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"Fetish" or "obsession"


Beegirl

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Is having a fetish for shoes not the same as an obsession? I do understand that a fetish is a turn on, but it can also be an obsession as the person having the fetish can not have enough of it, then it becomes an opsession. So is there a difference?

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Fetish can be an obsession.

But an obsession doesn't have to be a fetish.

Correct. I have a shoe fetish and if they knew the details, most people would think me obsessed with shoes. I have neighbors who are obsessed with their lawns, but I don't think they have sex thinking about them. Maybe ;-)

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Is having a fetish for shoes not the same as an obsession? I do understand that a fetish is a turn on, but it can also be an obsession as the person having the fetish can not have enough of it, then it becomes an opsession.

So is there a difference?

Nope, not the same, although there are similarities & the two can overlap (like a venn diagram).

Generally, a 'fetish' means there is a sexual-attraction element to the persons interest. If there is no sexual element, it isn't a fetish.

This is why shoe fetishism is a typically male pastime - we get a sexual charge from them! - whereas although women (typically & stereotypically) love shoes, they're not sexually exited by them, hence their interest is just 'obsession'.

Always High-Heel Responsibly

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I like wearing heels. In doors but not that I have to wear them all the time anywhere. I think that is the answer on "fetish' or "obession". Obsessed means one can only eb focussed on one thing. In this case: only high heeled. In my case: I would like to but I know I can't, Common sense or not

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Is having a fetish for shoes not the same as an obsession? I do understand that a fetish is a turn on, but it can also be an obsession as the person having the fetish can not have enough of it, then it becomes an opsession.

So is there a difference?

Before we start splitting hairs here, it should be noted that the term FETISH has a religious connotation; which is probably the reason why the fervent pursuit of a particular object or thing is sometimes refered to as a fetish, as the behavior observed seems to have a religious fervor or obsession to it. Perhaps, as has been suggested, there are degrees to one's obsessive behavior, but IMHO for the most part, we really are talking about the same thing.

I hope that helped, but in my experience, stepping out in a pair of heels is the only way to cure my obsession for heels. Since I don't consider heels as objects of worship, I tend to view them as a form of theraphy and not a fetish. :w00t2:;-)

Keep on stepping,

Guy N. Heels

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Nope, not the same, although there are similarities & the two can overlap (like a venn diagram).

Generally, a 'fetish' means there is a sexual-attraction element to the persons interest. If there is no sexual element, it isn't a fetish.

This is why shoe fetishism is a typically male pastime - we get a sexual charge from them! - whereas although women (typically & stereotypically) love shoes,XX they're not sexually exited by them,XX hence their interest is just 'obsession'.

:w00t2:Speak for yourself i have ordinary high heels but the ones i use for PLAYING in i AM VERY sexually excited by them.........they are USED during sex to manipulate my man or by my man to turn me on a lot.xxx

maybe it's cause im a bit perverted so there's another question for you all.......if youe very sexually turned on and excited by high heels are you indeed a pervert...........? (hope not);-)

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I don't believe a fetish is necessarily associated with something sexual:

  • An object that is believed to have magical or spiritual powers, especially such an object associated with animistic or shamanistic religious practices.
  • An object of unreasonably excessive attention or reverence: made a fetish of punctuality.
  • Something, such as a material object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.
  • An abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment; a fixation.
There's 4 definitions. Only number 3 refers to a sexual angle.

Some people I know have a fetish for cleanliness or a fetish for following their football team (And believe me if you go to all the games and talk about your team 24/7 it IS a fetish).

