hiheellover23 Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Hi everyone got another topic again. Have any of you ever had that moment when you told your significant other about your love for heels and they were okay with it. In the begining, they were willing to help you with adapting to your new desire whether helping you with outfits or going out with you to places. But then later on, you two feel disconnected. What got you excited doesn't really do it for her as much. I don't mean jumping for joy and being your cheerleader but just mentioning you and heels in the same sentence just makes you feel uncomfortable around her.Like just when you feel like you two are together on the subject you start to grow farther apart. My example is this is that i use to go out with my girlfriend to the alternative club in heels and I have to be on my P's and Q's I don't want to do the wrong thing or make the wrong move or she will mention that I may have some questionable "tendencies". But when I go to the club on my own I don't have to worry about any of that. I'm not there to pick up anyone just looking to dance make small conversation and go home. I get applauded for dancing so well in my heels and it makes me feel really good and I don't have to worry about pleasing anyone like for that one to two hours I feel free. So my question is have any of you had that feeling of withdrawal from your spouse or significant other if so how did you deal with it??? What ya see is what ya get no more or less!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleekHeels Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 That's an interesting topic. Some guys spend years keeping their heels a secret which understandably creates a sense of isolation and disconnect with friends and loved ones. Then take the huge step of confiding, in the hope that by reaching out and being open and honest about it will bring you closer together, but instead there's more of a disconnect. It's probably quite common for us to be quite self-absorbed by our heels and that euphoric sense of escape and freedom when we wear them, but as a result significant others may well feel like we love our heels more than we love them. If that's the issue, I'd suggest focusing on making sure they also get something positive out of you wearing heels (e.g. you're more affectionate or give them more attention, if that's what they want). You want them to think "He's much nicer in heels" rather than "oh no, I've lost him to the heels again". If you like it, wear it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilikekicks Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 Hi everyone got another topic again. Have any of you ever had that moment when you told your significant other about your love for heels and they were okay with it. Yep. Happened with 2 women so far. In the begining, they were willing to help you with adapting to your new desire whether helping you with outfits or going out with you to places. But then later on, you two feel disconnected. What got you excited doesn't really do it for her as much. I don't mean jumping for joy and being your cheerleader but just mentioning you and heels in the same sentence just makes you feel uncomfortable around her. This has less to do with clothing and more to do with the individuals involved. Like just when you feel like you two are together on the subject you start to grow farther apart. My example is this is that i use to go out with my girlfriend to the alternative club in heels and I have to be on my P's and Q's I don't want to do the wrong thing or make the wrong move or she will mention that I may have some questionable "tendencies". But when I go to the club on my own I don't have to worry about any of that. Huge difference. In one instance, your ' with ' someone. In the other, its only your personality that has to be seen/heard. So my question is have any of you had that feeling of withdrawal from your spouse or significant other if so how did you deal with it??? I have been confronted about something that Darian thought was a ' deficiency '. I thought it might have been some form of her not liking what I was wearing or someone I spoke with. It was neither. It was something else and seeing as we as individuals try to be aware of doing things and keeping ourselves accountable, we often miss something in the process and have no idea that we did. I dont think its your shoes.. It wasnt for me or even many others that I know whom have been ' blindsided ' with something believing it might be something else. Be well! -Ilk REPEATEDLY ARGUMENTATIVE, INSULTING AND RUDE. BANNED FOR LIFE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pebblesf Posted May 13, 2012 Share Posted May 13, 2012 My love of hiheel boots has definitely strained my relationship....My partner definitely thinks I look foolish in sexy boots, this has certainly caused an unfortunate problem for us.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtnsofheels Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 Yes on some occasions but as it turned out to be about her worrying that someone wanting/or could harm me rather than me wearing what I wanted too wear on my feet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeelinF Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 Yes, a few years. She could not talk about it. So couldn't I. It took a few years to get her used to the idea that I wear heels and still are the same man/husband and for all not being gay. HeelinF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hiheellover23 Posted May 20, 2012 Author Share Posted May 20, 2012 Well here is another example just like this past weekend we were going to go out to an alternative club. And she says I'll go if you want to go. And I mean I hate that it just feels like her arm is being twisted to go or it feels like a chore to go out there with me. If I do things with her I do them because I feel like it is something that we can do together and not feel like it is something that I'm obligated to do. She mentions that she will help me get dressed to go out and I feel like at the point and time that if she doesn't go out with me its not really a point of going out because I'm not trying to be social and taking anyone home from the club and that I would have enjoyed it more being there with her. So we stay home and the night is wasted!!! What ya see is what ya get no more or less!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleekHeels Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 There's no harm in telling her that going out is nothing special, it's going out with her that makes it special. From what you've said it's perfectly true, maybe she just needs to hear it. You could also help her get dressed to go out too (even if you're not much "help", shower her with attention and make it an exciting event for her, her positivity will automatically make it more exciting for you too. If you like it, wear it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HHeeler Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 To amend a bit -I have owned as many as 140 or 150 pair of heels at one time. But, alas, no longer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mechanic Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 My wife is "OK" with me and my boots. And she is just now coming around to liking them herself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HHeeler Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 (edited) To amend a bit -I have owned as many as 140 or 150 pair of heels at one time. But, alas, no longerSorry, wrong thread. But to answer the question no, I don't feel disconnected. Just a little disappointed that she can't share in my interest. Edited May 23, 2012 by HHeeler Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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