Do Women like Men in heels?

[SleekHeels]

My impression is that women seem quite cool about guys wearing heels if it's some general guy, but don't necessarily like it when it's their partner who wearing them. But that doesn't seem to fit any of the poll options, it's kind of the opposite of the second one.

[pussyinboots]

My impression is that women seem quite cool about guys wearing heels if it's some general guy, but don't necessarily like it when it's their partner who wearing them. But that doesn't seem to fit any of the poll options, it's kind of the opposite of the second one.

Got it in one Sweetie.

Let's be real about this. In general, women DO NOT like men in high heels....and I mean in general. Much of this has to do with social conditioning, stereotype and ideas of conformity and gender roles. High heels are regarded (in the main) as the woman's domain, and on men, are seen as effeminite and imply softness or weakness.

The stereotypical male is testosterone fuelled, hard, tough and macho and deals with life's problems and practicalities. He 'brings home the bacon' whilst the stereotypical woman is there to look after the more domestic side of things - and be the soft, pretty one. The 'hard' man is there to ward off invaders - which includes other males interested in the female.....and so a 'rogue male', being met by a man in high heels, is more likely to collapse in hysterics rather than quake with fear.

Women like to know that their man can look after them, hence in many cases, they will look for a partner taller than them, and very much fitting a stereotypical masculine profile. They seek this look on the outside as well as the inside, as it wards off threats from other males.

In reality, a man in high heels tends to make most women think that he is either a) Weak and Vulnerable or Artistic/Wierd. In the male population, the most common reaction to a man in high heels is that he is Gay...a 'faggot' or a 'tranny'. This is ignorance at it's highest level.

Idealogically, many, many women will claim to be broad-minded on the subject and say that they don't mind men in high heels....it's a free world...and that men wearing high heels often have more guts than men who 'conform'.

The truth however, is different, in that for a very large section of the female population, it's fine for 'other girl's guys' to wear high heels.....but DEFINITELY NOT for mine....!!

There are of course, the enlightened few who really see the world as it should be, and who have no objections to men in heels and who will support them 100%........but sadly they are in the minority, as intelligent, broad-minded and humanitarian thinkers have always been.

[Foxyheels]

Pussinboots you are absolutely spot on, fortunately for me MrsF is one of the enlightened ones. Also I am very 'blokey' and confident so I seem to getaway with more and still get my 'geezer' respect from other men. I now often wear very girlie earrings and bracelets and have only had a few comments from male friends suggesting it's wrong. I was quite surprised how easy it is to change people's opinions as I answer them in a very confident and macho way and it seems to confirm to them I am still a 'proper bloke'. They then instantly accept it as I have confirmed in their mind it's ok and it's just me being me. I do also think it helps as I always chat with women in a very flirty 'carry on film' type manner so I am considered a proper red blooded bloke who craves female company. I also get away with more with the ladies as they'll know I am happily married so they are safe in my company. I certainly don't fit into the 'normal' and I am probably considered quirky. I am not tall as I am only 5'8" but I assume that my confident nature and willingness to lead and take charge helps me. I am also a supervisor and union representative so this also gives me some respect. Age has taught me exactly what has been said, women like confident influential men and accept what they say and do. This allows for more scope in what can be got away with. In fact, if I was single I would make it my aim to attract a female whilst wearing high heels ahead of my male friends wearing traditional attire. :smile:

[roniheels]

Pussyinboots,

You are so correct in all of your observations in your post. I, as others, always hope that society will become so open-minded that the sight of a man in high heels in public will be common place and not something to draw attention (I sound like a broken record, but back in the 70's, men wearing high-heeled footwear was common place). But you are right that based on their upbringing, where they live, etc., there will be those that will never accept a man wearing high heels. Like some others here at the site, I have finally found a woman who doesn't mind me wearing high heels and even goes out with me in public while I'm wearing high heels, and she seldom wears high heels.

Thank you, once again, for your brilliant observations and constructive comments!

