Cl0setheels Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I'm a little freaked out and wondering what to do. I was busy in my bedroom cleaning and moving furniture around. I just got a new tv and had to make some room for it. My dad came up in my room asked some questions. He's quite nosey and out of the blue he looked in the drawer of my nightstand. And there they where, a pair of high heeled boots. He asked why i had a pair of boots and if the belonged to 'whats her name'. I said he should keep his paws of my stuff and shut the drawer. I got a little angry. After i ignored the question further he went back down again after asking some more questions about my tv. I wonder if he told my mom anything about what he saw. And i'm thinking of asking my mother if he said anything and telling her myself. But i'm not sure about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Good greif, you are over 30 years old! Grow up, and talk to them. What are they going to do? Throw you out? Hello,  my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee!  👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shafted Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I've always said I'd cross that bridge when I come to it. You've come to it imroter. Any plans? Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cl0setheels Posted March 10, 2012 Author Share Posted March 10, 2012 @ hoverfly I'm living temporary with my parents. Moved from the other end of the country back home for a new job. The company where i worked went bankrupt Can't find a house for rent that quickly here so didn't have a lot of options. But thats beside the point. I've had a very hard time with myself about liking heels. Let alone telling anyone. And they probably won't kick me out, but i find it rather difficult to tell them. I've always said I'd cross that bridge when I come to it. You've come to it imroter. Any plans? I'm not sure of my dad said anything to my mom. I'm thinking of asking her about that and go from there. What makes it even more difficult that i don't want to burden them with more of my stuff. I can be quite depressed from time to time and thats allready hard enough on my mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shafted Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I'm not sure of my dad said anything to my mom. I'm thinking of asking her about that and go from there. What makes it even more difficult that i don't want to burden them with more of my stuff. I can be quite depressed from time to time and thats allready hard enough on my mom. Are you depressed when you're in heels? If not, heels just could be the anti-depressant of choice. Don't you think your mom would rather see you happy. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cl0setheels Posted March 10, 2012 Author Share Posted March 10, 2012 I can be, but the usually make me feel better and calm me down. So you're right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPotter Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I was 23 when my mum had an inkling I wore heels, She asked me why I had 3 pairs in my room. I came out and told her. I liked wearing heels, and someday I would wear them outside., she was very understanding, as Im sure your mum would be. go ahead and tell her, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pumps Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I'm not sure of my dad said anything to my mom. I'm thinking of asking her about that and go from there. What makes it even more difficult that i don't want to burden them with more of my stuff. I can be quite depressed from time to time and thats allready hard enough on my mom. I know people are different, but my mom has been very supportive. You might be surprised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cl0setheels Posted March 10, 2012 Author Share Posted March 10, 2012 I guess i should, just have to find the right moment. Don't want my dad around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newheeler Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Yep yep, moms are more forgiving anyways, find the good time and sooner than your dad I dont think she will make big deal of it, especially if you explain her the things. Don't worry, be happy - in heels! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roniheels Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 You know your parents better than anyone else. Honesty is always the best policy. But you also don't want to overcome them with this reality. When you tell them about your feelings about high heels, tell them how comfortable you are wearing them, and you know they love you and you love them and you hope that they will accept your decision. And tell them anytime they want to talk to you about the subject, tell them you will make time for them. Hopefully this helps, but it is just one suggestion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shafted Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Excellent suggestion roniheels. Keep the lines of communication open. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve63130 Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Imroter, once you go ahead and tell your mom, and she tells your dad, you can relax, breathe more easily, and calm down. The secret will be out, and you will feel so much better. You can probably even wear the boots in front of your parents. Wouldn't that be great? Your parents love you, and no matter what you wear on your feet, they will still love you. That's all that really matters. Just be honest. Good luck! Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raymond.nl Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Tell her. "I've been meaning to tell you this for some time now..." Even my quite conservative mom has been understanding, because no matter what I'll always be her son. PS: ... en in Nederland ligt acceptatie volgens mij hoger dan in andere delen van de wereld, dus hoog tijd voor een "he ma(m) weet je"-gesprek! Hup, niet treuzelen! :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyinHeels Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 imroter, Unconditional love for someone is rather hard for many to master as we let society's stereotypes get in the way. Once the dust settles on this you should, I believe, still enjoy the same relationship with your parents you had BEFORE you told them. Then you'll know for sure. Bless You at this time in your life. HappyinHeels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tech Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I guess i should, just have to find the right moment. Don't want my dad around. I've said this many times before and I'll say it again... WHY is it "Something you need to "chat" about... If you had some nice new jeans, do you feel the need to "find the right time to tell your parents" about them? New trainers/sneakers? A new hat? No, of course not, you just wear them, and those who pay attention "might" notice and compliment them, others will simply ignore it... Its footwear, put them on, and "just wear them"... Your not running away to join a cult for crying out loud! If your parents ask why you have them or who they belong to, then so be it, simple question gets a simple answer of "Tryin something new and cool, and there mine" Case closed... Hiding them away in a drawer shows you have something to hide, something your NOT happy about or comfortable with, unless of course you keep ALL of your shoes in your nightstand? Put them out with your other shoes, wear them around the house, its your feet, and "its only shoes" So unless they are something totally innappropriate, and un-coordinated that scream fetish or "totally femme", then whats to stress over! Learn to walk before you try to run... Out of interest, what boots are they exactly? Can you show us? Heels for Men // Legwear Fashion // HHPlace Guidelines If something doesn't look right, please report the content ASAP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiveAndLearn Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I've seen this a lot on the fourms, i'd just like to bring it up, not critically, just as an observation: So unless they are something totally innappropriate, and un-coordinated that scream fetish or "totally femme", then whats to stress over! I think it's safe to say that heels in general, for the majoirty are pretty femanine. Granted there are thousands upon thousands of shoes, mainly boots, that are designed in a certain way to not scream anything other than... boot with a heel, and indeed this is the preference for many men and women in this forum. However, for the most part, heels are pretty femanine, probably because mentally we accosiate heels with women, therefore most styles seem femanine, but if he, or indeed anyone else, such as me, enjoyed "femme" styles of heels, do we have something to stress over? Are we in danger more? Ar we more to blame for you sterotype gone across the board for all male heel wearers? Nevertheless, imroter, No one here can tell you what you can or can't do, nor do we know what your realtionship is like with your parents or what thier views are. All I can say is do what you think is right. My mother found my heels out on my floor, and she asked why I have them and I said it was for Halloween, of course she probably knows they aren't, and nothing has been said since, however it was a perfect time to tell her. I can completely sympathise with your situation with your father. My mum even said to me, "We wont tell your father." simply because we know the outcome would be very awkward, however it wouldn't be bad in the sence of him not speaking to me. It's mianly just a situation they'd both rather aviod for now I guess. I hope you figure out what is the best path for you to chose, you'll know eventually just give it a think over. It's not the end of the world, and trust me, from a guy who's had to tell thier parents a lot of hard things, (Being gay, getting arrested, failing school ect), the first few moments will be the hardest, after that people learn to live, love and move on. We'll all be here for you! 1 What Other People Think Of Me, Ain't None Of My Buisness ~ RuPaul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tech Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 I said that in relation to "telling his parents" and to all who fear "telling those close to them"... not as a whole or sweeping statement to all guys... Heels for Men // Legwear Fashion // HHPlace Guidelines If something doesn't look right, please report the content ASAP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilikekicks Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 Couple things.. Tech stated : "Its footwear, put them on, and just wear them... Your not running away to join a cult for crying out loud!" In all actuality, people would rather respect someone and at the same time be ' disappointed ' at us for being honest then have us.. how to put this nicely.. ' hide the truth ' or not present it where they do find out about it later. We just need to be who we are, nothing