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balletboot

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Posts posted by balletboot

  1. When wearing skirts and womens skinny jeans or leggings where do you put your things. I'm use to having a coat in the colder months so I just use those pockets. 

    But it's not cold enough for a coat right now and I'm debating if I really want to carry a purse, wristlet or some other type of handbag.

    What do you guys do if you dont have pockets? 

    • Like 1
  2. 1 hour ago, Jkrenzer said:

    Balletboot, that pencil skirt looks restrictive. Were you able to take full steps?

    Love the heels.

    Thanks!

    I can, it gets tight just before my full step but is stretchy enough I can still take my full step. It was kinda fun that way :fine:

    • Like 1
  3. 11 minutes ago, jeremy1986 said:

    Thanks @balletboot

    You are totally right - it could be much worse. Which kind of brings me back to what I said: what do I need this for? Maybe I should indeed just "get over it" (somehow) and we can all get on with things... and move on to the next crisis ;-) 

    I think your not bringing it up for now is the right choice, and probably what I would do as well. But at some point (after creating  the right setting, atmosphere etc) you will probably want to bring it up, not to reach a resolution or agreement, but even just to clear the air. 

     

    Yes next time I bring it up will definitely be to try and clear the air. From there I'll have to wait and see how the conversation goes.

  4. @jeremy1986 It sounds like we are both in very similar situations. Along with many others but both of ours are happening more or less right now. 

    My gf and I havnt talked about it since the night of when it all happened. I can tell she is still stressed out and not ready to talk yet, so I havnt tried bringing it up. But in due time.

    I'm sorry to hear that your talk didn't quite go the way you had hoped but it could still be worse.

  5. 12 minutes ago, p1ng74 said:

    I think it will take time and actions to convince women that we are not putting our masculinity on the shelf when we wear heels.  This is why I am taking every opportunity to go out looking comfortable doing normal things while wearing heels.  Forgot something back in the car?  Yes I am sprinting, even while wearing 3” heels. Lifting my luggage at the airport?  Changing a flat tire?  I do it in 4+” heels.  Nothing changes.  I will still hold doors and elevators open for women, and bend over to pick things off the ground that get dropped.  

    I think you are right. Time is most likely the biggest factor. Also If I didn't work in a position where steel toe boots are a must and instead was in an office. I would definitely try to incorporate heels into my daily wear at work.

    • Like 1
  6. 1 hour ago, HappyinHeels said:

    balletboot,

    Ah yes, the familiar "how dare you wear what you want and shatter my protected view of the world" syndrome. Men can't flip out when they see women dressed in jeans and polo shirts one day and then a dress and heels the next but many women simply can't understand a man trying the same variety. What's going on here is traditional roles being challenged. She sees you about to go out in heels with her and she feels threatened. Your heels threaten her traditional view of you and how you, as a biological man, are supposed to be seen as her protector. Her heels are simply part of her traditional role. She's defining the world by who is wearing the heels rather than person's character. I disagree with Rick24 in that it seems premature to simply state you two are incompatible with each other but I do think you have to directly challenge her apparent insecurity. She sees your heels and is thinking, "Is he turning gay or what's next a sex change operation?" She needs that reassurance that neither of these is about to happen. That can be done by rewinding the tape of the last two years and reviewing what you already know. That you two were attracted to each other for reasons having nothing to do with heels and that heels in of themselves do not define either of you. That she has known of your heels for some time and has not objected. She owes you an explanation for her reaction and you owe her some reassurance of who you really are and why she fell in love with you. Two years is not that long, a blink of an eye compared with how long many of us have known or been married, so you are essentially still in the "road testing" phase though near the end of it I would think. I think all women want to look good next to their man in social settings and what you wear is a reflection of that. I think you two could go out together in heels but perhaps somewhere else not in your local area to start with. A frank discussion is definitely needed.

    You could point out that heels were originally designed for men 500 years ago and that it wasn't until the late 1800's that women exclusively started wearing them. You could point out that men still design much of what women now wear from their heels to their dresses and tops. You could show her this website but don't do it until after you have started to really talk about things. Whatever path you choose know that you have received some caring and thoughtful advice here from many men who wear heels and only want the best for you.  We live in cities and suburbs and small towns and rural areas all over the world and have wives and kids and work in a multitude of professions. Heels are one facet of our personality. Keep the dialogue going and keep us informed. You came to the right place :welcome:   HappyinHeels

    This is one of the most relevant post yet. It is basically exactly what has been said between us during that night and next day. 

    One of the things shes said was I'm "supposed to to protect her not be prancing around in heels." Of course in the heat of the moment I couldn't chime in much as she was to emotional to hear a single word I said. Of course as you all know we dont just prance around in heels, we just walk like every other human.

     

    And yes I did come to the right place. I havnt been given anything other than kind words and support since I joined this site!

    1 hour ago, pebblesf said:

    So, back off a bit for now, but try to keep the conversation alive.  Maybe she will reveal her fears/objections, so you will have the chance to reassure her that you are not going to run off the a drag club or change your sexual identity and desire for her.  This is a tough situation for sure, try to look at things from her perspective so you relate to how she feels insecure in the relationship.  

    By the way buddy, the combination of those boots and pants is amazingly masculine and powerful....Don

    I have definitely stepped back a few steps. But I'm not going to just let this stop me. I'm going to keep slowly trying to talk to her about it all. Maybe suggest going out of town the first time we go out in heels.

    I agree I love the look! I've never recieved a negative comment when going out. I need her to see that to help her come around.

    • Like 2
  7. 1 hour ago, dagino said:

    If you want to wear higher heels you have to give more love to your wife.

    She gets absolutely everything I have to give and it's been that way since day one. I just think I pushed it to far to fast. At least that's what I'm hoping right now.

  8. 1 hour ago, Pierre1961 said:

    And could she feel bad ,walking on your side if you ,wearing  3/4" heels are much taller than her ?

    I am taller than her. But she is always in heels that are also in the 3-4" range. So us both in heels it's like looking her when we are both barefoot.

     

    1 hour ago, Gudulitooo said:

    Perhaps it is not only between you and her.

    How many friendships or relationships will she have to abandon / recreate when her friends or relations see you both in heels ?

    I feel like our group of friends is very open to just about everything including a couple of openly gay people (both male and female) and it seems pretty much anything and everything comes up in conversation and no one bats an eye. Of course heels hasnt come up in conversation or I would have had my chance 

  9. I agree that is a good goal to reach. It's been 10 years since I bought my first heels. it wasnt untill a little over a year ago that I actually wore them out. Then it didn't take long to build up my confidence. I've only known my girlfriend for 2 years and we have been dating for the majority of that,  so you are probly right it will take her a significant amount of time to get used to it.

    • Like 1
  10. On 3/2/2019 at 7:07 PM, Cali said:

    Then show her you are no different with or without heels. That heels do not define the person. You just like life 3 inches higher.

    Yea I dont act any different when I'm in heels I'm still the same person I am without them. (As I'm sure most people on here are the same way)

    On 3/2/2019 at 8:24 PM, p1ng74 said:

    Maybe you can work out a compromise to start and see where it goes.  The heels in your picture look to be at least 3.5”, which is fairly normal for me and HHP but we have to admit is pretty unusual in the broader world.  How does she feel about a 2.5” cuban heel, which is relatively common in men’s fashion?  I am only suggesting this because I am living a similar compromise right now with my wife, who is opposed to the feminine look of thin heels but has no problem with my 3” underslung heels.  

    Those particular heels are about 4.25" but i dont think the height has much to do with the problem. I will definitely figure that out for sure in the near future.

    16 hours ago, maninboots said:

    Good luck and keep enjoying your heels but be careful not to throw away something very special mate 

    Thanks I will definitely try to find the balance between the two.. I dont want to give up either one

    13 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

     

    First of all, let me tell you Brother.  .  . I feel for you. My wife also hates my heel wearing, but for whatever reason she tolerates me, and tolerates me quite extensively, with some well defined, carved-out exceptions. I honestly cannot tell you the reasons why our significant others object to our fashion choices, but I will hazard a guess that it is really a hangup with the idea of being different. I guess I don't really know what to tell you, other than to keep talking if you can. I hope she realizes that you're the most normal guy, only 3-4 inches taller outside the house.

    What p1ng74 says makes a great deal of sense. In fact, that's kind of how I started out, and my wife got used to me in slightly elevated heels and had very little problem with it. The difference between you and me, and I believe also p1ng74, is that we evolved after we were married, and a little bit at a time. It wasn't like one day we came out of the bedroom wearing five inch Louboutins and tight skirts and said to our wives, "What do you think of me now?" I saw your pictures of your short skirts and your pointy-toed stiletto pumps and thought, "How can his girlfriend suddenly object to some pretty tame block heeled boots with pretty ordinary pants?" Then I read back a few pages and realized, "Oh.  .  . his girlfriend don't know about that shit, does she?" And therein, you have a problem. The true "you" is kind of far away, at least in fashion sense, from the "you" that you have presented to her. I realize I am not telling you anything that you don't already know. I'm just putting it right out here in print for open discussion.

     

    Yea of course I dont see the ordeal like she does. I'm definitely trying to understand it all from her side. And your right she doesn't know about the clothes but she knows about all my heels and I've worn them all around the house when shes home. She has known that I have heels shortly after we started dating. That I have never hidden. All my shoes are in plain view in the closet next to all (probly 40-50 pairs) of her heels. I can do without the skinny Jean's and skirts. I enjoy them but they are more just accessories to the heels. I can give up the slightly fem attire I have. But I know the desire for heels isnt going amywhere.

    9 hours ago, Rockpup said:

    Focus on her for a while. We will be here :)

    That's the plan.

     

    Thank you all for your opinion and words of wisdom. Its is greatly appreciated!

