seattleshoes

OK, further dumb question. Assuming I go down the route of buying women's jeans/slacks/chinos. Can someone give me an idea of what size would fit me? 36" waist, 30" inseam (with gym shoes, obviously I would adjust based on heel height) Also, some idea of stores that I should check out that has sizes that might fit me would be much appreciated.

Thanks to those who responded. A blazer in Vegas might be a touch warm, but it might work in Seattle. Found some stuff that might work on the Banana Republic website.

(oops, mis-spelled Camouflaging) First, I respect all others who are far more forward than I am. That said, I am taking a trip to Vegas in August. I've found that it is a great place to wear whatever shoes I want due to the anonymity provided by crowds. As a bonus, the group I am going with is reasonably open-minded, but I'd like to hide my shoe choice if possible. I could just go and buy my normal size slacks/chinos with an extra 2-4 inches or so in order to cover, but the problem is that the diameter of the leg at the ankle will show an awful lot of the heels I am planning to wear. I've tried googling wide leg chinos, and variations thereof, but it seems like most of the results apply to wide upper legs, not wide lower legs. I guess I'm looking for bell bottoms, without the stigma of being, well, bell bottoms. Any sources/ideas?

Her side of the bet was that she'd have to wear Steelers gear for a week. This was fairly reasonable given how much the Steelers were favored over the Broncos. On top of that, neither of us subscribe to Sports Bigamy - the thought of wearing another team's jersey makes us a little crazy. The effect of all of this has been interesting. On one level, it has been freeing to just wear what I want. On another, it has been a little bit desensitizing in that I was pulling on heels every day for a month, and a little bit of the thrill has been taken away. All in all, I'm still happier that I did it. I've learned which of my friends are OK with this part of me, and I've learned which friends would rather not think about it. As much as we all feel we should be free to do what we want, the rest of the world is not so enlightened, and there is no reason to poke them with a stick when I can carve out areas where I can feel completely comfortable. And one more side effect - the number of women in my group of friends who have pointed out that they think I look better at my new height, and that my butt looks "hot" now. Once they got past the whole "heels are for girls" thing, they actually appreciate the overall look, especially because I'm not going out of my way to emphasize the heels, but rather attempting to integrate them into the entire outfit.

Already there. When the time ends, whenever that is, I hope to have accomplished 3 goals: 1) People are used to seeing me at 6'2" rather than 5'11". I can always say "Hey, I decided I liked being that much taller" 2) Get over the hump on wedge vs. click-y heels. Right now, I am unobtrusive, but clicking is a different thing entirely. One thing I didn't add is that my co-conspirator and I have adopted a "if you're cheating, you're clicking" clause to the bet, at least for Thanksgiving Day. We'll see how that goes - once I get over the mental stumbling block of the clicking, a lot of things open up, and the small group is a good place to test things out, as well as manipulate a "mandated" click-y heels experience when I see them. 3) Adopt an attitude of "once you get past the difference between traditionally male vs. traditionally female shoes, and you've proven you can take the occaisional barbed comment, what does it matter to you what I'm wearing on my feet? " I've basically decided that the stock answer I will give when asked "hey, didn't that bet end several months ago?" will be "yes it did, but spending that much time in women's shoes, I realized that I like being taller, I like the increased variety, and if people have an issue with what I'm wearing, I really don't care. I've known you for [insert some time period here] years. Do you really think this lessens my porn/sports/porn addiction, which we can talk about for years on end?"

I've been wearing heels in the privacy of my own home for a couple of years. Every so often I would venture out while walking the dog, or on the occaisional trip to the grocery store. I've kept this part of me hidden, even as my collection of shoes has grown.

I am, and always have been, a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers. I don't live in Pittsburgh anymore, but I've carried the black and gold on my shoulders - it is rare that I am not wearing something with the team colors on it.

So it turns out that the Steelers and Broncos were playing 4 weeks ago. I'm lucky enough to have a friend to whom I can tell just about anything, and she is a Broncos fan. About halfway through the 4th quarter, it was clear that the Steelers would most likely lose the game, so I asked for a little favor. It helped that I had a couple of drinks in me:

"Look, I know this is more than a little weird, but I like to wear women's shoes, and this is an ideal opportunity for me. Will you back me up if I say we had a bet that would require me to wear women's shoes for a month if the Steelers lose?" It has come out within my group that I have unconventional tastes, but I'd never addressed it directly before with her.

