LuvyourShoes

On Wednesday, April 27, 2016 at 9:03 PM, Jkrenzer said:

Nobody take this the wrong way but larger sizes typically happen more often if there is a higher percentage of African America women living in that region. For whatever reason African America women seem to have larger feet than Caucasian women. 

This is a very true statement.

Happy Anniversary!Thanks for your great contributions! 

I absolutely love the looks and he discussion. I recently wore a fully feminine outfit and it was exhilarating. I can only suggest to those who have yet to try, DO IT. Wear that skirt, dress, heels, blouse, or whatever you are drawn to. The only way the world will accept it, is if you do it. The fashion world is ready. Take advantage of the times!! 

I don't really have a descriptor for how I feel. I really feel natural... I feel powerful.  I just feel great when I wear heels. 

People just need words to organize their feelings. 

If you're caring, endearing, kind, and welcoming, these seem like feminine traits, but as a man, I embody all of those. I think I can still be manly in heels, and not feminine,  but rather, I just feel like it's an extension of me.

I too would like to know of the results here in the U.S.

Seems very interesting! 

To echo many here, I suggest you go ahead and tell her. Find a way to bring it up in conversation. Talk about a Halloween drag show or rock stars in heels or some tv show that has men in heels, then ask her for her thoughts until eventually you ask her if she thinks you could pull off heels for halloween. From there you can tell her that you've always been interested in heels in your own way. 

She'll ask the standard questions:

Are you gay? Does your family know? Do you wear them out? Do you wear other womens clothes? 

Be prepared for this.

In the future,  the earlier you discuss this topic the relationship the better. If she doesn't feel comfortable with it there's less stuff to go through. 

Good luck! 

I think I identify as gender fluid as well. I have a feminine side that craves expression and creativity. I don't identify as a cross dresser though, as I mix men's and women's clothing. I have on men's boots, shirt and blazer, but womens jeans. I frequently dress this way. Just a thought.

Great points on religion. I grew up the son of a pastor, in a strictly religious household. I hated it. I don't wish forced religious beliefs on anyone. It is very restrictive and ignorant.

I have since begun to move away from church and religion, and move toward a more spiritual and mentally uplifting approach to spiritual growth. This has enhanced my well being tremendously, but it makes me question society's rules even more, which is a whole other situation in itself.

This topic is pretty awesome though. Keep the great points coming.

The last few sentences of Histiletto's post really ring true. It's sad that ppl just do not think for themselves and must rely on others validations to make it through life.

I like me, and I like items from the women's section. I'm going to buy and wear what I want.

I agree with Pebbles, as the gender/sexuality spectrum is incredibly vast.

Gender is defined (from my experience) as what you feel like you identify as... a man or woman, or something in between.

Sexuality is who you're attracted to, as in if you like men or if you like women.

These two traits can be totally unrelated. Society wants them to be clear cut, but they aren't at all. You can be a dress and heel wearing man, but still adore the touch of a woman, as many of us here are. A big burly stereotypical man's man can also enjoy being with a man sexually. A woman who dresses as a man can still fall in love with a guy who also dresses like a standard man.

I've seen it all in my lifetime. It continually gets better as I go along!

I hope this helps!

Ah, so many good perspectives!

For my wife, the Orange is the New Black situation with Laverne Cox is what scared her the most. She can be closed minded, but she does try.

We had a major talk yesterday and she revealed more about how she felt. She has been around a certain kind of guy all her life... the macho, thuggish man who does stupid hood things, but means well. So me being an intelligent, creative, and sensitive person attracts her , yet with creativity comes my attunement to clothing from the women's department, which turns her off and scares her.

It's tough, because I do love her. I think I'll keep trying with her for a while longer. If it gets worse, we'll cut our losses at the proper time.

Kilty, I'm very sorry for your situation. West Indian people are very homophobic and unforgiving toward anything defying gender norms. My wife is from up north and has islander in her family so I believe that's where alot of her stereotyping and fears come from. Batty Man is a supremely offensive name to be called, especially in front of kids. I wish you luck throughout your times with those people.

I've learned that you must simply be yourself. There will come a person who will accept you for who you are. I will hold out for a while longer with this one.

Please continue the conversation and share experiences. Your insight may help someone else.

Pebbles, I definitely don't plan on giving up heels. That's just going to go with me until I move to the next plane of existence!

I thought the pink really stood out sharply as well. Perhaps a different shade of pink could be helpful. Salmon, or try darker with a Rose of some sort.

I don't mind this being moved to the "for everyone" section at all. I just asked the guys initially because this happens to be the forum that I spend the most time in. All perspectives are welcome.

I am strongly leaning toward divorce at this point. My intuition is telling me that there may be another person in this situation, but I'm not sure how intimate it has gotten. I noticed small subtle differences in her actions at one point that led me to believe that she's had another person, but the fling is over, if that makes sense.

She pulled away form my touch one day, almost as if she were in disgust, and she stopped calling my name during sex, which used to be an automatic staple, for 3 consecutive sessions. We started having sex again recently and now she's calling my name again. All this happened around a time where I started wearing womens clothes and shoes a bit more.

Sorry to get so graphic but I'm just getting it out. Ladies responses are welcome.

Great advice from everyone. Thanks very much.

Hi everyone.

I'm having a tough time in my marriage at the moment and a continuous theme is around my wearing heels and being somewhat feminine. I have upheld the household for the entire year and a half that we've been married, even when she had no job/ brought in low income, helped her get a car, helped her get back into school, and all around improved her life.

I feel like she has not improved my life and criticizes everything I do. Again, the shoes and feminine things cause an attitude. This is just a small piece of the issue, and obviously my side only.

I thought she was fine with the shoes, but time changes people's ideas and perceptions. I told her about them from the beginning.

I've noticed quite a few "ex-wife" stories here on the board, and I was wondering if these divorces stemmed from shoes or was it from other problems. Any insight is appreciated as I know it's a touchy subject.

Thanks in advance

Some pics! From phone... sorry for the awkward orientation.

 I really did have an amazing trip guys...  I can't tell you how amazing it was to just be free of knowing anyone, and just being myself with no masks or self-imposed expectations.  I was a guy wearing what I wanted to wear (for the most part) and enjoying the city.

I told you about my first full day out and about, and that was a lot of fun.  The second full day was a bit of an adventure.  I had to go to Tacoma on personal business, but I still was able to wear what I wanted.  I borrowed a long, dark red cardigan/duster from my wife (without her knowledge... lol.  I put it back) and decided to put it together with a slim grey vneck tshirt, some nice fitted blue jeans and some high heel clogs (which I absolutely adore).  I feel like this look is 100% me.  It's how I feel inside... fun, breezy, a bit on the hippie side, and a bit flirty.  Sorry, no pics today though.

I hopped on a bus to get to the light rail, then on the light rail to get to the airport.  From the airport, I caught a bus which took me all the way to Tacoma, and then from there, another two buses to get to my destination.  Along the way, I met people, chatted, and enjoyed good times, and no one cared about what I was wearing.  I wasn't too far out of the ordinary, so it really didn't surprise me that no one noticed my attire.  I think the stigmas I imposed on myself were a bit more far fetched than I thought.

On the way back, I found out that a lot of the buses stop running around 9pm... which left me very far from where I needed to be!  The last bus back to Seattle was coming at 10:15, which meant that I needed to get a move on or I'd be spending the night in Tacoma!  I took off my clogs and put on a pair of brown stretchy flats with a cute bow and pendant on top and set out to make it before the bus left!  It was a little over two miles from where I was to the bus stop!  Multiple cars passed, and the sun set slowly (strange that it was still light out at 9pm) to give way to darkness as I walked through multiple neighborhoods to get to the stop.  One thing I definitely noticed in Washington State... people leave their doors open alot... I mean wide open!  It boggled my mind... I have never seen this many wide open doors and windows in my life.  Someone explained to me that the heat gets unbearable so people do it to keep cool, but I didn't imagine it to be this widespread!

I made it to the bus stop with about 10 minutes to spare.  It was an exhilarating adventure, and I was happy that I made it!  The ride back on the bus and light rail were not very interesting, but that's a good thing.  I was just a guy in flats enjoying my evening ride home.

I'll tell about the last day in another entry.

Enjoy your day!

You guys are awesome! I'm on the Greyhound back to Richmond after a long day of flights. I'll give a major update from the trip plus some shoe pics from the past few days.

Thanks for helping me make a wonderful trip, and special thanks to BSS for his time and hospitality in the Seattle area. He made the trip even more fun!

Expect an update tomorrow!

My desire for stiletto heels will keep me wearing them even after my mortal demise, as far as I am concerned. This idea that we are wearing gender labeled items is part of our social brain-washing. The item(s) of apparel that strike your fancy and you find them pleasing to have on, are outward expressions of who you are. This is the natural aesthetic properties of what attiring is suppose to accomplish. Using clothing to classify or segregate people is a demeaning habit society has developed to promote its man-made ideals for caste or role playing type systems. So wear the fancies of your desire that you are pleased with having on for the intended occasion.

This statement... excellent.

Salts

U had an amazing day yesterday. It was a like a fresh breeze in my life, and it was much needed.

I set out to spend my day wearing shoes that I really want to wear. I've been terribly frustrated with the feeling of being confined in men's shoes, and being here in this area that doesn't seem to care about what you wear, has been very liberating. I'm so glad I made it to Seattle.

Yesterday's journey was very interesting. I decided to dress fashionably simple and chose to wear a charcoal H&M tshirt, Uniqlo slim fit men's jeans, a Blue relaxed blazer and my black Nine West boots! I felt amazing and I set out feeling very accomplished!

I rode the bus and train to get downtown and walked through downtown Seattle through all the major traffic. There were a few people who paid attention to me and gave quick looks. The ones I noticed were either confused or maybe thought, " he's wearing heels... ok" and kept it moving. No one outright mocked me. I did receive a fun comment from a young lady passing by. She said something along the lines of, "The swag is real" with a huge smile on her face. Lol. I'll take it as a major compliment.

I made it to Pike St. Market Steve, and watched them sing songs and toss fish like I imagine fishermen would. I also purchased fresh fruit from a stand. Very cool indeed!

By this time, I had been walking in heels for roughly 3 hours or so, and my feet were crying from all the steps and hills. I decided to switch to some flats! I took out my red snakeskin patterned MIA flats and slipped into them. Much better for all the walking ahead.

The aquarium was decent. I was expecting way more, but it was cool.

Next was Nordstrom Rack to claim the Bcbg heels I coveted so badly! On my way there, I met a young woman who was a part of the children's network. She said she stopped me because I looked like a really nice person... and of course she was right. We had a nice long conversation and I ended up setting a chill date with her for 6pm that evening!

I then went to Nordstrom and tried on multiple shoes again. I purchased my heels and some gold flats and just enjoyed myself.

At 6pm I went out with the young lady. She really was a beautiful person. I'll describe her further when I have more time to write. We stayed out til 10p then went our separate ways.

I made it back to my room at 12... a long day of walking... so my legs were sore, but I wore the shoes I wanted to wear, and that really matters alot to me.

Pics!

My outfit plus some awesome size 12s and 13s I saw on my journey.

Enjoy

Thanks Steve!

And yes Ron, she does wear a 12, but she isn't afraid to throw on a 10 or an 11... lol.

I've made it safely to Seattle! I plan on wearing a pair of Nine West Boots on my outing. I'll take a few pics as I go. Anyone in the area, please feel free to give me a shout!

Let me say that I have had one of the best days ever here in Seattle. It feels like a whole different atmosphere here compared to Virginia. Everyone seems to be way more relaxed (no weed references intended, lol) and friendly.

I didn't get to do much heeling today because I walked all over the place. I chose to not kill myself and wore flats ( and still killed myself anyway). I did however visit Nordstrom rack and found some beautiful bcbg heels.

I didn't buy them yesterday, and dreamt of them for the remainder of the day... and this morning.

I must go back and get them today!!!

I'm off to the aquarium and Space Needle today, then back for my heels!

I personally love this look. I too have not ventured over to womens tops, but I most certainly enjoy womens jeans to the fullest. I'd like some khakis like yours as well.

Plus the shoes are awesome!

We'll done!

I would love to do a trip out there! So many places to visit!

Here's a bonus pic to kick off the journey.

A beautiful young woman I met at a party broke out the stripper heels for fun. We started talking about them and she asked the question "Do you want to wear them?"...

Little did she know... lol.

I became the hit of the party due to my excellent stride and grace. She and I became great friends and chatted endlessly about shoes! My shoe size was only slightly larger than hers, despite the massive cliffhanger toes you see. Lol. The shoes were a 10, she wore a 12, and I wear a 13.

She has the common "can't find shoes in my size" problem. I didn't have time to go into the details of where to find shoes just then though.

Anyway, I think this is a positive start to a great week!

Alright good people,

The time has arrived! I will be heading out to Seattle via plane tomorrow morning. I should be in Seattle by noon PST. I'll be getting situated mostly on Tuesday, but Wednesday and Thursday are very flexible for any meet ups.

I'm excited and happy about this trip. If we cross paths, it should make for a great time!

To all my Northern and Midwestern fellow heelers, thanks for your wisdom and support. I'll make a shorter trip up that way soon and keep you all posted. Pics will be coming soon!

I enjoyed the pics!! Very nice indeed. The shoes are cool!