sscotty727

if you're into shoes

Isn't that pretty much a prerequisite for being a member here?

This is incredible and I'm contributting to it...

This thread started just a few days ago and has now 4 pages of posts.

I don't know if the people taked the cause of our friend le752 or if every man here in the board wants a girl/wife that thinks like her, but this thread is amazingly a record. Maybe I'm wrong...

Well, she came to the board with a question and asked for some advice. Alot of us gave our opinions (although not all agree with each other, but that is what you normally get, various opinions).

Is that a problem? Would you rather of us just ignored her and not tried to help her out? Isn't that the purpose of the board or did I miss something?

I know for a fact that he has made two women's shoe orders this month, so unless he is just building a collection or has developed an artistic side and is creating a shoe sculpture, my guess is he is wearing them around the house.

As I said before, unless he tells you he is wearing them or you find them in his closest, the web cache could be anything. He could also have bought them for a friend/co-worker who is relunctant to use their credit card (my sister-in-law doesn't like to use her credit cards on the net so alot of times I buy what she wants and she pays me back) or he could have gotten them as a gift for someone.

I think you planted the seeds, if he is into them he will probably say something. For now I think it is better you back off for a while or else he might start to think you are trying to push him into something he is either not into or doesn't want to discuss (yet).

SatisfactioN

Chris, My recommendation would be to start off with something less feminine and more maculine like block heels. If she seems ok with that, you can slowly start revealing more feminine heels. If she freaks out over the block heels (which I highly doubt) you can just either say you were curious or they help your back or play it off somehow like that. Again, good luck! Scotty

I have to agree. This sounds more like a fetish than a fashion thing, but if it is your thing and your wife is ok with it, more power to you. Just not my thing. To be honest, I am really not into seeing men wearing heels, but as I like to wear them myself, I support men's rights in wearing them. For asthetics, women look far better in heels to me.

Chris, Your going to have to judge for yourself since you know her best. However if it helps, I've known my wife (and therefore sister-in-law) for 20 years now. Since my sister-in-law is single and very close to my wife (she stays with us alot of weekends), she is very much like a sister to me too (she, like my wife isn't technology savy, so I handle all her computer stuff as well). Anyway, I told her a while ago and she is even more ok with it than my wife. Matter of fact, I always show her all the heels I get (sometimes before I even get them to ask her opinion) and have even helped her look for and buy heels online as well. Of course I have only ever shown her block heels and wedges so not sure how she would handle stilleto heels. But as far as the block/wedge heels goes, she agrees that men should be able to wear them and sees absolutely nothing wrong with them. I've even shown her some of the inserts I've done for my shoes and made her a few as well. Hope that helps. Good luck, Scotty

sandal (I will request we try not to pluralize words when possible to keep us out of the S's).

Hi All. I've always seen the word association/disassocation threads but avoided them because it felt like too cheap and easy a way to gain posting points. I was thinking, it might be fun to add a little bit of a challange to it so you will actually have to earn the posting point! How about the next word not only has to be associated, but: 1) Start with the last letter of the previous word 2) Not been used before (within reason, I know if the thread grows to hundreds of pages it will be impossible to enforce, but we could try to make sure it wasn't used recently). I will start off an appropriate enough word stiletto (the next word will have to be associated AND begin with an O)

Hi, I am not a medical profession and not sure if it will help, but I had a co-worker who had some knee problems and he does exercises in a swimming pool. Not sure if that would also help you in you rebuilding process or not? Best of luck and let us know how it goes! Scotty

BTW, here are the ones I have in my shoes now

http://www.americarx.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=43228

Let me know if they work for you! Good luck!

That might be the case if they are tight. Are you wearing nylons with them? I've found my shoes fit much loser when I wear nylons vs barefoot. Also, the ball-of-foot pads not only help the fit but also cusion the ball of your foot as well.

ILuvHeels, First of all, great shoes! Not sure if this will work for you or not, but go to the local drug store and see if you can buy some Dr Scholls "Ball of Foot" pads. I just put some in mine that were a much lower heel and it feels great! Scotty

LE, As I said before, only you know him and the situation best, so only you can judge the best way to handle things. I hope it all goes well and your able to work it all out. The best thing is your open minded and positive, so that will go a LONG way. Scotty

Lorilegs, That is why I suggested she try to confirm first if he IS into heels:) I still think a great way, if she doesn't want to point blank ask him, is to just make a comment about her feet hurting and then say something like "guys always seems to like see women in heels but I bet they wouldn't last an hour in a pair" and see if he jumps at the chance to wear them:) It could be fun, break the ice and give her the confirmation she needs. If he takes her up on the bet, great. If he backs away and says "no thanks" well, there you go. This way she isn't trying to push him into revealing anything but gives him an easy opening to take her up on it. Scotty

For me Mrs.F coming home with a pair of 3" boots showed me that she accepted me. This was after a few shock horror moments. The first was when I asked to try on a pair of her silk trousers. Nothing was said until we were shopping in H&M and she picked out a pair of trousers and said "How about these for you?"

I'm not daft, I know she's not wildly keen on street heeling, stilettos and any form of exposed heel out with her is a no no, and that's nothing to do with not liking me in heels. But I know she loves and accepts me for who I am - quirks and all.

Again, this was AFTER the subject was broached, not you coming home one day and being blind sided with her standing there with a pair of heels and you not knowing she knew, right?