Like I said, I am fortunate to know someone like this. She said yes immediately, adding that she was happy to see someone let their freak flag fly.

I have lots of shoes in my collection, but only a couple of pairs that I would feel comfortable wearing outside. In this case, I've got a pair of Donald Pliner 3-1/2" wedge heel boots that are unobtrusive enough on first look, yet on a second inspection are clearly not men's shoes. They aren't especially elegant, but I'm not an elegant type of guy, and they do the job very nicely.

Basically, I had three groups of people that I needed to convince that this bet was real - 1) people at work, 2) the group I hang out at with at the local watering hole, and 3) a small group of close friends, who I talk to regularly but see only once every two weeks or so.

I needed to prep the work people first of all. As it turns out, I had the following Monday off, but I was emailing my business partner and let him know I had lost a Steelers-related bet, that I didn't want to talk about it, but that it was long-term and wouldn't be good. For the first couple of days I heard a lot of "these boots are made for walking", but since then it has settled down and no mention has been made.

The group at the local watering hole was helped a little bit by fate - I ran into the owner's wife while getting coffee on the Monday after the bet was made. She immediately noticed the extra height, and after a lot of pressing, I "broke down" and told her that I had lost a bet, then showed her the shoes. Her immediate reaction was laughter, but in a good way - she was clearly enjoying the fact that I was not a happy camper. After that, the rest of the group was easy, especially because she spent the rest of the day spreading the word. As with work, I had several days of good-natured taunts, but since then there's been very little conversation, especially when I wore gigantic platforms, a blond wig, and fake boobs to Halloween, all in the name of "owning it"

Finally, the small group of friends, which was pretty easy as well. I hadn't said anything to them for the first week, but the friend that helped me arrange this and another friend were out drinking and I started to tell the story of the bet, acting indignant the whole time. I didn't have to do any work from then on - he bought the story then passed it around via e-mail. When I saw the larger group the following week, all I had to do was say "shut up Stu" a lot in order to sell the idea that I wasn't enjoying things.

Now, I don't like being dishonest with people, and I won't attempt to justify my actions, but things have worked out pretty well. The keys for me were the fact that a) I have a near-perfect reputation for honesty and integrity within the circles I travel in (yes, I understand the irony here), everyone knows that I follow the terms of a bet to the letter, win or lose, c) I'm second-in-command at my office (a small dotcom), and there aren't a whole lot of people to tell me know, and d) I'm known as someone who is completely sports-obsessed.

So, for basically a month, I've had a great run, to the point where I'm working on how to make things permanent in the minds of people I interact with. We added a week because I had two meetings that it really wouldn't have been appropriate to wear the boots, but that week ends on November 25

My co-conspirator and I came up with an alternate plan to extend things - we floated a story amongst the three groups that said she had caught me ducking into the local coffee shop wearing gym shoes, in clear violation of the bet, and that she wanted to extend the term another month because of the cheating. I got some pushback from the local bar denizens, so we came up with an alternate plan that should keep things going for a while - we're submitting the question of the extension to my small group of close friends at Thanksgiving, and we'll agree to do whatever they decide. Due to a little preparatory work that I've done, plus some residual resentment about how the Steelers beat the Seahawks in the Super Bowl a couple of years ago (all of this takes place in Seattle), I'm pretty sure that an extra month will be the minimum.

As I've noted, I don't like lying to people, and I'm sure that it will eventually come out, but I've rationalized it by slowly bringing trustworthy people on board to the truth, and they've been mostly supportive. As time has gone by, it really has become less and less of an issue. If things go as I hope, I will be able to graduate to the pair I really want to wear in public, which I bought at Nordstrom's several weeks ago:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2940330?tuid=000006cb-006f-0861-6c61-726765727669&id=7599465&largeImg=0&tname=product

I'll keep you all updated both on the near and long term parts of this experiment.

