's wearing heels but hey he seems like a decent guy" reaction I aspire to. That gets to the root of Steve's original question as to why his review might be somehow invalidated just because of his gender.

I don't think women necessarily have an easier time of it. Just as a counter-example to the "men have harder time of it" argument, there was recently a story in the uk about a female athlete Zoe Smith who was branded a "bloke/lesbian" because of her choice of sport (weightlifting), which I think is daft as she seems very pretty/feminine and also a dedicated athlete which is really admirable and inspirational. She's certainly a far more worthy role-model (for guys or girls) than any man/woman who reacts in such a narrow-minded way, be it a reaction to female athletes or guys in heels. It makes me think of a quote I read recently:

"... was there ever a woman without vanity? - or a man either? Only with this difference, that among gentlemen the commodity is generally stiled ambition." - Caroline Herschel.

Edited by SleekHeels

If you like it, wear it.

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ILK, interestingly maybe the colour draws attention to the playing, as in "whoa! that's a pink guitar/boots but hey he plays guitar/soccer really well !"... it's quite a clever way of breaking down daft colour prejudices through talent... I think I take that approach to wearing heels in general with the "whoa! he's wearing heels but hey he seems like a decent guy" reaction I aspire to. That gets to the root of Steve's original question as to why his review might be somehow invalidated just because of his gender.

Might be. Im not limited to just 1 pink colored guitar though. I have somewhere in the neighborhood of 30ish different guitars of varying colors ;)

It might be the talent displayed as well. a lot of people used to critique Boy George but I dont think too many people would question his vocal talents regardless of what he wore. I couldnt answer for the whole soccer thing though as Im not a fan.

REPEATEDLY ARGUMENTATIVE, INSULTING AND RUDE. BANNED FOR LIFE.

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Back in February I ordered and received a pair of Aerosoles Born Free sandals in black.

http://www.aerosoles..._free/born-free

After I got them I wrote a review that I thought was very factual and detailed and would be helpful to others. I clearly noted that I was male. The review was posted just as I wrote it. I posted here on HHPlace about this purchase and the posted product review in one of the threads here.

Now it is five months later, the style is on sale, and I happened to look at it again. There are now 6 reviews. I was astonished to learn that my review (the one by "Aeroloyal") not only had the most "helpful" votes (13) but also by far the most "unhelpful" votes (6).

Well, I'm glad 13 people thought the review was helpful, and I hope some of them were fellow heelers from this forum, but I'm really perplexed at the 6 who thought the review was unhelpful. How could anyone think that the detail I provided is not helpful? Or were the votes from women who were really saying they thought the review was inappropriate because it was from a male, and men shouldn't be wearing women's shoes? None of the other 5 reviews had more than one "unhelpful" vote, and most had none,

What is your opinion?

Steve

My opinion is that 99.5% of women hate the idea of men wearing womens shoes and this is an obvious way of showing it. Not news to me.

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Solid review. But the irrelevant information added - marital status, male mode of dress while in heels - on top of your initial declaration of gender, was so distracting and out of the blue, that I can see where people would end up commenting on that bit instead of the review as a whole. In the context of a product review, they found that information unhelpful. Your being male could be deemed relevant to the product review. Your desire to inform the world that there are men who dress like men and wear heels, was deemed less so. At the end of the day: never matters what internet strangers think (and yes, I see the irony, and am amused by it).

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Thanks to everyone for the comments and opinions. All very interesting. Please understand I'm not at all devastated by the large number of "unhelpful" votes. I merely brought it up as an interesting observation. Steve

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Hey, it's the Internet. Check the comments section on Youtube -- half of them are so inane they will make you fear for the future of humanity!

Have a happy time!

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I once wrote a review for a pair of womens black ankle boots from Pavers shoes and my comment stayed in the review section until the boots were no longer available. I will be buying another pair of ankle boots from them and I will do a review after I have had them a while. If you look in the womens shoes section there is a pair of black mary jane style shoes with a few reviews and three of them are from men. I only look at reviews to see what people say about the true fitting etc so I can order my correct size.

life is not a rehearsal

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Steve63130, Quite a number of replies after all but don't lose sight of why anyone is writing a review. You, the customer, are offering feedback to a company for a product they sold to you and NOT looking for either consensus or acceptance from others viewing those reviews. It is a dialogue between YOU and the company. Think about it...you cannot interact with those that either thought your review was helpful or not helpful so Dr. Shoe is right in her statement to "not give a toss" and don't lose any sleep over it. Taking the time to communicate with the companies we all do business with is always a worthwhile pursuit. You keep right on writing Steve! HappyinHeels

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