My point AGAIN is, LE asked how she could broach the topic with her BF and find out IF he is infact into heels. Bear in mind, up to this point it is a theory, not a fact. IF he had told her and she freaked and then was asking how she could show her support and all, then your suggestion of buying him heels would be 100% valid.

Right now she has no confirmation he does infact like to wear heels other than some links in a cache on a computer. That can be anything. I was offering her advice on how she can find out the answer to that question, directly or not on how to even determine if her hunch is correct. She can be blunt and just ask, or she can find out indirectly by bringing up the topic in other ways.

If it turns out her hunch is correct, then the next step of her buying him heels (if she wants to that is) would be fine. But in my opinion, jumping the gun and buying him heels before she even knows could do 1 of 3 things.

1) It turns out he is into heels and everything is fine as you all suggested.

2) It turns out he is into heels and takes the gift to mean she WANTS him in heels

3) It turns out her hunch was wrong and now he thinks she is strange

I think until she finds out one way or the other and the two have a chance to talk openly about it etc, her just showing up with heels is not a good idea.

Again, this is only my opinion, and as you said, LE will do whatever she thinks is appropriate, afterall, only she knows him and the circumstances better than any of us, but I think based on what she has said so far and what her actual question was, talk is the best option at this point.

Scotty

Scotty - I have to disagree with you. I would love for my wife to come home and surprise me with some heels. It does not have to mean that she wants to see me in heels, but that she is accepting of my desire to wear them and as such will even buy them for me. I still think my wife does not fully accept me wearing heels, and if she were to actually buy me some and surprise, that would make me conclude that she finally accepts me in heels. I would never assume it was her fantasy to see me in them unless she told me so.

Lorilegs,

My point is that ONCE everything is in the open, etc, then sure, buying heels would be fine. However, if say I thought my wife didn't know I like to wear heels and one day I came home and she surprised me with a pair of heels, I would think she was into me wearing heels and wanted me to wear heels. This doesn't sound like the case in this instance. It sounds more like she suspects he likes heels and needs to find out if infact that is the case and then let him know she is OK with it. Now if the title of the thread was "how can I get my BF to wear heels", then sure, buying heels would be fine. However, that is not what she has been saying all along.

I think most of us have been trying to push our fantasy onto her of having the wife/gf come home with a pair of heels instead of reading her actual question and offering advice based on HER situation.

Scotty

LE, I am probably going to upset some people here, but unless it is your fantasy to see him in heels, I wouldn't go about buying him heels. If your intent is to see if he does enjoy them and let him know you can accept it, I think the best approach is to just talk about it with him. If you buy him heels, you are sending him the message you WANT him in heels. If that is what you want, by all means go buy him a pair, but if that isn't the message you want to send, I would advise against that route. As far as bringing up the topic, if your uncomfortable telling him you noticed things in his cache (and I can understand your feelings of worrying that you might have violated his trust and make him suspect you are spying on him), then there are other ways. For example, you could say you were shoe shopping the other day and this guy came in and was trying on women's shoes. While you thought it a little odd at first, you didn't think it was anything major and the guy infact didn't look bad in them. Or you could mention any of the many male performers out there that wear heels. Just mention them and say "would you ever consider wearing them?". Or even, some day have him rub your feet (and trust me, if he is anything like most guys in here, that will be a treat for him as well as you!), just say "you don't know what it is like wearing heels all day. I bet you couldn't last an hour in them" and then offer to let him wear yours as the bet. Etc. Anyway, I think you need to just bring it up in conversation and gage his reaction. From there you can talk more openly about it. Once things are out in the open, then if you want to buy him certain boots or heels, that would be fine. But I would wait until you get this out in the open first. Scotty

Maybe if you can have them dyed or darkened. Otherwise, I would leave them be. I guess if wench is the term she likes, then use it. I would keep it to use calling her that when you are with her though, using it in your posts makes it sound like your being deagatory towards her.

I like the feel of trouser socks. They still have the sleek feeling of stockings without being over burdensome. My favorites are the ones that come up to your knee and stay there all day.

I can't speak for all guys, but.... Go try on a pair of men's shoes, then try on a pair of heels. They just feel better, fit better. Men's shoes tend to be too big (even in your size) and feel about the same as wearing the boxes they come in on your feet. Women's shoes feel more fitting and nicer. I also love the feeling of wearing with your foot in an arch.

le752,

Try the "guess what I saw today while shopping" line to broach the subject.

Good luck,

Scotty

PS: Having a wife that also has fears, it sounds like your fears are more about him becoming too female etc. Read my thread here for the reverse discussion on the topic.

inbetween scotty's posts, le wrote

le752

Comfy Loafer

Comfy Loafer

Joined: 13 Mar 2006

Posts: 14

Post Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 7:30 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

Can you guys tell me some of the reasons why you like to wear heels?

He's 6'1" and seems to be into wedge/platform/slip-on type things rather than stillettos. Maybe that's just easier to fit into. (Of course, until I see his collection I won't know that for sure).

Maybe I can see if he's into Eddie Izzard...

Dawn, I agree with you. And you beat me to the "wench" comment. Unless this was a renaissance festival, the term isn't very nice. Scotty

I wouldn't exactly tell him you have a fantasy of seeing men in heels if you don't. This could open the door of him wearing heels more than your comfortable with (he would feel like he was fulfilling your desires, etc). You might want to just bring up in casual conversation that you saw a man wearing heels today and you didn't think it looked too bad. You could then just ask if he would ever consider wearng heels like that and when he says yes, tell him ok, let's do it. From there you can have open conversations and maybe even nice shopping excursions.