Lets take it as a given that we don't have enough to start our own company to make these designs. What we do have is a vocal group and a market that can be exploited.

What I'm thinking is that once a month we target a shoe company and collectively come up with a letter addressing our desires that we can send on an organized basis. Many companies will not respond to us, but there will be some who will see an opportunity.

Sample talking points:

1) Large community of male heel wearers, many of whom would like some more attention.

2) Big problems currently - design choices and sizing. Sizing is fairly obvious.

3) Design choices - making some styles slightly more masculine would open up a market that nobody is going after. For instance, Tsubo makes the most comfortable shoes I've ever worn - they are basically sneakers with a 3" heel:

http://www.tsubo.com/women.php?collection=current_collection&style=all&id=AD2-01&details=yes, but the Mary Jane style makes it too obvious that they are not guy shoes - put a tongue on those babies so that the sock wasn't showing, and you woud sell a pile of them to us.

Other design choices - rounded toes are not only more comfortable for the majority of us, but more masculine-looking as well. We don't want to take over the whole line, but just a little nod in our direction would be appreciated.

(Yes, I do think that Tsubo should be our first target). I love my current shoes, but the addition of the tongue, plus an extra inch of lift, would be fantastic.

Any thoughts?

Yep, Vegas is absolutely outstanding for seeing substantial numbers of women wearing significantly high heels. On my last trip there, I tooled around one of the casinos wearing a pair of 3" wedge boots under my jeans for a couple of days. It was really nice to be able to walk anywhere I wanted inpretty much total anonymity. Oh, and don't forget that there is a second convention in town at the time of CES, if my memory serves - the adult film maker's convention has their meeting at the same time. That's a ludicrous amount of heels waiting to happen.

Nailpainter - I've been toying around with getting some platform flip-flops but was unsure of how comfortable they'd be (summer is coming, after all). Can you post a picture of yours? Also, my experience here in Seattle is that as long as you're not real overt about it, nobody even notices. I've spent more time at the Costco south of Safeco wearing a pair of Plinar wedge boots than I could have believed possible 3 months ago.

They got here today, and I have to say I'm pretty happy overall. They are size 11, and normally I'm a size 12, but they fit OK. I do recommend trimming your toenails but otherwise no problems on fit. As it turns out, the description on Endless.com was wrong - they listed a 3-3/4" heel, but in fact the shoes are 2-3/4" at best. Disappointing, but given the overall comfort and "hide-ability" of these shoes, plus the fact that they were 50% off, I can handle the disappointment. I've seen these shoes around the net in other places. If you have the cash, they are a good addition to the collection.

As most have figured out due to previous posts, I fall on the chunky side of the chunky/thin heel debate. I really just like heels for the lift more than anything else, and there is really no need to call attention to myself.

Anyway, I was perusing endless.com and found the last pair of Tsubo's that they had in stock in size 11. Bonus points - they were selling for half off and free next day air shipping, so I got them for a total of $50

http://www.endless.com/dp/B000F367XG/104-9686657-6390347?%5Fencoding=UTF8

Not particularly elegant, but they are understated, and will require a second, third, or fourth look from someone to confirm that there is a heel underneath my jeans.

I've gotta stop cruising these shoe sites. My American Express is about to blow a gasket.

And, in one of the strangest twists ever, I'm watching a close female friend's dog this weekend. She just dropped the dog off, and lo and behold, what was she wearing? You guessed it - the exact style of shoes that I was talking about. Now I just have to get the courage either a) ask her outright, or come up with a reason for inquiring that won't arouse her suspicion.

Smitty, thanks much - I think you nailed it. I knew it had to be a fairly common brand because I've seen these things before - the Skechers are probably the closest to what I saw. Thanks much to everyone who responded.

OK, thanks everybody for the pointers. The front of the shoe, which was all I could see, basically looked like the one in this link:

http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/17353798/c/3.html

(Thanks to BobHH especially for the assist).

Now, I could not see the back of the shoe, but it didn't appear like her shoes were backless, as you would see with traditional "clogs" (in my experience, women wearing clogs seem to move differently than those where the ankle is a part of the shoe).