[leggy ashley]

Hi, I know that I am more than likely going to catch a lot of grief about this, but in my honest opinion I see absolutely nothing wrong with anyone wearing whatever shoes they want to wear. One of the things that gets me though is that most men accessorize better than some women out there. I mean just because the shoes look good doesn't mean they match every outfit that you have. As long as they go with what you are wearing go for it. The only thing I really need to add is you men don't go getting shoes that are sexier than mine. XOXO, Ashley

[SleekHeels]

I've been thinking about the things PussyInBoots said and how they relate to my heeling. I guess my idea of the stereotypical relationship does accommodate that macho/nurturing polarisation, though it sometimes seems that the monster will protect the woman but who will protect the woman from the monster? The modern independent woman is often portrayed as someone who doesn't want/need protecting, while her success in the modern world can often be defined in male terms with a denial of nurturing qualities in favour of more macho qualities (she can be her own monster). I think that my admiration and wearing of high heels is an expression my feelings that: (a) society should value traditionally feminine qualities and include them in notions of success (i.e. "girl power" is about truly appreciating feminine qualities, not just girls behaving like guys), and ( on a personal level "I'm not a monster" (i.e. guys should be free to express those feminine qualities as a positive element of who they are as a human). Whether I'm just deluding myself that at least some women might find those sentiments appealing, I'm not sure.

[Jabble]

My soon-to-be wife loves when I wear high heels. So far we just have a few pairs (we both wear the same size!) that include a pair of red 6.5 inch stillettos with no platform, black platforms that are 8 inch, black knee-high platform boots with 7.5 inch heel, and a few others. I do not wear any of them out in public. They are for the bedroom only.

[Foxyheels]

Hi,

I know that I am more than likely going to catch a lot of grief about this, but in my honest opinion I see absolutely nothing wrong with anyone wearing whatever shoes they want to wear. One of the things that gets me though is that most men accessorize better than some women out there. I mean just because the shoes look good doesn't mean they match every outfit that you have. As long as they go with what you are wearing go for it. The only thing I really need to add is you men don't go getting shoes that are sexier than mine.

XOXO,

Ashley

You certainly won't get any grief for having a tolerant and open opinion about men wearing heels on this site. It's such a nice change from the usual female reaction to any man expressing his preference to wear heels. As you say we should be able to wear whatever shoes we want to, if only the world was full of wonderful ladies like you and my wife it would be so much nicer.

[Gudulitooo]

I don't read everything but what I read is somehow inspired from stereotypes such as the ones crossdressers face : maybe we can go beyond the drag queen and performers images.

If you ask anybody "what do you think of a man in high heels", people will try to imagine the whole picture based on their own experience (students parties as I read above, maybe an alternative music concert for some, but mainly no exp. at all) and on what they already saw on television (gay pride, TV / CD celebrities apparition in prime time shows, television games where the male conditate is forced to wear heels for the purpose of turning him into ridicule - with his help).

But a real man in heels is new for this period of time that is defined by the memory of our generation.

Now some answers to recent entries :

But why do guys wear heels?

I much liked pussyinboots' answer to the question "why do women wear heels ? - because they can".

So my answer to "why do men wear heels ?" is "because they can" !!

Or maybe "because they abandonned heels, so give it a new try"

Got it in one Sweetie.

Let's be real about this. In general, women DO NOT like men in high heels....and I mean in general.

If you have in mind "men in high heels = drag queen", I agree.

Now what about "men in high heels = John Travolta", or "man in heels = John Wayne" ? or even "man in high heels = [a real guy, dressed as a guy in heels in front of the person]"

See : it strongly depends on the rest of the outfit and the context.

Much of this has to do with social conditioning, stereotype and ideas of conformity and gender roles. High heels are regarded (in the main) as the woman's domain, and on men, are seen as effeminite and imply softness or weakness.

High heels are regarded as a handicaping accessory, both by men and women. Softness : no. Weakness : not really.

The stereotypical male is testosterone fuelled, hard, tough and macho and deals with life's problems and practicalities. He 'brings home the bacon' whilst the stereotypical woman is there to look after the more domestic side of things - and be the soft, pretty one. The 'hard' man is there to ward off invaders - which includes other males interested in the female.....and so a 'rogue male', being met by a man in high heels, is more likely to collapse in hysterics rather than quake with fear.

Different people deploy different strategies in front of adversity. Only the result counts. I am not sure every women want to live with John McClane. A recent winning strategy is : "I merge in the crowd, I am not noticed, I have not seen anything, forget about me".

This is because agressions are more and more violent and unbalanced : what can do a single man, even a clone of Schwarzy, taken between two gangs that decided to have an explanation ? Dead in heels or dead barefoot is still dead.

The truth however, is different, in that for a very large section of the female population, it's fine for 'other girl's guys' to wear high heels.....but DEFINITELY NOT for mine....!!

You are right but the reason is not because the guy would look effeminate. The reason is that the guy would draw attention, at least more attention, to them, and thus expose the couple to more dangers such as "racism"-like behaviour. And there is enough to deal with in life, no need for unnecessary additional trouble.

[Shafted]

Hi,

I know that I am more than likely going to catch a lot of grief about this, but in my honest opinion I see absolutely nothing wrong with anyone wearing whatever shoes they want to wear. One of the things that gets me though is that most men accessorize better than some women out there. I mean just because the shoes look good doesn't mean they match every outfit that you have. As long as they go with what you are wearing go for it. The only thing I really need to add is you men don't go getting shoes that are sexier than mine.

XOXO,

Ashley

Sorry too late, I probably already do. lol!

[BobHH]

Some do, some don't. I recently took a vacation with a young girl friend. During shopping for the trip, she was looking for green nail polish but didn't find the shade she wanted. I was surprised since this girl is sort of a tomboy, dressing usually in jeans and tank tops, and has never used lipstick or nail polish since I have known her. I have traveled with her before. I took my own polish - a fairly dark blue by OPI which I was wearing. I also took a pair of high heel peep toe wedges and my pool sandals which are women's from Payless with a slight wedge (but they are the only ones that stay on). I had decided to expose all this to her, hoping for a favorable reaction, but to do it in any case. I offered her the nail polish and she used it to paint her toes, the first time I have ever seen her do that. The color matched her flip-flops which she wore almost all the time. She did find the shade of green she wanted, but did not use it. She didn't say much about my polish, but was not favorably impressed with the shoes. She made it clear she did not want to be seen with me in my "girly" shoes. Most of my previous girl friends have been very accepting and even encouraging about polish and heels, but not this one. Needless to say, I don't expect to see much of her in the future, as she failed the test. Not that there was any future there anyway, as she is younger than my youngest son, but she is attractive.

[Amanda]

Some do, some don't.

Indeed and "Do women like men in heels?" is a daft question to ask to a community of males who love wearing High heels and would love nothing more than to have women condone such behavior.

I know for a fact that generally we don't.

A man tottering about in stilettos just does not engender the sort of emotions that you chaps would like it to. It's an instinctual thing, primal, not a fashion thing.

That's how things stand at the moment. The king has still got no clothes on.

Good luck to and success in changing that but for now you'll have to swallow it.

And if you don't wish to see a balance of opinion on this matter then you can Always write another string of posts condemning me once I've been suspended. Or perhaps just step on my tail and see what happens.

[pussyinboots]

I don't read everything but what I read is somehow inspired from stereotypes such as the ones crossdressers face : maybe we can go beyond the drag queen and performers images.

Perhaps you should read everything more thoroughly. I have not mentioned drag queens, performers, 'crossdressers face' or any other stereotype anywhere in my post. The context is GENERAL....and was stated as such right at the beginning.

So, I am not going to start picking through your post as you have done with mine. I will simply say that you have applied your own personal opinions and interpretations to my words, which actually did not exist in the original context of my post. Thus, your comments have no real relevance to what I actually said.

The end result, is that you are quite wrong about my observations and it would have been better if you had left my comments out, and simply posted your own views.

Indeed and "Do women like men in heels?" is a daft question to ask to a community of males who love wearing High heels and would love nothing more than to have women condone such behavior.

I know for a fact that generally we don't.

A man tottering about in stilettos just does not engender the sort of emotions that you chaps would like it to. It's an instinctual thing, primal, not a fashion thing.

That's how things stand at the moment.

Agreed.

It actually doesn't matter whether you're a woman who likes/supports or condones men wearing high heels.....or not. The reality is that the vast majority of women do NOT like men wearing high heels....and yes...men in heels DO stimulate thoughts and feelings in girls that you would really not like to know about.

I happen to be a supporter of men wearing high heels - Amanda is not. However, there is one inescapable fact that we both agree on - and that is that the majority of girls don't like men in heels......which is precisely what I said in the first place.

[Amanda]

I happen to be a supporter of men wearing high heels - Amanda is not. However, there is one inescapable fact that we both agree on - and that is that the majority of girls don't like men in heels......which is precisely what I said in the first place.

Thank you but you have me all wrong. I would support anyone in pursuing their passions in the arts.

Men wearing heels will do no one any harm except for themselves. it's not a problem for me, neither do I have a problem with people wanting to express themselves in their choice of clothing.

I don't fancy guys who wear heels..... that's all and wouldn't want to date one.

Partly because I know my feelings would stifle that passion.

[pussyinboots]

Thank you but you have me all wrong. I would support anyone in pursuing their passions in the arts.