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:w00t2:Speak for yourself i have ordinary high heels but the ones i use for PLAYING in i AM VERY sexually excited by them.........they are USED during sex to manipulate my man or by my man to turn me on a lot.xxx

maybe it's cause im a bit perverted so there's another question for you all.......if youe very sexually turned on and excited by high heels are you indeed a pervert...........? (hope not);-)

Thank you, NAUGHTY_ME for the candor in describing your feelings for and the use of heels. The word "pervert" has been mis-used for many ideas and activities, but your description doesn't quite qualify for perversion, if both of you are consenting to the interaction as committed adults (married). Perversion should be left to the unnatural acts, such as child predators, rapists, spousal abusers, abductionists, and/or any demeaning, harmful, life altering act of personal natures that are perpetrated upon anothered individual without the proper consent from the targeted person at any time before finality or before no return to their previously enjoyed status is possible.

At this time, society is promoting the idea that women can have intensive obsessions, but not fetishes, because women already have access to the manly styles they need. However, society is promoting the idea that some men develop obsessions for feminine objects, because their minds some how succumbed to the allure or fetish power of those objects. This is how the unenlightened social attitude concerning the natures of mankind have developed. Society can't seem to believe men have feminine desires, just like women have desires for masculine objects. Yes, men and women have physical differences because of the purposes they have to fulfill in the progenitive process, but this doesn't preclude them from having similar feelings and desires.

We have even been bombarded with stereotypes of what society expects men and women to be. For example: The ideas of men and heels verses women and sports cars present the opposite pictures society has used for the natural scene, but we know women are just as capable of fawning over, maintaining, and operating a vehicle, as men are able to want and wear stiletto heels. These social stereotypes are obviously flawed since they do not encompass all the actual personalities of people. Society hasn't taught women the actual nature of what men are all about. Likewise, men are also in the fog about their manliness, because they often feel differently than society has proclaimed what they ought to be like. This uneducated attitude gives way to mis-understandings and relationship failures when most women perceive their male partner wearing high heels. Therefore, most heelers are ill-equiped to deal with life, for they usually haven't openly worn heels to find their social acceptance or their soul mate. Now, such a revelation that goes against the social expectation of what a man should be, becomes viewed as a third partner in a relationship instead of it being part of human nature that men have the desire to wear high heels. Women are threatened by this illusive triangle of commitment from men and think they are in competition for the love of their man's seeming obsessive desire to wear heels. If men wearing heels were to become acceptable practices for activities and appearance, like women heelers enjoy, this stigma of having to compete for a man's love and attention could become shared moments choosing what to wear together. Heeling would become a normal part of getting ready to meet the day's activities, with a side benefit of being more aware of good health and fitness, because wearing heels demands a certain physique be maintained. Activities like dancing and leisure strolls to your favorite goodies parlor could also find an unscheduled inserts to your daily or weekly routine.

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WOW what a responce, thanks you guys are really a big sorce of info, I do hear everything that is said, but in my mind the two is linked to each other:

FETISH: Most of the material on fetishism is in reference to heterosexual men, with most of the objects fetishized being high-femme items such as lingerie, hosiery, and heels.Some fetish fashion items include: stiletto heel shoes and boots (most notably the ballet boot)

OBSESSION: Repetitive behaviors or mental acts that the person feels driven to perform in response to an obsession.the individual must realize that his/her obsessions or compulsions are unreasonable or excessive. Moreover, the obsessions or compulsions must be time-consuming (taking up more than one hour per day)

after reading through some of the explanations on wikepedia, I am thinking that the love of shoes is more a fetish than an obsession. But it can get to be an obsession.

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Hmmm, I think I am not going to enter in "pragmatic" discussions. I try to wear heels everytime I can, including on my lunch breaks as a trucker. As I think about wearing heels all the time, this must be eitehr an obsession or a fetish... or both! I don't really care though! ;-)

"Never below 4" and always spiky"

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Only if it gets in the way of the rest of your life. Only you can answer that, not anyone else.

I know what you mean....

I think somethimes it impacts very negative when I need to do something important and I cannot scape from wearing my heels and playing instead, that has happened many many times,...sounds stupid but is real, I missed meetings, and had other significant loss of time because of this obsesion.

V. Morpho

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