Good Responses From Women: The Ultimate Resource

[Pam]

That is a cool Avatar....it is one of my favorite looks in a girl!

[Dawn HH]

Kneehighs:-) I also like your new Avatar pic and that is one of my favorite looks for girls to. We have a new girl coming into where I work to help set up our museum web site. This was a very pretty young girl with shoulder-blade length brown hair, a short sleeved tight fitting blouse with black dress pants that covered most of the heel on her black leather pointy-toed, 4" spike-heeled pumps. Needless to say, girl watching was VERY interesting that day and I understand that she will be back at least once a week for a while. Here's hoping it is one of the days that I am scheduled to work. Another sighting today. This young lady came out of the drug store, (chemists for you UK people), in front of me with a pair of black leather pointy-toed spiked heel pumps on with a 4.5 or a 5" heel. I stood there and watched her walk down the parking lot and get into a Cadillac and drive off. The way she was dressed, she must have stopped there on her way home from work. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[kneehighs]

Thanks for the compliments guys. I actually "borrowed" the pic from aspoint girls yahoo club pics.

With reference to the original thread post, here is a quote from a member of Australian Vogue. I feel the need to protect her identity since she confided with me in pm's, so I wont say who wrote this. The quote was obtained from a pm so it's value extends beyond the information available to everyone on the public forum. Enjoy the educated and astute email she gave me.

Firstly, I never put *too* much faith in the opinions given by a lot of people on fashion forums. This isn’t because I think they lack a quality sense of style, but more so I don’t necessarily trust their visualisation skills – or their articulation. When someone says ‘I don’t like it’ or ‘I wouldn’t wear it’ - this doesn’t mean anything to me at all. On the other hand, if they can explain *why* I might allow their opinion to carry some weight.

I find some of the negative responses you’ve received to be quite predictable. I believe very few people posses a thought process that puts them ‘ahead of the game’. The ‘trend setters’ are few and far between and most often so far ahead that initial responses are almost always negative. Especially here in Australia, we suffer from a near medial condition within our creative industries that can be easily translated as ‘ if it hasn’t already been proven a success overseas, we CAN”T adopt it here’. I’m sure this stems from an insecure national identity. Did you know we are building an Aussie version of the London Eye here in Melbourne? Our state government quite clearly lacks faith in our own architects and designers to come up with an original idea . This is slowly beginning to change within our fashion industry with the recognition of a number of Australian labels both here and OS, but when it comes to design, architecture, film, landscape etc, the bureaucracy surrounding those industries (which ultimately control the money) keep a strangle hold on the realisation of an original thought. And I believe this way of thinking filters down into the everyday people and their everyday decisions. So, to take the long way around, it doesn’t surprise me in the least these predictable negative responses you’ve received in the public thread. However, give them a few years and they may change their opinion.

But you’ve asked me a specific question and I’ve been rambling! (sorry )Your combination of what many believe to be ‘women’s shoes’ into your male wardrobe quite clearly confuses people as they unfortunately hold very defined views of what denotes and implies gender in fashion. I personally do not understand the lack of equality between the genders and our wardrobes. If women can look at their bodies as sculpture, why can’t men? If women can challenge convention within their lives through their wardrobe choices, why can’t men? If women can indulge the idea of Fashion as Art, why can’t men? Personally, I really like what you’ve put together – even if it’s not the complete and final look! If I were out at a bar sipping a cocktail and you walked in the door in (either) pair of jeans from your pics and those shoes, I would be very impressed. I might even buy you a drink

It’s a very ballsy combination. I really like it. I think it’s very progressive.

I hope NYC is treating you well. Is it warming up over there yet? Our winter is almost upon us but we’re still waiting for the rain.

[JeffB]

It's certainly good to know that women from different parts of the globe, like that lady from Australia are forward thinking and are willing to accept the sight of a man in high heels. I've always been of the opinion that women are the ultimate barometer of whether our passion can be accepted because they're far more willing to comment on the shoes we wear and how we wear them while men are more apt to say nothing at all, or if they do, chances are it might be something negative. Personally, I'd rather get comments on my shoes from women since they're open to giving their honest opinions and even a helpful tip here and there because they have a more finely tuned sense of fashion when it comes to shoes than men do.