Men wearing heels will do no one any harm except for themselves. it's not a problem for me Neither do I have a problem with people wanting to express themselves in their choice of clothing.

Partly because I know my feelings would stifle that passion.

My apologies Amanda. This is really what I was alluding to, so perhaps I should have made it clearer. I fully appreciate that you're a supporter of individual's freedom of expression....that's a given.

[Gudulitooo]

Pussyinboots,

Please note that my introduction about performers had nothing related with your post. I quoted your post to mark what was related to it.

You have applied your own personal opinions and interpretations to my words, which actually did not exist in the original context of my post

What you say is true, but it was not intented. My apologies. I quoted your post mainly to show what made me think what I wrote.

[yozz]

Indeed and "Do women like men in heels?" is a daft question to ask to a community of males who love wearing High heels and would love nothing more than to have women condone such behavior.

This hits the nail square on the head.

Many of the "Do women like......." questions are a form of fishing for compliments.

A large number of the male members are struggling with their "problem" and would

like to hear that everything is OK and society will readily accept them.

Reality is a bit more brutish.

At the same time this "problem" is a very strong urge, almost like an addiction.

It won't go away either. Hence the sometimes a bit excited discussions.

Please have patience with each other.

Y.

[radiodave]

Well said, Yozz. I didn't vote in the poll because it's hard for me to narrow down one choice. I could go with my own personal experience (tolerates it or thinks you've got some loose screws), or go with other experiences and my gut feeling, which is they don't like it. Or I could go with the experiences I know of which is a few women think it's cool. I've conceded that I can't give it up, but I do believe in the words "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind". I've worn stiletto heels to the mall, even garnered a few compliments from both men and women, but I'm pretty sure there were more than a few folks thinking in the back of their heads that it's not cool. Doesn't matter much to me what they think; I'm wearing what I like and I don't expect them to like me for it. On the other hand, you could probably push me over with a feather if a lady came up to me and said "I LOVE your shoes, do you want to go shoe shopping with me sometime?" . Yeah, keep dreaming Dave. There is that slim chance it could happen though... Amanda, I for one respect your thoughts, and I wouldn't try to change your opinion on it. Nor do I think any less because of what you think about it, and appreciate that you share your opinions; maybe it helps bring us back to the reality of what women think about men in heels. I think Yozz is right, we should learn patience with each other.

[Gudulitooo]

Well on a general scale the question is a bit ambitious and maybe this is why there is a few arguments in this thread. In the first place I understood the question the following way : "among you members of hhplace, if you are male, does a woman already told you that she liked men in heels, and if you are a woman that had already seen a guy in heels, did you like it ?" Which I can't answer because no woman already told me anything about men and heels.

[SArmeah]

I have a lot of friends that have seen, supported, and encouraged me in heel wearing. (Jump to the bottom if you want the short answer) Just yesterday I was out and was just in jeans, a t-shirt, and my combat boots and one friend said that I looked "Off". He had become used to me looking differently. He added that he thought that although different, I always looked "classy". Point is, just because someone can be all those things above, doesn't mean they will date you, or that they really like it. But because they are your friend, they can be accepting of YOU. This can be very confusing when anyone is struggling with these emotions. There is a lot of effort in not making this site about crossdressing, but frankly we are touching on that border. Yes its true that at the end of the day they are just shoes, but the same could be said for clothes. With that in mind, the psychology of heel wearing is VERY similar in many ways. The argument only comes down to a matter of degree. If you want validation, you have to start with yourself. Externalizing our emotions and relying on others to validate us, while understandable, is a never ending struggle. I highly recommend a book called "My Husband Betty". While yes it deals with crossdressing and all that pertains, the mentality, acceptance, and everything else is identical to that of simply wearing heels. Short answer : Accept yourself first, its the hardest hurdle. Everything else is gravy.

[roniheels]

Thank you but you have me all wrong. I would support anyone in pursuing their passions in the arts.

Men wearing heels will do no one any harm except for themselves. it's not a problem for me, neither do I have a problem with people wanting to express themselves in their choice of clothing.

I don't fancy guys who wear heels..... that's all and wouldn't want to date one.

Partly because I know my feelings would stifle that passion.

My apologies Amanda. This is really what I was alluding to, so perhaps I should have made it clearer. I fully appreciate that you're a supporter of individual's freedom of expression....that's a given.

Very simply, I personally thank both of you ladies for your comments, opinions, and observations on this particular subject, and others. I encourage you and other women at this site to please continue to chime in of any of these subject because, and I'm sure I'm speaking for many men at this site, we value and enjoy your input.

[pussyinboots]

Pussyinboots,

Please note that my introduction about performers had nothing related with your post. I quoted your post to mark what was related to it.

What you say is true, but it was not intented. My apologies. I quoted your post mainly to show what made me think what I wrote.

Accepted and appreciated Sweetie.

[Foxyheels]

The easy answer to this question is that women do not like men in high heels. Yes this has to do with conditioning but reality is that most women like 'men to be men'. Most of my female friends have told me they would laugh at a man they knew if he wore heels and others have said they would love to see me in heels/drag as it would be such a conflict of reality. I am now deliberately pushing the boundaries with my shoes, earrings and jewellery to try to get a reaction but as yet nothing has been said. I believe it is because I am considered so stereotype manly that I seem to get away with most things. I dont wear stilettos out and about as I am just too heavy and clumsy (I went through a pair of heel tips in a half hour walk) so my street heeling is limited to block heels but my jewellery is very sparkly and my favourite colour is pink. I am convinced I could get most women to accept me in heels as their partner because of the way I am, they would still see me as a 'proper bloke' and when it comes to bedroom stuff they would still get the man they want. Please don't think I believe I can seduce any woman I want, far from it, but I do believe the shoes make no difference to my character and its my character that would win them over not what I wear. Oh and Amanda, never say never, there might be a man out there that could fit the bill even with shoes as sexy as yours.

[Maninheels]

I am now deliberately pushing the boundaries with my shoes, earrings and jewellery to try to get a reaction but as yet nothing has been said.

I push the boundries as well. I wear flipflops with polished toes a lot in the summer, block style heels in the cooler months, and I have both my ears pierced twice. I look far to much like a man to be mistaken even if there were hours of prep work to try and get me to look more fem I am sure... Fact is though if you are happy with who you are then you will find someone that accepts who you are. I know foxyheels is married as I am I and from what I can tell his wife is just as accepting as mine. There will never be 100% acceptance of ANYTHING that we do even for things that are stereotypically associated with our gender.

[kneehighs]

Indeed and "Do women like men in heels?" is a daft question to ask to a community of males who love wearing High heels and would love nothing more than to have women condone such behavior....

Just curious, have you ever met a man in heels in Real Life? I don't mean crossdresser like Dr. Shoe/Tara -- someone with alter ego names. I don't mean a pre-op transexual, nor even post-op transexual. Not even at an alternative lifestyle fetish club.

I mean a man presenting as a man while wearing heels.

[Steve63130]

While I agree with Amanda and Pussy-in-Boots that most women want their men to look like men, I think guys can look attractive in heels IF their choice of shoes compliments the rest of their outfits. Kneehighs, JeffB, Shafted, and Thighbootguy, for examples, are thin and so stiletto heels on them don't look at all out of place. I'm a bit stockier, more weight around the middle than I should have, and only 5'9". I think I look silly in stilettos. However, in block heeled loafers or slingbacks, in cuban heeled boots, or in tapered heel booties or clogs/mules, with bootcut slacks or jeans, I think I present a look that most women would be comfortable with. The only one that matters is my wife, and she's ok with my choices. If I were to wear evening pumps or strappy sandals, she'd shoo (pun intended) me off the planet! LOL In conclusion, I think it's a lot more important to coordinate the shoes with the whole outfit and it should compliment the build of the wearer. This applies to women as well as men. Steve,

[leggy ashley]

[quote=Steve63130;27744

In conclusion, I think it's a lot more important to coordinate the shoes with the whole outfit and it should compliment the build of the wearer. This applies to women as well as men.

Steve,

[Amanda]

Just curious, have you ever met a man in heels in Real Life? I don't mean crossdresser like Dr. Shoe/Tara -- someone with alter ego names. I don't mean a pre-op transexual, nor even post-op transexual. Not even at an alternative lifestyle fetish club.

I mean a man presenting as a man while wearing heels.

As a matter of fact Kneehighs, I haven't.

[Foxyheels]

As a matter of fact Kneehighs, I haven't.

Perhaps you could go to a heel meet one day and find out if your theory is correct?

Surely there has to be some single male heel wearer out there prepared to pick up the gauntlet?

[Amanda]

Perhaps you could go to a heel meet one day and find out if your theory is correct?

Surely there has to be some single male heel wearer out there prepared to pick up the gauntlet?

Hah, a stiletto wearing guy might risk being pegged by me as they bend to reach it.