more or nothing less. We shouldnt have fears of being dismissed because of it by those whom love us. LiveandLearn : "However, for the most part, heels are pretty femanine, probably because mentally we accosiate heels with women, therefore most styles seem femanine, but if he, or indeed anyone else, such as me, enjoyed "femme" styles of heels, do we have something to stress over? Are we in danger more? Ar we more to blame for you sterotype gone across the board for all male heel wearers?" I dont think any of us have anything to stress over. As Tech said, were not running off to join a Cult. What harm are we doing to anyone else? No harm, no foul.. ' no stress '. Theres a ' stigmatism ' that people are ' worried about '. In the 80's it was the supposed ' Homosexual disease called Aids '. It was in all kinds of magazines and on headlining news all over the globe. Now, people realize HIV and AIDS are NOT diseases that are specific to anyone in general, but ALL human beings or every blood type. People are afraid of the same kind of stigmatism. History of the past shows MEN wore high heels first. Men have worn heels since then but havent been in the spotlight, they faded to the background while women took over. I'm just ' joe average '. I know people of all walks of life and they all ' break balls '. They ALL make comments and snide remarks about one thing or another. Thats all they are, just ' comments ' and they dont have any real meaning behind them endless we as individuals LET it effect us. *I* would think Imroter has a bunch of things to spend his time considering and this is one of the ' lesser ' items to worry about. REPEATEDLY ARGUMENTATIVE, INSULTING AND RUDE. BANNED FOR LIFE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cl0setheels Posted March 12, 2012 Author Share Posted March 12, 2012 I've said this many times before and I'll say it again... WHY is it "Something you need to "chat" about... If you had some nice new jeans, do you feel the need to "find the right time to tell your parents" about them? New trainers/sneakers? A new hat? -- snip -- Out of interest, what boots are they exactly? Can you show us? In a way i know you're right, but apparently i'm not that comfortable with the whole thing yet. My friend that goes shopping with me and lets me wear them at her house says exactly the same thing as you do. She got quite mad when i did go shopping with her and then didn't have the guts to put the heels i bought on at her house. But that changed over time. I also decided not to tell them as long as it doesn't come up again. If it does, i'll probably tell them as it is. And these are the boots it's about, nothing too outrageous : Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cl0setheels Posted March 12, 2012 Author Share Posted March 12, 2012 @ LiveAndLearn They are fairly open minded and once told me the wouldn't mind if i where gay. It was a general comment and not a suspicion i was though. The thing you said about your father, it probably be the same here aswell. He's not good at such stuff and he'd try to be nice about it and make it more awkward with that. And indeed the heels i have are quite feminine, it's the ones i like. I'm not into the more chunky heeled shoes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shafted Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 Wow imroter! It doesn't sound like that difficult a situation after all. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cl0setheels Posted March 12, 2012 Author Share Posted March 12, 2012 I was pretty freaked out when i opened this thread. Had some time to think and came to a decision what i'm going to do. Comments from everyone here helped a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corvus Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 I believe the problem lies with us, not the people around us. If they care and like you, they'll accept you regardless of footwear. For my own part, i just started wearing heels whenever i felt like it, starting with a not-so-obvious pair of wedge boots matching my rather limited confidence then, and took any comments or questions as they arose. Including my mother (my dad unfortunately has cut all contact with any family). The thing i said when asked about why was simply "i like wearing these", and there was no criticism or weird questioning. Taking the courage gained from one successful step to the next is important, unless you're the overconfident type who just goes on his (or her) way without worries whatsoever. But in the end i'm sure you'll feel better after being open to the people around you, including your parents. They do love you and care about you being happy, right? There is notheing better than being able to be who you want without some irrational fear of "being discovered" doing "something strange". Which is all nonsense btw. Nothing strange about guys in heels. Just do things in your own pace, and good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antha Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 I was pretty freaked out when i opened this thread. Had some time to think and came to a decision what i'm going to do. Comments from everyone here helped a lot. I have a feeling that when the subject comes up, your parents are very likely to say 'yeah, we suspected as much' and that will probably be about it. You'll be expecting a long explanation/chat and there won't be one. Your parents have known you for a long time. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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