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Guilty for admiring?


radiodave

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Don't know why I feel guilty for catching sight of an absolutely lovely pair of heels today. Walking out of the mall I caught sight of a woman, maybe 25-30, in a white dress, wearing heels that I couldn't take my eyes off. She was catching a car at the valet pickup outside Saks. Tall 4" or so sandals, tan, with 3 straps crisscrossing their way up her leg with 3 buckles. No platforms, nice pedicure, and I went to the extent of changing direction just to walk past her. Oh my.... :unsure: I feel like I must creep women out for staring at their heels, but clearly if they are not that practical for walking and take some time to buckle them up then they must be to attract attention. Well, she got my attention! :mecry:

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Dont feel guilty,after all,you would not feel guilty staring at any other beautiful,captivating work of art,would you?.I know exactly what you mean though,but Im sure they wear sexy heels to catch our attention,as well as the great feeling they give to wear.Everyone wins.:unsure:

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Sorry if a girl decides to wear what is barely a skirt, tall shoes a top she is virtually falling out of and don't like guys looking then there's something wrong with her and not you. Ok a more extreme description than that you saw done with style. Being challenged by "are you perving my shoes" and replying positively yes they are gorgeous, a sorry that I was obvious and extending further compliments will defuse the situation, could find that special friend? Al

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Yes. It's like the girl who spends many thousands on a boob job and then wears a low cut top and then complains that men are looking at her tits!

Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Exactly. A girl I used to know was quite beautiful with nice boobs and was wearing a low cut top. She said "Are you staring at my boobs? That creeps me out!" I said "Why do you dress like that if you don't want people to look?" That shut her up!

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I can just imagine the response if a guy casually told a woman "nice boobs" as if he were complimenting a pair of shoes.

Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.

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I hope people look at me (or maybe I wish they did lol). The eyes up and down thing can be disconcerting if done wrong.

Done right and picking up the positive comments is a real boost to anyones ego.

Al

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I did the same thing today. Well, kinda. I was walking through the train station, and saw some really nice heels on an attractive young lady. The shoes were really nice, and I felt myself checking them out for a bit longer than was maybe 'normal'. Well, I don't care. I'm sure she'd have been complimented if she knew.

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I did the same thing today. Well, kinda. I was walking through the train station, and saw some really nice heels on an attractive young lady. The shoes were really nice, and I felt myself checking them out for a bit longer than was maybe 'normal'. Well, I don't care. I'm sure she'd have been complimented if she knew.

I'm sure she would. And, chaps, do you know what a spoken compliment can do? Obviously there's got to be some subtlety, but you'd be surprised how little. I've had my day made by having an unknown chap say, 'Excuse me, but can I just tell you how pretty you look in that dress?' The trick is to compliment us, not the shoes or the dress or whatever. You're such lovely chaps, I don't mind giving these secrets away.
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Have done this hundreds of times, mostly unnoticed I think but some times you just have to say something. I always mention that I'm married for example. "those are lovely shoes, I'd like to get my wife a pair" or similar. I think it puts the lady at ease as they realise you are not coming on to them, hopefully Megan will agree.

High heels are the shoes I choose to put on, respect my choice as I repect yours.

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Have done this hundreds of times, mostly unnoticed I think but some times you just have to say something. I always mention that I'm married for example. "those are lovely shoes, I'd like to get my wife a pair" or similar. I think it puts the lady at ease as they realise you are not coming on to them, hopefully Megan will agree.

Oh, absolutely, but compliment me, not my shoes. I don't mind if you're coming on to me; I know how to say no. I'm astonished that you chaps can take no so often and come back for more. But certainly, when I'm given a compliment my sincerity radar seems to go on the blink.
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I hope people look at me (or maybe I wish they did lol). The eyes up and down thing can be disconcerting if done wrong.

I've noticed that when I'm wearing my heels some women do give me that "up and down" look that I only ever see them give to other women... before I experienced it I always used to think it was done in a very harsh and critical way, but having been on the receiving end of that look it feels quite flattering to have been detected by someone's fashion radar. I find myself automatically checking out what she's wearing too, and a simple exchange of smiles puts a totally different perspective on things.

The trick is to compliment us, not the shoes or the dress or whatever. You're such lovely chaps, I don't mind giving these secrets away.

That's the thing, guys often use compliments as "tricks" rather than with sincerity, and women know it almost to the point that the possibility of sincerity is excluded. I think when I'm wearing my heels it makes it easier to compliment a woman, believing that she'll be more receptive to the fact that I'm genuinely admiring her and not letching. But at the same time I feel like the fact that I'm wearing heels instantly dismisses any notion she might have that I find her attractive.

Given all that, I don't feel guilty for admiring because I know that I'm doing so with sincerity. If anything I do feel a little regret when I don't give a compliment that I really ought to give.

If you like it, wear it.

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I've noticed that when I'm wearing my heels some women do give me that "up and down" look that I only ever see them give to other women... before I experienced it I always used to think it was done in a very harsh and critical way, but having been on the receiving end of that look it feels quite flattering to have been detected by someone's fashion radar. I find myself automatically checking out what she's wearing too, and a simple exchange of smiles puts a totally different perspective on things.

That's the thing, guys often use compliments as "tricks" rather than with sincerity, and women know it almost to the point that the possibility of sincerity is excluded. I think when I'm wearing my heels it makes it easier to compliment a woman, believing that she'll be more receptive to the fact that I'm genuinely admiring her and not letching. But at the same time I feel like the fact that I'm wearing heels instantly dismisses any notion she might have that I find her attractive.

Given all that, I don't feel guilty for admiring because I know that I'm doing so with sincerity. If anything I do feel a little regret when I don't give a compliment that I really ought to give.

I think you're overthinking it. I'm not (and I'm going to guess most girls are the same) very trickable, and I know how to deal with lechers. Disdain usually works. But why would I want to think you didn't find me attractive? I want to fill men's dreams, want them to pine for me, want to turn gay men straight. Never going to happen, cruel, cruel world. Please don't help the world be cruel. Say something nice to me, just for the hell of it. You'd be surprised how good it makes you feel even though you're not going to get sex out of it. I'll probably (this is just me, not other girls) weep some happy tears later . Edited by meganiwish
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Oh, absolutely, but compliment me, not my shoes. I don't mind if you're coming on to me; I know how to say no. I'm astonished that you chaps can take no so often and come back for more. But certainly, when I'm given a compliment my sincerity radar seems to go on the blink.

Megan if I feel the need to compliment a woman then I genuinely will be complimenting her even if I refer just to her shoes, you ladies pick this up instantly I think. If I were single and found the lady attractive I would hve no issue coming on to her (nicely) and with regards to them saying no then clearly the man is not trying hard enough to impress such a wonderful woman that you clearly are.

I've noticed that when I'm wearing my heels some women do give me that "up and down" look that I only ever see them give to other women... before I experienced it I always used to think it was done in a very harsh and critical way, but having been on the receiving end of that look it feels quite flattering to have been detected by someone's fashion radar. I find myself automatically checking out what she's wearing too, and a simple exchange of smiles puts a totally different perspective on things.

That's the thing, guys often use compliments as "tricks" rather than with sincerity, and women know it almost to the point that the possibility of sincerity is excluded. I think when I'm wearing my heels it makes it easier to compliment a woman, believing that she'll be more receptive to the fact that I'm genuinely admiring her and not letching. But at the same time I feel like the fact that I'm wearing heels instantly dismisses any notion she might have that I find her attractive.

Given all that, I don't feel guilty for admiring because I know that I'm doing so with sincerity. If anything I do feel a little regret when I don't give a compliment that I really ought to give.

Nothing wrong with 'letching' over a woman in my opinion, if a woman fits my type and I think she's hot then 'm not going to be thinking about have afternoon tea with her. Clearly the way I then present myself to her is a different matter. I'm sure ladies like the fact they are sexually attractive to men but of course want to be treated like a lady.

High heels are the shoes I choose to put on, respect my choice as I repect yours.

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Megan if I feel the need to compliment a woman then I genuinely will be complimenting her even if I refer just to her shoes, you ladies pick this up instantly I think. If I were single and found the lady attractive I would hve no issue coming on to her (nicely) and with regards to them saying no then clearly the man is not trying hard enough to impress such a wonderful woman that you clearly are.

Nothing wrong with 'letching' over a woman in my opinion, if a woman fits my type and I think she's hot then 'm not going to be thinking about have afternoon tea with her. Clearly the way I then present myself to her is a different matter. I'm sure ladies like the fact they are sexually attractive to men but of course want to be treated like a lady.

Oh no, not wonderful, but thank you :unsure: . Not so used to being come on to either. I'd be flattered, but I'd still probably say no. Then again, who knows where treating me to afternoon tea might lead! Edited by meganiwish
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Yes.

It's like the girl who spends many thousands on a boob job and then wears a low cut top and then complains that men are looking at her tits!

I must be wierd, I look at boobs first, then heels.

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There's absolutely no excuse for men not to comment on a womans appearance when she's obviously taken time over it.

Yes you are absolutely right, if a lady makes an effort she should be complimented. I have not met a lady yet who doesn't appreciate it.

who knows where treating me to afternoon tea might lead!

breakfast hopefully

;-) :-)

High heels are the shoes I choose to put on, respect my choice as I repect yours.

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Thanks Meganiwish and Amanda for your insight. I think and feel that the art of complimenting a woman on how takes care of and shows herself has been lost in the "don't want to cause a problem" or "will I be perceived as a pervert if say something". In the same way men have a problem expressing how they like certain things. I see a paralell by many us here and in society by not saying anything or doing anything will in fact create nothing. By not saying anything, and I must say "positive compliments", we create our own void. It is like us, "men, wearing what we want", we fret about what others will think of us, all we want is to be accepted and what would blow our minds if someone complimented us for making effort to be ourselves while wearing a nice pair of heeled shoes. Meganiwish, thank you for making it easy for us to understand, I will make more effort to make those compliments to all make the effort. Mtnsofheels

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  • 2 weeks later...

Please don't feel guilty. Be brave. One of my nicest experiences was when my husband and I were waiting for a train on the London Underground. A young man rushed over to us slightly red in the face and said "Excuse me but I have to tell you how stunning you look wearing those shoes." Before either of us could answer more than "Thank you" he rushed off and squeezed onto the train just as the doors were closing. All we could do was smile and wave to him as he looked back through the window of the train which was rapidly disappering into the tunnel. I was wearing my favourite black court shoes with no platform, rounded toes and a slightly thick 5 inch heel, so I knew he must have had good taste! It made our day!

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Just last night at the salon my wife and I visit, I was seated in the lobby waiting my turn for a manicure and pedicure. My wife had already gone inside to get her hair done. One of the hairdressers came out to the lobby, and caught my attention. She was petite, with skinny jeans, a beige flouncy top, and beige patent pumps. Me: Those are stunning heels and you look fabulous in them. Her (blushing from the compliment): Why, thank you! Me: What brand are they? Her: Mossimo Me: Oh, from Target? Her: Yes, I buy a lot of my shoes from there. Me: Good for you. They have some great styles. Have a good evening! Her: Thanks, you too! Wow, did I make her day! She was beaming! She didn't say anything about my Aerosoles "Born Free" sandals, but that's ok. Steve

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