sscotty727

What I mean by acceptance is that it is no big deal for a woman to wear jeans, it is no big deal for a man to wear ear rings. I just wish, even if it was considered a little on the edge, that it would be an everyday sight.

I know that there are and will be people that are stuffy and don't like anything but the stereo-typical roles for male and female. I just wish that it was 'more' accepted.

The two you stated above are common sights because lots of women wear jeans and lots of men NOW wear earrings. Years ago it was very uncommon to see a guy wear an earring, so they got just as many odd looks as men wearing heels now.

Unfortunately, having more guys wear heels isn't something you can force or push. Guys will or will not wear them based on how comfortable they feel in them. Until alot of guys do wear them on a regular basis, you, me, and the rest are going to be "on the edge".

All I am saying is for you, me, and the rest, just wear them as if they were a normal part of your outfit and over time people (atleast ones who see you on a regular basis) will find it less and less odd ON YOU.

What I meant by acceptance is that nobody wants to be looked at as strange.

Sorry, but you will ALWAYS have someone look at you as being strange, perverted, gay, whatever. As I said above, there are people still look at men wearing earrings as gay. There are people that still look at women in jeans and loafters as dykes. Predjice is an ugly part of humanity you have to just live with. You can't please everyone.

You can be happy with yourself though. The more you are happy and accept yourself, the more confident you are and the less you worry about what others think.

Let me tell you a little story. Back when I went to college (and it was in western PA where tolerance of others isn't a big thing) there was this guy from Chilie. His name was Roul and he seemed to be on the life time college plan, he was there before me and was still there after I left. This guy would dress about the same year round. Button down shirt open half way down his chest and he wore clogs. I am not talking male clogs (which didn't exist back then) I am talking female wooden clogs. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE laughed at him and made jokes about him. When they would talk to him it was in a sarcastic way to make him think they were being nice but laughing at him behind his back.

During the time I was there I too thought he was very strange and just kept my distance from him. Looking back, I can see he was a happy go lucky person who didn't care who thought what and kept his style to what he liked and didn't care if anyone else liked it or not. I never saw him without a smile on his face or a positive attitude.

Anyway, my point is, if your waiting for the world to embrace you wearing heels your in for a long wait. However, just wear them and wear them confidently and over time people will just accept the fact you wear heels and come to expect that is how you will dress. Sure, along the way you will have the a-holes and jerks. Ignore them. I've found out that those are the people who are actually less secure and have to gain confidence in themselves by putting down others. The less you show your bothered by it the less power they have and the more the end up looking like the jerk they are.

Of course, Scotty, i would never try to say anything bad about Asian women. I've had some wonderful Asian girlfriends myself. I'm just very rash sometimes when it comes to defend "my girl"

No offense taken. As they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I also would be disappointed if you didn't think your GF wasn't the most beautiful and werent' bias towards her. You should be and should feel that way.

As far as why others would see her as Asian, without her full face visable (or even if it were) I think people see certain cues that remind them of something/someone else.

Take me for example. In that pose she reminded me of my wife when I first met her. Same hair style, etc. In my mind I immediately thought of her. Another time, I was walking through the mall and had this hispanic guy come up to me and ask if I were hispanic. I look nothing like someone hispanic. I am German/Irish. As far as I know I have no hispanic traits in me. Obviously I reminded him of someone else. There must have been a visual que there somewhere.

Another time I went to an Italian resturant with a friend and his gf. HE swore these guys were Italian, afterall he would know. It was his gf that pointed out they were Greek. She asked the guys and confirmed it (to his red face). But obviously something in him reminded him of someone else and triggered him to see them as Italian.

One last example. My wife and I can see the same person and name two different actors (or actresses) that we think they look like. We pick total opposites and think the other is crazy. But again, I might be focusing in how how the hair is styled, she might be focusing on the eyes, someone else might focus on the manurisims or how they talk, etc. My point is, we are taking a visual (or audio) que and applying it to something else familiar in our backgrounds. I think this happens on a subconscience level.

Just something to think about.

Scotty

It all depends on how you define "acceptance". If your expecting people to come over and make a fuss or congratulate you on wearing heels, you might as well hold your breath until you pass out. It probably never will happen. If your talking about "tolerance" of being able to wear your heels out without fear of being arrested or retailiation, then just wear them (and stay away from unsafe areas). I think we are all making too much of trying to push a "cause". There is no cause. You didn't see a "cause" when men wanted to wear earrings, they just got them and wore them. In the beginning the first few got labelled as freaks but then over time as more and more people just wore them, they became common place. I even see guys at work wearing ear rings (I will never get one, just my preference, but more power to those that do). You didn't see guys marching anywhere, having "earring meets" or such. You didn't see articles written trying to push an earring wearing agenda. You just saw guys getting them that liked them. The first few were labelled queer or strange, but they just wore them. There are still people that have negative reactions to men in earrings just as I am sure there are still guys out there that are negative about women wearing jeans. Heck, over 50 years after WWII we have people idolizing Hitler. There will ALWAYS be hate and negativilty in this world over EVERYTHING. So my reply is the only "acceptance" you need is yourself. Just do it. Stop pushing an agenda. Stop trying to push for acceptance of men in the general public. "Acceptance" will come by people just wearing them over time. Just my 2 cents worth. Scotty

DR,

I posted something similiar in the Tips/Tricks thread.

http://www.hhplace.org/hhboard/viewtopic.php?t=6200&highlight=

hart88, Please check your IM. I sent you a message a while ago.

My wife is Filipino. She was born in the US, but her parents were born and raised in the Philippines.

I realize that, but it was Yahoo that linked it to the article (guess they needed something showing feet and legs).

http://news.yahoo.com/i/583

Ok, here is now the picture they are showing with the story (don't think the picture is of the people involved though).

Dawn,

Mine is a micro italian link anklet. What I like best is it is durable to be worn 24x7 and thick enough to not look too femine. Micky can add charms and links to hers to make it more "feminine" and you could simply leave it as either the gold/silver/or mixed (mine is mixed). They stretch instead of link so they are also very easy to get on/off as well. I've also worn it inside boots with NO problems what so ever.

I got mine off ebay. Here is an example (this isn't the seller I got mine from, but it is exactly the same anklet)

http://cgi.ebay.com/5-5mm-MICRO-ankle-STARTER-35-links-Italian-charm_W0QQitemZ5016987710QQcategoryZ43060QQssPageNameZWD1VQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

And you can see there are alot of charms, accessories you can get to add on as well.

http://search.ebay.com/search/search.dll?from=R40&satitle=micro+italian+link

Scotty

Just saw this in yahoo news...

In this photo provided by XBOX, Jenny McCarthy reacts as she games with fans worldwide as part of the latest XBOX Live 'Game With Fame' session at the E3 convention in Los Angeles, Wednesday, May 10, 2006. McCarthy is the first of several celebrities playing XBOX Live during the three-day Electronic Entertainment Expo. (AP Photo/XBOX, Rene Macura)

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060511/od_nm/crime_fetish_dc_1

Man admits foot-fetish assaults on subway

By Jeanne King

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A 23-year-old with a foot fetish has admitted he tried to kiss, fondle and lick the legs and toes of more than 70 women on the New York subway over the last three years, prosecutors said on Wednesday.

In a handwritten confession to police released by the Manhattan district attorney's office, Joseph Weir said his aim was "to make them laugh and smile and open to talk to me."

Weir, who was arrested late last week after attacking a woman on a subway in lower Manhattan, is charged with forcible touching, sex abuse and unlawful imprisonment -- the latter charge referring to his habit of grabbing his victims' legs and not letting go.

He faces up to a year in jail if convicted and has been released on $6,000 bail until a court hearing on June 26.

In a rambling confession peppered with grammatical errors, Weir, who lives in Brooklyn, detailed how he accosted the women while riding the subways between Manhattan and the borough of Queens.

"I get on my knees, bow, grab their feet, kiss them. I grab their hand and tell them 'You're so beautiful. I'm not worthy,'" he wrote. "I do not give me real name. If they ask I will tell them my name is Anthony, Jason or Careem."

Weir said his motivation was to get to know the women, but he recalled that often they would move away when he tried to "taste and touch them."

"Some women had kick(ed) me and screamed," he wrote. "I've done this to about 70 women, mostly black."

Prosecutors said dozens of women had started to come forward to identify Weir, who told detectives in his confession that he lived with his parents and two sisters.

"I am currently unemployed," he wrote, adding that he had been fired from his previous job with a sightseeing company.

In his confession, Weir apologized to his victims, saying: "I don't mean to hurt no body and I am sorry."

Dawn, Yep. Wear an anklet and toe rings 24x7 as well. Even in the summer with shorts.

Hey Dawn, Yes they are trouser socks and no I haven't gotten any comments. As you said, I am sure atleast SOMEONE has noticed, but no one has said a word or treated me negatively. On the weekends I usually wear the black payless ones with my jeans and no socks. Scotty

hi sscotty727

they look like they are comfy and discreet for street heeling??

Yes, they are very comfortable and discrete. I have a black pair I have worn almost everywhere, even on the weekend to my daughters dance/karate classes.

where did you get them??

Originally I got a few pair from Payless, but unfortunately I got them in wide-width. I've had to use inserts to make them fit better. I found these this weekend at a place called Shoe Outlet(?) (I will get you the exact name later) but the brand inside the shoe is "Hot Cakes". Interestingly, they are EXACTLY the same style as the Payless "Highlights" brand. I am inclined to believe therefore they are made by the same manufactorer and distributed to various suppliers (Dr Shoe, any insight into this?).

I found them while out shopping for a pair just like these for my sister in law (see the thread "Great day shopping".)

have you been out in them??

See above. YES! Also as I stated, I am wearing these pair to work today. The black ones I have worn everywhere.

keep us posted.

cheers

kinheels

I sure will!

On a side note, I have a black pair in 11 wide width that should easily fit 1 to 2 sizes bigger than an 11 for sale (they are too big for me and even the 10 wide width are slightly big, therefore I am inclined to believe they would fit a 12-13 easily). The ones I am wearing now are an 11 medium and fit great!

Dawn, Isn't that the truth! I've backed off even asking her to wear her new sandals. As far as my sister-in-law and I go, I think she and I have more in common shoe-wise than my wife and I. We seem to have fun looking for heels, both online and in the stores. Scotty

I wore my new brown wedges to work today that I got this past weekend. Am wearing a brown izod shirt, gray pants and the brown wedges. Here are some pics.

Scotty

I test drove a 911 once.

I ALMOST got to drive a Porche when I was 16!!!! My evil step-mom put the stop to that though.

My brother (who is 9yrs older) was selling Porches at the time. He drove one over to visit us. I had just got my learners permit and he asked if I wanted to go drive it. Of course I said YES! But she was right there and said absolutely no way! I did end up getting to ride in it. Looking back, I should have just let him do it anyway, she never would have been the wiser and I could have driven a Porche at 16.

I never got a chance again. Oh well.

Here you go, Scotty:

Thanks DR. I know they aren't as "sexy" as the stilleto, but for practicle/casual wear, I think the wedges are the best. Now if anything goes, of course I would take the stilleto.

Can I request you add a wedge boot to your list? I wear wedges for descretion and also the wife approves of wedges. She doesn't like me wearing any kind of heel.

Interestingly, since I have told my sister-in-law about wearing heels a few years ago, she and I have become almost shoe shopping buddies, looking online etc for heels. I show her what I buy and I've helped her find shoes, both online and in the store (see the Great Day Shopping thread). I've even shared some of my insert ideas with her and she has tried several herself:) Too bad she is my wife's size and not my size though;)

It was more other stuff. She is ok with the descrete wedges. I didn't say she was great with them, but she is ok with them. It was when I was pushing other stuff in public (wearing sports bras, pushing to wear pumps out to dinner/movie with just her, etc) that she felt I was pushing things. There is also the fact she feels overwelmed at home with doing alot. I admit, I don't do as much as home as I should and part of that is to blame on my feeling sluggish/tired all the time cause of gaining weight. I finally decided enough is enough and went out and bought an exercise bike this weekend. Now I have very little excuse for not working out atleast 20-30mins a day. Even put it in the room where I have the ceiling fan/cable TV, SO, can easily work out there. Hopefully I will lose weight, feel more energetic and start helping out more around the house so she feels less overwhelmed.

Was about ready to give up, sent him this on Saturday....

What gives? I called you on April 18th to report I

only got the size 6 and not the size 11. You said you

would keep me informed by email but I have heard

nothing back. Is this being looked into or not? I am

about to request the transaction just be cancelled and

my money be refunded if I don't hear anything soon.

Got this response today

Hi there,

Im so sorry. I sent in a request to the manufacture complaining that

the entire order was not fulfilled - and they did not email me back.

I will print this out, and call them tomorrow. They have really

caused me a lot of frustration lately - with mistakes and delays.

I know this looks bad on Beverlyheels.com - but we rely on the

manufacturer to send their shoes out, and sometimes they make

mistakes, and take forever to get the corrected. Either way, I will

ask them to send the size 11's out tomorrow.

I will print this out now, so when I call them tomorrow - I will get

it straightened out. Sorry for not getting back to you - they did

not respond to my email so I thought they would just send the shoes

out. However, I have still not seen another tracking number or

invoice for you.

I will call or email you back on Monday (later today).

dag

I had a great weekend shopping.

It turns out my sister-in-law liked the wedge heels my wife got a while back (from Payless).

Funny thing, we got them (both my wife and I got the same shoes) back in October. She showed them to her sister back then and she didn't like them, now all of a sudden she really wanted a pair. The problem is since we got them so long ago, I doubted they even still carried them (I haven't seen them on the website in ages).

Anyway, sure enough my wife and I hit the local Payless (while she watched the kids) and nadda. I also searched Ebay and the web and nothing there either. We were planning a trip to another area of Maryland to do some shopping, so we figured we would look around there (btw, my sister-in-law and I seem to both have the shoes/heels thing in common so we tend to compare notes and look around together more often and stuff). Anyway, we hit this one store (Shoe Department) which is like a nicer payless. Low and behold they had the EXACT same shoe by a brand called "Hot Cakes" in Brown AND Black. The "problem" is that both pair were in 11M. She took the shoe to the counter and that was the last two pair they had. Well, guess what? I happen to take an 11 and I said to my siter-in-law "I should get those" and she looked and me and said "Go for it!". Back when I got my original ones at Payless, I got an 11W. Well, they never fit right, WAY too big. But since I walked around in them a bit I didn't feel like I could take them back and had my wife get me the next size down, a 10W. I can walk in them but they still feel slightly too big so I put the gel inserts (after experimenting with other inserts). Well, the 11M fit PERFECT. And now I have them in brown and black. I cleaned up the 11W and will put them in the For Sale section.

Anyway, we decided to hit payless anyway to see what they had. After looking around for a bit, I found a pair of brown wedges but the toes are more rounded and they have a little string bow in front (definitely feminine, I wouldn't wear them). The problem this time is they were a 6 1/2 and a little too big for her. She asked the sales associate if they had them in black and a size 6, but after some research she said they were an older model so she only had 1 pair left in 6 and it was brown. Well, she said she would take them since she liked the style. Payless has the buy one get the second half off right now, so we was trying to figure out what she could get for the second pair. I was trying to talk her into another pair of these other brown wedges (they have a light wedge and the toe area is more light/dark brown checkers) but she didn't like them. Well after she almost just gave up on a pair of kitten heel sandals, I happened to look up on the upper shelf and saw a box with a drawing of a wedge shoe. I figured they were the ones she didn't like but the item numbers were different. So I figured I might as well see what was in them. Low and behold, the wedge heels EXACTLY like her brown ones but in black AND a size 6!!! She was estatic and thanked me! In the end BOTH of us got brown and black wedge heels:)

Here is a funny side story. While there my wife comes up to me and proudly shows me the Jaguar clogs that have the rivits. If you look in the Wanted forum, you will see I was asking for those but she didn't like the payless style cause they were "too steep". I reminded her I showed her these before and she said "I guess I had to find them first, not you showing them to me". Women! Anyway, she also bought them. So all in all a great shoe shopping day all around. We did get to Ross (discount department like store) where she gets her pants late so she didn't have time to look much. Oh well, maybe I can make ammends and offer to take her there THIS weekend.

Scotty

Give Dag a chance. I had some issues with them before, but they worked them out and got the rest shipped to me. I still recommend them.

I called him on the 18th to let him know they only shipped one pair. He promised immediate action and would email me and let me know what was going on. It has now been ELEVEN days since and not 1 email from him and no shoes.

I just emailed him back. I am very close to cancelling the transaction, getting my money back and taking my business elsewhere. This is very shoddy business practice. I am not sure I will ever order from there again.