I'll keep looking, now that I have a better idea of what I'm looking for. They seem to be common enough here in Seattle that I should be able to find an example on somebody's feet in the fairly near future, and hopefully I'll have the guts to ask what kind of shoes they are.

Saw a girl this weekend with shoes that I want, but since I didn't talk to her, I'm not sure of what I should be searching for. Basically, what I could see of the shoe was a big round toe area (I think some of you call them bubble-toes) with a very discreet chunky heel (her jeans covered most of the shoe). I could tell they were heels not by looking at the shoe itself, but because of the stride/posture of the wearer. My guess was that it was about a 3" heel. I've been searching, using words like "oxford", but I don't think that is quite right. The impression that was left on me was almost "work boot", but with a bunch of lift in the back. Any help in at least naming the type of shoes so I can go searching for them?

Joe, no reason to say you're sorry. They aren't particularly pretty, but they are utilitarian in that they solve the problem (for me) of a guy walking around in public with 3" heels on. I like wearing heels for the lift, not to accentuate my outfit. I spent several hours out and about this afternoon in the mall and the grocery store today without a second glance coming my way.

OK - an early review on these boots. They are everything I had hoped they would be. At 3" we're not talking about a big lift, but you definitely feel it. Took the dog for a walk around the neighborhood and noticed that I definitely felt it in my toes, but that might have been a function of my walking style. More later about my experiences.

I had basically given up on finding wedge boots in a size 12 that I could wear under jeans and would not attract undue attention, but would also have a decent-size heel.

Found these little babies at Nordstrom, 3" heel, low-rise boot. At $240, this is the most I've ever paid for shoes, whether male or female, but I'm getting a bonus this Christmas, and sometimes you just have to do these things.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2900541/0~2376778~2372808~6004875?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6004875&P=1

If for some reason the link doesn't work, go to Nordstrom.com and search for "Donald J Pliner 'Isada' Ankle Boot".

Will let you know how they work out when they arrive.

dr1819 - you wouldn't happen to have a link for those cowboy-style boots, would you?

What do you think of their note "Because of the Baby Doll Toe,

We recommend that you order 1 size Smaller"?

To sum it up:

1. start with a modest heel, maybe 3 inches

2. choose shoes that give some support such as boots or oxfords

3. take short steps at first

4. don't listen to people that say you put your toes down first

5. practice, practice, practice

I think I might have answered my own question on this. In addition to the helpful suggestions, I just realized that I have a couple of things to add:

1. When standing, get used to keeping your legs straight. You don't have to lock your knees, but you'll be pretty close. This will have the effect of shoving your butt out a little.

2. Stand at a sink and wash dishes. Sounds stupid, but if you keep in mind point number one, you'll be forced to bend at the waist and keep that butt pushed out.

3. When walking, your knees do the opposite of what you do when wearing flats. In flats, as you complete the step (your foot is behind your body), you roll your foot forward from heel to toe, and your knee bends forward. In heels, concentrate on a) moving your knee backwards, and picking your foot straight up.

4. In order to accomplish all of this, small steps are necessary, although you can extend your stride a little as you become more adept.

Thanks for all the help!

My mistake on the googling. I had seen some of those before, but I wasn't sure if I was doing it correctly. I have a pair of 6" platforms (2" platform, so effectively a 4" rise) that I wear on a regular basis, but I find myself bending my knees in order to stay upright, but from what I gather, that's not right either. Should I aim for a straight line from my ankle to my hip?

Thanks for the help. One other question - I've been looking online for a guide to walking in heels, but Google has been failing me. Any tips/tricks/guides that you'd care to pass along?

Melyssa, the second pair are pretty much exactly what I was looking for - solid heel, no difference in color. Could easily be worn under long pants at night and nobody would know the difference.

I've been collecting heels for a couple of years and wear them around the house. Just love the lift on the shoes that I have. Unfortunately, the shoes that I have simply can't be worn outside. I'm looking for a source of either a men's shoe with a wedge heel of at least 2" or more, or a women's shoe that is basically the same thing. What I'm trying to avoid is the open space that exists in most heels and which I feel tends to draw attention to something that I don't want to have attention drawn to. Has anyone seen these type of shoes and do they know where I can find them?