[Pam]

WOW ... great posting!

[Shafted]

Thanks kneehighs for the encouraging posting. The only problem with large scale acceptance of men in heels is how would I stand out from the crowd then?

[kneehighs]

Here's another pm from a different source whose identity I won't reveal either. Initially, she reacted negatively, but here is her follow up pm. It's a total 180. This woman is educated and intelligent too.

Hi Kneehighs

...The tighter top is definately much better and I prefer the shoes with the 7 jeans. I think the pointy toe and stilletto heel is quite elegant and seems to suit the darker colour jeans more. Also because the jeans are darker the shoes standout less and that would make it more suitable to wear around people who have never seen it done by a man before....however, if you want it to stand out then you may not want to do that but I dont think the jeans have muted the shoes.

Both the Bananna Rep and 7 jeans I prefer over the ones you had in the original pic because it has torn bits at the bottom heam of the pant legs.

In relation to women having fun...heels can be a PAIN to walk in. But they do look great.

xxxname deletedxxx

PS The heel look is startiing to grow on me. You may be starting a revolution.

[Shafted]

Thanks for the follow up on that forum kneehighs. It certainly was an interesting read.

[kneehighs]

Thanks kneehighs for the encouraging posting

Thanks for the follow up on that forum kneehighs. It certainly was an interesting read.

Your welcome. I have 47 pms to sort through. I'll post a couple more later.

[kneehighs]

Here's another PM from another different source at the Australian Vogue site. Look how open she is:

Hi!

I actually really enjoyed reading the threads and posts on the HH Forum and you're right - I did educate myself, not only on the way other people live and what makes them happy, but I also learnt to be less judgemental and more open to ideas I wouldn't normally contemplate.

It's so easy to judge a person based on their appearance and I only with the other members who've posted negatively on your thread could take the time to read the HH Forums too because it is beneficial for everyone.

It's all about tolerance at the end of the day and I thank you for creating that thread in the first place - otherwise I wouldn't have learnt anything!!

Cheers from Australia!

For those of you know that don't what Australian Vogue thread I am referring to, visit here:

http://www.vogue.com.au/forums/showthread.php?t=89116&highlight=kneehighs

[crotchhiboots]

Tonight at a meeting a women told me that I had some nice shoes, I had on my cork wedges with tan sude straps.

[JeffB]

Kneehighs: I've throughly enjoyed reading the responses from those women in Australia. Open mindedness among women when it comes to men in heels is indeed most refreshing. When they see fashion, tastefully done and well presented, more often than not, women will comment positively, regardless of who sports the fashion, as has been the case with me and my public exploits in heels at the place where I work. It's so rewarding to us all that this board has opened both eyes and minds from so far away!

[dr1819]

Definately a forward moment there, kneehighs!

[Magickman]

There I was, at Harbor Freight Tool Store in West Saint Paul, Minnesota, looking at wrenches on sale. I was wearing black, zip-up low ankle boots with 3" heels. "Oh my God," said the cashier, a Hispanic woman, "You're wearing heels. Are those womens' shoes?" With a smile, I replied, "Not any more." Then I added, "You should see my really high ones."

[Shafted]

There I was, at Harbor Freight Tool Store in West Saint Paul, Minnesota, looking at wrenches on sale. I was wearing black, zip-up low ankle boots with 3" heels. "Oh my God," said the cashier, a Hispanic woman, "You're wearing heels. Are those womens' shoes?"

With a smile, I replied, "Not any more." Then I added, "You should see my really high ones."

A real moment indeed! What kind of heels were they on those boots?

