Dr. Shoe Posted March 26, 2004 Share Posted March 26, 2004 . The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. ...And stupidity has no bounds! Whenever things are foolproof, the clever man will always break it! Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 15 Top Song Titles from the Country/Western Scene: #15. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You #14. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me #13. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? #12. I Liked You Better Before I Got To Know You So Well #11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better #10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win #9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight #8. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like Having You Here #7. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To I'd Be Out Of Prison By Now #6. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him #5. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger #4. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly #3. Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure #2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer And, the number 1 favorite country song of 2004 is: #1. I Haven't Gone To Bed with Any Ugly Women, But I've Sure As Hell Woke Up With A Few Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anita C. Posted April 14, 2004 Share Posted April 14, 2004 "A million here, a million there. Pretty soon you're talking some real serious money!" Senator Everett Dirksen 1963 Ciao, Anita C. "Spike Heels . . a Pork-pie hat . . Have on the mend in no time flat . . Ten Minutes 'Till The Savages Come by Manhatten Transfer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NikkiHH Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 Got told this by a teacher some years ago: If it moves, steal it. If it doesn't, break it. Then Steal it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xaphod Posted April 20, 2004 Author Share Posted April 20, 2004 Hi Nikki, I guess your teacher was being sarcastic, or have teachers got politically correct anarchy nowadays ? here's another. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An expert is someone who knows some of the worst mistakes that can be made in his subject and who manages to avoid them. Werner Heisenberg and one from me, bearing in mind that the boating urge is great upon me Experienced yachties and novices make exactly the same number of mistakes, but I try to make mine out of sight of the yacht club. Xa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 An old military saying: If it moves, salute it. If it doesn't move, pick it up. If you can't pick it up, paint it. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shoe Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 That reminds me of what my HGV driving instructor once said: A superior driver is one that uses his superior judgement to avoid situations that require his superior skill. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shoe Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 An old military saying: If it moves, salute it. If it doesn't move, pick it up. If you can't pick it up, paint it. One of my colleagues from he RAF was once painting a hangar door when the CO came by and accidently got painted by the over-zealous airman. When the CO then moved, he saluted with the paintbrush still in his hand. The CO said afterwards it was almost worth getting painted just to see the lad's face! Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NikkiHH Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Xaphod - I don't think my old teacher was being an anarchist, he was just bemoaning the "youf" of today (he did that a lot). And that every time he put out some lined paper, people would take it and write on it. Odd that; being a classroom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azraelle Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 An expert is someone who knows some of the worst mistakes that can be made in his subject and who manages to avoid them. Werner Heisenberg Apparently, Heisenberg didn't consider himself an expert, then. If memory serves me correctly, when the captured German Nuclear Scientists, of whom Heisenberg was their leader, found out that the USA had set off a successful atom bomb (and therefore had obviuosly been able to construct one) they refused to believe it for nearly 3 months, especially when they found out what it was made from (U-235, as opposed to U-238). They had been trying, unsuccessfully, for 5 years to make U-238 fission. Heisenberg's calculations, primarily done with a "slipstick" (sliderule), showed that the amount of U-235 need to fission was 100 times greater than was actually required, and therefore separating enough of the isotope out was deemed impossible. It seems that, early on, he had "misplaced" 2 decimal points. Since no one on his team ever questioned "the great Heisenberg" or his calculations, the Germans never were able to build a successful reactor. The designs they came up with were later shown to not be able to start, much less maintain a fission reaction--even if the Allies had not been able to bomb the crap out of them. "All that you can decide, is what to do with the time that is given you."--Gandalf, "Life is not tried, it is merely survived -If you're standing outside the fire."