Ben2006

I don't know if I am lucky here but this is the kind of shoes you will find a lot of in Sweden. I think we "invented" them many years ago.

On the product page http://www.manufactum.de/product/753060/group/172398/Produktdetail.1773.0.html they write that those types of shoes don't originally come (like many people suppose) from the Netherlands, but from France, where they are called "sabots". The pair shown, however, does come from the Netherlands indeed. No word about Sweden

IMHO they look too casual and is a "turn off" for me when I see women wearing them. But taste is different.

I'm not quite sure, too, if I wanted to see my wife wearing them But for me, it's momentarily the best I can get (and even to wear "officially"), respecting the heel height.

I googled the net and found this manufacturer of wooden shoes ("träskor"/"traskor" in swedish). I can't figure out if the have internet sales, and their english pages doesn't contain anything at all. If you have some questions I can call/e-mail them for you.

http://www.tratoffelfabriken.com/sida_1_5.asp

http://www.tratoffelfabriken.com/sida_1_19.asp

http://www.tratoffelfabriken.com/sida_1_67.asp

Yes, they do have a big range of models indeed (though I couldn't find a black one with wooden sole). But it seems that this is the manufacturer itself (not a store), and I guess "Butikspris" is translated as "boutique price" (that means what they mean what you should pay in a store for them). Admitted, they aren't very expensive!

Currently, I still flinch from ordering from foreign countries (at least, if there's no simple web form where you can enter your credit card number )

Thank you for your offer to make an inquiry there, but for my first pair of those, I think I'll stick to my domestic supplier even if it's a bit more expensive this time. If I should order such shoes once per week, I'll get back to you

I mentioned it before here but there is another shop in Sweden that has small and large women shoes in nice styles; www.kingsizeskor.se

Yes, found already http://www.kingsizeskor.se/herr/2618.html there, but I prefer wood or cork soles (with rubber under it to make them "parquet-compatible"). And 450 SEK would be about 50 EUR, still more expensive than the ones from Manufactum...

Ben

Ok, just some information about how it's going on:

Since winter appears to come real soon now, and my toes begin to freeze these days (really! It's become cold and rainy in Europe), I watched out for some "nice" closed-toe shoes which I could wear at home with socks during winter.

Currently, my "house shoes" are these (click on all images to get a bigger picture):

(We bought these before I told my wife )

I thought I had to wait until our next city shopping tour to look at local stores, but in the meantime, I still looked a bit for internet stores. Funny enough, I found the web pages of a local store where I found these:

I've shown them to my wife, and she made her "oh-god-he-starts-with-his-shoes-again" face and didn't really say anything - so I knew I rather wouldn't buy those shoes (and I'd still had to hide it from visitors, too). And in addition, I'm not quite sure if I'd really had spent $150 for them...

But today, I found these:

The don't have a local store here, but at least, it's a German company, and the price is just $45! And they seem to be "officially" unisex because the sizes go non-stop from 36 to 47!

I've shown them to my wife, too, and she agreed that they look quite "normal" (that means, "male" ), and she'd even allow me to wear them when visitors are here! Of course, they are not as high as the other pair, but being able to wear them always (and not being forced to hide them from the rest of the world) is just more value to me than just heel heights.

Will order them when we'll return from our Black Forest vacation next week...

Ben

Any figures saying how many took part in this event?

100 Women.

There was an article in today's newspaper; I'll try to translate into English:

Superfast in High Heels

Woman from Cologne won

BERLIN: 80 meters in 12,0 seconds - thanks to this performance, the 24-year-old women from Cologne, Nadin Sonnabend, is entitled to go shopping at Berlin's shopping mall "KaDeWe", for 10,000 Euros (about $12,700).

Her sprint result is remarkable at all: She succeeded in shoes with high heels at the "Stiletto Run" on Berlin's Kurfürstendamm.

The magazine "Glamour" had inivited 100 women to this competition. First, the participants (who had to wear at least 7 cm = 2 3/4 inch heels) should have completed a 100 meter run. Because of the huge number of people who wanted to attend the run, it had been shortened.

Ben

PS: I can translate Euros into Dollars, and centimeters in inches, but don't really know about meters/yards/feet and all that

Does 650Euros equate to about $900?

About $825. Pretty expensive indeed

Ben

The only forum for which guest posting is allowed is the first forum. Registration is required for anything else.

Hmmm... found a guest posting in the "stories" forum:

http://www.hhplace.org/hhboard/viewtopic.php?t=7684

Not really spam in this case, but at least possible posting for guests there...

Ben

Actually I got them both off ebay. You might want to check there too. Good luck!

I've already found something similar on http://www.tallgirls.co.uk/site/details.cfm?StockID=163&CatID=3&CatPageID=91&ImageID=1589&PageID=1&CFID=99219

But before ordering in UK (money conversion fees, expensive shipping, other sizes), I'll give it a try in local stores first (where I can try sizes - still not quite sure about sizes, but 41 seems to fit pretty good, though I usually have 42 in "male" sizes).

Will check (German) Ebay, too, of course.

Ben

In another side note, I also wore THESE in the hospital with shorts when my daughter was born and not 1 person flinched. I also wear an anklet too;) I wore them to my daughters friends picnic and also to Kings Dominion again, with shorts both time. Not 1 person flinched:)

Yes, they do have a pretty "male" look (which even my wife had to admit - after the usual gentle moan "oh, it's about shoes again - are you doing/thinking still anything else?").

I haven't seen such in local stores yet, but I'll keep an eye on it at our next shopping tour.

Ben

One way you could help your situation though is to look for more descrete heels that you could wear on a daily basis. It would be another way to show her your trying to be more sensitive and also it would allow you more time to wear them.

I'm just trying that currently (see below).

Don't get me wrong, the sandals look cool and all, but they are definitely feminine. I would save stuff for that until either personal private times (maybe AFTER work hours when you two are alone) or maybe later IF she becomes more open and accepting. For your daily work time, I would try to find something that you can wear and not have to quickly take off.

Generally, we're alone all the time, even at work hours (we both work at our home office). Normally, visitors (which are rather seldom at all, I'm in the internet business) make an appointment before, and the only "suprising door bell ringers" are the postman, some packet delivery services, and sometimes the neighbor because his phone is broken down

So, we're pretty "private" here at all (except when going into the garden to pull the weeds out of the lawn ).

Another point to consider. If you do get more descrete footware and do go out in public in them, if she sees no negative reaction that might also ease her fears.

Good point, but this won't ever happen because she's not even going out with me when I'd like to wear my ("officially" bought) Docker's (men's!) boots (2 1/2 inch wedge, 1 1/2 inch platform). She says they look ugly, and she's ashamed for me when I wear them. Hm. Not understandable at all for me. In my opinion, they are very nice (and even pretty "male").

As for the originator of the thread Ben, I wish you the best of luck and happiness and I hope all the various advice you got here helps out. Pleaes keep us posted.

Well, the story continues:

As already announced, yesterday I wore the sandals in my avatar 15 hours (7:30am-10:30pm) without any single interruption! It was an absolutely great feeling, although my calves were a bit stressed after that She said nothing at all about it the whole day (and I didn't get the feeling that she'd been "uncomfortable" with it "inside" either).

Today, it's Friday. Every Friday, I do some shopping (alone) in the supermarket 'round the corner (mostly some fresh vegetables, bread, cat food and some other minor things which can't wait until our grand shopping tour once a month or so). Besides food, they have nearly everything (even TV sets, washing machines, househould articles, clothing...) and, of course, shoes!

Unfortunately, they generally don't have that kind of shoes we're dicsussing here (it's more "for the fiftyish wife" if you know what I mean). Well, usually some rather nice sandals, but with heels which wouldn't go on our wooden floor anyway.

But today, I found those:

(3 inch wedge, 3/4 inch platform, flat rubber sole, hence "parquet-compatible") and I thought "that could be the ones for daily use" (ok, still a bit feminine maybe, but in any case less feminine than the same ones in pink or blue which they had, too).

I pondered "hm, can I just take them home and show her? what should I do?". Since I had some food-buying questions anyway, I called her from my mobile phone and talked about shopping first, and then I just asked her "I found a pair of 'ladies house slippers' (that's a running gag between us, see below) which surely are parquet-compatible, do you think I can buy them? But I'm not sure if I should take size 40 or 41...".

After the usual moaning when I start shoe topics :-) , she surprised me by saying "why don't you just try them?" I couldn't say anything in the first moment, and then she continued "why not? no one will look at you". Now isn't that funny?!

So I took the shoe carton over to the men's shelf and tried them (the 41 was better, as I already had expected). Indeed, no one was looking

They are very comfortable, I can them wear with socks, too, and they are absolutely noiseless (not that clap-clap with the sandals in my avatar) so that she'll never be reminded of what I'm just wearing. Now I'm planning to were them rather often - let's see if she'll complain some day...

At our next city shopping tour (many specialized shoe stores there!), I'll try to choose another high (or better mid) heel pair together with her - maybe it'll be some fun actually.

Will keep you posted...

Ben

PS: We once were on vacation on the Maldives, and before, we bought those rubber beach shoes (for not stepping onto sharp-edged shells or that). After paying them, we had a look at the sales slip, and there was marked "ladies house slippers". Since then, all funny or other "special" shoes are called "ladies house slippers" by us

Hi Jeff, congratulations to your first high heel experience! Just a little piece of advice from someone who has gone through all that already: Don't wait 12 years (like me!) to tell your wife. You'll get physically sick (and psychically as well) just when you constantly think about "how can I order/buy new shoes without her noticing it" or "where is my best hiding place" or, later on, "help - my hiding place is already full with shoes" Of course, don't just barge in saying "honey, look at my new shoes", but you should look for a suitable moment to tell her just from the beginning. I know, that's easily said, but believe me: life is better and healthier after it Ben

Two things you don't want to do. You don't want to come off demanding "I will wear what I want, when I want and you will get used to it" (which I don't think sounds like you either). You also don't want to come off as a child asking permission "mother, may I wear these tomorrow, please, please?".

Yes, those are the two extremes which I both want to avoid. So, yesterday evening, I thought about how I could break her gently that I'd like to wear my sandals today again. Had no very good idea, but mentioned in a rather quiet moment while going to bed "let's see, what's up tomorrow, darling? hmmm... we won't leave the house, and no one will drop by... would be a good day to wear my sandals again". She said nothing, just moaned a little bit, and then we were already talking about some other subject. In principle, that's ok for me, but at the back of my mind, I keep your other posting:

Some spouses (especially women) tend to internalize things they don't like and let it build up. So don't assume because she isn't saying anything negative or stopping you that she is ok with it.

So I'm a bit afraid if there's something more to it than a little moan or sigh... I did already (even on the first day) say something like:

"Honey, I love you and that will never change. You know that I also have a passion for wearing heels. I know there are aspects of it that bother you. I don't wish to make you uncomfortable nor see me in a different way, I promise I am still the man you feel in love with and married. But I also don't want to push my likes away and feel like I am hiding or killing part of what is me. What I would like to do is to talk with you what it is that you don't like about me in heels and see if we can't workout a compromise that will make us both happy."

(BTW, I find this wonderful! ), but the whole response I get on such things is a shrug of her shoulders and a vague "oh darling, what can I say...". Hm. What does this mean?!

Well, it doesn't seem too bad either: While writing this posting today, I'm now wearing my sandals from getting up at 7:30am and will keep them on until getting into bed at, maybe, 10pm or so (BTW, this is the longest period of time I have ever worn high heels in my life continuosly); and she reacts quite normal, smiles, laughs and so on - I guess she's just trying to ignore it as good as it gets. Granted, that's not yet the ideal condition, but I'm on my way

It might also help to show her the website or even this thread to show her you are not alone or odd or weird.

I'm pretty sure this wouldn't be a good idea. She's so keen on holding my passion secret - so she wouldn't be very enthusiastic if she knew that I've told my (our) whole story to a worldwide-readable online forum

I guess the "hiding" is her main issue:

Ok everyone, society not accepting men in heels is just one issue. That doesn't mean SHE has that issue. That was only a minor part of my wife's issue. The MAIN issue my wife had was she didn't want me to look like a woman...

because it's just a feeling which one got from one's education: "Das tut man nicht!" in German, "Faux pas!" in French, maybe "It's bad manners!" in English. You simply can't get such a feeling out from yourself when you have internalized it for so many, many years.

Ben

sscotty727: Thank you very much for your warm welcome. I really do feel better when talking to people who had similar experiences - it always helps when you know that you're not the only one all over the world suffering from that passion.

Wearing (noticeable) high heels in public never was a real issue to me - I'm just too shy myself I do have some black wedge ankle boots:

(5 inches, with a 2 inch platform) which I occasionally used to go to the bakery, the mailbox or the bottle bank around the corner. Wearing with jeans, they look just like any normal heavy winter boots. I really hope that my wife will allow me to use them "officially" next winter when going to the mailbox (after 4pm when it's dark ). (Most probably, she'll say "Do what you want, I just don't want to know about it".)

Oh, well, talking about "publicking", I do have one more experience: On a January 2nd, some years ago, I used my kneehigh platform boots:

(5 1/2 inch heels, 2 inch platform, stretch shaft) at work, at 6:30am, to walk to the next mailbox (less than a mile, round-trip) during a snow storm. Since I was working in an industrial zone then, and everyone else was in Christmas vacation, I surely was the only walker within a radius of several miles!

Ok, so far for my public performances. Pretty nice indeed, but not in the first place for me.

But now back to your posting. I definitely agree with you that talking is the most important thing in a relationship. In this case, it's just a bit difficult for me because she never starts a high heel related conversation by herself; so it's always up to me to bring up that topic, and every time I'd like to talk to her about it, I'm rather afraid whether she'll be annoyed that I come up with that thing again.

For example, now, after some days "pause", I'd like to ask her if she would mind if I'd wear the sandals tomorrow again, but I'm not quite sure if "some days" pause fulfill her agreement "wearing from time to time"? I did ask her for a "plan" I'd understand, too, but her only reply was a sigh "Oh, darling..." and nothing else. Hm. Women are generally hard to understand, aren't they?

(And, actually, I wouldn't really want to ask her each time...)

Surely I'd give her some more time to get used to it (and won't order some ballet boots already tomorrow ), but on the other hand, if I let the pauses become too long, I'm afraid it's getting harder (for her, as for me) to get in again. So I'll try to keep all that on a low, but continuous level, and I hope that I'll find an agreeable level for it...

Ben

PS: Is my English understandable at all? I'm heavily using http://dict.leo.org for some more difficult words, but when I'm offered ten or more translation suggestions, I'm not always sure which one to choose in order to express my feelings correctly...

loveheel: I guess you're right. Perhaps I'll find some compromise like "no heels Monday to Wednesday" or something like that. Unfortunately, she doesn't want to talk/know too much about it anyway, so it's sometimes difficult to talk to her seriously because she's not very receptive in this respect.

At least, yesterday in the evening, we looked together at some internet stores and talked a bit about "which ones are parquet-compatible", "is walking in extreme-heels possible" and all that. Still better than if she would just say "I don't want to know anything about it"

In any case, I'll look for some mid-high wedges with rubber sole - that shouldn't upset her too much. I just don't yet know her reaction when (on our next city shopping tour which takes place only about once a month) we pass by a shoe store and I'll say "let's have a look if I'll find something interesting for me". But as far as I know her, she will follow me (even though more or less unwillingly, but that's ok).

Since boots are for winter anyway, I'll save them for later

Ben

Don't worry about your wife, she'll soon get used to it.

Not quite sure. Just talked to her about ordering some ballet/pony boots from the internet (my dream since I can remember). As to the ballet boots, we agreed that it's just fun to wear, and walking would be impossible (although I have found some videos on the internet where people walked apparently pretty safely and quickly); but while the pony boots are marked as "easy walking" and "don't harm the floor", it seems to be irrelevant whether I may step onto our parquet floor because "I won't let you walk down the stairs with that" (well, I could put them off at the upper floor, walk down the stairs, and put them on again - sigh...)

And what makes it still worse: She generally said she wouldn't mind if I wear such stuff from time to time, but not every day! So it seems there still remains a lot of work convincing her...

Ok, now it's not even a week that I told her. Perhaps I'm just going too fast? But it's pretty hard for me to control myself in my current condition

Ben

Sounds to me like you need to get a new pair of shoes that are both well-heeled, and conformal so as not to upset the missus.

That's correct. Once I already had those:

but I gave them away when I got my thong sandals - because my hidden shoe closet was too small and became full. Have to get something similar again on our next city shopping tour...

Ooops, I have to be more careful... when the doorbell rang one hour ago, it was just the time when the postman usually delivers our mail. So I just slipped off my high heels and let them lie on the office floor. Unfortunately, it was not the postman, but a business friend whom I had to take into my office. So I ran up the stairs in front of him to hide the shoes in some office shelf.

Arrrrgh - embarrassing and painful. No need to tell you that my wife is now very angry with me. I think it's better she won't see any shoes at all for the next days...

Ben

(Not quite sure which forum to use - "Hellos", "For the guys" and "Stories" would have matched. Decided "for the guys" because I'm a guy at last )

Hello,

I'm a new user here, my name is Ben (well, almost - I don't want to be googled in this forum by my real name, so I'm using a variation of my lesser known middle name), and I'm living in Germany.

I'm nearly 42 years old, married, no kids, and I've been into high heels already for for many years. Once, about 20 years ago (not married then, not even a GF), I couldn't stand it any more and started to buy some high heels in local stores around. (The first few times, it was still pretty exciting, but later on, I even asked the sales clerk for other sizes, or "whether I can return them if they won't fit". Never told them that they're for myself, though. Maybe they knew anyway, or just didn't care.)

When my GF (who is now my wife) appeared, I hid all my shoes from her because I was afraid of what she would say (or even leave me). I could just wear the shoes when she was at work (fortunately, I had a part-time job at that time, so I was more at home than she).

But in the meantime, I'm working at my home office, and she's my employee - that means, in the last few years I had only a chance to wear my high heels when she was at the hairdresser - about four times a year!

This was a horrible time... I sometimes vaguely indicated my interest in high heels to her, but just got repsonses like "do you want me break my neck?" or "you should have married another woman if you like one wearing such stuff" (she can't at all - she has some very special feet which can't walk in HH for more than one minute: what a pity!).

Well, I got used to that kind of life, until I discovered this forum with those many "tell your wife, she'll find out anyway" messages. Although, in my special case, she'd surely never found my hidden shoe closet, I decided to tell her - somehow, somewhere, somewhen.

From then on, I got really sick (no sleep any more etc.) because I had no idea at all how to make it. Just go to her room and say "oh, darling, by the way, I have some nice high heels which I casually wear, I'm sure you don't mind"? Impossible!

I pondered for about a week (with no result), and then an incredible chain of coincidences happened:

We attended the Lord of the Rings Symphony two weeks ago, and in the lobby, there was an exhibition of very nice little gargoyles, dragons, crystals, miniature swords and so on. It was indicated that one could purchase them in a local store called "The American Store".

We visited that store last week and had a close look at all those nice things and finally purchased some candle holder with dragons around, and a crystal which I'll give her as a Christmas present.

Interestingly, in that shelf, there were some other medieval items, like a chain mail, metal gloves, and... a male chastity belt! (I'm a bit into self bondage, so trying a chastity belt had always been on my wish list, of course without any hope for fulfillment.)

I said to my wife (with a grin) "look what's here, I must have this and try it out", first in a rather funny tone, but while watching all the other stuff, I got more serious until she smiled and said "you have lots of money on your private account (saved from birthdays, Christmas etc.), you can buy whatever you want with it!".

So, we went home with a huge (fortunately opaque) shopping bag with lots of metal in it

At home, after unpacking all our other shoppings, I put on the chastity belt and went to my wife to show it to her. After grinning and talking for a while, the right moment had come.

I said "just talking about bizarre things, I've got to tell you another thing: you already know my shoe spleen. One day, looooong time ago, I couldn't stand it any more and wanted to try things out. I got some pairs of high heel shoes... and I still have them... and I'd really appreciate if you wouldn't mind if I wear them from time to time... of course only within our house".

Whew - now it was said. How would she react? She smiled and said "It's OK, if it's not getting any worse". (I didn't dare to ask her what would be "worse".)

I then got the thong sandals (in my avatar) out of my hiding place and asked her if she would try them on. She did, and had to confess that they were quite comfortable, but just "too high" for her. After that, I put them on (remember, I still had the chastity belt on; it surely was a funny look), and let it on the whole evening during dinner and watching TV.

This has been last Thursday; since then, I only put them off when leaving the house, or when some relatives were visiting us.

Meanwhile, I have shown her already my second pair (I have 6 or 7 in total):

and walked around in the house with them, but then the big problem has turned up: She defined the heels as "not parquet flooring compatible" - we have rather sensitive wooden floor in the living and in the dining room, and she's afraid (and sure) that the heels would leave some deepenings in the floor. (Hmmm - should I tell her that I had already walked around with them on the floor for vacuum-cleaning while she was at work? Better not - she'll kill me.)

Since I have kinda backlog, I now walk every day in high heels - she already asked me once "today again?". I replied "it's surely just because I had to hide it for soooo long" (but you and me know better, don't we all?).

Just the parquet remains a problem: Since I can't wear socks in my thong sandals (except if I get toe socks, but then I won't fit anymore in it because it's nearly too small anyway), I have to get some other high heels for the winter to wear with socks - or some platform boots without spiky heels or something like that (all my other shoes and boots have similar heels as the black ones above - and I may not enter the dining-living-room zone with them, as you know).

Well, as there remains still a rest of money on my private account, I now dare to think about ordering from the internet. Since I always wanted to get the feeling of ballet boots, I consider the ballet boots from Punitive Shoes (I already know that my wife will say I'm absolutely crazy when she'll see the price - perhaps I'll find something less expensive). Of course, those aren't "parquet-compatible" either, but they look just so good that it's worth just walking in the upper floor (my office, my wife's office, restrooms) - don't really think I can walk down stairs anyway (or my wife will forbid me in order to "not break my neck" - she's just so reasonable).

In addition, I'd like to try out some "nearly-ballet" boots like the ones from Punitive Shoes (would prefer the thigh-high, but that's only sold with horse iron, and that's not good on wooden floor, either...) at least, they mention "easy walking" and "rubber sole" which lets me hope to be able to walk around in the complete house including living and dining room (rubber soles are allowed, she said). I'm just wondering about the difference to that other heel shape, for example at the ballet boots from thighhighboots.net they mention "can actually be walked in" and especially "has non skid ridges on the bottom" which will surely please my wife . Hmmm... which one would be more comfortable to walk in? (Besides, ordering from Punitive would be easier for me because they are within Europe, that means, no hassle about customs or taxes - don't really want to drive to the customs office and explain to the customs officer what I have ordered...)

Ok, those are just my dreams at the moment (and have been for a long time) - for now, when going shopping with my wife, I can at least drag her to the nice (that means, women's) shoes and have a look if I find something suitable - for me .

Hope you enjoyed my story so far - we'll see what the future will bring...

Ben