[Bubba136]

Magicman's reaction to the cashier's surprise at his shoes underlines the way most people react when directly confronted with cross-gender specific issues. First and foremost, they react to seeing someone wearing clothing of the opposite sex (mostly male wearing female clothing) with surprise because the to see a man in women's vestments, unless dressed in total drag, is very rare. Secondly, those men that hesitate to wear their heels, skirts or dresses in broad daylight, out in the open public, do so for this very reason. They realize the chances of bodily harm aren't very great. However, it's (in most cases) the humiliation they feel when someone reacts to them as if they are a strange alien creature that really doesn’t belong on this planet. This reaction is normal since we've all been brain washed into believing that antisocial behavior is degenerate and not to be tolerated. Who -- what man -- would purposely put themselves into that situation? Two different types come immediately to mind. The first is those that really don't give a damn what people say or think. The second type is those that care what people think but are so desperate they will suffer through the insults and cruel remarks to carry out their desires. And, although it is true that the fear of ridicule decreases with each and every public exposure, for most of us, the only way total ease and comfort we all yearn for is still a long way away from realization. This is the fundamental, primary and important reason Peachy's shoe store must flourish. Because it is one place heel wearing men can go to try on, buy and wear their heels in total comfort and acceptance, without fear of ridicule.

[Dawn HH]

Nicely put, Bubba...I totally agree with you on that subject. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[fashionablefun]

I have a fun thing going with the young women who manage the dry cleaner/laundry I visit regularly. They’ve commented on my fashion before, so I always try to make it worthwhile. When I dropped off the most recent batch, the young woman said, "cool shoes" (actually they were boots) when I stepped out of the car. It’s a drive through establishment and I have a small, two-seater sports car. The women usually come out to greet drive-up customers and, with little room inside the car, I keep the clothes in the trunk, which requires opening the car door and getting out of a low-slung seat for access to the rear of the car. It provides a clear view of footwear. When I returned to pick-up my clothes, a different young woman (not the one assisting me) said, "I like your boots." I was wearing my tan Antonio Melani western-inspired, stiletto boots with a 4-inch heel. I simply said, “Thank you”. Interestingly, she then asked, "Are you a rock star?" I laughed and said I just like fashion. A few moments later, after transacting the payment, she said, "Yea -- you are a rock star." I said, OK, if you say so, hopped in the car drove off with a smile on my face.

[kneehighs]

When I returned to pick-up my clothes, a different young woman (not the one assisting me) said, "I like your boots." I was wearing my tan Antonio Melani western-inspired, stiletto boots with a 4-inch heel. I simply said, “Thank you”. Interestingly, she then asked, "Are you a rock star?" I laughed and said I just like fashion. A few moments later, after transacting the payment, she said, "Yea -- you are a rock star." I said, OK, if you say so, hopped in the car drove off with a smile on my face.

I would have said, "Yah, I'm a rock star. Why, you wanna be one of my groupies?..blah, blah...but you have to wear at least 4" heels like all my other groupies..."

[kneehighs]

Here's another positive comment from a woman who lives in Europe. It's not from Vogue Australia, or TFS, but from a travel forum. Either way, its still encouraging. In this case, I just "came out" to her after about four private messages. Here is her reply word for word,

U wrote about it in such a beautiful way that i felt i want some more pics!!! do u work for the fashion magazine - what u wrote seems to me like a really good part of an interesting article on fashion, feminity/masculinity... Im amazed! In a good sense of this word! You must be very special person, kneehighs. i like your rebel!!

Why did she use the word "rebel?" In context, she explained to me how she wasn't going to be spending the holidays with her family--against the wishes of her family. So, I casually called her a rebel. And I said, "I sometimes "rebel" but in a different way. Against society for me. I can

explain more later if you are curious and open minded enough to respect it."

To which she replied, "yeah, it's not really that i want to rebel something. im concentrated on why im going to states than why im missing another "exciting" family gathering.. anyways, i would love it if u tell me about your society rebels. Really curious to know!"

[Danielinheels]

I'm in the process of downsizing the number of shoes I have, both guy and girl shoes. I'd bagged all my girl shoes up and was ready to drive to the Goodwill, when I remembered that an ex of mine who I'm still good friends with basically wears the same size that I do.. I gave her the green light to take any shoes in the bag; none were off limits. She took the stilettos I'm wearing in the picture to the left, as well as two pairs of sandals and my platform sandals. On her way to her car, she motioned to the stilettos and said, "I bet you looked nice in those." All I could do was smile...

[kneehighs]

Thanks for adding your story Danielle! If anyone else has a story about how they received a positive response from a woman, please don't hesitate to add it here to this thread!

[Danielinheels]

Yeah, it was nice. I felt kinda good afterwards. At first I was reluctant to do it, for fear of how she'd take me having all these shoes in her size, but she hasn't said anything to that effect. It was also nice to know that they'd probably get a little more wear from her than they did from me.

[Danielinheels]

A friend of mine, upon finding out that I'm getting rid of some of my shoes, was actually shocked that I'd be doing so. I've actually been her inspiration to step out of her sneakers - she was the one who I sent the video of me walking in heels to. I no longer have that video (forgot to salvage it from the old computer), but she has made progress since seeing that video and watching my collection grow. I put it in perspecitve for her - her shoe size, 7½, is the size that got me started wearing women's shoes so many moons ago at the age of nine. But she's been really supportive of me, and wants next to see me in a pair of knee boots. With ShockQueen's thread linking to a pair for $40, she might soon get that wish yet!

[dr1819]

A few times while waiting in line, if the crowds were kind of thin, I've had women remark, "I like your taste in heels. They look nice on you." I wonder if it were really the heels, or my otherwise conservative, but more expensive-looking choice of clothes? Perhaps they were more interested in striking up a conversation with a guy who's comfortable enough in his own masculinity that he's not afraid to mix nice slacks, shirt, and a blazer with a tasteful pair of heels. Then again, I've met a fair number of women out there that are into some kink that's way beyond me, so I don't really know where a guy wearing heels fits in that scale.

[JeffB]

A few times while waiting in line, if the crowds were kind of thin, I've had women remark, "I like your taste in heels. They look nice on you."

I wonder if it were really the heels, or my otherwise conservative, but more expensive-looking choice of clothes? Perhaps they were more interested in striking up a conversation with a guy who's comfortable enough in his own masculinity that he's not afraid to mix nice slacks, shirt, and a blazer with a tasteful pair of heels.

Then again, I've met a fair number of women out there that are into some kink that's way beyond me, so I don't really know where a guy wearing heels fits in that scale.

Well, to throw in my two cents worth, women appreciate good fashion, regardless of what it is or who might be wearing it. I think women for the most part admire men who aren't afraid to express their own unique sense of style, and if you're dressed nicely and everything looks good from head to toe, they'll compliment you on your appearance. I know this from experience from all the compliments I've gotten from female co-workers at the place where I work. As for ladies who get into....kinky stuff, well, different strokes for different folks!

[Shafted]

Hi 6in_pumps.

This is not an isolated occurance a pair of boots that I also bought from zappos had a review by a woman telling of a guy at the office who tried her boots on and she too found them attractive on him in a strange sort of way.

http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/6374255/c/3/reviewcount/25.html#mr

4th one down by Amber N

BTW: Those are cool boots with those silver heels, but alas a bit more than I'm willing to spend.

[JeffB]

Quite remarkable reading to say the least. In the meantime, Shafted, I'm highly envious of you and those mondo sharp Two Lips boots you own. If they came in my size, I'd order a pair TODAY!!!

[Shafted]

Quite remarkable reading to say the least. In the meantime, Shafted, I'm highly envious of you and those mondo sharp Two Lips boots you own. If they came in my size, I'd order a pair TODAY!!!

Something tells me you'll get over it Jeff. Another ebay buying binge perhaps?

[Shafted]

Shafted, they indeed are nice boots. If they had my size I think I would order a pair, but alas, no.

The other boots you pointed too were cute as well. I actually have bought a couple pairs of sandals from the "Two Lips" brand. Not bad but they max out at 10 usually which is OK for me in a sandal but I wish their boots went to 11.

Actually my Two Lips boots are 11's, but I think that Zappos may be out of them in that size in the black anyway. Unfortunaty I don't think that you will be able to find them elsewhere as Two Lips made them specifically for Zappos. Note that the model is called Zappo. You could try one of the other colors to see if they are available in 11.