--Garth Brooks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xaphod Posted April 22, 2004 Author Share Posted April 22, 2004 Xaphod - I don't think my old teacher was being an anarchist, he was just bemoaning the "youf" of today (he did that a lot). And that every time he put out some lined paper, people would take it and write on it. Odd that; being a classroom. Professionals can be surprisingly dim sometimes. I remember my old landlord who had a new house in the town where I first started work after Uni. I used to maintain that you could do open heart surgery on his kitchen floor, it being so clean. Dammit man, if you cook in a kitchen, you are going to make some mess. The floor will get cleaned when we do the blitz at the weekend. He really hit the roof one evening when the other lodger and I nipped out for a beer 10 minutes before closing time, leaving a load of washing up in the sink. Unfortunately he returned while we were out and had worked himself up into a right old state by the time we got back, nicely mellow. The bowler hat fully descended on his head (what do you expect from an uptight lawyer) when he came out with the line.... It is your first duty to do the washing up before you go out and enjoy yourselves Xa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xaphod Posted April 22, 2004 Author Share Posted April 22, 2004 Apparently, Heisenberg didn't consider himself an expert, then. If memory serves me correctly, when the captured German Nuclear Scientists, of whom Heisenberg was their leader, found out that the USA had set off a successful atom bomb (and therefore had obviuosly been able to construct one) they refused to believe it for nearly 3 months, especially when they found out what it was made from (U-235, as opposed to U-238). They had been trying, unsuccessfully, for 5 years to make U-238 fission. Heisenberg's calculations, primarily done with a "slipstick" (sliderule), showed that the amount of U-235 need to fission was 100 times greater than was actually required, and therefore separating enough of the isotope out was deemed impossible. It seems that, early on, he had "misplaced" 2 decimal points. Since no one on his team ever questioned "the great Heisenberg" or his calculations, the Germans never were able to build a successful reactor. The designs they came up with were later shown to not be able to start, much less maintain a fission reaction--even if the Allies had not been able to bomb the crap out of them. Professionals can be surprisingly dim at times. Heisenberg wrongly thought the criterion for a self-sustaining fission reaction was that the critical mass had to be of sufficient size to capture all 3 (or so) neutrons from a fission event. Actually, providing one fission event has a probability of initiating slightly more than one fission event, the number of events will grow exponentially, admitedly at a slower rate than if all the neutrons were captured. The mass of material to satisfy the Heisenberg criterion of capturing all the neutrons must, of necessity, be much greater than the correct 'just enough' criterion. It is very easy to labour erroneously when one has not established the correct fundamental premises of the problem. For example I confused the hell out of my maths teacher (a Cambridge grad) when she tried to sort out one of my mathematical disasters. Eventually when she saw that I put tan(x) = cos(x) / sin(x) at the top of the work did she insinuate that I was a stupid plonker. Xa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heelfan Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 My Goodness Xa! If this thread is dedicated to things "On The Lighter Side of Life", I'd hate to try and imagine what comprises the "Heavier Side of Life" in your scheme of things! Cheerfully Yours, Heelfan Onwards and upwards! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NikkiHH Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Just remembered this - thinking along teaching lines, I almost told this to a class that I was teaching a couple of years ago: "there are no stupid questions, there are only stupid people" Stopped myself just in time. Wish I hadn't really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shoe Posted April 23, 2004 Share Posted April 23, 2004 tan(x) = cos(x) / sin(x) How's this: 0/0 Is the answer 1, infinity or zero? Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffM Posted April 24, 2004 Share Posted April 24, 2004 Dr Shoe A man of your learing I thought would know this. Any number multilied by 0 is 0 ie let X be any number then by definition X x 0 = 0 transforming for X we then get X = 0/0 or 0/0 = X, where X is any number so instead of you asking Is the answer 1, infinity or zero? You should have been stating that The answer IS 1, infinity or zero Or any number in between. Quite simple really when you think about it, dont you think? Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffM Posted April 24, 2004 Share Posted April 24, 2004 For Xaphod Tan x = cos x/ sin x Sin = opposite/hypotenuse Cos = adjacent /hypotenuse Tan = opposite/adjacent If true Then the formula becomes opposite/adjacent = adjacent/hypotenuse divided by opposite/hypotenuse Invert and multiply Opposite/adjacent = adjacent/hypotenuse x hypotenuse/opposite Opposite/adjacent = adjacent/opposite where the hypotenuse cancel out. Opposite/adjacent = adjacent/opposite The formula is not true so tan x =/= cos x/sin x Pretty obvious really isn’t it? Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shoe Posted April 24, 2004 Share Posted April 24, 2004 Dr Shoe A man of your learing I thought would know this. Any number multilied by 0 is 0 ie let X be any number then by definition X x 0 = 0 transforming for X we then get X = 0/0 or 0/0 = X, where X is any number so instead of you asking Is the answer 1, infinity or zero? You should have been stating that The answer IS 1, infinity or zero Or any number in between. Quite simple really when you think about it, dont you think? Jeff Actually, it is even more simple than that. Any number divided by itself is 1. Any number divided by 0 is infinite 0 divided by any number is 0. According to Euclid (I think), you can only have one correct answer to a mathematical problem, so the question is, which law do we apply? It's another chicken and egg conundrum. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffM Posted April 24, 2004 Share Posted April 24, 2004 If we accept that there is only one correct answer then 0/0 = any number between 0 and infinity. The problem then is that 3 different rules apply in this case so the rules them selves must be wrong, or at least 2 of them are. So which ones are wrong. Whoops, same question different words. Oh well Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-Nation Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 and this is the lighter side of life?!!! Emma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NikkiHH Posted April 25, 2004 Share Posted April 25, 2004 I'm bored. What shall I do? Ah yes - trigonometry, thats a laugh a minute. Happy faces on all the mathematicians with their leather elbow patches on their jackets!! (I know - a bit of a generalisation - but to all the UK guys who have frequented Southside bar - play spot the elbow patch! Makes a good drinking game.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xaphod Posted April 27, 2004 Author Share Posted April 27, 2004 Wow, I thought that high-school maths would be regarded as a trivial aside. Actually, all the problem is that way back when, I got the equation upside down, that's all. Funnily enough, I havn't made that mistake again, especially after Auntie Babs (maths mistress, 23, blonde, infinite legs, mini-skirt era) made a pubescent boy feel like a fool. HF ..... I don't call that heavy .... if you don't like just a tiny bit of maths, please feel free to ignore it. It won't matter too much if you do. Xa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azraelle Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 I picked up this link from a low-carbing singles forum. It needs to be viewed within the next 24 hours though--the guy has gotten something like 900,000 hits on his ebay auction. It had the geeks in the computer lab ROFLTAO, and it is appropriate for this site too, in an off-beat kind of way. Take a look and see what you think: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=4146756343 HINT: You need to read ALL of his comments and updates! | "All that you can decide, is what to do with the time that is given you."--Gandalf, "Life is not tried, it is merely survived -If you're standing outside the fire."--Garth Brooks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xaphod Posted April 28, 2004 Author Share Posted April 28, 2004 Nice one, Az, Thanks for putting the thread back on track. Certainly a break from too much math. Xa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 $30,100 ????? wonder if he will ever collect it? Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shoe Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Let's hope so, he deserves it! I haven't laughed so much for years!!! Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azraelle Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 I turned up a link to this gem of a product on a site listing the projects of some fledgling freelance web designers. Oh the possibilities... http://www.rentacop.tv/index.php "All that you can decide, is what to do with the time that is given you."--Gandalf, "Life is not tried, it is merely survived -If you're standing outside the fire."--Garth Brooks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xaphod Posted May 1, 2004 Author Share Posted May 1, 2004 A high-street bank tried and failed to give away money. Staff placed a sign in the window of Barclays branch in Croydon, Surrey, inviting passers-by to step inside and collect a free £5 note (7.4 USD). But no-one took up the offer because, it is thought, no-one believed the offer was genuine. The experiment was designed to help Barclays understand 'what engages customers as they walk past our branches'. Xa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xaphod Posted June 18, 2004 Author Share Posted June 18, 2004 . At least 20 cyclists reported they had been injured by an aggressive buzzard, which attacked them on a Devon country road, the A3072 at Brandis Corner, near Holsworthy. The buzzard became too confident, met its match taking on a car, and died. Xa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PJ Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 "A million here, a million there. Pretty soon you're talking some real serious money!" Senator Everett Dirksen 1963 Ciao, Anita C. After he passed away, they found closets in his home stuffed with cash and uncashed checks. http://www.informedvolusian.com/2003/Issue_7/political_corner_7.htm click .... click .... click .... The sensual sound of stiletto heels on a hard surface. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts