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How do I tell her?


crowntexas

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So im so addicted to high heels and I love seeing my gf in them. I cant take my eyes off em when shes in them. She always wears them for me when we're alone in the bedroom and around the house. Im so addicted to them I want to tell her that I have some and want to show jer. I just dont know how. Any advive?!

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Cool, Well I'm no psychologist and my attempt to win my missus over failed in such a spectacular way that I don't feel I'm qualified to even give advice, but here's where I think I'd start if I had the option to do it again: Find out how she feels about men in heels in general. Try and keep the conversation light and take what ever she says at face value. If her response is negative (ie, the men should be men speech) then you'll have an idea that she might not be so open to the idea of you getting your own. If her response is positive, then you've laid the ground work to take the next steps. I didn't tell my missus until years and years into our relationship and dropped it on her one evening without leading into the conversation like I was confessing to adultery and she reacted like I had. I don't recommend taking that approach. Hope that helps and I wish you all the best, Chris

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Can you give us a little more info? What's your GF like and is she a fairly open person? How long have you been together? What's your lifestyle like etc, etc? It all helps. Bear in mind the thought of a man in heels and the reality of a man in heels are 2 very different beasts. Also remember that it's not the end of the world that you like shoes. Don't feel embarrassed or guilty. Yes it's one of society's irregularities but it's only footwear. No one died.

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A night out drinking before couldnt hurt the situation either I guess.

It just so happens this is pretty close to how I did it. I waited until a night we were going out for the evening, we were both pretty well lit when we got home, and I knew she had a great time. She was in a playful and promiscous mood, and I just eased her into it. We already knew quite a bit about each other by that time and that we both have some slightly odd interests in life, and she is really open minded about so many things, so that made it a bit easier, too.

But anyway, for your situation, I would wait until she is in that right mood, maybe you both having a little bit of a buzz could certainly help. Then just start into it with a great compliment about loving her in heels; what does she think about a guy wearing heels; you have been thinking a lot lately that you might want to try them out yourself.

At this point, if she scoffs or seems a bit freaked out, explain that you have researched it online and found that there are actually a lot of men getting into this and that there is nothing wrong with you having this feeling, and just continue to build on the conversation from there.

If she starts to resist it too much, it might be a good time to ease off at that point and let it simmer perhaps for a later time, but hopefully she is open minded. Just don't press the matter too hard, take it slow and keep testing the waters as you go. Finally, if she is accepting of a new you, be sure you dont take advantage of that and always try to take her feelings into account first.

Hope that helps, but ya, timing, mood, and the approach all matter on this. Good luck!

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Cool,

Well I'm no psychologist and my attempt to win my missus over failed in such a spectacular way that I don't feel I'm qualified to even give advice, but here's where I think I'd start if I had the option to do it again:

Find out how she feels about men in heels in general. Try and keep the conversation light and take what ever she says at face value. If her response is negative (ie, the men should be men speech) then you'll have an idea that she might not be so open to the idea of you getting your own.

If her response is positive, then you've laid the ground work to take the next steps.

I didn't tell my missus until years and years into our relationship and dropped it on her one evening without leading into the conversation like I was confessing to adultery and she reacted like I had. I don't recommend taking that approach.

Hope that helps and I wish you all the best,

Chris

Given what you have told us so far, this is good advice and what happened to CRabbit was similar to what happened with me and my ex-. Go slowly and above all be honest with her. Don't press her and respond to her feedback. Depending on her responses, you'll need to make your decisions from there as to how to proceed. Good luck.

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You could try what worked with my ex-wife. When we were dating, she knew I liked seeing her in heels. One day I just asked, "So, what's it like to wear them?". She just said "Would you like a pair?". :irked:

That is not how I told my fiancé, but that is a really awesome way to open up the idea to her.
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I told my wife while we were dating . I asked her what she thought about high heels. She said she hated to wear them to long as they tend to hurt. I then told her I had a "thing" for heels. Then I told her if we were to go any further she had to know about my shoe collection. She then wanted to see my collection. When I opened the door to my closet . She said can you walk in them ? She took a pair of 5in pumps out and said let's see you walk in them. I did and she said as long as you can wear them . From that day we have had a lot of fun shopping for heels and she pushes me to wear them in public. That was 15 years ago and she has gained one heck of a shoe and purse collection. Try to be truthful that has always worked for me and I have 15 great year of marriage to back that up. I hope my post will help you. Best of luck ,

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  • 2 weeks later...

i think the easiest and safest way to do this would be the next time you go out and have a few drinks and shes felling good and she has her high heels on just tell her that you love seeimg her in high heels and just tell her that you would like to try wearing high heels one time just to see what its like. this will give you all the info you will need when she gives you her answer. this is basically how i did it with my wife. she said id like to see you try it. not another word was said that night. the next day i was online ordering a pair of 5 inch pumps that i found for like 19.00 at electrique boutique. when they came in my wife says whats in the box and i said i bought some cheap high heels just to see whats its like. i said next time we have a few drinks ill wear them where we can both have a laugh. when the day came and she was feeling good i went up stairs and put a pair of pantyhose and the heels on with a bathrope i had. i got a pretty good response when i came down stairs. she said why are you wearing pantyhose also and i said my feet were sticking in the shoes. she always wears pantyhose. from then things took off to today where things are great in this department. i dress up once in awhile and we have fun with this.

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This thread has turned into a list of success stories and I love it! hhboots, maninpumps & trevor, I'm sincerely glad you found a way to break the ice that not only permitted your high-heel love, but also allowed it to grow and flourish. The most interesting part is that almost every story is different - it just emphasizes that no matter how much information we can share with others on how to (or not to) tell their partner, it still very much depends on the people and personalities involved. I'm really happy for you all and hope you guys have the best of time growing together with your partners in high heels. :) crowntexas, have you managed to tell your partner yet? How did she take it if you did? Chris

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Greetings crowntexas :-)

A lot of great advice here and I like this thread !

Personally I would choose the slower approach (ie don't show her your heels yet)

Now I can't wait to see how it will turn out !

This is keeping me on my toes ! (pun intended...LOL !)

crowntexas, have you managed to tell your partner yet? How did she take it if you did?

Chris

Maybe she did not take it too well and chopped his head.

Explaining why he cannot reply...:)

If he did tell her I really hope she was OK with it.

Life if too short. Why not do what we like while we still can ?

As said many times here in this forum: Heels are only shoes after all !

They look nice and are fun to wear. What more can we ask from a pair of shoes ?

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I started with painting my toe nails....well actually she painted them first. A couple of nights after I had the courage to re-paint them in front of her, I asked her what she thought of me painting my nails. Her response to that wasn't negative so I proceeded to ask her what she would think if I was to wear women's shoes. Be prepared for an avalanche of questions she may have after you tell her. Try to be honest, it will be very hard as the questions she will probably ask you may actually be the same ones you had been asking yourself all your life and still don't yet know the answers to. It took me a long time to tell her about my like of shoes (and inevitably other apparel) even though we had been in a relationship for 10 odd years (give or take...and I am sure a lot of others here are much longer again and still struggling with it all)...don't expect her to accept it fully (or at all) initially. After all, you have had a lot longer to mull over these feelings than she has. Then there is the next problem of public vs. private. I am still going through this with my partner, she isn't comfortable with a public outing yet and I respect her too much to not put her in a situation she isn't comfortable with. And I still haven't worked out how to reveal my other side to friends and family of which i find 10 times more daunting again. I want to be more public about it but need some more courage to just do it. So yeah, I tried something smaller first and tested the waters with that.

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I'd like to say that honesty from the start is the best way to go. It gets it out of the way early, so if there's a potential issue it makes it easier for both parties to move on. Like veryc up there, I not only enjoy heels but "other apparel" too, and told my wife this when I realized she was the one I was going to marry. To this day, she's the only human being who knows about my clothing choices (apart from you lot!) since I never wear anything outside the house. That said, despite answering the avalanche of questions which included things like "Do you want to wear this stuff all the time?" (Nope) "Do you think you'll want to become a woman someday?" (Nope) And of course "Are you gay?" (Nope) She still has a "I know it's a part of you, but I don't want to see it or be a part of it" attitude. Although ironically, she's absolutely fine with me wearing items of women's underwear, and totally surprised me on Valentine's Day by giving me a nightie, she finds the idea of men wearing heels to be flat out "weird". Anyways - my own experiences aside, just be honest with her. No need to hum and haw, no need to beat around the bush, you are who you are and just embrace it. And if she can't embrace it, then maybe it's for the best you find out now as opposed to years down the road.

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I think Id just set her down, have a glass of wine and tell her you like heels on her and you like like to wear them too. She will let you know pretty quick if thats OK with her.

I think barbara's point is definitely worth re-emphasizing... letting her know that she looks beautiful in heels will make her feel great, which is exactly how you feel about wearing heels too. Also if it's not just wearning them but wearing them for her that you'd enjoy, maybe she'd relate to that. And remember that a dishonest "yes" from her will be more trouble than an honest "no". I'm not so keen on the "spring it on her" approach as people can be at their most defensive when they've just been caught by surprise.

If you like it, wear it.

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