    • Like 2
  11. 6 minutes ago, Rick24 said:

    balletboot it won't be easy but. you will have to admit it that you both are just not compatible with each other. continue with the relationship and it will deteriorate in the future. some women like your girlfriend are sadly  insecure/territorial/ with an inferiority complex towards men in heels. at 24 I ditched having girlfriends and getting married because wearing heels made me more happy and nothing else did. there are things about marriage and girlfriends that put me off it. I'm 31 and made the right choice because it's 2019 and some women sadly still have these dated views. I wear heels and in the end I can't just live in other people's expectations and make them happy every minute. it's 2019 and we don't have to do that anymore. balletboot it would be best if you make yourself single again yes it will be tough at first but from what I have viewed. there's a puzzle piece missing from your confidence and that is meeting women when wearing your true style. in your mind you think women will run a mile if they see it. but read back from the forum and you will see more positives than negatives. look at eddie izzard and the amount of female fans he has got. they know he is a straight guy but they find him attractive especially in female style. having one bad relationship is not the end of the world. some guys here have had one bad one but found a great woman in the end. don't stay with a woman with silly social norms because they act like spoilt brats who cry if they don't get there own way. many women like confident men and i'm sure you have had a few women flirt with you when they seen you wearing heels in public. i'm glad that I have no woman in my life because it makes me selfish but they are even more selfish than I am because I can't stand there hypocrisy because of what we want to wear.

    I dont agree with any of that. If that's what you want more power to you. But I myself what to try and make this work. Yes I love heels but I certainly love the woman I am seeing more than heels. I know my love for heels isnt going anywhere but I'm willing to work on this and try to make it blossom into something great instead of just running away so I can wear heels everyday.

    • Like 3
  12. 18 minutes ago, Pierre1961 said:

    Showing her the site could be a way to tell her you are not the only straight guy  who loves heels 

    But she will for sure also find some others with skirts and more. Then she will undoubtedly think you are just at the first step of your coming  out. Dangerous ! 

    Keep all skinny jeans,skirts and any more or less feminine clothes well hidden. 

    You are right: carefulness  is the key word now and time as well 

    Yea I agree at the moment I dont think she will see the site as a bunch of other straight guys who wear heels. I think she will see it as exactly the opposite :/ 

    and most definitely all other feminine clothes are very well hidden. 

    thanks for any help and support. Its greatly appreciated!

    • Like 2
    • Thanks 1
  13. 2 hours ago, Pierre1961 said:

    These boots look very " normal" ..That means your wife don't accept men in heels at all.So,yes ,a serious conversation is needed.Maybe more than one  I would be surprised that she would change her mind within a few minutes  

    i am sorry not to have followed your heeling stories better: does she  knew about your heel passion? 

    Is it the first time you tried to wear heels with her? 

     

    She knows about my heels she knows I wear then. ( probly unaware if worn them in public, definitely doesn't know about my skinny Jean's or skirts.)Usually i just get a roll of the eyes when i wear them around the house. she has been tolerable about it all. But this was the first time she really spoke her mind. Before last night it never seemed like a big deal to her so I thought things were going well. 

    I know it wont be fixed in one day but hopefully it can be fixed in the future.

    8 minutes ago, CAT said:

    Well that blows. Sorry you are having that issue,,,,,, well not you but she is havring the issue.  I hope you can reason with her so she can accept your heels.  Maybe you can have some conversations about it and even show her this website.  My GF of 7 years accepts me for who i am and she do everything together. I am very fortunate.  I wish you the best and don’t give up,,,,, but be very careful.  It also could be very damaging to your relationship 

    CAT

    Ive thought about showing her this site. But I'm still undecided. I also thought she had accepted the fact that I have a passion for heels but I guess that was just a front she was putting up. Careful is the key word now as I dont want to ruin the relationship over shoes... this is the first person in my life that's I've ever actually seen a future with and I am not trying to mess that up.

    On 2/28/2019 at 1:51 PM, projectz said:

    @balletboot love those brown boots, may I ask where they are from??

    They are from Nordstrom and are made by tory Burch 

    • Like 1
  14. Well tonight was a disaster. 

    My girlfriend and I were supposed to go out to dinner. So we were getting ready and as I watched her pick out her outfit and then pick out her heels to match it I thought. I want to wear heels tonight instead of my boring mens sneakers.. I found a nice shirt and grabbed the pants and the heels in the picture below. Got dressed and thought to myself. This looks good I can't wait to go out to dinner!

     

    I came out of the room and she lost it. Started crying saying she hates that I have heels and hates that I want to wear them. Men dont wear heels. We talked a little but she wouldn't listen to me she has some image in her head and I can't get it out of her to really know what's going on. I offered to change into my regular sneakers with no luck.  In the end we didn't even leave the house...

    I guess my healing is now put way out on the back burner :/ 

    Hopefully tomorrow we can have a real conversation once she has calmed down a little.

    20181103_123009.thumb.jpg.e7cac081cb361271cfa80648a7d97a26.jpg

    • Like 3
  15. 1 hour ago, Jkrenzer said:

    Great pose, your legs are slender and toned. I have always been nervous about onlymaker. Have you worn their heels for extensive periods? I always get worried about the strength of the heel, had several other Chinese heels snap in half or come loose at the interface with the shoe. 

    I've been hesitant to order anything from them. i follow them on Instagram and just about everything they post looks like a knock off of some designer shoe somewhere. I rarely see shoes from them that look like it could be an original 

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